The Amazing Race Episode 11

Last week on Good Riddance (no, not the song):
The Bama girls realized that the Chos were holding them back. Hmmm, all this time the Chos have been making us think they've been helping Bama. Hmmm. There was a lot of bad rapping and some tank driving with Dennis and Andrew. (Okay, I know the joke's gotten old and most people probably don't even remember Season 3. Still..) The Chos sucked at life and got eliminated nine and a half legs too late.

This week on The Pretend Recap:
I will be honest. It's 1:15 AM and my Stats homework isn't finishing itself. However, I will also be honest when I say my recap deadlines are more important to me. Plus, the homework doesn't have to be done until 5 PM tomorrow.

And if we're being honest here, I'll also have to admit that I'm really weird about watching TV shows. With reality shows, I often watch episodes multiple times. It's easy on Bravo since they replay each episode a gazillion times. Lately, I've found myself falling into a pattern. I have a really hard time watching episodes in which I know something bad will happen beforehand. I had a really hard time watching this past Top Model episode because of the whole Caridee drama. I only watched it once. However, I can watch episodes like the one where Anchal was booted multiple times. I don't like watching really dramatic scenes like when people fight or get injured or get sick. I especially don't like watching when something bad happens to my favorites. I don't know, maybe I've been too effected.

Anyway, what I'm meaning to say is I didn't watch this past episode of TAR very closely at all. I knew that my Barbies would falter because I read on forums before I watched the show. When I watched the show, I didn't even watch it entirely. I mean, I saw the whole thing, but I was playing Minesweeper during most of it. I also got really angry and did my whole talking back to the contestants thing a lot. Basically, this recap might not be very thorough or accurate. I will, however, express my feelings on things.

The major gist of this episode goes like this: Teams travel somewhere.. this is bad, I don't even remember where they went. Barbies went through a lot of trouble with flights and connections only to end up on the same last connecting flight with everybody else. Everybody pissed and moaned about how the Barbies are great racers. The Barbies Yield Bama. The Roadblock had one team member riding on a chariot and pulling flags. Teams were really close together and the Barbies drove too far when going for the Detour. All teams went for grind it and there were only three work stations, which meant the Barbies had to wait around. This sucked and the Barbies were last at a NEL. Oh, and Bama raced twenty times better than they ever had, being alliance-less. We'll get to this later.

I just did three problems. Glorious. In this faux recap, I would like to cover several things: A.) Why the Barbies are great and why I hate how everybody hates them, B.) Why I think Bama is actually much better than the Chos were, C.) Rob and Kimberly's car trouble, D.) Two all-female teams in the top 4, E.) Typecasting and editing, who will be the final three, and how will they place.

A- Why the Barbies are great and why I hate how everybody hates them
As everybody knows, I love the Barbies. I will also admit that it's very hard to pull me from my favorites once I'm set on them. I will admit the Barbies have done some catty things that were a little unnecessary. However, it's almost impossible for me to turn on my favorites. Example: I really liked Danielle from Survivor 12, last season. No matter how much was thrown in my face about how useless she was, I remained loyal. I also liked the Mycoskies until the end in TAR 2 even though people thought they were sneaky and didn't play well with others.

I think the Barbies are great because they're a typical pretty model-y all-female team that is always cast every season. I would argue that the cheerleaders are a perfect example of the typical good-looks-bad-brains young female team that is in every season. Occasionally, though, we find a competitive girl in there somewhere (Tian from Season 4, the twins from Season 5 to a degree, although they did get really lucky sometimes). This is the first time that a pair of pretty girls have really surged ahead and been seen as a threat. They have been great racers this entire season. They've had some luck just like all the other teams and they've had two bad legs just like all the other teams, including Tyler and James. They don't depend on a strong all-male team to lead them along like many other all-female teams have in the past. They make it a point to race their own race and depend only on each other. They make aggressive plays and they think with their heads. It's just really refreshing to see such a strong young all-female team.

Now, what I hate is that because they are two pretty girls who are beauty queens, people will constantly mention it like it means there's no way they could be good racers. I hate that because they're racing hard, they're seen as conniving and manipulative. I am proud that for once, the young all-female team is the one that's trying to lose the other teams when they're driving to a location. I love that they're the ones that people are keeping an eye out for. I can't stand that when an all-female team is doing what all-male teams have been doing since the first season of this show, they're viewed as the villains. When an all-male team excels, people say it's because young males are athletic and make good decisions. Dustin and Kandace are just as strong as any of those all-male teams that exceled at this game. In fact, they've proven multiple times that when they're put up against Tyler and James, they often come out ahead.

I hate the perception of young all-female teams, especially beauty queens, as weak. I will say, I am a young female, definitely not of beauty queen caliber, and I'm in the demographic that often labels girls like these as a bad image of women and women rights. Oh course, I've never been that type, but I just want to say that I think it's significant for this to be said. I'm not saying it because I'm a guy that thinks the girls are hot. I'm a female their age. I just think it needs to be said. These girls are the strongest all-female team ever to be on this show. They have done consistently better than the majority of teams on this show. I'm tired of all the ratting on them.

I'm especially tired of all the teams complaining when D/K rush off on their own. They're trying to gain a lead. They're trying to leave before anybody else follows them. They're not giving any information to other teams. They work by themselves and don't have alliances. How is any of this a problem? It might be if all of the teams were on a field trip together and D/K left without letting anyone know. I'm not sure, but I'll ask Jonathan. Yup, this is a game for a million dollars. That's a '1' followed by six '0's. Wow. If I were there, I would be doing all of those things too. This is not The Amazing Best Friends Race (holla, Jade). I just don't understand when one of the teams says, "Oh, the blondes drove off. They're so sneaky. Let's try to follow them." How does this not prove my point? D/K are running their own race. They're doing really well and other teams are trying to follow them. This should be a refreshing sight to see. How dare those fools act like it's a crime to be blonde females and do well in this race.

If you have different views on this, please email me and I will immediately stop doing my homework and have a discussion with you.

B- Why I think Bama is actually much better than the Chos were
Now, you would think that if I love the Barbies, I would hate Bama. Here's the deal.. I don't hate them. I rarely truly hate a team ever. Jonathan and Victoria are an exception. I can't even say I hate Colin and Christie because I don't.. I actually respect them.. their racing, that is. Not their interpersonal skills. I attribute a lot of Bama's success so far as luck. Many people may think this about D/K. However, Bama's the one that's been second to last many times. They've made some stupid decisions as well.

However, this leg, I've started to wonder. Was their tendency to suck at life the result of their alliance? Everytime they did poorly on a leg, they were right back there with either Kentucky or the Chos. This leg, when they finally dropped the last of their baggage, they began to race much better. I guess we'll see next leg if it looks like luck or not. I personally think the Chos were holding Bama back. They were so adament at having another team with them at all times. Maybe it was because if they didn't hold onto Bama, Bama would beat them. If they held onto Bama, they'd easily beat the two moms in a foot race. We saw that when Bama ditched the Chos, they (Bama) soar way ahead and finished the leg smoothly.

I do think Bama is playing this game as well. They're probably intimidated by D/K a little and of course see them as competition. They're a prime candidate of those who see beauty queens and write them off as weak and stupid. They probably thinks that the Barbies "think they're better than everybody else." If only they could all look at this as a success for two independent female teams. Ahh, I'm sounding all feminist right now. I'm not. I'll stop.

C- Rob and Kimberly's car trouble
I think this is the funniest thing ever. When one of the Bama girls said, "When every car you drive breaks down, maybe it's not the cars. Maybe it's you," I said YES. This is so ironic and so funny. Everything Rob touches turns to crap. They've had, what, three car breakdowns? And Rob's had a couple breakdowns alongside. This is probably the most car trouble we've seen for one team on this show. Kimberly's horse also broke that one time when it knocked her down by the throat. Haha. Maybe the TAR karma fairy wants to torture them.

D- Two all-female teams in the top 4
I just wanted to mention that it's the first time this has happened since TAR began. It's taken TEN whole seasons. The closest we've come is Season 5 when the twins were fifth and the Bowling Moms were fourth. Stupid Brandon and Nikki not being eliminated when Brandon wouldn't shave his head. I probably dislike Brandon and Nikki more than I do Colin and Christie. They're so Freddy-and-Kendra-like. Teams that have no internal conflict but fight with other teams piss me off more than teams that have a lot of internal fighting. Except Ron and Kelly. Whatever fighting they had going on, regardless, I didn't like them at all.

E- Typecasting and editing, who will be the final three, and how will they place
Shows like this always typecast for their contestants. More importantly to me, though, is how teams are edited once they're on the show. People like to say you can never predict what will happen on these shows because everything that happens is unique to this one season. I say bull. I am a Communication major and this is some of the stuff we study.

Here's the deal.. nothing on any of these reality shows is happening for the first time, the only time, or the last time. This is not a live running documentary. This is an edited, produced show. When editors are piecing together the show, they know what has happened and they are bound both by the result of the game as well as previous storylines. When something works well, you don't change it. When it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? The producers know how the viewing public responds to certain teams. They know, especially by now, what combination of teams and what storyline will work. I repeat, nothing on this show is happening for the only time.

So, that said, the final four are examples of four.. maybe three.. classic types of teams. Tyler and James, who I actually just typed out as Eric and Jere.. before I realized what I had done, are the alpha-male team. We've always had an alpha-male team in the finals, with the exception of the seasons when we weren't given one (think power couples, seasons 5-7). They're the team that's fast and often finish first a lot early on in the race. When they're also smart, in addition to being fast, they're often unbeatable (seasons 1 and 2 in particular). They usually have very little interpersonal conflict.

There's our typical power couple. This season, we have our bickering power couple. This is the Frank and Margarita (although Rob and Kim do NOT hold a candle to Frank and Margarita at all.. Frank and Margarita were awesome), Tara and Wil, Flo and Zach, Kelly and Jon/Millie and Chuck, Colin and Christie, Rebecca and Adam/Hayden and Aaron, Ron and Kelly, and MoJo. That list is the template on which Rob and Kimberly were created. I'm not saying their personas were invented. They're just a spitting image of these other teams.

There's also our underdog teams. They're the teams that you would never predict at the start of the race to make it far. I would have said Tyler and James and Rob and Kimberly preshow if I was asked who were the most likely teams to make it to the finals. I would not have predicted D/K or Bama. D/K have definitely proven to not be actual underdogs, but they are still an unlikely team as far as how their race credentials stack up. Bama is classic underdog. They're like Teri and Ian. That's my best example. They're Teri and Ian and I see a possibility of Bama sneaking in there and taking second place. I don't think they'll win, however.

