Life is a Reality Show

Survivor and Apprentice

2010-10-29T04:28:00.000-07:00

I was looking back at some of my earliest posts on this blog and realized a couple things: (1) I used to blog about every reality show I watched. During college. (2) I was much funnier back then. (3) I had zero attention span then and I have even less now.

I always have this feeling that I need to record my thoughts. That someday I will want to look back and evaluate or something. Lately, I've just accumulated a lot of shows on my external and that's been pretty satisfying, scrolling through the various shows I have on file. You know how many married men have man-caves in their homes? When I have a house someday, my goal is to have an entire room dedicated to my collection of shows. It'll have a desktop computer with all my externals attached, a huge TV, and a really comfortable couch and probably a recliner. These are the things I think about.

There was a period of time of maybe one or two years not so long ago when reality shows kind of hit a bump in the road. The best way for me to pinpoint this period of time is by describing it in Survivor time. It was from Fiji to Tocantins, with kind of an exception of Fans vs. Favorites. That's in Survivor terms though. The rest of reality shows didn't really have that exception. I feel like reality got a little boring for that period of time. And that's how I explain the decline of my interest to blog. Reality is on the upward climb for me right now, though. Survivor's revived itself, and that's really the soul of the reality world to me. Top Chef is doing an All-Stars with an amazing choice of contestants. I'm a little more interested in TAR because I finally see some potential all-female winners. Real Apprentice is back and hilarious. Hell's Kitchen is pretty funny. I'm feeling good about reality again.

I've also added a huge load of non-reality shows to my viewing list. That could also account for why I can't focus on blogging about reality. Actually, that's probably the main reason.. I've overloaded the TV part of my brain (which is the majority of it) and my attention span is zero. Anyway, I would like to talk about some of the memorable moments of reality shows from the past few weeks. I feel like there are some epic moments that should be discussed.

I also watched a couple seasons of Keeping Up with the F***ing Kardashians. That could have something to do with the decline of my mind as well. Anyway.

Survivor:

I actually really enjoy Old vs. New.. or Young. Same difference. I like when they do seasons with specific categories of people. It's already interesting when you toss a bunch of people into the middle of nowhere and force them to play a game with certain strict guidelines for some things and no guidelines for other things. When you then add an even more unnatural grouping or distinction to their "new society," it's even more fascinating to see how they cope.

Also, they continue to typecast and I'm sure the casting process has gotten more vigorous and the story-building pays a bigger and bigger role earlier on in the process as we go through more seasons. The editing continues to fascinate me too.

I won't say too much here, but I will say I have been on Team Brenda since they first showed all of the contestants on the beach in episode 1. She stuck out for me right away and I thought, could this be the next generation of the cunning female, played first by Morasca and then by Parvati twice-ish. There's no secret that in shows with competitions that involve physical strength and athleticism, I always pick a strategically and socially strong female to win.

I still stand by the claim that Morasca was the first person to strategically make a genius counterintuitive play. She challenged the unwritten rules of the game, which said that anybody with a mind should keep individual immunity to themselves. She chose to give that immunity to Heidi, knowing she would in no way endanger herself and would also save an ally in the process. For ten seasons following hers, I stood very firmly to the belief that Jenna Morasca, the 21-year-old winner of Season 6 made the most brilliant move in Survivor history.

Then came Parvati. Actually, in her first season, I made the same observation that I made of Brenda this season. I knew she was brilliant. She didn't show it in her first season, which really confused me. Maybe that's why the next few seasons didn't really capture my interest. I felt like something was unfinished. And of course I knew I was right about my impression of her, so I was really confused. Then 16 rolled around and we saw how brilliant of a social player Parvati was. In Heroes vs. Villains, she showed how physically competitive she could be, but she lost a little steam in the social aspect towards the end. I still think she's the most well-rounded Survivor contestant ever.

Anyway, I said I wouldn't say too much. Can't help it. What I want to say is that this past episode was disappointing because I saw her get a little aggressively-confident during tribal council and I really don't understand her move to eliminate Kelly. She needs to tone it down to pull off a win.

