The Apprentice Episode 3

Last week on The Bikini Fiasco:
Everybody let Carey make a pink speedo.. except for Michelle, who nobody likes. Heidi's team got to meet Hef and skip the next task. Carey got fired.

This week on Could Those Glasses Be Any Lower:
Team Losers greet the returning people and discuss what to do if Michelle, or "Johnny" as they call her, returns. Well, it's Nicole and Michelle and Nicole gets a round of hugs while Michelle gets dealt a good hand of awkward. Heidi returns and tells her team who was fired. They all seem surprisingly sad. Heidi adds that Michelle is the most disruptive. When prompted, she explains that they think she asks too many questions. Somebody comments that they wouldn't like being on Team Heidi then. This team is so smooth sailing right now. It'll just be sad when they have to turn on each other.

So Arrow and Kinetic both show up to meet Trump. Trump lets Team Heidi get a day of pampering and relaxation. Team Losers have to split up into two groups and compete against each other. Aaron volunteers to be a team lead and then there's awkward silence as nobody else wants to lead. Trump then pretty much forces Michelle to be the second lead and she pauses for a really long time before saying yes. Michelle has Tim, Nicole, and Frankie Suits. Aaron has James and Stefani, whose name I hate. I don't want to spell it like that.

So the challenge is to come up with a tour and get the best approval ratings. Team Aaron wants Lakers girls. Well, James wants Lakers girls. And he says so loudly. They decide to do the theme of "Famous Places, Beautiful Faces," something like that. Team Michelle is less than enthused. Michelle starts playing the team spirit, total agreement game, which doesn't work well because it means she makes no decisions. They end up deciding on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

So Team Aaron has James take a tour and figure out what to do better for their tour. Aaron and Stefani, who could not wear her glasses any lower, figure out what places to go to. And on Team Michelle, we have Michelle and Tim driving around for hours and hours trying to figure out what exactly to do and where to go. Suits and Nicole in the meantime have nothing to do, so they go make banners and buy butch outfits.

I like how Suits has become the Apprentice version of Eugena. Sucked balls at first, but manages to just stick around to the point where he's able to make fun of other people for sucking.

Team Aaron has a pow-wow and figures out the entire tour and then goes to sleep. Team Michelle, however, cannot sleep because Michelle needs everybody to sit around watching her tank and be indecisive. Nicole goes to lie down because nothing is happening and gets a weird scolding/pep-talk from Michelle.

So the next day, Team Aaron has Lakers girls. James talks really loudly about nothing.. a lot. Stefani takes over and rocks it.. all the while still wearing her glasses at the tip of her nose. They get a lot of interaction with their tourists. Stefani remembers so much information about the places they're showing and really grabs people's attention.

Team Michelle is tanking. They're so pathetic that their microphones don't even like them. Tim tells their customers about drugs and Michelle talks nonsense. It pretty much sucks.

So in the boardroom, Team Aaron has 82% ratings and Team Michelle has something like 58%. Before much can happen, Michelle decides to quit. Then, the most bizarre five minutes of television occurs. Donald berates her and the entire time, Michelle's face is all "just let me leave already." It's pretty ridiculous. I really didn't care that much when she quit. Surprisingly. I usually hate it when people quit. Whatever.

Team Heidi is astonished when they find out Michelle quit and the rest of Team Michelle is pissed that one of them might also get fired. However, they receive a call that nobody else will be fired and they all start hooting and hollering. Michelle, who is walking away, probably thinks they're cheering about her leaving and says, "Bye, guys."

Next week on The Apprentice:
I haven't seen the preview. I say they rearrange the teams. Maybe. And Suits says something stupid. I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe James talks loudly.