Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Amazing Race Episode 10

Last week on The Barbies are the Best All-Female Team Ever:
Teams traveled to Finland where Tyler and James and the Barbies lead the way throughout the entire leg. Rob and Kimberly missed a train by approximately 5 seconds and then proceeded to suck at life. The episode ended in a TBC as the models were almost done making their way down the tower, the Barbies were about to begin their rappel, and the other three teams were running around aimlessly.

This week on The Chos Have No Backbone:
Tyler and James make their way down the tower face first and receive their next clue that has some money and a note to continue on because the leg was not over yet. The next clue told them to go to the capital city of the country where Chernobyl is located. I immediately screamed "KIEV!" because that's one of the places I would love to go to.

The Barbies make their way down the tower and also get the next clue. They race off just behind the models. Meanwhile, the last three teams are running around like turkeys with their heads cut off. (Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!) They eventually all make it into the office to get their clue, but then run off towards the stadium in search of the rappel site. Alabama figures out to go up in the elevator first, followed by Rob/Kim, and lastly the Chos. This begins some major foreshadowing that lasts throughout this episode regarding Bama/Cho tension.

Everybody heads off to the airport. Rob is positive that Chernobyl is in Russia. Kim questions him and although he's the one who's wrong, he ends up making her look like a fool once again. This happened in episode 1 with the Thrifty parking situation, if you remember. I think it's funny.

At the airport, the models and Barbies are able to get tickets with an agent right before everything shut down for the night. They are on a flight that goes through Vienna and lands in Kiev at 1:35 the next afternoon. The back three teams arrive to find out they cannot purchase tickets until the next morning.

Come the next morning, the flight that the lead teams are on is sold out. The other three teams get a flight that connects through Warsaw and also lands in Kiev at 1:35 pm. Interesting. Somebody, maybe a Barbie, mentions that flights get delayed. This usually is used by the editors to make fun of whoever is talking. However, we are shown next that it is in fact the Warsaw connection that is delayed half an hour, putting the three teams originally in the back.. back in the back again. Haha.

The next clue has teams going to a Ukrainian military base, although the given address is gibberish to the teams. The models and Barbies get a taxi to lead them there and arrive with no setbacks.

They find a Roadblock. One team member would have to drive a tank through a military obstacle course. That's awesome. Surprisingly, Dennis and Andrew are nowhere to be found. Maybe they finally finished their FF from season 3. No way! Anyway, James and Dustin do the roadblock for their teams.

We see several shots of the two neck and neck on the course and then James stalls and Dustin pulls ahead. We also see James get covered in muddy water. Dustin makes it out of there clean, maybe even cleaner, as when she got there. Which is awesome. The Barbies always manage to stay fifty times cleaner than the models. Haha.

When they finish, teams find out they have to find apartment 33 somewhere in Kiev. Rob and Kimberly arrive next and Kimberly takes the RB. She goes through the obstacle course with no problems, I think. They head off and our lovely backpack "alliance" arrives. The Chos finish before Bama but elect to wait for Bama because they cannot do anything on their own. This is stupid. We all know it. Even Mama Cho is at home yelling at the TV for them to get a move on. Also, Godwin dirty in this task and Lyn makes it out clean. Karlyn asks her why she's clean and Lyn says probably because she was driving like a granny. See, I think Lyn is the much much more pleasant Bama team member. If she was here with someone else, I think I may like this team more. Unfortunately, she has Karlyn, the whiny woman of few smiles, as her partner.

So here begins the ridiculously agonizing montage of Chos/Bama driving and stopping every five minutes to get or confirm their directions. This is mainly because the Chos have no confidence, Erwin especially. Bama gets fed up and Karlyn wants to ditch the Chos. Lyn, however, wants to be nice back to those who were nice to her. Unfortunately, in this situation, I agree with Karlyn 100 percent. However, in the dispute, no matter what she says, I cannot bring myself to be on her side.

Rob and Kimberly at some point have car troubles. This usually means the team in trouble is passed by all other teams behind them and then proceed to mope and cry. In this case, Cho/Bama are so dysfunctional and useless that Rob/Kimberly maintain their third place spot. It's amazing, especially since those three teams were all on the same flight. They could not have been that far apart going to the RB. Suddenly, Cho/Bama seem to have fallen days behind. Stupid.

The models and Barbies find the apartment and discover the Detour. Teams have to choose between Make the Music and Find the Music. Once again, they've really run out of catchy rhyming choices, huh. In Make the Music, teams have to compose a rap about the race, using the names of all of the countries they've been to thus far. They have to don complete head-to-toe thugged out gear and rap to an audience of Kiev's underground hip hop movement participants. It's an amazing detour choice. Barbies choose it. In Find the Music, teams have to find a sheet of music for Tchaikovsky's Concert Fantasy for Piano and Orchestra. Once they have found this, they will have to search for a pianist in the conservatory's many practice rooms, who will play the piece for them and then give them their clue. This choice is not only find a needle in a haystack once, but basically find a needle in a haystack twice. For some reason, Tyler and James choose this option.

