Catch Up: American Idol, Top Model, Amazing Race, Apprentice

Funniest Moments of the Past Few Weeks of Reality:
Instead of recapping all the shows I missed or apologizing really, I'm just going to give my favorite highlights of each show.

American Idol:
The judges don't even critique Sanjaya anymore. He's on his own show, wears his hair however he feels like, and week after week, better singers are eliminated. Everybody's forgotten about how Scarnato edged out Sabrina Sloan because at least Haley tries to sing.

I also liked Gwen Stefani. Loved that she performed. Thought she was good at critiquing everybody.

And of course, LOVED that Sabrina Sloan was in the audience. They panned over her and then focused on Melinda's family, who she was sitting with. I noticed the hair and yelled, "Sabrina!" Yay. Glad to see her again. Love ya, Sabrina. Still voting for you every week. Except I'm not actually crazy, so no, but I do think about how much better she would've done than some of those fools every week.

America's Next Top Model:
Loved that they had to be men. Loved how ridiculous Natasha was. Loved how much Renee sucked at the laser challenge. Loved the mail order phone sex. Now that Diana is rightfully gone, this probably means Whitney's going to the end. If I had to predict a final three without analyzing the collage right now, I would say Jaslene, Renee, and Whitney. Apparently Brittany is good, but I don't like her. She reminds me of the girl whose face fell off. I don't like her face.

The Amazing Race:
Loved the Barbies' first place. Loved that teams were still completing a leg when other teams had started the next one. Hated the stupid intersection. Loved Eric's "Ladies and Gentlemen... Miss California" when Dustin suddenly puked sausage. Loved the excessive penis references from the extremely inappropriate but hilarious minds of Charla and Mirna.

But the quote that takes the cake.. I think it was two episodes ago. Dustin and Kandice are talking about being the first all-female team to win. And one of them says they just have to beat "Too Hot to Handle." And they laugh about how anybody could possibly compete with that. Anyway, that was hilarious. I think they realized when they were saying it that a portion of the audience would hate them for saying it and say they're awful people and picking on someone with a disability. But at the same time, they knew there was another portion of the audience who would love it. So they were trying to hold back and not seem completely awful but at the same time, directing their comments at their fans who would find it amazing.

I am one of those fans. I love those two and if you haven't read my recaps from last season, I believe I spent an entire recap talking about why people were stupid for hating them and why they're amazing. Yes, when I have favorites, I cannot stop complimenting them or defending them. I am pretty loyal in that sense. But it's not like I pick bad favorites. My favorites are always worthy of the praise.

And of course, D/K prove all of the points I've ever made and run a pretty efficient and successful race. I cannot state enough how much I like their demeanor and strategy on this race. They don't make friends, they don't make perminent alliances, they don't go out of the way to focus on other teams and try to sabotage them. They just run a good race. The only team who may be playing this better right now is ChaChaCha. Danny and Oswald have found a way to be nice and liked by all teams without helping or aligning really with any of them. I am proud of how they're playing. ChaChaCha and Barbies to the end. That would be beautiful. Too bad JV and Jill can't come back and be that third final team.

The Apprentice:
A lot has changed. After hearing in an interview with Derek that Heidi was not part of an alliance and everybody truly thought she was good, I have to apologize for how much i bashed her. She came from small-town Michigan. I'm from Michigan. I know the type. A little sheltered growing up, and then breaking free to pursue bigger and better things elsewhere where nobody can really help you and you have to tough it out and do it yourself. I think Heidi's learned how to be successful and whether it involves smug faces or not, I do give her credit.

Kristine has become hilarious to me. She's said some things that have been a little subtle, but really funny. When Muna said she couldn't "use the Lord's name in vain," Kristine said, "Well, God told me I could use his name in vain." And then she talked about what we viewers say all the time. God is not in the boardroom making the decisions. I'm pretty sure if God was around, he would be focusing his time and energy on starving children and bridging the educational gap. Not deciding who gets to work with The Donald.

Also, when Kristine told the cameraman it was none of his business what went on when her husband spent the night, I thought that was hilarious. First of all, aren't all the beds in one room? What did they do, sleep in the bathtub? Hahaha.

Lastly, I love that Tim was ripped apart at a boardroom he wasn't a part of. It's like the opposite of when Rob Mariano controlled a tribal council he wasn't even at. Tim looks like such a schmuck on the show. It's too bad because I think Tim's probably a lot of fun. There was just no way to win for him. Every situation was lose-lose.

The Amazing Race 11 Episode 1

This week on The Worst Ending Ever:
We're back! Ten of the most memorable teams to ever run The Amazing Race are back. There's also this pretend team running around like they deserve to be there.

Let's start off by saying I'm really pissed. I've calmed down since the show aired a week ago, but I'm still pretty pissed. CBS made a plane come back to the gate. How could they have not stolen Eric and Danielle's car engine or something?

As far as the teams go, nobody really did anything unexpected or out of character. Unfortunately, true to character, John Vito and Jill had trouble with directions. Eric and Danielle were annoying. Ian said "Hoorah" like five times. Rob and Amber ran a great leg. Mirna talked in her own dialect, which I call The Mirna, or Mirnian. It's weird how the spell check on this campus computer knows the word "Mirna." I guess it's a real language.

So yeah, nothing was particularly out of character. Except I love how the teams all know each other and some are fans of each other. Danny and Oswald wanted to take care of Charla and Mirna, which is nice. Rob actually stopped the shuttle for Danny and Oswald who led them to the airport. That might have been a little surprising although I've always thought Rob was a decent guy. Just look at how he treats Amber. She's like his princess. I've always thought it was sweet when a tough guy like Rob treats his girl really well. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. He adores her. You don't see that very often anymore these days. So it's nice.

The first challenge of the race is figuring out that American will arrive first even though it departs later. I'm surprised that so many of the leading teams figured this out almost intuitively.
This leg was basically a blur with a bunch of running teams and no real tough tasks. I won't go through all the minor details because I'm lazy and it would just piss me off. Basically, at some point, John Vito and Jill get really really lost. Drew manages to trip on nothing and twist is leg or something. The two of them are really annoying for this leg and actually get a flat tire which they disregard and continue driving. Actually, Drew is so out of shape, Charla beats him in the initial foot race. Charla's really pleased about it. And she should be.

Rob and Amber run a really clean race. My friend thinks Amber's had some work done on her face, but watching the show, I don't really see it. Teri, on the other hand.. her eyebrows are in a suspicious location relative to the rest of her face. She mentions at one point that "Mirna and Shmirna" are coming and wonders if they have a show nickname. I'm pretty sure it was the Asshat and his wife back in their season. I don't know, I don't mind them that much.