Who do I think are the final three? Tyler and James, Bama, and Rob and Kimberly, probably finishing in that order, maybe with the second and third places switched. I would love to D/K in there, but I think the NEL has sealed their fate. Who knows, though. I would love to see them there, I just see them as more of the Hayden and Aaron than the Kris and Jon. It's hard to say that, but T/J, Bama, and R/K are classic final three characters. I would love if the alpha-males didn't win again, but Bama and R/K just aren't functional enough to take them out. I think D/K could do it, but unfortunately, I don't think they'll be given the chance. Please prove me wrong, please! It's just what the previews and my gut are telling me.

I won't have a "Next week on.." segment. It's all been covered. We'll see how it pans out.

Until next time..

Survivor Episode 11

Clip of the Week:


Last week on Good Things Do Not Come To Those Who Suck:
Aitu continued smashing Raro to pieces. Raro continued being obnoxious and unsupportive. For the entire episode, Rebecca couldn't care less. After losing immunity, Raro was given a bottle with a note inside. Everybody thought it would be flowers and sunshine, except for Parvati who reasoned that good things do not come to those who suck. Raro voted out Rebecca and then the special twist sent Jenny away as well. Our jury is now three Raro members strong.

This week on The Best Season of Survivor Since The Amazon:
Was this the week where Candice and Adam were kissing in the hut or am I just having an impossible time getting that image out of my head? Disgusting. Oh, at some point, Jonathan is catching fish and the rest of Raro is sleeping. Which is exactly what I would be doing. The punk decided to come over to Raro unwelcomed. Let him fish if he thinks it's keeping him alive. I think that's part of it. A lot of it is also the fact that other people have sucked more than him.

Oh, by the way, this is my favorite episode ever. I was so excited when I found out Nate was voted off, I'm surprised I've waited this long to write up the recap. It has something to do with all the traveling and only watching the episode once. Believe me, I will be seeing it again, but not just yet. Finals are creeping up on me real fast. Not that this recap is about my boring life. The clip of the week might have to be when Nate was voted off. It's not particularly action-packed and exciting in that way, but it's funny and awesome and exciting in it's own amazing way.

Anyway, so when Jonathan gets back from catching fish and attaching them to his crotch, he finds his tribe sitting around and pretending to try to start a fire. Excellent. This is how I see it.. if someone else is willing to do the work and there are many other slackers, why do the work? I'm not one of those people who sees Survivor as an actual game of surviving in the wild. It's a game of surviving the social, strategic, and intellectual aspects.

Jonathan's pissed nonetheless and pisses and moans. Nate continues to be an ass and says Jonathan should just be a servant like he's meant to be because he's so far down in the food chain that if he doesn't watch out, he'll get eaten. Can it, Nate. Let's see where you are in the food chain once this episode is over. I watch most of these shows knowing what happened as I'm watching. This is because I'm on the west coast when I'm at school-home and I often watch shows a day or two late. I always have to know what happened, so when I'm actually watching the show, sometimes I like to mock the contestants with what I know about the outcome. Of course, I'm talking to the contestants through my TV screen and it's totally me who's the lame one, but still.

We are shown like five seconds of life on Aitu beach. Apparently Yul feels like crap because ass-kicking takes a toll on you after awhile. His legs are beat and Sundra's are all cut up too. This is too bad, but I think the only reason this was shown was because there's never any controversy at Aitu camp. They're always off working efficiently and getting things done and getting along. There's really nothing to show to an audience that loves yelling and fighting and drama drama drama.

So tribes arrive for the reward challenge. Jeff tells Aitu that both Rebecca and Jenny were voted off and Aitu is shocked that two are gone. Probably at the same time, they're thinking that if it was them, they would be down to two. Of course, that was never a possibility because the probability of them losing was like one in a gazillion. So apparently since Raro sucks at life, this reward challenge they don't even have to play in. They just get the reward: not having to compete against Aitu anymore and getting their asses handed to them. It's a merge. They get new buffs and paints and a new tribe flag.

I really think this is the mark of a good season when nothing is shown of the naming of the new tribe, the painting of the new flag, or any of that useless filler. They had so much interesting footage to show that we don't really even know what the new tribe name is. Parvati mentions it once during the IC, but I didn't really catch it. Aitutonga or something? A combination the two tribes.. typical. In bad seasons, though, they'll put in a big clip of people bickering about the tribe name and somebody painting the flag all pretty and special. Not this time. This season is the best thing since The Amazon and I'm probably just glorifying that season because I haven't seen it in a long time. It probably wasn't even this great. I love this season. Survivor hasn't jumped the shark. It is here to stay.

So they have to decide where to live and Raro wants Aitu to come to their beach. Yul wants an educated decision, so he asks Candice and Jonathan who have seen both camps. They say Raro camp is better, with more food and less rats. Of course this is Jonathan speaking, Mr. Rat Central, so who knows. There's a floating party of fun waiting for the new tribe as they are sent off to Raro beach. The younger Raro fools party too much and drink so much that they puke, which, thank you for not showing us, editors. Aitu is wise and sits back and watches and waits for Raro to accidentally spill all of their dirty secrets.

This is the point where Jonathan informs us that they are playing for a million dollars. What a shocker. Really, I thought they were playing for a dollar and a free pizza. Then Jonathan tells us that a million dollars is a '1' followed by six '0's. Amazing. Give this man a free cheeseburger, he knows his numbers! Oh, and at some point, Yul talks about how he would love to get to know the members of Raro that he doesn't know yet. Everybody agrees that he's a true gentleman or something and then they continue to party.

Wow, I should really do what I'm supposed to be doing. So Nate and Ozzy have some man-crush deal going on where they both recognize how awesome Ozzy is. Haha. I'm not insinuating anything actually. A man-crush is what I call two people really wanting to be friends. Anyway, so Ozzy also recognizes that he should be faithful to Aitu, which is great because it's so true. If you could pick between Yul and Nate to be aligned with, it's Yul all the way. Yul has the brainpower and the loyalty to carry the Aitu four straight to victory. I'm sure there's worry about the Yul-Becky bond, but honestly, it's too early for that. Ozzy can easily take the individual immunities to secure his own spot in the finals. Don't worry, Ozz-man. Stay with Yul!

Speaking of Yul. He and Becky are scheming and I'm glad to finally see some of this. This here is two extremely intelligent people talking pure strategy with one another. They have complete faith in each other that their bond is strong and trust that they will always have each others' backs. And whether or not there's any attraction between the two, they're dealing strictly business in this game. They recognize that there's a time for relationships.. outside of the game. I really like these two.

They're talking about whether they should tell the other Aitu kids about Yul having the idol. It's decided that this is a great time to do it. Yul first runs into Sundra and tells her. She's of course excited and then she and Becky dance around excitedly, which is awesome. Exactly how I feel, girls. Then they run into Ozzy and let him know. Yul manages to deliver the news in a way that neither of the two question why he kept this information from them for so long, or why Becky knew so much earlier than them. Yul's a smart cookie.

Yul also manages to catch Jonathan at some point and tries to pull him over to the Aitu side. Yul brings up the possibility of the hidden immunity idol coming into play. In perhaps the best move ever, Yul makes it clear that Jonathan is safest with Aitu. If he agrees to join back with them, a physically strong Raro member goes home this week. If he says no, then they vote him out. What Yul also considers to himself in confessional is that if Jonathan is playing them, Yul will have to play the idol and then life would suck. Either way though, it seems that a strong Raro member is going home. Yay!

We have arrived at the first individual immunity challenge of the season! There are many poles set up on the beach. This challenge requires them to stay on their poles for as long as possible. They cannot use the top of the pole for leverage. I would normally mention the possibly bias of this challenge towards Ozzy, because Survivor has had it's history of favoring challenges towards certain underdogs (Darrah from Pearl Islands, Terry from last season). But then I thought about it. This challenge is actually favored towards women, I would say. Taller, leaner, athletic women with long limbs. Like Candice. There's just no way to avoid favoring Ozzy in a challenge because he is an animal. He's going to be good at most, if not all, of the the challenges.

So people are on poles. Yul gives everybody a lesson on physics, which is funny. It could normally have gotten rolled eyes, but Yul manages to make everybody laugh. He's a smart cookie, I'm telling you. His punchline is that this is why elephants can't run up trees. Haha. Why was Keenyah trying to run up a tree? Oh, oops, wrong show, and that was mean.

Adam, Jonathan, and Nate fall off, showing that this isn't a challenge for beefy men. Then Sundra seems to lose her grip or something and jumps off. Yul is next, followed by Parvati. Then Becky falls off and hits the ground kinda hard. Ouch. That means Candice and Monkey Boy are left. Hmmm I wonder who's going to win. Not that this was obvious because it wasn't. I had faith that Ozzy would pull through, though. The man caught a bird with his bare hands. Figure that one out.

Basically, it starts to rain and Candice eventually falls off. Ozzy is the first individual immunity winner. Who knows, this could be the first of many individual wins for Ozzy.

Yul shows Jonathan the hidden immunity idol. This may have happened earlier, I'm not sure. Jonathan seems like he's pretty set on sticking with Aitu, then. It makes sense. Given the situation he's walked into, he's in more trouble if he doesn't stick with Aitu. So Jonathan decides to talk to Raro to see what page they're on. He quickly finds out that they're so stupid that they're not even on a page. They dismiss the possibility that Yul has the idol. Uh, then who has it? Candice doesn't. Jonathan doesn't. Adam doesn't. Uhhh. Stupids.

Jonathan is pretty much convinced by then. These Raro kids don't have a clue about the game they're supposedly playing. Jonathan tells Yul he wants Nate out first because Adam helped him when he mutinyed and he thinks he owes him. This is very interesting because Jonathan also proposed a white tribe re-alliance. This would mean the former Raro from the first go around will be four strong. The former Aitu only has one (Ozzy), the former Hiki only has one after tonight's vote (Sundra), and the former Puka has two (Yul and Becky). Hmmm. I find it a little interesting. Not that a white alliance is possible after Jonathan votes with Aitu, though.

At tribal, Jeff asks about who has the closest bond in the tribe and Becky points out Adam and Candice. Parvati says that Candice and Adam want to have babies together, which is something she's mentioned a couple times before. Then someone asks Becky what she's talking about because it appears she and Yul actually have the tightest alliance. Becky points out that she doesn't sit in Yul's lap all the time and Yul says he wishes she did. Actually he doesn't say that at all. Basically, Becky points out that she and Yul have a smart alliance and Candice and Adam have a stupid one. Which is so true.

Oh, by the way, the jury looks cleaned up but Jenny looks pissed as ever. Which is great. Jenny's always pissed about something.