Now, the Barbies make probably their only mistake this leg. Instead of writing their rap while driving to the hip hop place, they just kind of come up with the first line and then write the rest once they're suited up. They should have used the time in the car like the later teams did.

We see the Barbies in gear and it's funny and sweet. They do as good of a job as is really possible, really putting themselves out there to look like fools. It's nice and they have fun and are entertaining, so they get their clue.

Tyler and James seem to find the sheet music fairly quickly and then find a pianist without too much trouble. They also get their clue and head off.

The models and Barbies are in a race to the pitstop. The models want to win because this would prevent the Barbies from winning three in a row. Would that have been a record or did Colin and Christie win three in a row on their race? There was that one time they had that flight that was like a hundred hours before everybody else's. I hear they're going to be on TAR All-Stars. Not that I was a Colin and Christie fan. It's just really hard to not admit that they were some of the best racers this show has had.

Anyway, so the models and Barbies are racing up and it's.. the models! Tyler and James, you are team number 1. You win a trip to somewhere that you can enjoy after the race. Sweet. The Barbies arrive next and are team number 2.

Rob and Kimberly elect to do Make the Music and Kimberly writes up something that rhymes, which she figures is good enough. We see them rapping and Kimberly looks so not enthused, but they seem to have a good time and do fine. They get their clue and leave. They are obviously team number 3.

Then we have Trainwreck Central. Yes, I love the term Trainwreck. Just because it describes so many reality TV contestants. And because just like actual trainwrecks, they're both horrifying to watch and impossible not to. Anyway, so Trainwreck Central. Erwin gets out of the car every five seconds to check their directions on route to apartment 33. Finally, Bama gets so fed up that they speed off. Funny thing is, the Chos tail Bama all the way to the next clue. Wouldn't it have been more efficient to let Bama lead? Hmmm. Idiots.

There's some talk amongst the Chos about how they're nice and stuff but Bama's willing to play dirty. Get off this show and go join the circus. You can be nice there, but this here is a race, kids. A race! Who would've thought..

Bama chooses to Make the Music and Chos choose to follow Bama. When they lose them, they choose to do Find the Music because most people don't know where the hip hop place is but know where the conservatory is. Karlyn writes up a rap on the way to the detour location. If the Chos did this one, I guarantee they would not have come up with two lines before arriving at the hip hop place, all confused.

Bama performs their rap and actually cheats their way through it. While the other two who chose this detour seemed to talk about all of the locations that they went to, Bama listed all of the countries quickly and then talked about how they would spend the money. The crowd seemed to think this was the best rap ever, though, probably because these were the only two black people who had performed for them ever. We know they're racist.. remember the dude who told Jaeda he didn't like black chicks? No, I'm not actually saying they were racist. I just wish it was pointed out that Bama took the easy way out. Whatever. I just don't like Bama. And this is huge because I liked them pre-show. As seen with BB6 and Ivette, it takes a lot before I will admit my pre-show favorites suck. I went maybe a month before admitting that Ivette was horrible.

At some point, Chos arrive at their detour option and their performance is glazed over, so we really don't know how long they took. They race towards the pitstop. There's a lot of faux anticipation building, but we all know Bama will arrive next. I'm actually happy because the Chos are pitiful. Horrendous.

Bama is team number 4. Chos arrive at night, two weeks later or something. They may or may not talk about being honorable again. I don't care because I will address it now anyway. Here's the deal. The Chos are not honorable people. This is how they roll: they don't care how far behind they are as long as there's another weaker team with them. They travel with the weaker team the entire leg. If they are one of the last teams, they know they will outrun the other team. This is dirty, dirty playing. Don't try to appear like saints. Don't. You're only upset because all of a sudden you have to play this game by yourself. You have to make your decisions and all of the credit as well as all of the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. Good riddance. These fools should have been gone episode 1 when they were last at the roadblock.

Next week on The Amazing Race:
I haven't seen the preview, but I imagine it's a NEL? Maybe not, though.. I'm lost on the timeline for this season. If the finale is in three weeks, there's definitely a NEL. If not, there still may be. We don't know how many teams will be left on finale night. I won't say who I think is going home because I don't want to jinx the Barbies. They're the first headstrong independent all-female team and they really deserve a shot at this. They're of the winner caliber. We'll see.

Until next time..

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