Apprentice

Okay, so I started this post about a week ago and am now trying to finish it. I have to say, I've realized one thing about the Apprentice. Either you're a big regular Apprentice fan or you're a big Celebrity Apprentice fan. I feel like the demographic is slightly different for the two. Oh, and of course, you could be neither.. most people fit in that category, actually. I have always hated celebrity reality shows and I don't really make an exception here. I have come to realize the hilarity in Celebrity Apprentice, but I still prefer watching strangers be hilarious.

And on the topic of strangers, there is actually a contestant this season that I had prior knowledge of. I was the same year as Poppy at Stanford and I have actually been to several of her synchronized swimming meets. She's a world-class synchronized swimmer. Fun fact. So when my friend, who I went to the meets with, messaged me that Poppy Carlig was on The Apprentice, I decided to tune in. I really didn't think it would be too good, coming back from several celebrity seasons, but I have to say, it's kind of a hoot like it was before.

First of all, there's this David character, who is insane and kind of a douche. I think the best way I could describe him is by saying he's the type of person who tells you how funny he is. Which, of course, is the best way to tell people that's you're actually not funny, and are instead extremely annoying. So it's great watching him piss everyone off.

Then, we have some great characters on the women's team. There's Brandy with her dead eyes. She doesn't speak up much in the boardroom, which is why she's doing so well. But she's the type that I would be afraid to share a room with because she seems like she could kill you in your sleep and then get away with it. I wouldn't trust her, basically.

There's Liza, who I basically think just wants people to acknowledge her and appreciate her. The women like to blame her for just about anything and Liza usually loses her mind when that happens. So that's great to watch. Lately, though, I think she's reached some sort of unspoken agreement with the others and they haven't been throwing her under the bus as much.

There's Stephanie, who's another one I wouldn't trust. She's kind of the type of person who thinks she's presenting herself in a certain way, but the way people see her is totally different. She's now been shown to be somewhat volatile and has been clashing with the other women in the more recent tasks. I think this stems from an insecurity that is very deeply rooted but somewhat unrecognized by her.

I've talked about Poppy and when it comes down to it, I think she's too normal to be a good character on the show. There are too many loud personalities and crazies stealing the spotlight. Which is not such a bad thing.

Lastly, there's Mahsa, whom I've referred to as Mahsa Balls for awhile now. Of course, the reference is to Matzah ball soup, but also refers to her personality. After tonight's episode where she was fired, she proceeded to show that she has the balls to call The Donald out. She posted this awesome video on youtube basically calling Trump out for all sorts of things, mainly because of the last ten minutes of the episode, where she was called a liar and she says her reputation has been tarnished. She's clearly upset in the video and I hope she doesn't end up regretting posting it, but I have to say, it's amazing. It is Mahsa in all her glory.

My previous favorite Mahsa moment was the runway challenge where the only apparent contribution she made (the only one shown on the episode) was choosing the name Tristan as the name of the example consumer whose story they were presenting. The best part of it was that they then put in a confessional of her explaining why she liked the name Tristan. So we'll see if anything comes of this video. Either Trump comes back bashing her for some of the things she said about him that are unrelated to the liar thing, or Trump half-asses an apology on the finale. If it's the first scenario, then we're guaranteed to not see Mahsa at the finale, which will be a disappointment.

Hell's Kitchen

I want to talk about how amazing the cast of Hell's Kitchen is this year, but it hasn't been on for two weeks, so I'll try to post when it's back on. All I'll say is I can't believe they found a way to make the opening credits even creepier this season.

Big Brother: My Take on the HGs

2010-08-07T02:09:00.000-07:00

**Everything in black print was written 7/30/10 and everything in purple print was added on 8/07/10**

Okay, after that ridiculous live show and all the crazy going on during the aftermath on the feeds, I have to do a Big Brother post. Even the camera people running the feed cameras right now seem a little loopy.. random up-close of Britney's lip? And now an up-close of Matt's hand in his pants again.. gross.

For some reason, this season is very gender-relevant to me, and I don't think it's just because of the Brigade alliance. I think we have had very distinct female personalities, and that's why it's stuck out for me. So I've decided to run through the HGs by gender and then discuss my opinion and take on the season so far. Everyone keeps complaining about how boring this season is and how much they hate it (by everyone I mean board posters and tweeters), but I'm glad I bought the live feeds this year. I think there's fascinating character development, which, granted, may not produce any fascinating interactions, but it's interesting for me to watch and analyze.