The vote goes completely to the last vote. Nate is the fourth member of the jury and it's a glorious day. I actually saw this part live and was the most excited I've been since John Carroll was booted on Marquesas. It's been a long time coming. Nate is gone! He has some classy goodbye speech about how Jonathan is a worthless snake. He tells him to [insert Whitney Houston's classic line from Being Bobby Brown] "kiss my ass." Jonathan says no thanks. Now, I'm pretty sure Nate used the term "fruitcake" in his goodbye speech and I'm a little suspicious about Nate being homophobic after his strange confrontation with Brad about not swimming. To me, he seems like the type to use non-PC and totally disrespectful terms all the time. I don't like that. I don't like Nate.

Next week on Survivor:
Jonathan gets beat down for switching. Parvati gets really mad at him. Then Aitu is eating food by themselves and Candice gets all mad about not sharing. Can it, stupid. Go catch your own food. And then turn back time and don't mutiny on Aitu. Why would they care to go wake you up and tell you that there's food? Do something for yourself for a change. Nate isn't here to spin lies about people anymore. You need to start appreciating because your number's almost up.

Until next time..

Top Chef Episode 6

Last week on The Best Episode Ever:
The theme was leftovers. There was leftover parts of animals that most people don't use. There was leftover food and produce at Social Restaurant. There was leftover contestants that aren't good enough named Marisa and Josie. It was a great episode.

This week on Elia's Better When She's Crazy:
I watched this episode twice; once when it was already fifteen minutes in and once again from the top up until the point that I had started before. The first time around, I was really confused because I couldn't figure out how Ilan, Sam, and Cliff ended up on the same team. Then I couldn't figure out why they weren't cooking anything. It all cleared up by the end of the show, though.

So there's a bunch of talk in the women's living area about how quiet it is without Josie around to throw tantrums. Except they said it in a much more endearing way than I did. Nobody really says anything about Marisa, which is fitting because nobody cared then and still nobody cares now. Haha.

Also, everybody hates Marcel, except for Elia still. This is how I see it.. I never liked the guy. I called him Wolverine for awhile, but that's too long to type out. Here's the thing though.. too many people are projecting what they felt about Stephen from last season onto Marcel. He is in no way as obnoxious as Stephen. Probably mainly because Marcel isn't good at anything. Stephen would win challenges and then smirk and smarm about how exquisite his food was. Marcel isn't as irritating for me.. mostly just funny because he's this small dude that everybody hates. He's annoying, but not offensive. I just find his interactions with people such as Betty and Frank to be hilarious. Anyway, moving on..

The overly animated Padma Lakshmi appears and announces that this week's Quickfire involves making a dish using at least three canned goods in fifteen minutes. There's a lot of running around and freaking out because I bet ten of those fifteen minutes would be taken up by opening cans and heating food. Mia smartly makes a salad, which gives her more preparation time. Since Marisa is gone, I can't rip on her food, but I will say her dish probably would've sucked. Haha. I really didn't like her.

So Tom Colicchio is the guest judge for this Quickfire. That has to make one wonder. Something had to be going on. The chefs seem more nervous than curious, though. After tasting all of the food, Tom asks several people to switch where they're standing and we're left with Sam, Ilan, Cliff, Mia, and Frank on one side and Betty, Elia, Marcel, Michael, and Carlos on the other side. Anytime there's any sort of grouping involved, if Sam, Ilan, and Cliff are all in one group, it means tough luck for whoever's in the other group.

Tom announces that the winner is Sam. Everybody is excited and Mia confessionals about how she really wish she would have won. Then, thank you Captain Obvious Editors, Tom says Mia has also won. And so has Cliff, Ilan, and Frank. They're all excited and the other five are either confused, disappointed, or livid (Elia).

The five winners are told that their only task for this round will be to donate some canned goods to the local food bank. The five losers will have to cook a Thanksgiving Dinner with a twist. This is spelling disaster in my mind. Meanwhile, Elia is furious about the result of the Quickfire. She said she tasted Cliff's dish and had to spit it back out. I don't know what she thinks happened.. that some sort of Top Chef politics came into play? Anyway, at this point, she couldn't care less.

Then we have the losers trying to come up with a menu. I liked Betty a lot at the beginning and she's started to get on my nerves as the weeks have gone on and she's gotten worse. Betty decides that since Josie is gone, she will take over the role of being extremely loud and bossy. She wants everything on the menu her way and there's a lot of yabbering and finally Carlos decides that whoever has the pepper mill will be the only one who can talk. Of course Betty grabs the pepper mill and starts yapping again. Michael at one point suggests a turkey, chicken, duck (?) lasagna, but everybody says no. There's bickering and yelling and finally they have some sort of menu set out.

While the losers go shopping, the winners go to the food bank. Mia tells us that her family was once homeless when she was young and so she really understands the importance of giving to the food bank and it means a lot for her to be able to do this. And you know what? That's awesome. I hate that someone has to tell a story like that for me to believe that they actually care and understand the meaning of the service they're giving, but it's come to that. I'm glad Mia got to do this and have the day off. She's cool.

Meanwhile, four losers have gone to that Oats-something grocery store and one livid, couldn't-care-less Elia has gone to the hardware store or something.

So for some reason, the five losers have to cook at the lofts that they are staying at. There's a kitchen in both the men's loft and the women's loft. The women have their kitchen space pretty clean and tidy while Frank has put his toiletries in the men's kitchen space and there's other assorted nasties as well. Michael and Marcel are in the men's loft and they move all of the junk so they can work. This involves moving Frank's toiletries. It's pretty quiet and serious in the men's loft. They begin working.

Meanwhile, in the women's loft, Elia still couldn't care less. Although she's making a mushroom soup for the meal, she's mixing a bowl of melted chocolate for some reason. She proceeds to smear chocolate all over her face and throws some at Betty. Pretty soon, it's obvious there's no work to be done anytime soon. It's kinda funny. I like Elia crazy. When she's serious, there's some dry humor to her, but when she's crazy, she's much funnier.

At some point, the five winners (or shall I say the four winners and Frank) come back and find that in the men's loft, crap that doesn't belong in the kitchen has been moved from the kitchen to somewhere else. Apparently this is an issue and Michael and Marcel should've just worked around the crap. There's a bit of condescending talk going around, which I hate. Just because you won the Quickfire does not make you the best person ever, especially if four other people also won. Frank, if you left you toiletries in the kitchen, why wouldn't they move it if they had to, you know, use the kitchen? Frank wags his finger at Marcel about how he wants to beat him to a pulp so his mother won't recognize him.

Now, at this point, I am on Marcel's side, which is an unfortunate place to be, but it's true. First of all, I hate it when people are inconsiderate of others and just leave their crap wherever they want (like that bulimic chick from Top Model Cycle 3.. Cassie). I hate it when they then proceed to blow a fuse when people move their crap so that the living space can be functional. If you put your stuff where it belonged in the first place, nobody would have needed to move it. Idiot. It's like do it once and do it right. It's a waste of time to have to do something twice when you could have done it once.

Anyway, Tom comes into the loft to make sure Betty isn't adding special sauce to her dish that will give her an unfair advantage. Elia asks him what he liked about Cliff's dish and Tom explains and Elia realizes there were no Top Chef politics going on and she and Tom must have different palates. If I remember correctly, in the first challenge, Elia disagreed with everybody on which dishes were the best and which were the worst. That is evidence enough to me that she has a different palate than others. Anyway, Elia decides to become focused now that she knows Tom was judging honestly.

So there's a lot of cooking and not much paying attention (on my part) and then we have the judges, the five winners, and guest judges Anthony Bourdain at a table sitting all cozy and family style. The losers have to serve to the winners. That's funny. Almost as funny as whatever the winners were laughing at during the entire time we are shown of them before the food arrives. Anthony Bourdain wants to smash the hopes and dreams of the future top chefs. Just my type of guy.

Michael brings out the first of many unnecessary courses. This one seems to be kinda tasty, though. It's a canape.. an egg canape? I imagine there's turkey in it. Okay, I just rewatched that part of the show.. it is indeed a turkey and egg toast canape. Everybody comments positively.

Next is Carlos, who has made it apparent that he wants to stay in the middle. He doesn't want to stand out positively nor negatively in this game. I remember this was mentioned a few episodes ago by somebody else. Stupid idea. Remember Josie? She was comfortably in the middle until a twist of a challenge paired her up with Marisa, trainwreck central. She went from comfortably in the middle to comfortably sitting on her couch at home. Some strategy. Also, some foreshadowing. Hmmm I wonder who's going home. And, uh, Carlos? Wouldn't it be more comfortable to not have to cook this episode?

Speaking of not having to cook. I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, because this recap has been in the works for awhile and now I am back at my school-home and cannot remember what I've talked about and am not interested in going back through what I have already written. Anyway, I don't like this whole "five people get to nothing" business. I don't get why they did it. They could've spread out cooking time and had those canned goods delivered and still have more of an exciting episode going. I would have rather seen everybody cooking than just five fools who can't start a fire. I think it would have been much more exciting having the five winners on a team, not necessarily calling them winners, and the five losers on a team, and I don't care if they're called losers. That would give the "winners" an obvious advantage, except Frank probably would have found a way to screw it up and include some shrooms dish. That would have made for an interesting uphill battle. Just my opinion.

So Carlos made a salad. It's technically the first course since Michael's canape was an amuse bouche a la vending machinegate of two episodes ago. This is Carlos' excuse of a dish. Four hours and he made a salad that looks disgusting. It has stuff like pumpkin seeds, butternut squash dressing, peppers, and what looks like bacon on top. Ewww. Nobody gets it. Nobody likes it.

Next is Elia's Portobello and Button Mushroom Creme Soup. She mentions that it's her first Thanksgiving, which I don't necessarily buy, because she's been cooking long enough to have made or had a Thanksgiving meal before. Not that I care, or it matters at all. I think she's funny. Also, this sounds sooo good. I love mushrooms and a mushroom creme soup sounds so good right about now. Everybody thinks it's pretty good, but I'm sure they're thinking what I was thinking: how is this Thanksgiving with a twist? It's more of a Sunday at 1:30pm late lunch kind of dish for me. It's what you make after waking up way too late on a Sunday. I would still eat that anyday, though.

Now we have good ole Marcel, Mr. Avant Garde Gastronomy. He's made a turkey roulade with stuffing. There's also a cranberry gelee with cranberry foam. Haha, foam. This looks much more fine-dining-esque, which is what the challenge was really about. The winners at the table talk about how the turkey is too cry, there's too much cranberry, etc. Frank basically says he hates Marcel. Then Padma chimes in that she doesn't mind it. That's what they asked for, and he's the first one to really put in a twist. Anthony Bourdain doesn't like the dish per ce, but likes that Marcel has balls.