We find out in the episode that John Vito and Jill are open to reconnecting. Which is great news because like any other JV and Jill fan, I want them to live happily ever after and have gorgeous babies. Speaking of babies.. apparently Uchenna and Joyce's marriage is one the rocks again. Not that they seemed to have any problems in their previous season when they said they were having problems. They still haven't had the baby and I think it's really time for adoption. Joyce is 48, I believe, and why they're not getting pregnant could be affected by her age. Starting at 25, women's egg supply begins to decrease. I read it in Time Magazine like three years ago.

We find out that Eric and Danielle have a perhaps not so 50-50 relationship. He says he's the boss and she repeats to us that he's the boss. Although I guess if I were in a relationship with someone like Danielle, I would want to be the boss, too, in fear that she may lead us to the North Pole.

Mary and David, America's favorites from last season, are back on the show to act as the crazy fans that run around asking for autographs. They mention that they're fans of a lot of the teams, which is nice, because it means they've really been watching the show. David is so excited to meet Rob and Amber that he calls them Rob and Kim, which is a huge diss. He apologizes and it's kinda funny because he's like a little kid meeting Michael Jordan or something.

Mary and David, on the other hand, are not pleased to see Dustin and Kandace, two of the greatest female racers of the show. I am very happy, though. The Barbies run a clean first leg, nothing spectacular but no real mistakes.

I want to give a shoutout to Kris and Jon and Colin and Christie. Wish you all were on the race. Rob and Amber are in a different league than most of the other teams. If CBS was looking for a good match-up, they would have given Rob and Amber some competition besides Dustin and Kandace.

Charla and Mirna, by the way, were completely predictable in this leg. They found their own local tour guide, which they were always great at doing. Mirna talked in her own language the whole leg. They both really just wanted other racers to like them, and were pleased when Danny and Oswald helped them out.

Guidos were pretty tame this week. They made a crack about how they're just two gay grandpas on this race and nobody should be that afraid of them. They also joked about Rob and Amber having their own television network. I'm most surprised that the Guido dog is still alive. It has been quite a few years since their season. Glad to see their mascot is still around.

Did I miss anyone? Well, if I did, they just weren't memorable. Next week's recap will be a better attempt at covering what actually happened. Unless my next favorite team gets the ax, I'll be in a much better mood about the episode.

The Amazing Race All-Stars Preview!

Ten Seasons Ago on The Amazing Race:
A little reality show was born at the beginning of a new era of television. Its concept was simple: Send teams on a world-wide treasure hunt. Have them complete tasks and race to each pitstop mat. Along the way, all but three teams would be eliminated and only one team would earn the right to cross the finish line in first place. The prize was huge. A million dollars and a priceless trip around the world.

For the past six years, 112 teams have raced around the world. All but ten of them have come up short, many of them in more ways than one. Families have raced together. Couples have raced together. Best friends have raced together. Now, ten teams and one fake team have returned. They have come back, some after ten seasons, to a completely different race. They all have only one goal in mind.. don't get stuck carrying around a slab of meat, two backpacks, and your whiny teammate. Or at least that will be Charla's goal.

In the first season, it was Rob and Brennan. In the second season, it was Chris and Alex. In the third season, it was Zach and a dead weight. In the fourth season, it was Lance Bass' broke down lover and Chip. In the fifth season, it was Chip and Kim. In season six, it was unfortunately Freddy and Princess Kendra. In season seven, it was Uchenna and Joyce. In the season they all refuse to talk about, it was Nick, Alex, Megan, and Tommy Linz. In the ninth season, it was BJ and Tyler. In the most recent season, the tenth season, it was Tyler and James. Who will it be this season?

This season on The Amazing Race 11 All-Stars:
We have eleven returning teams. I have been waiting for this for a long time. So we will go through each team carefully and decide how well each will do in this go around. I will score each team based on (1) Past Performance, (2) Athletic Ability, (3) Mental Ability, (4) Driving/Directions, (5) Aggressiveness, and (6) Roadblock Rule--the ability to cope with the roadblock rule that was put into place after the Bowling Moms were royally screwed. By the way, lack of Bowling Moms really upsets me. But we'll get to that later. My last section will be dedicated to who deserves to be in this All-Stars edition.

For each category, there is a max of three points and a minimum of negative three points.

Kevin and Drew:
Fraternity Brothers/BFF
Finished 4th in Season 1.
40 and 41 years old.

They competed so long ago, I barely remember their racing style. Of course, I have seen the first season since then, but it's still hard to predict how they will do in a race so different from its original form. They really built a bond with Nancy and Emily and were crushed when the Guidos squeaked by.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: Not bad, but they've gotten six years older. (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Not the brightest bulbs in the shack, but as far as the race goes, they're no Heather and Eve. (1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: If I remember correctly, they weren't perfect navigators by any means. (0 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They weren't cutthroat but they weren't Michael and Kathy. (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They will deal fine. No problem. (3 points)
Total: 5 points

Oswald and Danny:
BFF
Finished 4th in Season 2.
36 and 41 years old.

Everybody was really into Team ChaChaCha or whatever they called themselves. I recall them being entertaining and being the first team to find a local guide to take them to their destinations. I don't really remember them being the greatest at navigating.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: I think they're decent (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Finding a local guide was a smart thing. I think they'll probably be good at using resources (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I remembered them not being so good. (-1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: Not overly so, but I don't think they'd get stepped on. (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They'll be fine. (3 points)
Total: 5 points

John Vito and Jill:
Formerly Dating :(
Finished 5th in Season 3.
32 and 29 years old.

Anybody that knows me race-wise knows that I love John Vito and Jill and back when their season was on, saw them as the most awesome couple ever and wanted them to get married. Now that I know they're separated, I think it's great that they're doing the race together again and hopefully they'll get along. I wonder if we'll find out in the first five minutes who was the one to call it quits.

(1) Past Performance: 5th place (-2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: Jill was the first real female powerhouse. Still looks good. And John Vito is built. (3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: I would say they need to learn to ask for help more quickly. They did do very well for themselves, though. (1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: Unfortunately, I have to deduct on this. They had a lot of bad luck with directions. (-2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: When it comes to the physical tasks, they're really aggressive. When it comes to interactions with other teams, they try to stay out of the drama. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They're going to be fine. Mixed gender groups should get extra points. But that's not really fair. Not that this system I have going means anything. (3 points)
Total: 6 points

Uchenna and Joyce:
Married
Finished 1st in Season 7.
42 and 46 years old.

Loved them on the show. I did agree that their win was probably one of the more suspicious ones. That plane that came back? Tricky, CBS.

(1) Past Performance: 1st place (3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: I'd say they're not how they were twenty years ago, probably, but they've certainly maintained themselves. (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Well, they did win the show. I can't say they're as strategic as Colin or Boston Rob were. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they had a couple glitches, but all in all they were okay. There was that taxi debacle at the finish line that was hilarious, though. (1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: They were pretty aggressive in taking on the race. (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: It was already around when they competed. (3 points)
Total: 12 points

David and Mary:
Married- Coalminer and Wife
Finished 6th in Season 10.
33 and 32 years old.