Annie: I bought the feeds after Annie was evicted, so I can't really go too deep into her character besides what I saw on the show, and honestly, it's really hard for me to remember the first week because I hadn't developed opinions on people yet, so I remember very little what anyone said or did, except for Rachel saying Andrew wore a "Yom Kippur" on his head.

My opinion on the saboteur role and Annie's producer-unpredicted early eviction is that she was not prepared for the role and played it too strong too early. Producers should've picked someone older. But considering there aren't any 100-year olds like Jerry around and the cast is relatively young, I guess their choices were limited. Oh, and I keep hearing about this "Paolo" girl that was the 14 player who got cold feet? Paolo is a guy's name. Was there another twist that they had a transgender person in the house? Because knowing me and how much I push for diversity in lifestyles on reality shows, I would have loved being a part of the viewing audience if that would've happened. I only wonder because as far as I know, other countries stick very close to gender names. Like Russians add an "a" onto female last names.. I would assume Paolo is from some sort of Spanish-speaking country and a female would be Paola, like Suarez. Anyway, that's beyond the point. Basically, I have little to say about Annie personally.

Monet: Not a fan. When she was around, Britney was insufferable. Now that she's gone, Britney's the most hilarious person in the house. I found her to be very one-dimensional on the show, and that may be because her character was never developed (that is always my disclaimer: I'm judging on character development, not the actual person, although I don't think you can hide the true you on a 24/7 live feed). She did say something on the first episode about wishing people were up to her standards though.

Britney: Okay, so I've completely changed my feelings about Britney. I could not stand her before this past week. Without Monet, she's hilarious. On the late night feed, as they're about to go to bed, she's talking about how she purposely traps Lane in conversations with Brendon where basically Lane has to lie and say things to compliment him until he's satisfied and stops talking. I guess because I really enjoy amusing myself at the expense of others in a similar way, I thought that was hilarious. For example, I love hinting at things about someone that I know they don't want revealed. And by hinting at it, I know that person will get what I'm referring to, but it's too vague for anyone else to pick up on that doesn't already know. I feel like Britney gets a kick out of that stuff.

Right after the live show, while Rachel and Kristen were both still fuming, Britney was out in the backyard imitating everyone else walking around nervously as Rachel and Kristen fought. It was hilarious. And then tonight she goes and puts on Rachel's extensions and does hilarious imitations of her. She and Matt did. And then Matt goes into the Diary Room with extensions on, a cop hat, and his footie pajamas. If CBS finds it funny, they could chop up the diary room session and insert one into each episode from now on.

I am so completely on the Britney train, it's not even funny. She knows the show really well and she has such a fabulous sense of humor. It's mean when they make fun of Brendon's "toa constrictor," but he's so insufferable, I can't help but find it hilarious.

Kathy: Kathy kind of drives me nuts because she talks a lot but most of it I think she says just to be saying stuff. She's kind of a creeper and always inadvertently interrupts good conversations. However, I like that she refuses to play the game like she's supposed to. She's not playing a hard strategic game, and hard athletic game.. she just kind of goes around screwing with things without really intending to. I think it's funny. Like she's pretty oblivious that people consider getting rid of her based solely on the fact that she sucks at competitions and they don't want her on their team for a Have/Have-Not competition.

This is a picture of Kathy with her legs in her sweatshirt. She looked like a bobo doll. I had to cap it. Anywhere, in Kathy land, not much has happened lately. She still lounges around and smokes all the time.

Kristen: I like Kristen. I need to say this because since the blow-up everyone has a person they prefer. Many don't like either, but there's always one you'd rather see on the winning end. Like some people are happy Rachel won and Kristen is on the block. Other people wish she hadn't won and instead someone would've put her and Brendon up.

