The Amazing Race 11 Episode 1

This week on The Worst Ending Ever:
We're back! Ten of the most memorable teams to ever run The Amazing Race are back. There's also this pretend team running around like they deserve to be there.

Let's start off by saying I'm really pissed. I've calmed down since the show aired a week ago, but I'm still pretty pissed. CBS made a plane come back to the gate. How could they have not stolen Eric and Danielle's car engine or something?

As far as the teams go, nobody really did anything unexpected or out of character. Unfortunately, true to character, John Vito and Jill had trouble with directions. Eric and Danielle were annoying. Ian said "Hoorah" like five times. Rob and Amber ran a great leg. Mirna talked in her own dialect, which I call The Mirna, or Mirnian. It's weird how the spell check on this campus computer knows the word "Mirna." I guess it's a real language.

So yeah, nothing was particularly out of character. Except I love how the teams all know each other and some are fans of each other. Danny and Oswald wanted to take care of Charla and Mirna, which is nice. Rob actually stopped the shuttle for Danny and Oswald who led them to the airport. That might have been a little surprising although I've always thought Rob was a decent guy. Just look at how he treats Amber. She's like his princess. I've always thought it was sweet when a tough guy like Rob treats his girl really well. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. He adores her. You don't see that very often anymore these days. So it's nice.

The first challenge of the race is figuring out that American will arrive first even though it departs later. I'm surprised that so many of the leading teams figured this out almost intuitively.
This leg was basically a blur with a bunch of running teams and no real tough tasks. I won't go through all the minor details because I'm lazy and it would just piss me off. Basically, at some point, John Vito and Jill get really really lost. Drew manages to trip on nothing and twist is leg or something. The two of them are really annoying for this leg and actually get a flat tire which they disregard and continue driving. Actually, Drew is so out of shape, Charla beats him in the initial foot race. Charla's really pleased about it. And she should be.

Rob and Amber run a really clean race. My friend thinks Amber's had some work done on her face, but watching the show, I don't really see it. Teri, on the other hand.. her eyebrows are in a suspicious location relative to the rest of her face. She mentions at one point that "Mirna and Shmirna" are coming and wonders if they have a show nickname. I'm pretty sure it was the Asshat and his wife back in their season. I don't know, I don't mind them that much.

We find out in the episode that John Vito and Jill are open to reconnecting. Which is great news because like any other JV and Jill fan, I want them to live happily ever after and have gorgeous babies. Speaking of babies.. apparently Uchenna and Joyce's marriage is one the rocks again. Not that they seemed to have any problems in their previous season when they said they were having problems. They still haven't had the baby and I think it's really time for adoption. Joyce is 48, I believe, and why they're not getting pregnant could be affected by her age. Starting at 25, women's egg supply begins to decrease. I read it in Time Magazine like three years ago.

We find out that Eric and Danielle have a perhaps not so 50-50 relationship. He says he's the boss and she repeats to us that he's the boss. Although I guess if I were in a relationship with someone like Danielle, I would want to be the boss, too, in fear that she may lead us to the North Pole.

Mary and David, America's favorites from last season, are back on the show to act as the crazy fans that run around asking for autographs. They mention that they're fans of a lot of the teams, which is nice, because it means they've really been watching the show. David is so excited to meet Rob and Amber that he calls them Rob and Kim, which is a huge diss. He apologizes and it's kinda funny because he's like a little kid meeting Michael Jordan or something.

Mary and David, on the other hand, are not pleased to see Dustin and Kandace, two of the greatest female racers of the show. I am very happy, though. The Barbies run a clean first leg, nothing spectacular but no real mistakes.

I want to give a shoutout to Kris and Jon and Colin and Christie. Wish you all were on the race. Rob and Amber are in a different league than most of the other teams. If CBS was looking for a good match-up, they would have given Rob and Amber some competition besides Dustin and Kandace.

Charla and Mirna, by the way, were completely predictable in this leg. They found their own local tour guide, which they were always great at doing. Mirna talked in her own language the whole leg. They both really just wanted other racers to like them, and were pleased when Danny and Oswald helped them out.

Guidos were pretty tame this week. They made a crack about how they're just two gay grandpas on this race and nobody should be that afraid of them. They also joked about Rob and Amber having their own television network. I'm most surprised that the Guido dog is still alive. It has been quite a few years since their season. Glad to see their mascot is still around.

Did I miss anyone? Well, if I did, they just weren't memorable. Next week's recap will be a better attempt at covering what actually happened. Unless my next favorite team gets the ax, I'll be in a much better mood about the episode.