They're back because they were funny and charming and America loved them. While I do think they're great characters, this is All-Stars. No Kris and Jon, no Colin and Christie.. for this? I don't think so.

(1) Past Performance: 6th place (-3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: No. (-3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: They were smart to make an alliance, so I won't take off the full points (-1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: It's kind of hard to gauge because they were always following somebody. They would all get lost often, though. (-2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: Willing to give the race up to their friends. Not so aggressive (-3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They did it before, but they didn't get to the end where it gets tighter. (0 points)
Total: -12 points

Charla and Mirna:
Cousins
Finished 6th in Season 5.
30 and 30 years old.

For a team that finished in the same place as David and Mary, I sure do remember them as a much stronger team. They're kind of my favorite team to watch because Charla is always out there carrying a slab of beef, two backpacks, and Mirna on her shoulders. I do not like playing the disability card, though. I didn't like it when Sarah did it last season. I don't like it when people play the old card, either. I don't like cards.

(1) Past Performance: 6th place (-3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: Neither is out of shape, but neither is very fast. (-2 points)
(3) Mental Ability: They're actually both pretty sharp. I say actually because Mirna uttered some ridiculous things in their season, but they were very strategic players. (3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they were decent. (1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: Not physically aggressive necessarily, but they were fierce when it came to playing the game (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I think they were in the first season to feature this, right? I only would worry that the producers decide it would be funny to make Charla do things that are very physically difficult for her. Remember Sarah from last season? I guess that was primarily Peter's fault. (1 point)
Total: 2 points

Rob and Ambuh:
Married Famewhores
Finished 2nd in Season 7.
30 and 28 years old.

They're famewhores. They know it. We all know it. They were great players, though. I think they've earned the right as the best reality duo out there. Being successful in two shows and getting their wedding paid by CBS qualifies they as the best famewhores out there. Although Omarosa sadly is tough competition. She does manage to get her scary face on television when she wants to.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd place (2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: They're in great shape, but I wouldn't say Ambuh is in the same league as Jill at all. (2 points)
(3) Mental Ability: Rob does the thinking for them and he's one of the greatest reality strategists. (3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They excelled at getting help with directions. (3 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: It's Boston Rob. He's pretty aggressive. And since his mentality runs the race for the two of them, although Ambuh is not aggressive at all, when she's with Rob, their team is considered pretty aggressive. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I believe they were a part of this rule. I still think Ambuh slowed them down a little, though. (2 points)
Total: 15 points

Teri and Ian:
Married Parents
Finished 2nd in Season 3.
53 and 54 years old.

Teri has a new face. Or at least new eyes. These two were fun to hate for the most part of the race, but then ended up being a good story to root for in the finale. Their season was awhile back. I'm interested to see how they hold up this time around.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd place (2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: No, but they try. (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: They took risks. They made calculated decisions. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they were pretty good. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They were aggressive, but I don't know how much translated into the actual game (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: This is interesting. I'll say Teri has a hard time with some of the more physical tasks. (-2 points)
Total: 4 points

Eric and Danielle:
Fake Team- Dating
Finished 2nd and 7th in Season 9.
28 and 23 years old.

I don't really want to talk about this. This upsets me and makes me rather angry to think that it's possible that Kris and Jon were turned down for this. Of course, it's possible that Kris and Jon were the ones who turned down CBS.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd and 7th place (-5 points just because they make me angry)
(2) Athletic Ability: Danielle will hold them back (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Nope. She's a definite no and he's a no because he's with her. (-3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: Who cares (-3 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: How do you judge a team that's never worked together? (-3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: Honestly, didn't Danielle suck on her season? (-3 points)
Total: -18 points

Guidos:
Life Partners
Finished 3rd in Season 1.
56 and 53 years old.

Guidos were the ones everybody loved to hate. They were the fly that you keep trying to kill but keep missing and it just comes back and buzzes around your head all the time.

(1) Past Performance: 3rd place (0 points- it was not a deserved 3rd. They didn't finish.)
(2) Athletic Ability: They've gotten older (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: I have to admit they were pretty strong. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They were pretty good here too. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: If you look up the word, there's probably a picture of them. They were even overly aggressive. Since that was annoying, it drops them down a point. (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I'll say they're okay but they're old. (2 points)
Total: 7 points

Dustin and Kandice:
Beauty Queens
Finished 4th in Season 10.
25 and 25 years old.

Anybody that knew me in November, or whenever it was that people were being obnoxious about this team, knows that I loved Dustin and Kandice. I'm glad they get a second chance to prove themselves. These girls are great for this game. Actually, the episode where they got eliminated is the only episode of the race that I haven't seen. I'm not quite sure when I'll get around to seeing it. I kind of don't want to.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: I'm really biased, but there's no denying this team is in great shape. (3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: I thought they were great. Not exactly Rob Mariano.. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They were good until they got lost in that horrible episode that I did watch before they got eliminated. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They weren't annoying about it. They were confident, knew they could win, but didn't push it in people's faces. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They were fine. (3 points)
Total: 12 points

That gives us Rob and Ambuh with the highest total and Dustin and Kandice and Uchenna and Joyce right up there. I'm disappointed that they didn't go all out and pick the best strategic and physical teams and just make this a race about actually racing other teams.

The Amazing Race Episode 12

I will most likely not be recapping Episode 12 for TAR. To be quite honest, I have not seen the episode yet and it is not high on my priorities at the moment. I really would rather not watch my favorites be eliminated because of this new "marked for elimination" rule. I will cover the finale, though, once I watch it tomorrow or the day after.

Thank you all for reading my recaps and thank you to those who have left comments. Please leave me comments and/or email!

The Amazing Race Episode 11

Last week on Good Riddance (no, not the song):
The Bama girls realized that the Chos were holding them back. Hmmm, all this time the Chos have been making us think they've been helping Bama. Hmmm. There was a lot of bad rapping and some tank driving with Dennis and Andrew. (Okay, I know the joke's gotten old and most people probably don't even remember Season 3. Still..) The Chos sucked at life and got eliminated nine and a half legs too late.

This week on The Pretend Recap:
I will be honest. It's 1:15 AM and my Stats homework isn't finishing itself. However, I will also be honest when I say my recap deadlines are more important to me. Plus, the homework doesn't have to be done until 5 PM tomorrow.

And if we're being honest here, I'll also have to admit that I'm really weird about watching TV shows. With reality shows, I often watch episodes multiple times. It's easy on Bravo since they replay each episode a gazillion times. Lately, I've found myself falling into a pattern. I have a really hard time watching episodes in which I know something bad will happen beforehand. I had a really hard time watching this past Top Model episode because of the whole Caridee drama. I only watched it once. However, I can watch episodes like the one where Anchal was booted multiple times. I don't like watching really dramatic scenes like when people fight or get injured or get sick. I especially don't like watching when something bad happens to my favorites. I don't know, maybe I've been too effected.