Here's why I like Kristen: I like that she doesn't take shit from Rachel. I like that she doesn't do what she's socially "supposed" to do. She doesn't accept apologies when she thinks they're insincere. She doesn't do things to save face. If she would've gone up to see Rachel's HOH room, she would've been doing what is socially-acceptable in the game, but she would've been faking it, so she didn't go up there. I respect that. I do wish she would move around the house more, but there's really nothing to do.

The main thing is, I like that she doesn't cry. Or I guess I can relate to it. It pains me to watch it, though, because I can tell she's been hurt in the past and has always had to "suck it up." I really relate to that and I know that's exactly why people think she's cold and a bitch. I personally think she's strong, and the more in control of their feelings a person is, the stronger I think the person is. Just my personal opinion. I know I have a hard time checking my emotions during confrontations, so I guess I admire her ability to do it.

I don't really get why people hate her so much. Maybe she seems cold. I also don't understand how people are upset about how she responded to Andrew's crazy speech. She should have been offended that Andrew outed her and Hayden. Would people rather she and Hayden be all over each other like Rachel and Brendon? Also, so many people love guys like Dr. Will and Evel Dick and all they did was lie. Is it because they were overt with it and funny about it? Kristen's lying to get herself further in the game. I feel like that's what you're supposed to do when your back is up against the wall. Have we all taken the moral high ground because she's a girl?

Anyway, I hope she and Hayden find a way to both make it out of this week, just to see the shit storm that would ensue. I really enjoy Kristen when she's laughing.. she was hysterical talking about how much her team sucked in the luxury challenge and right now (2:20 am), she's hysterical about her and Kathy making out and telling the house they're the secret showmance. When Rachel laughs, it's usually her contrived high-pitch squeal that she thinks will be memorable on TV. I also appreciate Kristen's strange sense of style. I much prefer it to sequins and crotch-length dresses.

Kristen was wearing on me a little with her "holding court" right before eviction. However, every moment of Rachel's moping and manipulative acting is making me wish Kristen was back here. I hope she is watching and loving how amazing this week is right now.

Rachel: Okay, can I just say how much pleasure I take in the fact that Rachel thinks it's even possible Lane would form an alliance with them? Here's what bothers me the most about her lately: she wants everyone to play the game the way she thinks they should. She wants everyone to play the game to get her far. And when someone plays their own game, she gets so angry. (Okay, 2:25 am and they're talking about the luxury comp again and Kristen is in hysterics again about how horrible they were.)

I liked Rachel the first week. I thought she was a brilliant strategist, but now as I've watched her more, what she's actually good at is the playing the competitions and knowing what's coming. She understands the game as far as what it is on paper. She knows to count everything in the house and keep track of dates. What she doesn't know is how to understand the other players in the game. She had zero perceptive abilities. She can only see when others aren't playing the game like she wants them to, but can't seem to see from their side why they'd play it differently. She plays entirely too emotionally. No matter how many times she says it, she IS playing personally. Kristen is on the block because Rachel's feelings were hurt when Kristen stopped being her friend. Rachel's pretty much said it. Her move is a good strategic move, which is why it's easy to believe she's playing smart. It's really just a personal move disguised as a strong strategic move. She got lucky in that she's putting up two strong players. However, if they didn't happen to be strong players, she still would've put them up.

Since she's from Vegas, I'll say if I was a betting person, I would put money on the fact that she has daddy issues and a lot of insecurity as a middle schooler and high schooler (maybe mostly as an early high schooler). She still has a strong core of insecurity, and the way she and Brendon interact makes me think she's looking for the approval of a male figure in the way she would look for approval from her father. The way Brendon scolds her and talks to her like a child and the way she can't accept constructive criticism really resembles that type of relationship to me.

Ugh. Gross. The rest of the house went to bed and now all feeds are on Rachel and Brendon with the covers over their heads doing who the hell knows what. Time to turn off the feeds and take the trash out. Ewww.. (The picture is from when Brendon was lecturing her about saying, "Bring it on," at the end of her nomination speech.

Every moment on Rachel's life on this show is an act. It's either an act directed towards the viewers, the other HGs, or most likely, towards Brendon. She's either over-the-top happy or completely miserable and mopey. If she's not screaming happy, then she's playing some sort of pathetic card to get other people to give her attention and comfort her like a five-year-old. She has no idea how other people perceive her and she takes other people's actions the wrong way because everything has to be about her, whether it's positive or negative. There's no way Ragan could be upset simply because he liked Kristen and misses her. It's got to be that he's upset because Rachel got her evicted, and this means he's chosen Kristen's side over Rachel's. Seriously?