Next is Michael's second dish, a twice-baked potato with shrimp, a mashed something potato and corn, I think. Most people look either shocked or disgusted, which is funny. Anthony Bourdain says Michael's broken every cooking basic ever, with his bland white non-fine dining. He asks Tom what kind of crackhouse he's running and Tom cracks up unlike the highly edited preview we were shown of him looking worried and "sweating." Mia then says that she's enjoying the twice-baked potato more than the roulade. Which is either another jab at Marcel or the honest truth spoken from a woman of southern cuisine.

Then we have Betty's Chai Pumpkin Creme Brulee and Chocolate Hazelnut Creme Brulee. We see a little bit from prep where Marcel tries to help Betty torch her creme brulees, which have ginger on top. The ginger starts to burn, so they take it off. Which was probably a good thing because I cannot see any way the ginger would have helped. The entire dessert would have tasted strongly of burnt ginger. We then see Elia try to help with the creme brulee as well. Everybody thinks it sucks. Tom says that a custard with sugar on top doesn't mean it's a brulee. Well, I'm sure that's correct, but the way Betty made it, it does look like a creme brulee. Anthony Bourdain says the whole meal was a failure of the imagination.

Then, Michael walks in with a sixth platter, a cheese dish. He pretty much has arranged several types of cheese on a dish. Everybody agrees that they like cheese, but why are they eating it now?

At judging, everybody is frustrated. They don't like Carlos' salad because it's lame and isn't good. They liked Elia's soup even though it wasn't creative. Marcel's dish was creative and looked good. Unfortunately, it seems that it didn't taste that great. Betty's brulee was bad. Michael was ridiculous. Anthony Bourdain calls Michael the lovechild of Betty Crocker and Charles Manson.

Basically, Elia and Marcel are the two better dishes. Elia wins, which is both ironic and hilarious. Now, I don't know if this was edited, but Tom doesn't appear to mention his conversation earlier with Elia about the Quickfire results. He could have easily used it against her. Fortunately, what I like about Tom seemed to come through. He respects all of the chefs in this competition and treats them, in a way, like his peers. Unless there are major consequences to something that happens outside of the judging room, it doesn't get mentioned.

There's a lot of talk about how ridiculous Michael is, but Anthony Bourdain kinda respects him for serving dishes that were totally opposite of what they asked for. At some point, everybody is asked who should go home and Betty gets catty. First she says she doesn't want to say. Then she says Marcel should go home because she doesn't like him. Finally, she settles on Carlos because he only made a salad. All of this is a bit childish because we don't care what people's feelings are towards other chefs.. it's all about the food. I thought Betty was sticking her foot in her mouth. However, most of everybody else chooses Carlos as the worst.

There is a yelling match between Betty and Marcel while they're waiting for results, and I'm not going to go through it because it's pretty childish and catty and I'm so over it. Carlos is sent to pack up his knives and go. When he says goodbye to the rest of the crew, he tells them to "Break and egg!" Which I think is awesome. Bye, Carlos. You were slightly useless sometimes and had a horrible strategy. However, you weren't overly obnoxious, so it's too bad you're going before Frank and Michael.

Next time on Top Chef:
They have to create a mouth-watering, filling entree. But there's a catch. I'm thinking they have to catch what they cook with? Like they have to go fishing and getting lobster traps and stuff? There's a "catch"? I don't know. I'm grasping at straws. These previews are so heavily edited, who really knows.

Until next time..

America's Next Top Model Episode 11

Last week on Bye Bye Little Boy:
Caridee won the acting challenge. The girls went to Barcelona. A male Spanish model did not like black women and told Jaeda as much. Caridee bombed the commercial, as did Jaeda. The two were in the bottom and Jaeda was sent home because Caridee is the future winner. Duh!

This week on Someone Really Has A Stick Up His Ass:
I missed the first five minutes of the show because I am currently at home-home, not school-home, and I have to make an effort to see friends who I haven't seen in months. This means I had to speed off at 7:55 to a friend's house to watch ANTM. Sad, but true. I even brought my notepad to take notes.

I have to say, I actually missed Jaeda this episode. She was funny. She brought something, I don't know what, to the show. Now it's gone and I definitely noticed. I had to mention it because it's so shocking. I miss.. Jaeda!? It happens.

When I arrived, the girls were in some strange room with some strange woman.. oh, that was Tyra. They were having a confessional-style Tyra chat. Tyra said a bunch of crap that I didn't catch because my friend was talking to me. They talk about how important it is to be headstrong or something.

TyraMail says something about who will go and who will stay. It basically tells us that it's go-see time! Yay! They have to get back by 6:00 pm or else they're disqualified. This should show us who has seen previous seasons, right? You HAVE to, HAVE to be on time.

Eugena and Caridee stick together. You know, ever since they arrived in Spain, I've begun to dislike Eugena less and less. This is probably because she'll be the third place finisher and it's a hint that she'll be around for awhile.

The twins surprisingly stick together as well. Shocker.

Melrose is by herself because she's the little engine that could. Or something.

There are various shots of some of the girls at go-sees doing their walks and etc. Caridee is berated for wearing a necklace. She should be a blank palate or something. Sweet.

The twins are lost. Completely lost. I don't know who the preview teaser was referring to throwing a tantrum, but I imagine it's the twins. At some point, Melrose has been to 3 places, Eugena and Caridee have been to 2 and the twins haven't been anywhere. Sad but true. Mostly sad because guess who will win a challenge again? How was I not surprised?

It took the twins an hour to find their first place and they take time outside fixing themselves up. Michelle goes first and she totally has a dead arm. Like the entire arm is hunched up and just so dead. Amanda is next and is said to have been better than her sister.

We see the girls as time is winding down and Cari, Eugena, and Melrose show up just in time. No surprise there. The twins are disqualified for being late and have to leave. The results are revealed and the only criticism I really caught was that Eugena has no personality. Haha. I'm shocked.

So Smelly wins again, for the 85th time. She picks Caridee because, well, there's really no other choices. Melrose doesn't like anybody left and nobody left likes Melrose. They get a gourmet dinner at their place. Eugena does her whole "I'm not upset I didn't win because that reward sucked" spiel. She's done this before and it's kinda funny. She's like being nosy trying to see what they're eating and then saying how disgusting the fish smells. Can it, woman.

TyraMail tells them something about bulls. I didn't catch it.

They arrive at a bull pen/rink/thing. Mr. Jay comes out looking ridiculous again. What are your pants, Mr. Jay? The bull comes out and then the other bull comes out. Nigel is their photographer this week.

Controversy of the week: Nigel is holding the stick that the girls will be modeling with. Caridee makes a comment about how Nigel pulled that stick out of his ass. I thought it was a funny comment. I can see how rude it was. It was rude. However, I think it was blown so out of proportion. Like whatever, really. I understand.. respect your superiors, blah blah. Nigel really does have a stick up his ass, though. Whatever.

Mr. Jay actually lectures them about being kind and stuff. Caridee immediately realized she screwed up and proceeds to semi-melt-down and looks distraught for the rest of the episode.

We see Eugena, who does some interesting poses. Amanda is awkward. At one point, the bull charges, and that messes with Amanda's game for the rest of the shoot. The twins have a tiff because Amanda doesn't want to talk about how she sucked and doesn't really want to give Michelle pointers either. Michelle does better than Amanda. Melrose isn't the star this time and it's great. She looks crazy. I've said it before.. girl looks psycho in some of her shots. Could those eyes please bug out more? Then Cari is totally a pin-up girl.

At judging, the picture shown of Tyra at the beginning is her dressed up as a bull. It's great. Then there's Miss Jay who looks like a bull today. He has sculpted his hair all bull-ish. And I didn't notice this until later, but what is Twiggy wearing on her head?! Hahaha. Oh, Twiggy.

The judging test is for every girl to say who has the most potential and who has the least. This is actually a test to see who watched the previous seasons. Recall season 4 when nobody said themselves for who had the most potential. The Miss Fabulous Brittany Brower joked about picking herself, but then chose someone else. Not this season, though. Good models study their Top Model history.

Melrose says of course she has the most potential. Her reason I don't remember, but it probably had to do with how she's fabulous. She says Eugena has the least potential.

Eugena says that she has the most potential because Top Model is a journey. She says Amanda has the least because.. well, because it's true.

Cari says of course she'll choose herself and that she agrees that Amanda has the least potential. I was so worried this entire time. Everything Caridee did I gritted my teeth to. I was really scared she was going.

Amanda then says she won't choose herself for most potential because she's not like that or something. Basically, didn't watch season 4. She says Caridee has the least potential because she's seen it before, it's been done. Hmmm. Wrong.

Michelle says Cari has the most potential because Cari's hott. She then proceeds to shove her foot in her mouth by saying she doesn't know who has the least potential because sometimes she thinks that's her. She sees girls here who really want it and she just doesn't have that same drive. She mentions that Brooke really wanted it and it sucked to see her so upset when she had to leave. It's true. Thanks for mentioning Brooke. I love Brooke. She was my faux-favorite until she left. She was the one I liked the most but knew would most likely not win. She was my Lluvy, my Furonda, my Norelle, my Jenascia. Caridee was my hardcore favorite after Brookie left. If you haven't yet, please check out http://antpodcast.blogspot.com for their awesome Brooke interview.

The judges like Smelly's photo, but they really like Eugena's. Tyra obsesses about Eugena's pose because Tyra could never do it. Not now with all those baked bean burritos, but not even back when she was superfly. Miss Jay just obsesses about how Eugena looks like him, or at least the picture from season 5 when he was chasing the girls in the treadmill photoshoot. They say Amanda's second guessing herself and the photo isn't great. Her face is shadowed in it. I don't like it either.

Then Caridee comes up with a letter written on a piece of lined paper. She reads off her thoughts about basically how sorry she is about what she said to Nigel. I really wish she would've just said what she felt instead of reading something she wrote beforehand. Either way, she's trying to right the wrong from earlier. Tyra says she heard about what happened and either the other judges didn't or they don't care. They don't really dwell on it too much. Personally, I think Miss Jay and Twiggy were sitting there thinking, "he totally has a stick up his ass." Haha. I hope.

In panel discussion, Tyra mentions that Michelle may have sacrificed herself for her sister because she knows Amanda wants it more even though Michelle is more naturally talented. This is the first intriguing thing Tyra's brought up in a long time, so I paid attention when I heard it. It's entirely possible and a very twin-like thing to do. Michelle totally threw herself under a bus during the judging test.