Anyway, what I'm meaning to say is I didn't watch this past episode of TAR very closely at all. I knew that my Barbies would falter because I read on forums before I watched the show. When I watched the show, I didn't even watch it entirely. I mean, I saw the whole thing, but I was playing Minesweeper during most of it. I also got really angry and did my whole talking back to the contestants thing a lot. Basically, this recap might not be very thorough or accurate. I will, however, express my feelings on things.

The major gist of this episode goes like this: Teams travel somewhere.. this is bad, I don't even remember where they went. Barbies went through a lot of trouble with flights and connections only to end up on the same last connecting flight with everybody else. Everybody pissed and moaned about how the Barbies are great racers. The Barbies Yield Bama. The Roadblock had one team member riding on a chariot and pulling flags. Teams were really close together and the Barbies drove too far when going for the Detour. All teams went for grind it and there were only three work stations, which meant the Barbies had to wait around. This sucked and the Barbies were last at a NEL. Oh, and Bama raced twenty times better than they ever had, being alliance-less. We'll get to this later.

I just did three problems. Glorious. In this faux recap, I would like to cover several things: A.) Why the Barbies are great and why I hate how everybody hates them, B.) Why I think Bama is actually much better than the Chos were, C.) Rob and Kimberly's car trouble, D.) Two all-female teams in the top 4, E.) Typecasting and editing, who will be the final three, and how will they place.

A- Why the Barbies are great and why I hate how everybody hates them
As everybody knows, I love the Barbies. I will also admit that it's very hard to pull me from my favorites once I'm set on them. I will admit the Barbies have done some catty things that were a little unnecessary. However, it's almost impossible for me to turn on my favorites. Example: I really liked Danielle from Survivor 12, last season. No matter how much was thrown in my face about how useless she was, I remained loyal. I also liked the Mycoskies until the end in TAR 2 even though people thought they were sneaky and didn't play well with others.

I think the Barbies are great because they're a typical pretty model-y all-female team that is always cast every season. I would argue that the cheerleaders are a perfect example of the typical good-looks-bad-brains young female team that is in every season. Occasionally, though, we find a competitive girl in there somewhere (Tian from Season 4, the twins from Season 5 to a degree, although they did get really lucky sometimes). This is the first time that a pair of pretty girls have really surged ahead and been seen as a threat. They have been great racers this entire season. They've had some luck just like all the other teams and they've had two bad legs just like all the other teams, including Tyler and James. They don't depend on a strong all-male team to lead them along like many other all-female teams have in the past. They make it a point to race their own race and depend only on each other. They make aggressive plays and they think with their heads. It's just really refreshing to see such a strong young all-female team.

Now, what I hate is that because they are two pretty girls who are beauty queens, people will constantly mention it like it means there's no way they could be good racers. I hate that because they're racing hard, they're seen as conniving and manipulative. I am proud that for once, the young all-female team is the one that's trying to lose the other teams when they're driving to a location. I love that they're the ones that people are keeping an eye out for. I can't stand that when an all-female team is doing what all-male teams have been doing since the first season of this show, they're viewed as the villains. When an all-male team excels, people say it's because young males are athletic and make good decisions. Dustin and Kandace are just as strong as any of those all-male teams that exceled at this game. In fact, they've proven multiple times that when they're put up against Tyler and James, they often come out ahead.

I hate the perception of young all-female teams, especially beauty queens, as weak. I will say, I am a young female, definitely not of beauty queen caliber, and I'm in the demographic that often labels girls like these as a bad image of women and women rights. Oh course, I've never been that type, but I just want to say that I think it's significant for this to be said. I'm not saying it because I'm a guy that thinks the girls are hot. I'm a female their age. I just think it needs to be said. These girls are the strongest all-female team ever to be on this show. They have done consistently better than the majority of teams on this show. I'm tired of all the ratting on them.

I'm especially tired of all the teams complaining when D/K rush off on their own. They're trying to gain a lead. They're trying to leave before anybody else follows them. They're not giving any information to other teams. They work by themselves and don't have alliances. How is any of this a problem? It might be if all of the teams were on a field trip together and D/K left without letting anyone know. I'm not sure, but I'll ask Jonathan. Yup, this is a game for a million dollars. That's a '1' followed by six '0's. Wow. If I were there, I would be doing all of those things too. This is not The Amazing Best Friends Race (holla, Jade). I just don't understand when one of the teams says, "Oh, the blondes drove off. They're so sneaky. Let's try to follow them." How does this not prove my point? D/K are running their own race. They're doing really well and other teams are trying to follow them. This should be a refreshing sight to see. How dare those fools act like it's a crime to be blonde females and do well in this race.

If you have different views on this, please email me and I will immediately stop doing my homework and have a discussion with you.

B- Why I think Bama is actually much better than the Chos were
Now, you would think that if I love the Barbies, I would hate Bama. Here's the deal.. I don't hate them. I rarely truly hate a team ever. Jonathan and Victoria are an exception. I can't even say I hate Colin and Christie because I don't.. I actually respect them.. their racing, that is. Not their interpersonal skills. I attribute a lot of Bama's success so far as luck. Many people may think this about D/K. However, Bama's the one that's been second to last many times. They've made some stupid decisions as well.

However, this leg, I've started to wonder. Was their tendency to suck at life the result of their alliance? Everytime they did poorly on a leg, they were right back there with either Kentucky or the Chos. This leg, when they finally dropped the last of their baggage, they began to race much better. I guess we'll see next leg if it looks like luck or not. I personally think the Chos were holding Bama back. They were so adament at having another team with them at all times. Maybe it was because if they didn't hold onto Bama, Bama would beat them. If they held onto Bama, they'd easily beat the two moms in a foot race. We saw that when Bama ditched the Chos, they (Bama) soar way ahead and finished the leg smoothly.

I do think Bama is playing this game as well. They're probably intimidated by D/K a little and of course see them as competition. They're a prime candidate of those who see beauty queens and write them off as weak and stupid. They probably thinks that the Barbies "think they're better than everybody else." If only they could all look at this as a success for two independent female teams. Ahh, I'm sounding all feminist right now. I'm not. I'll stop.

C- Rob and Kimberly's car trouble
I think this is the funniest thing ever. When one of the Bama girls said, "When every car you drive breaks down, maybe it's not the cars. Maybe it's you," I said YES. This is so ironic and so funny. Everything Rob touches turns to crap. They've had, what, three car breakdowns? And Rob's had a couple breakdowns alongside. This is probably the most car trouble we've seen for one team on this show. Kimberly's horse also broke that one time when it knocked her down by the throat. Haha. Maybe the TAR karma fairy wants to torture them.

