Survivor Episode 11

Clip of the Week:


Last week on Good Things Do Not Come To Those Who Suck:
Aitu continued smashing Raro to pieces. Raro continued being obnoxious and unsupportive. For the entire episode, Rebecca couldn't care less. After losing immunity, Raro was given a bottle with a note inside. Everybody thought it would be flowers and sunshine, except for Parvati who reasoned that good things do not come to those who suck. Raro voted out Rebecca and then the special twist sent Jenny away as well. Our jury is now three Raro members strong.

This week on The Best Season of Survivor Since The Amazon:
Was this the week where Candice and Adam were kissing in the hut or am I just having an impossible time getting that image out of my head? Disgusting. Oh, at some point, Jonathan is catching fish and the rest of Raro is sleeping. Which is exactly what I would be doing. The punk decided to come over to Raro unwelcomed. Let him fish if he thinks it's keeping him alive. I think that's part of it. A lot of it is also the fact that other people have sucked more than him.

Oh, by the way, this is my favorite episode ever. I was so excited when I found out Nate was voted off, I'm surprised I've waited this long to write up the recap. It has something to do with all the traveling and only watching the episode once. Believe me, I will be seeing it again, but not just yet. Finals are creeping up on me real fast. Not that this recap is about my boring life. The clip of the week might have to be when Nate was voted off. It's not particularly action-packed and exciting in that way, but it's funny and awesome and exciting in it's own amazing way.

Anyway, so when Jonathan gets back from catching fish and attaching them to his crotch, he finds his tribe sitting around and pretending to try to start a fire. Excellent. This is how I see it.. if someone else is willing to do the work and there are many other slackers, why do the work? I'm not one of those people who sees Survivor as an actual game of surviving in the wild. It's a game of surviving the social, strategic, and intellectual aspects.

Jonathan's pissed nonetheless and pisses and moans. Nate continues to be an ass and says Jonathan should just be a servant like he's meant to be because he's so far down in the food chain that if he doesn't watch out, he'll get eaten. Can it, Nate. Let's see where you are in the food chain once this episode is over. I watch most of these shows knowing what happened as I'm watching. This is because I'm on the west coast when I'm at school-home and I often watch shows a day or two late. I always have to know what happened, so when I'm actually watching the show, sometimes I like to mock the contestants with what I know about the outcome. Of course, I'm talking to the contestants through my TV screen and it's totally me who's the lame one, but still.

We are shown like five seconds of life on Aitu beach. Apparently Yul feels like crap because ass-kicking takes a toll on you after awhile. His legs are beat and Sundra's are all cut up too. This is too bad, but I think the only reason this was shown was because there's never any controversy at Aitu camp. They're always off working efficiently and getting things done and getting along. There's really nothing to show to an audience that loves yelling and fighting and drama drama drama.

So tribes arrive for the reward challenge. Jeff tells Aitu that both Rebecca and Jenny were voted off and Aitu is shocked that two are gone. Probably at the same time, they're thinking that if it was them, they would be down to two. Of course, that was never a possibility because the probability of them losing was like one in a gazillion. So apparently since Raro sucks at life, this reward challenge they don't even have to play in. They just get the reward: not having to compete against Aitu anymore and getting their asses handed to them. It's a merge. They get new buffs and paints and a new tribe flag.

I really think this is the mark of a good season when nothing is shown of the naming of the new tribe, the painting of the new flag, or any of that useless filler. They had so much interesting footage to show that we don't really even know what the new tribe name is. Parvati mentions it once during the IC, but I didn't really catch it. Aitutonga or something? A combination the two tribes.. typical. In bad seasons, though, they'll put in a big clip of people bickering about the tribe name and somebody painting the flag all pretty and special. Not this time. This season is the best thing since The Amazon and I'm probably just glorifying that season because I haven't seen it in a long time. It probably wasn't even this great. I love this season. Survivor hasn't jumped the shark. It is here to stay.

So they have to decide where to live and Raro wants Aitu to come to their beach. Yul wants an educated decision, so he asks Candice and Jonathan who have seen both camps. They say Raro camp is better, with more food and less rats. Of course this is Jonathan speaking, Mr. Rat Central, so who knows. There's a floating party of fun waiting for the new tribe as they are sent off to Raro beach. The younger Raro fools party too much and drink so much that they puke, which, thank you for not showing us, editors. Aitu is wise and sits back and watches and waits for Raro to accidentally spill all of their dirty secrets.

This is the point where Jonathan informs us that they are playing for a million dollars. What a shocker. Really, I thought they were playing for a dollar and a free pizza. Then Jonathan tells us that a million dollars is a '1' followed by six '0's. Amazing. Give this man a free cheeseburger, he knows his numbers! Oh, and at some point, Yul talks about how he would love to get to know the members of Raro that he doesn't know yet. Everybody agrees that he's a true gentleman or something and then they continue to party.

Wow, I should really do what I'm supposed to be doing. So Nate and Ozzy have some man-crush deal going on where they both recognize how awesome Ozzy is. Haha. I'm not insinuating anything actually. A man-crush is what I call two people really wanting to be friends. Anyway, so Ozzy also recognizes that he should be faithful to Aitu, which is great because it's so true. If you could pick between Yul and Nate to be aligned with, it's Yul all the way. Yul has the brainpower and the loyalty to carry the Aitu four straight to victory. I'm sure there's worry about the Yul-Becky bond, but honestly, it's too early for that. Ozzy can easily take the individual immunities to secure his own spot in the finals. Don't worry, Ozz-man. Stay with Yul!