My friend and I had a bet.. not a real one, unfortunately.. on who would be called first. I said definitely Eugena because Tyra obsessed over how flexible she was. My friend said Melrose because they love her. I was right. Then they called Smelly. All the while, Caridee is fidgeting, looking restless and totally distraught. I am pretty much in the same state. Then, as a total shock of the century, they call Caridee third. Amazing. I was so relieved and so happy. First because Cari is safe and second because I've been waiting all season for the twins to be in the bottom 2 together.

My friend and I were chanting for the twins to be eliminated together and I really thought it might happen. However, Michelle is sent home because Tyra says passion is more important than good pictures. Is this why the winners never become actual models? Hmmm.

Michelle hopes this will fuel Amanda to really reach her potential. I think Amanda will shrink inwardly even more without her sister and will follow her exit next week.

Next week on Breakdown! Breakdown! Breakdown! :
There's dancing involved in the challenge. Smellrose breaks down when she's criticized and is not the best of the day. This is great. Then Caridee freezes in the pool during their photoshoot. Minor details. Maybe they're pulling another Danielle "look how brave I am, coming back from being sick and stuff." When did she go from being Danielle to being Dani? I missed that memo. Anyway, I say Amanda's going home. Caridee and Melrose are pretty much ensured spots in the finals and Eugena has to be there by default.

Until next time..

The Amazing Race Episode 10

Last week on The Barbies are the Best All-Female Team Ever:
Teams traveled to Finland where Tyler and James and the Barbies lead the way throughout the entire leg. Rob and Kimberly missed a train by approximately 5 seconds and then proceeded to suck at life. The episode ended in a TBC as the models were almost done making their way down the tower, the Barbies were about to begin their rappel, and the other three teams were running around aimlessly.

This week on The Chos Have No Backbone:
Tyler and James make their way down the tower face first and receive their next clue that has some money and a note to continue on because the leg was not over yet. The next clue told them to go to the capital city of the country where Chernobyl is located. I immediately screamed "KIEV!" because that's one of the places I would love to go to.

The Barbies make their way down the tower and also get the next clue. They race off just behind the models. Meanwhile, the last three teams are running around like turkeys with their heads cut off. (Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!) They eventually all make it into the office to get their clue, but then run off towards the stadium in search of the rappel site. Alabama figures out to go up in the elevator first, followed by Rob/Kim, and lastly the Chos. This begins some major foreshadowing that lasts throughout this episode regarding Bama/Cho tension.

Everybody heads off to the airport. Rob is positive that Chernobyl is in Russia. Kim questions him and although he's the one who's wrong, he ends up making her look like a fool once again. This happened in episode 1 with the Thrifty parking situation, if you remember. I think it's funny.

At the airport, the models and Barbies are able to get tickets with an agent right before everything shut down for the night. They are on a flight that goes through Vienna and lands in Kiev at 1:35 the next afternoon. The back three teams arrive to find out they cannot purchase tickets until the next morning.

Come the next morning, the flight that the lead teams are on is sold out. The other three teams get a flight that connects through Warsaw and also lands in Kiev at 1:35 pm. Interesting. Somebody, maybe a Barbie, mentions that flights get delayed. This usually is used by the editors to make fun of whoever is talking. However, we are shown next that it is in fact the Warsaw connection that is delayed half an hour, putting the three teams originally in the back.. back in the back again. Haha.

The next clue has teams going to a Ukrainian military base, although the given address is gibberish to the teams. The models and Barbies get a taxi to lead them there and arrive with no setbacks.

They find a Roadblock. One team member would have to drive a tank through a military obstacle course. That's awesome. Surprisingly, Dennis and Andrew are nowhere to be found. Maybe they finally finished their FF from season 3. No way! Anyway, James and Dustin do the roadblock for their teams.

We see several shots of the two neck and neck on the course and then James stalls and Dustin pulls ahead. We also see James get covered in muddy water. Dustin makes it out of there clean, maybe even cleaner, as when she got there. Which is awesome. The Barbies always manage to stay fifty times cleaner than the models. Haha.

When they finish, teams find out they have to find apartment 33 somewhere in Kiev. Rob and Kimberly arrive next and Kimberly takes the RB. She goes through the obstacle course with no problems, I think. They head off and our lovely backpack "alliance" arrives. The Chos finish before Bama but elect to wait for Bama because they cannot do anything on their own. This is stupid. We all know it. Even Mama Cho is at home yelling at the TV for them to get a move on. Also, Godwin dirty in this task and Lyn makes it out clean. Karlyn asks her why she's clean and Lyn says probably because she was driving like a granny. See, I think Lyn is the much much more pleasant Bama team member. If she was here with someone else, I think I may like this team more. Unfortunately, she has Karlyn, the whiny woman of few smiles, as her partner.

So here begins the ridiculously agonizing montage of Chos/Bama driving and stopping every five minutes to get or confirm their directions. This is mainly because the Chos have no confidence, Erwin especially. Bama gets fed up and Karlyn wants to ditch the Chos. Lyn, however, wants to be nice back to those who were nice to her. Unfortunately, in this situation, I agree with Karlyn 100 percent. However, in the dispute, no matter what she says, I cannot bring myself to be on her side.

Rob and Kimberly at some point have car troubles. This usually means the team in trouble is passed by all other teams behind them and then proceed to mope and cry. In this case, Cho/Bama are so dysfunctional and useless that Rob/Kimberly maintain their third place spot. It's amazing, especially since those three teams were all on the same flight. They could not have been that far apart going to the RB. Suddenly, Cho/Bama seem to have fallen days behind. Stupid.

The models and Barbies find the apartment and discover the Detour. Teams have to choose between Make the Music and Find the Music. Once again, they've really run out of catchy rhyming choices, huh. In Make the Music, teams have to compose a rap about the race, using the names of all of the countries they've been to thus far. They have to don complete head-to-toe thugged out gear and rap to an audience of Kiev's underground hip hop movement participants. It's an amazing detour choice. Barbies choose it. In Find the Music, teams have to find a sheet of music for Tchaikovsky's Concert Fantasy for Piano and Orchestra. Once they have found this, they will have to search for a pianist in the conservatory's many practice rooms, who will play the piece for them and then give them their clue. This choice is not only find a needle in a haystack once, but basically find a needle in a haystack twice. For some reason, Tyler and James choose this option.

Now, the Barbies make probably their only mistake this leg. Instead of writing their rap while driving to the hip hop place, they just kind of come up with the first line and then write the rest once they're suited up. They should have used the time in the car like the later teams did.

We see the Barbies in gear and it's funny and sweet. They do as good of a job as is really possible, really putting themselves out there to look like fools. It's nice and they have fun and are entertaining, so they get their clue.

Tyler and James seem to find the sheet music fairly quickly and then find a pianist without too much trouble. They also get their clue and head off.

The models and Barbies are in a race to the pitstop. The models want to win because this would prevent the Barbies from winning three in a row. Would that have been a record or did Colin and Christie win three in a row on their race? There was that one time they had that flight that was like a hundred hours before everybody else's. I hear they're going to be on TAR All-Stars. Not that I was a Colin and Christie fan. It's just really hard to not admit that they were some of the best racers this show has had.

Anyway, so the models and Barbies are racing up and it's.. the models! Tyler and James, you are team number 1. You win a trip to somewhere that you can enjoy after the race. Sweet. The Barbies arrive next and are team number 2.

Rob and Kimberly elect to do Make the Music and Kimberly writes up something that rhymes, which she figures is good enough. We see them rapping and Kimberly looks so not enthused, but they seem to have a good time and do fine. They get their clue and leave. They are obviously team number 3.

Then we have Trainwreck Central. Yes, I love the term Trainwreck. Just because it describes so many reality TV contestants. And because just like actual trainwrecks, they're both horrifying to watch and impossible not to. Anyway, so Trainwreck Central. Erwin gets out of the car every five seconds to check their directions on route to apartment 33. Finally, Bama gets so fed up that they speed off. Funny thing is, the Chos tail Bama all the way to the next clue. Wouldn't it have been more efficient to let Bama lead? Hmmm. Idiots.

There's some talk amongst the Chos about how they're nice and stuff but Bama's willing to play dirty. Get off this show and go join the circus. You can be nice there, but this here is a race, kids. A race! Who would've thought..

Bama chooses to Make the Music and Chos choose to follow Bama. When they lose them, they choose to do Find the Music because most people don't know where the hip hop place is but know where the conservatory is. Karlyn writes up a rap on the way to the detour location. If the Chos did this one, I guarantee they would not have come up with two lines before arriving at the hip hop place, all confused.

Bama performs their rap and actually cheats their way through it. While the other two who chose this detour seemed to talk about all of the locations that they went to, Bama listed all of the countries quickly and then talked about how they would spend the money. The crowd seemed to think this was the best rap ever, though, probably because these were the only two black people who had performed for them ever. We know they're racist.. remember the dude who told Jaeda he didn't like black chicks? No, I'm not actually saying they were racist. I just wish it was pointed out that Bama took the easy way out. Whatever. I just don't like Bama. And this is huge because I liked them pre-show. As seen with BB6 and Ivette, it takes a lot before I will admit my pre-show favorites suck. I went maybe a month before admitting that Ivette was horrible.

At some point, Chos arrive at their detour option and their performance is glazed over, so we really don't know how long they took. They race towards the pitstop. There's a lot of faux anticipation building, but we all know Bama will arrive next. I'm actually happy because the Chos are pitiful. Horrendous.

Bama is team number 4. Chos arrive at night, two weeks later or something. They may or may not talk about being honorable again. I don't care because I will address it now anyway. Here's the deal. The Chos are not honorable people. This is how they roll: they don't care how far behind they are as long as there's another weaker team with them. They travel with the weaker team the entire leg. If they are one of the last teams, they know they will outrun the other team. This is dirty, dirty playing. Don't try to appear like saints. Don't. You're only upset because all of a sudden you have to play this game by yourself. You have to make your decisions and all of the credit as well as all of the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. Good riddance. These fools should have been gone episode 1 when they were last at the roadblock.

Next week on The Amazing Race:
I haven't seen the preview, but I imagine it's a NEL? Maybe not, though.. I'm lost on the timeline for this season. If the finale is in three weeks, there's definitely a NEL. If not, there still may be. We don't know how many teams will be left on finale night. I won't say who I think is going home because I don't want to jinx the Barbies. They're the first headstrong independent all-female team and they really deserve a shot at this. They're of the winner caliber. We'll see.

Until next time..

Survivor Episode 10

Last week on Jonathan is an Idiot and Aitu Hates Candice:
Candice and Jonathan chose to mutiny and switch over to Raro, thus sealing Raro's fate of never winning again. Aitu was furious at the two idiots and fueled their anger into two challenge wins. They sent Candice to Exile and then the entire Raro tribe to Tribal Council, where Brad was voted off and became the first member of the jury.