Like Britney said, it must be different when she's on the block. Anyone else, it's not okay that they're upset. With Rachel's, she's allowed to mope and act like a bitch to everyone else. What a joke.

Brendon: I think Lane put it best when he said that Brendon is like Andrew in that he is not well-socialized. That's why he's awkward in social situations and often says things that you just don't say in certain situations. And he gets away with a lot of it without people labeling him as a weirdo because he's good-looking. He just really irks me. I don't like how he tries to control Rachel in the house.. how he will physically hold onto her and prevent her from leaving until she accepts his apology or listens to him babble more.

I think the majority of the house thinks he's deep down a good person but can't stand hanging around him. Although I hate him with Rachel being gross, I think he would've been screwed without her. He would've been a huge physical target and he wouldn't have fit in with the brigade alliance. I don't think anyone sees it now, but he's lucky they formed this disgusting alliance or else he would've been out early.

The HGs want to get Rachel out first because they think the next HOH will be questions and Rachel is stronger at that. However, many of them would rather put up with Rachel than have to deal with Brendon. That says a lot. Britney hates that Brendon is a know-it-all and a poor sport. A lot of the guys hate how he tries to show that he's better than them all the time.

He kept saying he wished they'd have an endurance challenge where it's running. The others were like "where would we run to?" And then the minute he falls from the paint bucket, he starts ranting about how it's rigged for people with small feet. Britney later was like, "No Brendon. It's not rigged. People of all sizes, heights, and feet size beat you. Lane beat you. Hayden beat you. You fell because you suck." (Not a direct quote)

And right now, he's on the feeds coaching Rachel on how to throw the ball in the bowling challenge they're practicing in the back yard. I didn't realize his physics degree made him not only a master wizard, but also a bowling coach. Wow.

Andrew: So there's two ways to look at what Andrew did. Either he wanted to go out with a bang and piss everyone off and spill everything he knew and thought he knew just to mess with people's games.. Or he did what he did because he was trying specifically to help Brendon. Both are in the realm of possibility.. equally likely considering his personality.

He's pretty awkward, but he's a self-assured kind of awkward. Meaning he doesn't hide in the corner or really know that he's awkward. He'll hang around people without knowing they think he's kind of strange and then interact with them in a way that's not aligned with how he's perceived. I've studied a good deal of personality disorders and while he's definitely not anywhere severe enough to be categorized as one in my opinion, he makes a lot of classic social mistakes. Unfortunately, Big Brother is a huge social game, so he did not fare well.

For example, the whole reason he was mad at Kristen and attacked her during the live show is because he felt betrayed when she was spending so much time with Kathy. However, Kristen explicitly said earlier in the week that she would still be a friend to Kathy but would vote to keep Andrew. She was the one who campaigned hard to keep him off the block when Rachel was HOH. She really was on his side. This changed only when he had that crazy POV speech that made her, like everyone else in the house, get wind that he might be aligned with Brendon and Rachel. Up to that point, she was still planning on keeping him. Also, after the speech, he never went to her to explain it, making it more clear to her that he was hiding something. And then he gets mad and says she was spending so much time with Kathy and never went to talk to him. To be fair, Kathy was the one going up to people and subtly campaigning. As Kristen has said, Kathy went up to her, she did not go up to Kathy, and Andrew had the same opportunity to go to her, especially after POV, to explain himself.

I guess that better explains why I'm on Kristen's side. Regardless of all the bullshit that happened after the live show, the true reason Andrew even went on his tirade was because he felt betrayed, and I don't feel that he had a real reason to feel that way. It was his social-awkwardness and inability to read the situation that caused him to come to the conclusions he did.

I would have a lot more respect for him if he did what he did as a strategic move to help Brendon, the one person he felt he had an alliance with. I really think his attack was self-motivated though. Perhaps when Brendon learned about it, he encouraged it, but I think it's something Andrew planned to do without considering it would benefit anyone else.