D- Two all-female teams in the top 4
I just wanted to mention that it's the first time this has happened since TAR began. It's taken TEN whole seasons. The closest we've come is Season 5 when the twins were fifth and the Bowling Moms were fourth. Stupid Brandon and Nikki not being eliminated when Brandon wouldn't shave his head. I probably dislike Brandon and Nikki more than I do Colin and Christie. They're so Freddy-and-Kendra-like. Teams that have no internal conflict but fight with other teams piss me off more than teams that have a lot of internal fighting. Except Ron and Kelly. Whatever fighting they had going on, regardless, I didn't like them at all.

E- Typecasting and editing, who will be the final three, and how will they place
Shows like this always typecast for their contestants. More importantly to me, though, is how teams are edited once they're on the show. People like to say you can never predict what will happen on these shows because everything that happens is unique to this one season. I say bull. I am a Communication major and this is some of the stuff we study.

Here's the deal.. nothing on any of these reality shows is happening for the first time, the only time, or the last time. This is not a live running documentary. This is an edited, produced show. When editors are piecing together the show, they know what has happened and they are bound both by the result of the game as well as previous storylines. When something works well, you don't change it. When it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? The producers know how the viewing public responds to certain teams. They know, especially by now, what combination of teams and what storyline will work. I repeat, nothing on this show is happening for the only time.

So, that said, the final four are examples of four.. maybe three.. classic types of teams. Tyler and James, who I actually just typed out as Eric and Jere.. before I realized what I had done, are the alpha-male team. We've always had an alpha-male team in the finals, with the exception of the seasons when we weren't given one (think power couples, seasons 5-7). They're the team that's fast and often finish first a lot early on in the race. When they're also smart, in addition to being fast, they're often unbeatable (seasons 1 and 2 in particular). They usually have very little interpersonal conflict.

There's our typical power couple. This season, we have our bickering power couple. This is the Frank and Margarita (although Rob and Kim do NOT hold a candle to Frank and Margarita at all.. Frank and Margarita were awesome), Tara and Wil, Flo and Zach, Kelly and Jon/Millie and Chuck, Colin and Christie, Rebecca and Adam/Hayden and Aaron, Ron and Kelly, and MoJo. That list is the template on which Rob and Kimberly were created. I'm not saying their personas were invented. They're just a spitting image of these other teams.

There's also our underdog teams. They're the teams that you would never predict at the start of the race to make it far. I would have said Tyler and James and Rob and Kimberly preshow if I was asked who were the most likely teams to make it to the finals. I would not have predicted D/K or Bama. D/K have definitely proven to not be actual underdogs, but they are still an unlikely team as far as how their race credentials stack up. Bama is classic underdog. They're like Teri and Ian. That's my best example. They're Teri and Ian and I see a possibility of Bama sneaking in there and taking second place. I don't think they'll win, however.

Who do I think are the final three? Tyler and James, Bama, and Rob and Kimberly, probably finishing in that order, maybe with the second and third places switched. I would love to D/K in there, but I think the NEL has sealed their fate. Who knows, though. I would love to see them there, I just see them as more of the Hayden and Aaron than the Kris and Jon. It's hard to say that, but T/J, Bama, and R/K are classic final three characters. I would love if the alpha-males didn't win again, but Bama and R/K just aren't functional enough to take them out. I think D/K could do it, but unfortunately, I don't think they'll be given the chance. Please prove me wrong, please! It's just what the previews and my gut are telling me.

I won't have a "Next week on.." segment. It's all been covered. We'll see how it pans out.

Until next time..

The Amazing Race Episode 10

Last week on The Barbies are the Best All-Female Team Ever:
Teams traveled to Finland where Tyler and James and the Barbies lead the way throughout the entire leg. Rob and Kimberly missed a train by approximately 5 seconds and then proceeded to suck at life. The episode ended in a TBC as the models were almost done making their way down the tower, the Barbies were about to begin their rappel, and the other three teams were running around aimlessly.

This week on The Chos Have No Backbone:
Tyler and James make their way down the tower face first and receive their next clue that has some money and a note to continue on because the leg was not over yet. The next clue told them to go to the capital city of the country where Chernobyl is located. I immediately screamed "KIEV!" because that's one of the places I would love to go to.

The Barbies make their way down the tower and also get the next clue. They race off just behind the models. Meanwhile, the last three teams are running around like turkeys with their heads cut off. (Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!) They eventually all make it into the office to get their clue, but then run off towards the stadium in search of the rappel site. Alabama figures out to go up in the elevator first, followed by Rob/Kim, and lastly the Chos. This begins some major foreshadowing that lasts throughout this episode regarding Bama/Cho tension.

Everybody heads off to the airport. Rob is positive that Chernobyl is in Russia. Kim questions him and although he's the one who's wrong, he ends up making her look like a fool once again. This happened in episode 1 with the Thrifty parking situation, if you remember. I think it's funny.

At the airport, the models and Barbies are able to get tickets with an agent right before everything shut down for the night. They are on a flight that goes through Vienna and lands in Kiev at 1:35 the next afternoon. The back three teams arrive to find out they cannot purchase tickets until the next morning.

Come the next morning, the flight that the lead teams are on is sold out. The other three teams get a flight that connects through Warsaw and also lands in Kiev at 1:35 pm. Interesting. Somebody, maybe a Barbie, mentions that flights get delayed. This usually is used by the editors to make fun of whoever is talking. However, we are shown next that it is in fact the Warsaw connection that is delayed half an hour, putting the three teams originally in the back.. back in the back again. Haha.

The next clue has teams going to a Ukrainian military base, although the given address is gibberish to the teams. The models and Barbies get a taxi to lead them there and arrive with no setbacks.

They find a Roadblock. One team member would have to drive a tank through a military obstacle course. That's awesome. Surprisingly, Dennis and Andrew are nowhere to be found. Maybe they finally finished their FF from season 3. No way! Anyway, James and Dustin do the roadblock for their teams.

We see several shots of the two neck and neck on the course and then James stalls and Dustin pulls ahead. We also see James get covered in muddy water. Dustin makes it out of there clean, maybe even cleaner, as when she got there. Which is awesome. The Barbies always manage to stay fifty times cleaner than the models. Haha.

When they finish, teams find out they have to find apartment 33 somewhere in Kiev. Rob and Kimberly arrive next and Kimberly takes the RB. She goes through the obstacle course with no problems, I think. They head off and our lovely backpack "alliance" arrives. The Chos finish before Bama but elect to wait for Bama because they cannot do anything on their own. This is stupid. We all know it. Even Mama Cho is at home yelling at the TV for them to get a move on. Also, Godwin dirty in this task and Lyn makes it out clean. Karlyn asks her why she's clean and Lyn says probably because she was driving like a granny. See, I think Lyn is the much much more pleasant Bama team member. If she was here with someone else, I think I may like this team more. Unfortunately, she has Karlyn, the whiny woman of few smiles, as her partner.