This week on Raro Sucks Balls:
In the little segment that they now have before the intro music, there's a disgusting scene with Candice and Adam kissing in the shelter. Disgusting because first of all, they're filthy and smelly. Also because I chose to watch Survivor, not the Bachelor. Not that either of them would make it on Bachelor anyway.

Before the Reward Challenge, tribes are given a slab with nautical flags to memorize. Each flag corresponds to a letter and we see Aitu quizzing each other. They seem to know their flags very well because we see Ozzy describing one and then naming the letter. In this reward challenge, tribes have to split into two pairs that have to take turns each finding the correct coordinates with a compass to dig up a burried treasure chest. Aitu has Yul and Sundra together and Ozzy and Becky. Raro has Candice with Adam and Jonathan with Jenny. This is stupid because Adam and Candice will not be able to focus well together.

Jeff gives each team their first coordinates and they're off. Right away, Jonathan and the rest of the team have a dispute over what the correct coordinates are that Jeff just told them. Aitu gets their first chest quickly and soon they're ahead of Raro. The teams proceed to demonstrate why Aitu is doing so much better than Raro. Aitu sits there patiently encouraging each other while Raro moans, bitters, and whines. At one point, Adam and Candice are bringing a chest back and Jenny and Jonathan run off before the other pair touches the mat and Jeff calls them on a technicality. Jenny and Jonathan have to run back to the mat and then run toward the compass. It's a giant waste of time and really funny.

Aitu gets all four treasure chests and starts untying them. They work extremely efficiently and quickly spell out "Victory" with the nautical flag symbols. Aitu wins reward! Their reward is to be sent out to join locals (or paid actors who look ethnic) in a feast and celebrations.

This is where Becky has her first confessional ever. It's a turning point in the game, I'm telling you. She describes what they see as they arrive to the village. A big regal-like man greets them by chanting/yelling and they just stand there waiting to see what will happen. What does happen is they are each carried on these bamboo (?) chairs by locals and brought to a feasting area. All the while they are chanting/singing and Aitu members are clapping along.

They're given food to each and the girls start dancing with the locals, which is cute. Then two rather plump ladies grab Yul and sandwich him between them as they dance. It's the best moment ever. When he's free, Yul kinda hides, curled up on the ground, trying to avoid being attacked again. Everybody thinks it's hilarious, especially those two ladies.

We see them eating, having fun, and we see Becky kiss a local child on the head, which is very cute. Okay, here's my theory on Becky, and why/how she's misunderstood on this show. My impression of her is that she's a very thoughtful, very intelligent girl. She's a girl of few words, but you can always see on her face that she's thinking. Some of these other people (Adam, Nate) have blank looks on their faces and you know the only thoughts they have are "Duh..." Becky is not very animated or talkative so she's not shown very often, but I can guarantee the five words that come out of her mouth per every hundred that come out of Nate's mouth.. Becky's five words speak volumes while Nate's hundred are just filling air.

Oh, so Aitu sent Candice to Exile again, which is wonderful. When Jeff asks them, they all say Candice on the count of three. Excellent. All we really see of Candice on Exile is her being sad and lonely. "It's hard to see that people who you like want to see you suffer." Well, Candice, it's also hard to see people that you liked jump ship and abandon your team.

Back at Raro camp, Jonathan has caught like twenty fish and attached them to the front of his pants. It's a rather disturbing sight, but he doesn't seem to notice as he comes back to camp all excited, pulling fish left and right out of his pants. He says this is proof that he's a worthy part of the tribe. Which, with Raro's way of reasoning things, seems like a good enough reason to keep him around. Oh, and by the way, the entire episode, Rebecca looks like she could care less about being there.

Before the Immunity Challenge, tribes are given treemail that has a big map of the islands that encompass the area of the Cook Islands. Raro figures out that maybe they should memorize them. Hmmm. Parvati tries to teach them to Rebecca. And Rebecca? Could care less. Haha. Oh, I'll talk about Parvati later. I think she's hilarious.

The IC involves four members taking turns swimming out to a box in the water, diving down, and unclipping tiles. After all four have done so, they will have to use the tiles to match up with islands on a map. Once they've matched all correctly, that team wins immunity.

Raro has Nate, Jonathan, Parvati, and Rebecca. Who decided to sit out Rebecca last challenge? Don't sit her out if the challenge doesn't involve water. Chances are the next challenge might. Idiots. Had they sat out Candice, she would have been able to do this challenge. Who are the two best female swimmers? Parvati and Candice. With Candice in this challenge, Raro would have been able to get their four bundles of tiles before Aitu, I'm certain. However, Candice would not have seen the treemail map and therefore would not have been able to help with the final part of the challenge.

Anyway, Ozzy and Yul help Aitu pull ahead. Becky and Sundra both give it their all, but are significantly slower than Parvati is. Parvati catches Raro up a bit and then Rebecca gives it a try as well and doesn't do horribly. However, the little time extra that Aitu had allows them to finish the puzzle before Raro's really been able to look at the map for more than a few seconds. Aitu wins immunity!

At the beginning of the challenge, Jeff announced that whichever tribe (named Raro) lost would have to take back with them a bottle with a note in it. They had to keep the bottle sealed until after the tribal council vote. Raro takes it back to camp with them and there's a lot of stupid guesses about what the note would say. Various idiots mention a buffet, a merge, individual immunity but no merge, a merge but no individual immunity.. you know, stuff that makes no sense. Parvati mentions it's going to be something bad or else they would have given it to the winning tribe. Bingo! That's right, Parvati. Exactly. The rest of the tribe looks confused.

Here's my theory (and many others believe it as well) about Parvati. She's much more intelligent than she lets on. She's smart enough to know what cards to play. I would dare to say she is one of the players currently who have the most control in the game. Someone on a forum called her an enigma, and that's exactly it. She knows what she's doing and nobody else does. She's never the reason they lose and she's never been a target. At first I thought maybe nobody mentioned her name because they couldn't figure out how to say it, but at this point, nobody says it because there's no reason to. I think she's brilliant. I also think she will be the one to mastermind Adam's departure. She knows there's no use to Jonathan's "all-white alliance" plan if Adam and Candice are so tight. She doesn't want to ride in the back seat; she wants to be the driver. I have faith that she will go far.

So they discuss getting rid of Rebecca because she hasn't done anything at camp or at the challenges and she couldn't care less. Adam mentions to Candice that after that, Jenny needs to go because she's a threat. Also, at the RC, when Aitu was told that Brad was voted off, Yul blantly showed his disappointment. If Raro picked that up, they would know that Yul and Becky would be interested in joining up with Jenny once they merged.

So at tribal, Brad shows up in the jury, all dressed up. Everybody laughs in a friendly way when they see him all groomed and nice looking. Brad looks like he holds no grudges and is just there to have fun. The first vote is done and Rebecca is voted off pretty unanimously. She waves and is gone. There is no goodbye speech of her. I wondered if maybe she would be brought back next episode. Just an off-the-wall idea. It would be quite a twist is she was brought back to join Aitu next week. Hmmm..

Then Parvati the Enigma opens the bottle and read the note. They have to vote off another person. Most of the people look stressed out and worried and Parvati just kinda looks like, "Well shit. That sucks." Hahaha. This girl is running the game, I tell you. If she doesn't try to work with Aitu when they merge, it'll be a shame.

The next person to be voted off is Jenny and she's pissed. She had no chance to strategize and she says she would have made sure of her own safety if she'd known she would be in danger. Well, life sucks when you agree to vote off the people you should be aligned with, huh? That's too bad because if Rebecca and Jenny had tried to align with Aitu post-merge, it would have made for an interesting game. Unfortunately, we're stuck with Adam and Candice, power-alliance couple. Boo.

Next week on The Hidden Immunity Idol Gets A Mention:
Yul tells Ozzy they might be able to turn this game upside down. I hope Yul has the balls to use the HII unlike Terry, the non-strategist, who was too scared to use it on anybody but himself. If Yul is able to turn the beat around (haha), he can successfully get his Aitu 4 to the final four. I hope this turns out good. If Aitu is picked off one at a time, this show will get very boring, very fast. I somehow don't see Yul letting Becky get voted off. I think he would use the HII on her. It would be a risk, but totally worth it. We'll see.

Until next time..

America's Next Top Model Episode 10

Image of the week:


Last week on Anchal is a Trainwreck:
As a sidenote, everytime I try to type "Anchal," I end up first typing "Anchael" and then having to go back and fix it. It's like I always type "Padmas." Like my hands think I'm trying to type Michael and Christmas. Anway, so Anchal was a trainwreck. Melrose found a way to win the challenge without actually winning it. Caridee was great at hiding dizzily. Anchal ran out of the room. Tyra hates Eugena. So do I. Anchal got sent home.

This week on Models Make Great Actresses:
It appears this entry will be filled with sidenotes. We might as well begin with one. I have been watching Veronica Mars. I started watching the first season no more than a week and a half ago. I am currently on episode 16 of the second season. And nothing made me happier than when Naima and Kim appeared for their guest roles. I can't wait for Furonda to show up. Awww I miss Furonda.

So today as I was driving to the dentist, I was listening to my favorite local radio station for the first time in two months, the last time being before I went back to school (in California). So apparently Tyra was just on the early morning show and the clip that they keep playing of her is when they asked her what's her favorite question she's asked on her talk show. She totally says, "When you fart in a room, do you own up to it or pretend it wasn't you?" and they ask her what she would do and she's all, "If I was with my friends, I would tell them to get out that room cuz I just farted.. it's gonna stink! But if I was on a plane, like sleeping, I would pretend to wake up and look behind me like 'what's that smell!?'" Oh, Tyra. Maybe you should stop eating so many baked bean burritos, huh.

With that aside, let's talk about the show. I only watched it once because I was busy and mostly because sometimes some episodes upset me and I can't bare to watch them more than once. I've only seen the one where Brooke leaves once. That could also be because Fabio was on it. Eww, Fabio.

Speaking of Brooke, I recently bought the issue of Seventeen magazine that she, Smellrose, and the twins are in. Because I only buy magazines that have people from TV shows in them. Seriously. I'm waiting for the Elle with Jeffrey and Marilinda to come out so I can go buy it. Marilinda is best model on that show ever. I'm friends with her on myspace. Anyway.. so there's a little section in Seventeen on ANTM. It has the photos that we saw them take on the show. There's a page of inspiration quotes or some crap like that from the judges and other people. Then there's a large photo of the four of them showing us how to pose. There may be some advice on another page about how to pose well.