Speaking of Yul. He and Becky are scheming and I'm glad to finally see some of this. This here is two extremely intelligent people talking pure strategy with one another. They have complete faith in each other that their bond is strong and trust that they will always have each others' backs. And whether or not there's any attraction between the two, they're dealing strictly business in this game. They recognize that there's a time for relationships.. outside of the game. I really like these two.

They're talking about whether they should tell the other Aitu kids about Yul having the idol. It's decided that this is a great time to do it. Yul first runs into Sundra and tells her. She's of course excited and then she and Becky dance around excitedly, which is awesome. Exactly how I feel, girls. Then they run into Ozzy and let him know. Yul manages to deliver the news in a way that neither of the two question why he kept this information from them for so long, or why Becky knew so much earlier than them. Yul's a smart cookie.

Yul also manages to catch Jonathan at some point and tries to pull him over to the Aitu side. Yul brings up the possibility of the hidden immunity idol coming into play. In perhaps the best move ever, Yul makes it clear that Jonathan is safest with Aitu. If he agrees to join back with them, a physically strong Raro member goes home this week. If he says no, then they vote him out. What Yul also considers to himself in confessional is that if Jonathan is playing them, Yul will have to play the idol and then life would suck. Either way though, it seems that a strong Raro member is going home. Yay!

We have arrived at the first individual immunity challenge of the season! There are many poles set up on the beach. This challenge requires them to stay on their poles for as long as possible. They cannot use the top of the pole for leverage. I would normally mention the possibly bias of this challenge towards Ozzy, because Survivor has had it's history of favoring challenges towards certain underdogs (Darrah from Pearl Islands, Terry from last season). But then I thought about it. This challenge is actually favored towards women, I would say. Taller, leaner, athletic women with long limbs. Like Candice. There's just no way to avoid favoring Ozzy in a challenge because he is an animal. He's going to be good at most, if not all, of the the challenges.

So people are on poles. Yul gives everybody a lesson on physics, which is funny. It could normally have gotten rolled eyes, but Yul manages to make everybody laugh. He's a smart cookie, I'm telling you. His punchline is that this is why elephants can't run up trees. Haha. Why was Keenyah trying to run up a tree? Oh, oops, wrong show, and that was mean.

Adam, Jonathan, and Nate fall off, showing that this isn't a challenge for beefy men. Then Sundra seems to lose her grip or something and jumps off. Yul is next, followed by Parvati. Then Becky falls off and hits the ground kinda hard. Ouch. That means Candice and Monkey Boy are left. Hmmm I wonder who's going to win. Not that this was obvious because it wasn't. I had faith that Ozzy would pull through, though. The man caught a bird with his bare hands. Figure that one out.

Basically, it starts to rain and Candice eventually falls off. Ozzy is the first individual immunity winner. Who knows, this could be the first of many individual wins for Ozzy.

Yul shows Jonathan the hidden immunity idol. This may have happened earlier, I'm not sure. Jonathan seems like he's pretty set on sticking with Aitu, then. It makes sense. Given the situation he's walked into, he's in more trouble if he doesn't stick with Aitu. So Jonathan decides to talk to Raro to see what page they're on. He quickly finds out that they're so stupid that they're not even on a page. They dismiss the possibility that Yul has the idol. Uh, then who has it? Candice doesn't. Jonathan doesn't. Adam doesn't. Uhhh. Stupids.

Jonathan is pretty much convinced by then. These Raro kids don't have a clue about the game they're supposedly playing. Jonathan tells Yul he wants Nate out first because Adam helped him when he mutinyed and he thinks he owes him. This is very interesting because Jonathan also proposed a white tribe re-alliance. This would mean the former Raro from the first go around will be four strong. The former Aitu only has one (Ozzy), the former Hiki only has one after tonight's vote (Sundra), and the former Puka has two (Yul and Becky). Hmmm. I find it a little interesting. Not that a white alliance is possible after Jonathan votes with Aitu, though.

At tribal, Jeff asks about who has the closest bond in the tribe and Becky points out Adam and Candice. Parvati says that Candice and Adam want to have babies together, which is something she's mentioned a couple times before. Then someone asks Becky what she's talking about because it appears she and Yul actually have the tightest alliance. Becky points out that she doesn't sit in Yul's lap all the time and Yul says he wishes she did. Actually he doesn't say that at all. Basically, Becky points out that she and Yul have a smart alliance and Candice and Adam have a stupid one. Which is so true.

Oh, by the way, the jury looks cleaned up but Jenny looks pissed as ever. Which is great. Jenny's always pissed about something.

The vote goes completely to the last vote. Nate is the fourth member of the jury and it's a glorious day. I actually saw this part live and was the most excited I've been since John Carroll was booted on Marquesas. It's been a long time coming. Nate is gone! He has some classy goodbye speech about how Jonathan is a worthless snake. He tells him to [insert Whitney Houston's classic line from Being Bobby Brown] "kiss my ass." Jonathan says no thanks. Now, I'm pretty sure Nate used the term "fruitcake" in his goodbye speech and I'm a little suspicious about Nate being homophobic after his strange confrontation with Brad about not swimming. To me, he seems like the type to use non-PC and totally disrespectful terms all the time. I don't like that. I don't like Nate.

Next week on Survivor:
Jonathan gets beat down for switching. Parvati gets really mad at him. Then Aitu is eating food by themselves and Candice gets all mad about not sharing. Can it, stupid. Go catch your own food. And then turn back time and don't mutiny on Aitu. Why would they care to go wake you up and tell you that there's food? Do something for yourself for a change. Nate isn't here to spin lies about people anymore. You need to start appreciating because your number's almost up.

Until next time..