So here begins the ridiculously agonizing montage of Chos/Bama driving and stopping every five minutes to get or confirm their directions. This is mainly because the Chos have no confidence, Erwin especially. Bama gets fed up and Karlyn wants to ditch the Chos. Lyn, however, wants to be nice back to those who were nice to her. Unfortunately, in this situation, I agree with Karlyn 100 percent. However, in the dispute, no matter what she says, I cannot bring myself to be on her side.

Rob and Kimberly at some point have car troubles. This usually means the team in trouble is passed by all other teams behind them and then proceed to mope and cry. In this case, Cho/Bama are so dysfunctional and useless that Rob/Kimberly maintain their third place spot. It's amazing, especially since those three teams were all on the same flight. They could not have been that far apart going to the RB. Suddenly, Cho/Bama seem to have fallen days behind. Stupid.

The models and Barbies find the apartment and discover the Detour. Teams have to choose between Make the Music and Find the Music. Once again, they've really run out of catchy rhyming choices, huh. In Make the Music, teams have to compose a rap about the race, using the names of all of the countries they've been to thus far. They have to don complete head-to-toe thugged out gear and rap to an audience of Kiev's underground hip hop movement participants. It's an amazing detour choice. Barbies choose it. In Find the Music, teams have to find a sheet of music for Tchaikovsky's Concert Fantasy for Piano and Orchestra. Once they have found this, they will have to search for a pianist in the conservatory's many practice rooms, who will play the piece for them and then give them their clue. This choice is not only find a needle in a haystack once, but basically find a needle in a haystack twice. For some reason, Tyler and James choose this option.

Now, the Barbies make probably their only mistake this leg. Instead of writing their rap while driving to the hip hop place, they just kind of come up with the first line and then write the rest once they're suited up. They should have used the time in the car like the later teams did.

We see the Barbies in gear and it's funny and sweet. They do as good of a job as is really possible, really putting themselves out there to look like fools. It's nice and they have fun and are entertaining, so they get their clue.

Tyler and James seem to find the sheet music fairly quickly and then find a pianist without too much trouble. They also get their clue and head off.

The models and Barbies are in a race to the pitstop. The models want to win because this would prevent the Barbies from winning three in a row. Would that have been a record or did Colin and Christie win three in a row on their race? There was that one time they had that flight that was like a hundred hours before everybody else's. I hear they're going to be on TAR All-Stars. Not that I was a Colin and Christie fan. It's just really hard to not admit that they were some of the best racers this show has had.

Anyway, so the models and Barbies are racing up and it's.. the models! Tyler and James, you are team number 1. You win a trip to somewhere that you can enjoy after the race. Sweet. The Barbies arrive next and are team number 2.

Rob and Kimberly elect to do Make the Music and Kimberly writes up something that rhymes, which she figures is good enough. We see them rapping and Kimberly looks so not enthused, but they seem to have a good time and do fine. They get their clue and leave. They are obviously team number 3.

Then we have Trainwreck Central. Yes, I love the term Trainwreck. Just because it describes so many reality TV contestants. And because just like actual trainwrecks, they're both horrifying to watch and impossible not to. Anyway, so Trainwreck Central. Erwin gets out of the car every five seconds to check their directions on route to apartment 33. Finally, Bama gets so fed up that they speed off. Funny thing is, the Chos tail Bama all the way to the next clue. Wouldn't it have been more efficient to let Bama lead? Hmmm. Idiots.

There's some talk amongst the Chos about how they're nice and stuff but Bama's willing to play dirty. Get off this show and go join the circus. You can be nice there, but this here is a race, kids. A race! Who would've thought..

Bama chooses to Make the Music and Chos choose to follow Bama. When they lose them, they choose to do Find the Music because most people don't know where the hip hop place is but know where the conservatory is. Karlyn writes up a rap on the way to the detour location. If the Chos did this one, I guarantee they would not have come up with two lines before arriving at the hip hop place, all confused.

Bama performs their rap and actually cheats their way through it. While the other two who chose this detour seemed to talk about all of the locations that they went to, Bama listed all of the countries quickly and then talked about how they would spend the money. The crowd seemed to think this was the best rap ever, though, probably because these were the only two black people who had performed for them ever. We know they're racist.. remember the dude who told Jaeda he didn't like black chicks? No, I'm not actually saying they were racist. I just wish it was pointed out that Bama took the easy way out. Whatever. I just don't like Bama. And this is huge because I liked them pre-show. As seen with BB6 and Ivette, it takes a lot before I will admit my pre-show favorites suck. I went maybe a month before admitting that Ivette was horrible.

At some point, Chos arrive at their detour option and their performance is glazed over, so we really don't know how long they took. They race towards the pitstop. There's a lot of faux anticipation building, but we all know Bama will arrive next. I'm actually happy because the Chos are pitiful. Horrendous.

Bama is team number 4. Chos arrive at night, two weeks later or something. They may or may not talk about being honorable again. I don't care because I will address it now anyway. Here's the deal. The Chos are not honorable people. This is how they roll: they don't care how far behind they are as long as there's another weaker team with them. They travel with the weaker team the entire leg. If they are one of the last teams, they know they will outrun the other team. This is dirty, dirty playing. Don't try to appear like saints. Don't. You're only upset because all of a sudden you have to play this game by yourself. You have to make your decisions and all of the credit as well as all of the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. Good riddance. These fools should have been gone episode 1 when they were last at the roadblock.

Next week on The Amazing Race:
I haven't seen the preview, but I imagine it's a NEL? Maybe not, though.. I'm lost on the timeline for this season. If the finale is in three weeks, there's definitely a NEL. If not, there still may be. We don't know how many teams will be left on finale night. I won't say who I think is going home because I don't want to jinx the Barbies. They're the first headstrong independent all-female team and they really deserve a shot at this. They're of the winner caliber. We'll see.

Until next time..

The Amazing Race Episode 9

Previously on TAR:
- Teams traveled from Mauritius to Madagascar.
- The Intersection was introduced in a last-ditch attempt at saving David and Mary.
- Tyler and James and Rob and Kimberly choked on the Fast Forward, coming in after the Barbies, in second and third place respectively.
- The Barbies rocked that leg.
- Bama barely moved faster than a slow crawl because they knew they would definitely beat Kentucky's half hour penalty.
- Kentucky went home.

This week:
- Apparently Madagascar is the 4th largest island. I'm not sure why I was surprised, because thinking about it now, Madagascar is pretty big compared to Crete and stuff. I'm assuming Antarctica and Australia are considered continents and not islands. Greenland's pretty big. Anyway.. unimportant.