So Brooke looks adorable and fits right in with Seventeen. Her outfit's the best and she has on these amazing shoes. The twins look.. like each others, which means they look awkward. They have on weird outfits and Amanda's is less strange, I think. Then there's Melrose. She looks old and so out of place. Like who asked Brooke's older sister to come take pictures and pretend that she's not 33. I want to say Melrose is wearing a beret, but that might just be the permanent image of her in my head talking. In the large photo where they're supposed to be teaching us how to pose, they're supposed to be looking straight into the camera, appear inviting or warm or something.. basically, they're supposed to pose and look like they're models. Brooke looks like a model for Seventeen. The twins look a little awkward and a little too over-model-y for Seventeen. Melrose? She looks like she's going to kill someone. She has this dead stare like her eyes are trying to pierce through your soul. It's kinda amazing, especially because they were specifically showing us how to "model pose."

Back to the show. So the first big event I remember is a TyraMail that tells them basically that they're going to have acting lessons. They show up and it's the acting teacher they have every season, Tyra's friend.. I want to say her name is Tara? I don't know.. is she famous? Maybe I should know her. Anyway, she basically gets them to cry and say what they're feeling. Jaeda cries about her hair. I was shocked. Michelle says she doesn't know who she is or what she wants. Caridee breaks down and tells us that she was once suicidal. I was actually shocked to hear that. Then she's really upset and goes backstage to deal with the bomb she just unintentionally dropped about herself. What does Melrose do? She overdramatizes the pain that she feels when people tell her she's not good enough. Instead of talking about insecurities, she acts like a maniac, saying she always tries harder, does better, and she's tired of being criticized or something. Ummm..

The acting challenge is to act out a silent film. They have to do strange things like eat a lemon, which Jaeda apparently not only bites into, chews, but also swallows.. peel and all. They have to drink prune juice, which causes Michelle to get it all over her face and puke up back into the cup. Disgusting. The winner will be revealed soon, is all they get. The winner will have a small role on CW's One Tree Hill. Why not Veronica Mars?! Why?! I would have loved to see our winner on my new obsession of a show.

They get back to the loft. They find out by watching a tape that the winner is Caridee. The silent movie they have made is ridiculous. It's old-looking, completely absurd, and eventually Tyra appears. Surprise, surprise. The movie turns all Spanish on them and then Tyra does her whole I'm on TV one second, then I'm in the room the next! They're going to Barcelona!

Yay. They have the little gig where they have cutouts of the girls' faces and they bob around on this plane that takes them from the US to Spain. I love that. When they arrive, they get on a bus and drive around picking up random possibly racist Spanish male models. Something else might have happened, but they end up at dinner with the boys eventually and are told of their next challenge. They have to team up with a male model and do a commercial. Everybody is practicing except for Jaeda because her male model basically says he doesn't want to kiss her, which they eventually figure out is because he doesn't like black girls. Everybody is shocked and Jaeda is rightfully offended and a little confused as to how to respond.

I'll have to add, I have grown to like Jaeda over the past few weeks. She still has her issues of never getting over her hair issue, but I've started to find her funny and kinda likeable. Maybe because Brooke said in the CW interview that she and Jaeda were good friends. Anyway, I felt really bad for her, because honestly, this is not an issue that should be present in today's society. It just shouldn't.

The next morning, Tyra greets them and asks if they've all gotten to know their male models and stuff and we get the priceless picture above. Jaeda manages to pull off the most adorable little kid sad face ever. That totally won me over. Tyra's like, "You don't like your model, Jaeda?" and Eugena laughs and says, "He said he doesn't like black girls." And Tyra's all, nuh-uh, no he didn't! She says Jaeda will have to deal with it.

So they start shooting their commercials. The twins are their typical selves.. awkward and slightly boring. Eugena isn't great but does seem like she gives a shit, unlike every other episode before. Melrose is all over bubbly and obnoxious, which translates into a good commercial. Jaeda stumbles and gets frustrated and kinda gives up. Caridee looks totally high on something during hers. She pretty much looks like she does in the silent film from earlier, except it's totally inappropriate here. Her eyes are like at the top of her head, crossed, and her mouth is slightly open all the time like she's confused. It was pretty awful. Pretty hard to watch.

So judging. Was there a judging task? I don't remember. They basically skim over most of the girls. They tell Melrose how great she is and everything and she basically wets herself with excitement. They say Eugena's improved. They're disappointed with Jaeda and when they reiterate what her male model said, Miss Jay's response is total shock and disgust. They tell Caridee she bombed and she can't just rest on her challenge win. In the end, they call Melrose, Eugena, Amanda, Michelle.. Caridee and Jaeda are the bottom two. There goes my theory of Caridee and Jaeda in the final three. Jaeda goes home. I'm changing my pick to Eugena. Caridee, Melrose, Eugena final three. The only problem is that means the twins go one after the other. Maybe they're eliminated together. Ooh.

Next week on I Will Cut You, Tyra, If You Send Caridee Home:
Girls go on go-sees. The twins work together. The girls have funky hair in the photoshoot again. Caridee says something to Nigel that Tyra says was "rude." This preview is leaning towards a Caridee downfall. If this was an Amazing Race preview, I would say Caridee is obviously safe next week. Unfortunately, I don't think Tyra is smart enough to think up a misleading preview. After they cut Brooke, I wanted to jump through the TV screen and slap Tyra. If they cut Caridee.. then this whole show is one big charade. One big charade that I will continue to watch, but still..

Top Chef Episode 5

Last week on Who Stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar:
Chefs had to make an amuse-bouche and Cliff rocked it. Then, as teams of three, they had to design a meal for kids at Camp Glucose for under 500 calories. Apparently, the winning team cheated, or according to Sam, he might have heard of the possibility of someone on another team possibly not playing totally by the supposed rules. Tom put all of the chefs on "probation," which meant they were all sent to their rooms and grounded for the night. Nobody went home.

This week on If Nobody Went Home Last Week, I Wonder How Many Will Go This Week:
The guest chef is a lady who reminds me of someone I know, but I can't pinpoint who. The theme of this week is leftovers. Now, I would have been really happy if the chefs actually had to work with, you know, leftovers. Like I would have liked to see a plate of shredded leftover chicken from Padma's dinner last night. Or a plate of leftover spinach that had been sitting in the fridge for a night. That would have been great.

Instead, for the Quickfire, chefs had to use the leftover parts of animals. Like the liver and etc. I don't know what some of the stuff was and they had interesting names for them, so I was a little clueless. They had two hours to prepare a meal with at least one of the ingredients. Betty points out the obvious but still hilarious.. Wolverine goes for the pig's blood. "Don'tcha think he kinda looks like a vampire?" Hahaha.

During judging, Elia and Josie were pointed out as the worst because their flavors sucked and their dishes were difficult to eat. Elia goes on to confessional to say that she tries to make her dishes taste like a elegant version of the actual food or something. She doesn't mask her food with sauces. I really would've given a buck or two to have Suyai back for a few minutes to say, "Hello, I'm a liver" again. Hahaha.

The best three are Ilan, Sam, and Cliff, I believe. I'll just go assume that's true because it's quite obvious these three are the best. Sam wins and this means he is the only one immune at tribal council.. er, I mean, the judging table.

Next, chefs show up at a restaurant that will be hosting Jennifer Coolidge's big lunch date with sixty friends. I'll go out on a limb and say she knows five of these guests enough to call them actual friends. For anybody unaware, Michael tells us that it's so cool to be able to cook for Stiffler's mom. That's her.. Mrs. Stiffler.

They have to pick a partner and work together to prepare one course of the meal. Wolverine and Frank have course 1. They make salmon and beets. Guest judge says the textures are similar, so it's not extremely superb. That gets washed over as the other judges show how little they care about the guest judge's comments. They think it's good.

Course 2 is Sam and Cliff with foie gras and scallops. They both work really well on the dish and as a team don't seem to run into any difficulties. Cliff doesn't care that Sam has immunity and Sam shows that it doesn't matter that he has immunity. They serve their dish as two plates because they can't figure out how to combine the flavors. The judges seem to like it.

Course 3 is Ilan and Michael. Seafood Paella. Mmmm. Elsie would be proud (different season, different show, I know). Everybody is surprised that Ilan wanted to work with Michael. The dish is apparently excellent, although guest judge points out that there's too much seasoning. Again, the other judges don't care and say it's excellent anyway.

Course 4 is Betty and Mia with their duck napoleon. When I heard this, I was all, ewww.. duck ice cream?! But apparently one can make a savory version of a napoleon and serve it on top of fifteen layers of uncooked puff pastry and call it a napoleon. The judges are confused about the puff pastry and Padma, who btw I have noticed really knows nothing, says that the duck should be the feature of this dish. Gail is all, yeah duh, and says the duck should be pink on the inside if it's cooked correctly. The guest judge doesn't like it.

Course 5 is Josie and Marisa, whom I will name Team Trainwreck. They make what they call an Awakening Trio, which, it doesn't seem these people are falling asleep just yet. The fifth course, we find out, is traditionally a protein. Instead, they serve a strange salad, some weird clump of diced fruit, and pepto bismol. Josie didn't have to say it for me to think it. The minute I saw that spoon, I thought, why is there an antacid on the plate? I think it's funny these two chose each other.. and Cliff and Sam chose each other as well. It appears good chefs hang out with each other and trainwrecks hang out with each other as well.

Course 6 is Carlos and Elia, who have also decided to do three things. Theirs is a trio of desserts. It looks pretty plated, but apparently that doesn't make up for the pomegranate juice that has gone bad. I know exactly what they mean. It gets this really bitter unripe taste. It doesn't always mean it's gone bad though, I don't think. Anyway, they end up messing up one of their plates and put two juices on it instead of an ice cream and that plate comes back with no time left to fix it. That plate cannot be served. The two of them are upset and Carlos goes on to say it was completely his fault and Elia should not go home because of him. That's a nice gesture, but let's see how far that goes into the judging room.

Judgement:
The judges decide that Michael & Ilan's paella and Cliff & Sam's foie gras and scallop are the best dishes. The two teams go to the judging table and Michael is pleased that he has gone from a permanent seat in the bottom three to a seat in the top. This is mainly because of Ilan.. we all know it. If it weren't for him, Michael probably would have molded the rice into a phallic symbol. Anyway, the judges say Cliff and Sam should have found a way to combine the two dishes. Michael and Ilan win and guest judge has to choose one person to go to the Food and Wine Festival with her. Ilan is the ultimate winner. Yay. This is pretty much a three man show right now.