Hayden: Before this week, I would've said that Hayden was playing the best game. However, now that Tropical Storm Andrew has blown through, I think he will need some luck to make it through with limited damage. I would like Kristen to stay, and if they both manage to, that will be the least damage. If she leaves, he'll still be strong in the game, but will lose some additional perspective that she provides.

To me, he really resembles Zach Roloff in that their facial structures are very similar. I like Zach a lot, so my initial reaction to Hayden was that I liked him too. He's kind of in the middle for me, though. I can't find anything to dislike him about, but I really can't find anything that sticks out to me, besides the fact that he's aligned with Kristen and with the Brigade.

Matt: So I know his lie about his wife's disease has a lot of people heated. Here's my take on it: I think it's stupid to lie about something outside of the game when there are much better things within the game to lie about. So it's not that don't condone lying. I think it's necessary in the game. What I think is unnecessary and kind of a cheap shot is to lie outside of the game. Simply because there's no way of people figuring out whether or not what you say is true. On the other hand, it you lie within the game, I think it's in the parameters of playing the game. So I don't really approve of his lie. It's not something I take personally. I have family members that have died of illness (I think most people can relate to the situation in this way), but I don't take his lie as anything disrespectful against people who have been ill. I just think it's stupid and cheap. It doesn't mean I think he should be kicked out of the show or shunned. Whatever. He chose to play that card. Every show needs a couple of different villains.

I do find him really funny in how much he resembles a seven-year-old. And I do find him funny when he's around certain people. I also think he's playing a smart game for himself, in what he did with his HOH, although it may hurt him in the end because he's playing somewhat strong for someone who's supposed to be supporting an alliance but is making his own moves.

Enzo: I think Enzo is hilarious as a character and I appreciate his presence in this house. However, I know almost certainly that I would not be able to stand him at all in person. I would not get along with his personality. But I know I'm at a distance and watching him through the feeds, and because of that, I really enjoy him in the house. He's so over the top about everything. Here he is, claiming he's going to go to sleep like this.

It's hard to really define the term "floater" to everyone's satisfaction, but I think of it along the lines of under-the-radar. I think Enzo's playing a great under-the-radar game. He's not pissing anyone off. He's not doing horribly in the challenges, but he hasn't won anything that would put him in power. Right now he's comfortably drifting along. And I'm not saying that in a derogatory way. I have no problem with this type of strategy, or really any other type of strategy, as long as the person is making a choice to play that way.

Okay, Enzo's pissing me off. He's really paranoid about the side-alliances because he doesn't have one. He keeps talking smack about Britney and Ragan and I don't like that! Haha well, that's more on a personal level, it bothers me. On a game level, he's completely right about his read and needs to watch out for them. I just think he's a lot of talk right now. He's yet to win anything.

Small note, Kathy's starting to play a little. Says Enzo could be the saboteur to Hayden. Telling him to be careful.

Lane: I don't really have much to say about Lane. I don't think his character's been developed that much, as far as a player in the game. He hasn't had to make any big moves, so they haven't really focused on him. However, I enjoy the big brother-little sister thing he and Britney have going. It's funny how he picks on her and it's funny that she tries to trap him in conversations with Brendon.

Ragan: I hadn't written anything about Ragan before this, so I'll start now with his newly found role as saboteur. I think it's a good thing for his game as long as he doesn't get screwed with a task requiring him to do something way out of character. If this works out well, it'll force him to be more guarded with his advice and make him think about his own individual game. I think he's been thinking too much in terms of his partnership with Matt and his friendships with other people. He needs to continue analyzing like he does but keep more of it to himself so that it only benefits him directly.

So far, he's played off the saboteur announcement really well. He's a good balance between projecting the blame but holding back some so as to not seem like he's over-the-top. I think had he been selected as the initial saboteur, this could have been a much different show. However, that means he'd be leaving around now, so I'm glad he got the role later on so he can potentially stay until the end.

Masterchef Australia

2010-06-22T04:21:00.000-07:00

I have been working on a Survivor Heroes vs. Villains post for the past hour or so, but it's late and I'm not at all organized or methodical at this time of night, although I do love being up and discussing reality shows at this time, as strange as it may seem.