- Clue: Go to Helsinki, Finland, log onto aol.com to get the next clue. Tickets to Paris are provided, due to the lack of flights leaving Madagascar on any given day. Teams then have to book their own travel from then on, and they do not have to keep the Paris tickets, which put them on a flight that leaves in like 16 hours.
- Beginning of the leg observations: The Barbies are awesome. Kimberly washed her hair. The Chos are stupid.. this isn't friend camp.
- The first four teams manage to figure out it's faster to go through Johannesburg. It looks like Bama won't make it, but then the TAR fairy appears after having just finished having brunch with Rob and Brennan, Flo and Zach, Chip and Kim, and Uchenna and Joyce (all winning teams who noteably had some visits from the TAR fairy). They let them on the plane five minutes after it already departed or something. They flew them up in a hovercraft and dropped them into open seats.
- Karlyn actually smiles. Make note of this. I think this is smile number 3 so far this season.
- A little bit of Cho/Bama tension. Foreshadowing.
- Hmmm I wonder who the sponsor is. Teams get to see messages from home. The best one is when they show a Chos' girlfriend and then for the other one, it's his mother and sister.. who are actually both of their mother and sister. I just thought it was funny. It was like haha you are single. No one wants to be with you right now. Maybe not exactly.. I just thought it was funny.

- The family members give the next clue, which tells them to go to the cafe manager or something. Clue: Go to the city of Tampere via train and then taxi.
- Bama totally breaks down. They're the last ones there and I have to say the children are adorable. Lyn's three children read the clue together really slowly so they can be in unison and it's cute.
- All teams get on the same train.
- Barbies and Models "flirt"? I'm not quite sure because they're both aware of how important it is to play their own strong games. I think they kind of just pretend to lead each other on. I am so glad the Barbies are not Megan & Heidi, Dani & Danielle, Heather & Eve, etc. They know that nobody comes on a race for a million dollars to find a hot guy to hook up with. They don't cling to other teams for help.. they do it themselves. And frankly, if they did decide to use other teams for help, they would be wasting time because these two are very efficient.
- The Barbies and Models get off the train first and quickly find cabs parked in front of the station. The rest of them have to go to where there's a line, or as that part of the world says it, a queue. Kim and Rob ask a couple if they could please cut in line because it's an emergency and the couple says okay. This is fine and for once this team doesn't seem like the asses. Then, Bama proceeds to do the same thing, minus the asking for permission. They rudely jump into a cab as someone else is trying to get in and say, "Thank you sir!" in an obnoxious tone. Can it, Bama. The Chos then bitch about being polite and how it's gonna cost them. No, Chos, what's gonna cost you is this inability to work by yourself, for yourself, without concerning yourself with carrying the weaker teams around.

- Barbies and Models do a pointless race to the clue box, where they both find the Detour: Swamp This or Swamp That (they have run out of catchy ideas). In Swamp This, teams have to put on skis and go trekking through the swampy mud. In Swamp That, teams have to crawl through an obstacle course, at one point where one member has to carry the other. Both teams have to climb over a fence at one point and jump into the heavy quicksand-consistency mud.
- Teams that do Swamp This: Barbies and Bama. Teams that do Swamp That: Models, Rob/Kim, Chos.

- Tyler/James narrowly edge out the Barbies a finish the challenge first. They receive the next Clue: Take a train to Turku. Then drive 74 miles to Lorja.
- The Models decide to change clothes before getting in their car, but the Barbies don't because they're not prima donnas like the boys. Also, is it just me, or did the Barbies just not get dirty at all? In the short of them in their taxi right after the challenge, they look like they just spent thirty minutes shopping.
- At one point, Rob says something to the effect that Kim was heavy, or difficult to carry. She says, "Are you calling me fat?" Best part, there's no exchange after that. Rob doesn't say no, neither of them laugh, and Kim doesn't get angry either. I thought it was hilarious.
- Barbies and Models make the train and stand there urging it to hurry up and move. Usually, this is where the TAR fairy comes along and helps the back end teams out a little. Not this time. In an excellent display, Rob and Kimberly arrive in time to see the train leaving the station. It's fantastic.
- By the way, Kimberly's freshly showered look from earlier? Gone. She looks rough once again.
- In a strange exchange, Rob and Kimberly try to go past Bama/Cho on the train to go back to their seats and Bama/Cho are standing up for some reason and Bama goes on and on about "no party train with Rob and Kim."
- The Models find the next place and go into a mine, which is a classic example of doing something reminiscent of a former contestant. In this show and some others, the episode after a contestant leaves, there's a challenge that is something he/she would have loved or exceled at. This is a David challenge.
- Barbies have to wait because they don't quite find the marked flag as quickly.
- There is Bama/Cho tension again. Foreshadowing.
- Roadblock at the bottom of the mine ride: Bike into the mine, get a block of limestone, ride back up and break it open to get the clue, which is in a vile/container.
- Rob calls Bama Frick and Frack.
- James and Kandice do the Roadblock.
- James finds the clue first: Drive to Helsinki Olympic Stadium.
- Rob tries to drive into the mine. Chos and Bama find the mine clue before Rob and Kim.
- Models get to the Olympic Stadium first but go into the stadium and cannot find the marked flag, which is on a door outside of the stadium.
- Finally they find the clue: Go to the top of the tower. They find out they have to rappel down the tower face first. Excellent. One of the models is scared.
- Rob and Kim are a trainwreck as they fail to spot the marked door yet again when it seems they've right behind Chos/Bama, who spot it quickly. Rob and Kim display major trainwreck signs.
- After numerous mentions this episode by the contestants of how they're getting close to the pitstop, of course we have a TBC. It was about time.. I assumed it was time leg since it wasn't last leg. The Models get a clue after finishing rappeling and the Barbies are in the process of getting suited up and starting the rappel. Rob and Kimberly are cut off in this episode looking like a total trainwreck.

Next week: Tank time with Dennis and Andrew. I wouldn't be surprised if they were still in there, hoping to get the fast forward that will same them from behind five hundred hours behind. I think the Chos are toast next week. There's major foreshadowing of Bama screwing over the Chos and taking the final four spot. If so, this would mean two all-female teams in the final four. Would be a TAR first. And I'm crossing my fingers for a Rob and Kim trainwreck. Nothing is funnier.

Until next time..

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The Amazing Race Episode 8

Last Week on The Amazing Race:
- Barbies came in first place!
- David and Mary started in first place, but stupidly chose to switch detours after everybody had already left, leaving them in last place.
- David and Mary were saved by a NEL again.
- The producers like David and Mary.
- Barbies and Rob/Kimberly had car trouble.
- Barbies and Alabama fought over basically nothing.
- The "Six Pack" alliance openly share information with each other and help each other in challenges. When someone not in their alliance wants to share information or help someone else, the Six Pack throws a tantrum.
- I'm getting real tired of this friends-over-race thing.

This Week on The Amazing Race:
(Apologies.. I've only seen the episode once, when it aired, on a non-rewindable TV. This is all from memory.)

Teams go from Mauritius to Madagascar.