Next, Betty & Mia, Team Trainwreck, and Carlos & Elia are called back. They're criticized for their obvious flaws. Marisa doesn't throw Josie under the bus, surprisingly again. I think maybe Josie's temper tantrum from last episode scared her. Anyway, the judges' conversation obviously shows that there are no redeeming qualities to Team Trainwreck's dish. They didn't really cook anything even. So Padma says, "Marisa.." and Marisa nods her head sadly in resignation (haha), "and Josie.." and Josie also nods, "please pack your knives and go." Mia looks completely shocked. The rest of them also respond accordingly. We see some of the other chefs crying. I wonder if it's because of Josie's departure or because they now realize they had a great chance of going home as a pair themselves. We all know it wasn't because of Marisa. Hahaha. Much like Starr, Marisa is gone fairly early in the game, but not early enough.

Next week on Wolverine is So Small Compared to Frank:
Frank threatens to beat Wolverine into a pulp. Chefs have to make some sort of Thanksgiving related meal. The previews are awful.

Until next time..

The Biggest Loser Episode 9

I have decided that bullet points makes it extremely difficult to read. Let's try to nix that. Helps that for this week, I did not take notes. Also, I am writing these recaps from my home-home, not my school-home.

Last week on The Biggest Loser:
Adrian and Jaron returned to the game because they lost a gazillion pounds. Adrian threw a hissy fit or two, but not before both trainers showed how obviously upset they were that the producers made them look like fools. Heather was a b... herself this week and decided to gain four pounds so she could get rid of Bobby. They voted off Bobby.

This week:
Bob now only has two people to train while Kim has like six or something. I don't know why they think she's a better trainer. From what I see, she just doesn't push them to the point that Bob does. Not that Bob is all that awesome either. Well.. they show Wylie overtraining, and FORESHADOWING, anyone?

This week's challenge involves riding an exercise bike high in the air and every 2 miles a person reaches, they get to send someone down ten feet. After being sent down thirty feet, it is game over. The last person standing will win immunity for the vote. And this week is the first week it's an individual game.

So this challenge also apparently involved Adrian throwing a hissy-fit, Kai playing the sympathy card, but also Kai biking faster than anyone else. By the end of the challenge, Kai is two miles ahead of Eric and they're pretty neck-and-neck for the win. Whoever reaches their two mile mark first would be the winner. Kai pulls it out and wins the immunity. I don't like that people spared her because she was afraid of heights, but I do like that she won it being the person who biked the most.

Anyway, some other stuff happens that involves training and Adrian being upset.

At the weigh-in, the two people with the lowest percentage weight-loss for this week would be in the danger zone. Adrian and Jaron pull good numbers again. Eric pulls double digits. Heather gets a 7, which means she only lost 3 additional pounds to the four she gained last week. Wylie loses 0 pounds because apparently he worked out too much. Marty loses 8 pounds but is still below the yellow line, which is ridiculous and incredible.

At the judgement table, Adrian and Jaron vote for Marty. Heather and Kai vote for Wylie because they wanted him gone like a month ago. And because they say when you do poorly one week, the next week, you'll do amazing. Like Heather, who technically lost three pounds. That's how I see it, anyway. So it comes down to Eric to break the tie and everybody assumes it's Wylie who's going home. Incredibly, Eric votes for Marty, who he said he wouldn't vote for since the two of them are the only blues remaining. He says she wants to win the game. If you think about it, though, Marty lost 8 pounds and was still below the yellow line. This game may become harder for him, being one of the heavier yet more muscular players left. I don't think this would have been the last time in the danger zone for him.

Sorry, Marty, you are not the biggest loser. We are shown that Marty was the best teacher in the world. He lost an additional twenty-five pounds after going home. Awesome.

Next week on The Biggest Loser:
I don't think I saw the preview, but here's a guess. Bob is mad at Eric for voting out Marty. Adrian throws a hissy-fit. Heather and Kai are in the bottom two (I hope, I hope, I hope).

Until next time..

The Amazing Race Episode 9

Previously on TAR:
- Teams traveled from Mauritius to Madagascar.
- The Intersection was introduced in a last-ditch attempt at saving David and Mary.
- Tyler and James and Rob and Kimberly choked on the Fast Forward, coming in after the Barbies, in second and third place respectively.
- The Barbies rocked that leg.
- Bama barely moved faster than a slow crawl because they knew they would definitely beat Kentucky's half hour penalty.
- Kentucky went home.

This week:
- Apparently Madagascar is the 4th largest island. I'm not sure why I was surprised, because thinking about it now, Madagascar is pretty big compared to Crete and stuff. I'm assuming Antarctica and Australia are considered continents and not islands. Greenland's pretty big. Anyway.. unimportant.

- Clue: Go to Helsinki, Finland, log onto aol.com to get the next clue. Tickets to Paris are provided, due to the lack of flights leaving Madagascar on any given day. Teams then have to book their own travel from then on, and they do not have to keep the Paris tickets, which put them on a flight that leaves in like 16 hours.
- Beginning of the leg observations: The Barbies are awesome. Kimberly washed her hair. The Chos are stupid.. this isn't friend camp.
- The first four teams manage to figure out it's faster to go through Johannesburg. It looks like Bama won't make it, but then the TAR fairy appears after having just finished having brunch with Rob and Brennan, Flo and Zach, Chip and Kim, and Uchenna and Joyce (all winning teams who noteably had some visits from the TAR fairy). They let them on the plane five minutes after it already departed or something. They flew them up in a hovercraft and dropped them into open seats.
- Karlyn actually smiles. Make note of this. I think this is smile number 3 so far this season.
- A little bit of Cho/Bama tension. Foreshadowing.
- Hmmm I wonder who the sponsor is. Teams get to see messages from home. The best one is when they show a Chos' girlfriend and then for the other one, it's his mother and sister.. who are actually both of their mother and sister. I just thought it was funny. It was like haha you are single. No one wants to be with you right now. Maybe not exactly.. I just thought it was funny.

- The family members give the next clue, which tells them to go to the cafe manager or something. Clue: Go to the city of Tampere via train and then taxi.
- Bama totally breaks down. They're the last ones there and I have to say the children are adorable. Lyn's three children read the clue together really slowly so they can be in unison and it's cute.
- All teams get on the same train.
- Barbies and Models "flirt"? I'm not quite sure because they're both aware of how important it is to play their own strong games. I think they kind of just pretend to lead each other on. I am so glad the Barbies are not Megan & Heidi, Dani & Danielle, Heather & Eve, etc. They know that nobody comes on a race for a million dollars to find a hot guy to hook up with. They don't cling to other teams for help.. they do it themselves. And frankly, if they did decide to use other teams for help, they would be wasting time because these two are very efficient.
- The Barbies and Models get off the train first and quickly find cabs parked in front of the station. The rest of them have to go to where there's a line, or as that part of the world says it, a queue. Kim and Rob ask a couple if they could please cut in line because it's an emergency and the couple says okay. This is fine and for once this team doesn't seem like the asses. Then, Bama proceeds to do the same thing, minus the asking for permission. They rudely jump into a cab as someone else is trying to get in and say, "Thank you sir!" in an obnoxious tone. Can it, Bama. The Chos then bitch about being polite and how it's gonna cost them. No, Chos, what's gonna cost you is this inability to work by yourself, for yourself, without concerning yourself with carrying the weaker teams around.

- Barbies and Models do a pointless race to the clue box, where they both find the Detour: Swamp This or Swamp That (they have run out of catchy ideas). In Swamp This, teams have to put on skis and go trekking through the swampy mud. In Swamp That, teams have to crawl through an obstacle course, at one point where one member has to carry the other. Both teams have to climb over a fence at one point and jump into the heavy quicksand-consistency mud.
- Teams that do Swamp This: Barbies and Bama. Teams that do Swamp That: Models, Rob/Kim, Chos.

- Tyler/James narrowly edge out the Barbies a finish the challenge first. They receive the next Clue: Take a train to Turku. Then drive 74 miles to Lorja.
- The Models decide to change clothes before getting in their car, but the Barbies don't because they're not prima donnas like the boys. Also, is it just me, or did the Barbies just not get dirty at all? In the short of them in their taxi right after the challenge, they look like they just spent thirty minutes shopping.
- At one point, Rob says something to the effect that Kim was heavy, or difficult to carry. She says, "Are you calling me fat?" Best part, there's no exchange after that. Rob doesn't say no, neither of them laugh, and Kim doesn't get angry either. I thought it was hilarious.
- Barbies and Models make the train and stand there urging it to hurry up and move. Usually, this is where the TAR fairy comes along and helps the back end teams out a little. Not this time. In an excellent display, Rob and Kimberly arrive in time to see the train leaving the station. It's fantastic.
- By the way, Kimberly's freshly showered look from earlier? Gone. She looks rough once again.
- In a strange exchange, Rob and Kimberly try to go past Bama/Cho on the train to go back to their seats and Bama/Cho are standing up for some reason and Bama goes on and on about "no party train with Rob and Kim."
- The Models find the next place and go into a mine, which is a classic example of doing something reminiscent of a former contestant. In this show and some others, the episode after a contestant leaves, there's a challenge that is something he/she would have loved or exceled at. This is a David challenge.
- Barbies have to wait because they don't quite find the marked flag as quickly.
- There is Bama/Cho tension again. Foreshadowing.
- Roadblock at the bottom of the mine ride: Bike into the mine, get a block of limestone, ride back up and break it open to get the clue, which is in a vile/container.
- Rob calls Bama Frick and Frack.
- James and Kandice do the Roadblock.
- James finds the clue first: Drive to Helsinki Olympic Stadium.
- Rob tries to drive into the mine. Chos and Bama find the mine clue before Rob and Kim.
- Models get to the Olympic Stadium first but go into the stadium and cannot find the marked flag, which is on a door outside of the stadium.
- Finally they find the clue: Go to the top of the tower. They find out they have to rappel down the tower face first. Excellent. One of the models is scared.
- Rob and Kim are a trainwreck as they fail to spot the marked door yet again when it seems they've right behind Chos/Bama, who spot it quickly. Rob and Kim display major trainwreck signs.
- After numerous mentions this episode by the contestants of how they're getting close to the pitstop, of course we have a TBC. It was about time.. I assumed it was time leg since it wasn't last leg. The Models get a clue after finishing rappeling and the Barbies are in the process of getting suited up and starting the rappel. Rob and Kimberly are cut off in this episode looking like a total trainwreck.

Next week: Tank time with Dennis and Andrew. I wouldn't be surprised if they were still in there, hoping to get the fast forward that will same them from behind five hundred hours behind. I think the Chos are toast next week. There's major foreshadowing of Bama screwing over the Chos and taking the final four spot. If so, this would mean two all-female teams in the final four. Would be a TAR first. And I'm crossing my fingers for a Rob and Kim trainwreck. Nothing is funnier.

Until next time..

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