A new twist, the Intersection, is introduced. Here's my shpiel. It's an interesting idea, but wouldn't it have been a better idea to introduce it earlier when there were more teams, thus more than three pairs of teams? I think the producers put it here in an episode after a NEL so there would be a possibility that the team marked for elimination could escape the penalty by teaming up with a possibly stronger team. I also think it's paired with a fast forward for this same reason.

I do not like that the Intersection punishes teams who arrive significantly before another team and have to wait there for the lagging team to arrive. This happened to the Barbies today. Also, the Intersection introduces the idea that teams should rely on one another. I don't like this either. Never has this show been pegged as a show where teams are encouraged to trust and befriend other teams. That's not the premise of the show. It made for good TV and the result was similar to what would have happened sans Intersection, so I guess I have no real complaints.

Interestingly, the Fast Forward was a dual-team challenge. The first pair of teams to finish the Fast Forward would earn the right to skip all remaining tasks and go directly to the pitstop. I was glad that this FF was one of the more complex FFs of the race's history. It stressed the idea that the FF is a risk and never a guaranteed win. Tonight's episode was maybe the fourth time only that a team did not finish first after taking a FF. Guidos, Dennis and Andrew, Monica and Sheree come to mind. I think it was the Supremes.. I'm not positive, but one team took a FF on the first leg when they were in the second bunch of teams, and were too far behind the first bunch that they only managed fourth place with the FF.

This week's Fast Forward had teams eat a plate of cow lips to earn the pass to the pitstop. According to my dad, Chinese people (and probably other Asians) eat this quite often and it's not at all disgusting. My dad is also known for eating "thousand year old eggs," which just look icky, but aren't that old.. and my mom is known for eating fish eyes. (She would have rocked at the first roadblock this season.) If they wanted to go on Fear Factor, they would own the eating tasks.

I really think the most disgusting part of this eating challenge was the cow mouths that were hanging all over the place and the smell of raw meat in the air from the shops around them. There isn't any disgusting puking scene a la Soupgate Season 6 when Victoria, Aaron, and Freddy all chucked all over the place. All we see is the males beefing themselves up as they're eating, high-fiving and commenting on how good they would place, and Kimberly looking miserable the entire time, gagging every once in awhile.

I know most people hate Rob and Kimberly. I mostly do, too, but they're such the token dating couple. They're a cumulation of nine previous seasons worth of arguing, Floing, and bitching. Somehow, this season, the fighting dating couple is hilarious to me. Maybe it's because all of the arguing has been done before, or maybe it's how they argue. Maybe it's because they're equally annoying. It's not one partner tearing apart the other like with Peter and Sarah or the infamous Jonathan and Victoria (who had a baby recently that they gave a horrible name). It's equal complaining, equal yelling. I think it would make a huge difference if Kimberly cried after they argued. Either she doesn't or they don't show it at all. So it's just funny how dysfunctional they are. That's how I view Rob and Kimberly.. they're hilarious.

Anyway, meanwhile, Barbies beg the Chos to work with them because they don't get along with Alabama or Kentucky. Chos whine about having to compete against their friends and alliancemates. Shut up, Chos.. this isn't summer camp.

These two pairs of teams arrive at the Detour. The choices are A.) put a fitted sheet on eight mattresses and carry them through crowded streets to make a delivery to locals, or B.) make a million handcrafted pieces of fancy paper. This episode, teams are not stupid like last episode, and choose to do the more physical task instead of the more tedious time-consuming ridiculous task.

Barbies and Chos are off before the Four Pack. Barbies are carrying four mattresses and Chos are carrying four. Chos mention one or both of them worked for a moving company. Why, then, didn't they pair one Cho brother with one Barbie? Wouldn't that be more efficient? Who knows. Either way, they do okay. They get a local to direct them, until they appear to lose the local at some point. At which time they stand around for way too long asking where their guide went. Then someone realizes they know where they're trying to deliver to and can just ask someone else which way to go. They get their clue that tells them they are no longer bound to the other team. Which means the Barbies can now fly ahead and the Cho brothers can once again be in the Back Pack.

Alabama and Kentucky are having a little more trouble. Their idea of efficient was carrying all of the mattresses at once. They manage to use two fanny packs as rope to tie the mattresses together. I don't think enough people appreciate the humor of this. Fanny Packs.. still useful, yet still unappealing. For some reason, while Barbies and Chos were able to travel along sidewalks of some sort, our unintentionally hilarious Four Pack decides to navigate through traffic, which yes, includes running cars. There are scenes where mattresses are on top of cars with people in them, or mattresses are wedged between two cars. It's great.

So Barbies are first to the Roadblock. They are really owning this leg. Dustin does the Roadblock, in which one team member must locate four vendors along the busy street who have a particular stamp that corresponds to four vehicles (plane, train, bus, car?) that are provided on a sheet of paper. Once they match the four stamps, they will have to get to the pitstop where their teammate is already waiting. I like this.

Chos get there after Dustin has already found one or two stamps. They ask if she's found the clue and she either says 'no' or ignore them. While it seems a little mean, the Barbies aren't here to play the friend game. Also, if Dustin is by herself, doesn't it seem reasonable to assume she's doing the roadblock? Just my opinion. Anyway, Godwin decides to do it.

So we see Kandice and Erwin waiting at the pitstop. We see clips of the Fast Forwarders making their way to the pitstop once they finish the cow lips. Dustin finishes getting her stamps and rushes to the pitstop as well. Then, editors actually do a good job in convincing us that the FFers make it to the pitstop before Dustin. But in actuality, Dustin runs toward the pitstop and Kandice gets excited. They go to Phil and he tells them that they're in 1st place. Yay! They proceed to get really excited and mention that a group went for the FF. Yes, Barbies, you beat the FFers.. you were that good. They win a trip for two to Hawaii.

Erwin is sitting there still and we think maybe Godwin will arrive next. Nope. It's the FFers. Tyler and James arrive in second and possibly think that Rob and Kimberly were in front of them, but either way, they're pretty happy. Then Rob and Kimberly arrive and look disappointed at having taken longer to complete one task than the Barbies were at completing two. Well, it happens.

Next, Godwin appears and the Chos are fourth.

David and Mary arrive at the roadblock first and Mary performs it. Alabama strolls in sometime later and Lyn does it. Why are Alabama strolling? Partially because this is how excited they are typically and partially because they know they can take their time and still beat David and Mary's thirty minute penalty time. So Mary finishes first and she and David step onto the mat in fifth, but have to wait out their penalty. Lyn arrives sometime after and they step onto the mat in fifth and David and Mary have to step on the mat in last place. This means goodbye David and Mary.

It was fun while it lasted, Kentucky. I will miss the Kentucky of two episodes ago, where they were genuinely excited to do everything and in less of a giving-up mood.

Next time on The Amazing Race: People jump into quicksand? People roll in barrels? (No, actually that may have been Survivor.)

Until next time..