I love watching British and Australian reality shows, especially Australian shows. So it's probably no surprise that I love Masterchef Australia. I like how over-the-top their shows are, being broadcast daily, which is much the opposite of what goes on here, where shows are so heavily edited down and there's no way a show would ever run 70+ episodes in one season.

So I've been watching the show on a website that posts reality shows and have been lurking around the comments sections looking to engage in discussion about the show, since it's so hard to find people around me that have even heard of Masterchef Australia. I managed to get into a sort of debate with another viewer on editing and judging people on shows based on what is seen on the show. I would like to continue that discussion in a post because it is, and always has been, a fascinating and integral part of reality television.

To sum it all up, here's where I stand. There's a contestant, Joanne, who I believe is way past due for elimination on the show. The eliminations are inconsistent, with some being based on inventing a dish using specific ingredients, some on replicating a dish with or without a recipe, and some on a taste-test. I want to be clear, though, I am not complaining about this. This is how the show is, you get the hand you're dealt. I'm fine with that. I simply think it's about time Joanne leaves and when other viewers make this comment, I sometimes feel the urge to echo the sentiment. I have no problems with the show's setup, the judges, or even with Joanne specifically. It's nothing against her as a person, but to steal a line from Courtney of Survivor, she's like the Susan Lucci of Masterchef. It's kind of ridiculous that she's still around.

Anyway, another viewer commented, clearly upset that so many people were attacking Joanne. I'm thinking this person knows her personally, and is understandably upset that all these negative comments are being made about her. However, I have a big problem with people telling others what to say and what not to say online. To me, in life, in face-to-face conversations, there's so much self-regulation that has to go on to maintain an effective and productive relationships and systems in daily life. When you're online, you should be able to freely state your opinions. I have no problem with people arguing with me, as it creates what I consider to be intellectually-stimulating conversation most of the time.

One thing this person said was that the show is edited, so what we're saying about Joanne could not be true, as we are not able to see everything that happens on the show. I agree that editing creates characters that we tend to like or dislike more than other characters. However, this person then continued to say that the judges and contestants on the show were not complaining about Joanne like we were, which to me, is completely contradictory to the first comment about editing. Who's to say the editors aren't cutting out interviews with other contestants where they rant about Joanne still being around? I'm not saying these interviews exist, but if you're asking us not to judge a person negatively based on editing, who's to say it's only positive footage that's being edited out? Maybe a different cut of the footage would make her seem worse, not better. It's all relative and pretty much unknown how much editing plays on the portrayal of a character on a show. We just have to go off of what we see.

Another online pet peeve is when people try to discredit the validity of someone's opinion based on arbitrary credentials. Comments were made that the judges know food better, and therefore the fact that she is still in proves that she deserves to be there. Then more comments were made that since the show hadn't edited in contestants or judges complaining, clearly they were more qualified than us, so we shouldn't be saying she doesn't deserve to be around. Other than the whole contradictory editing statement I already addressed, it really peeves me when I'm told to not comment on something because I'm not qualified in that specific field. I know I'm not qualified. That's why I'm not there judging. I would be pissed off if someone like me were making decisions on who stays and who goes on a cooking show. However, every viewer is equally qualified to give their opinion on the characters of a show they are watching. That's why they produce these shows. So that we can watch and comment.

So, I would love to get into a conversation with this person, but I don't think it'll be happening. I've given examples of times when she rode coattails or skated by to support my comment on why she should have been eliminated already. What I would love would be if this person responded with examples of when she earned her stay and did something on her own that rivaled the other contestants. I'm sure there are valid claims to be made. This would lead to an interesting conversation. See, this is what I would like to see more of. People these days are too focused on who's right or wrong to appreciate a good argument/discussion. There doesn't need to be a conclusion that everyone agrees on. It's the conversation that's the important part.

Survivor Villains vs. Heroes

2010-05-15T22:42:00.000-07:00

I need to do an in-depth post on the final 3: Russell, Parvati, Sandra. Yes, I'm calling it.. Sandra wins. It was clear from last week's episode that she wins. Editors screwed up.. I'll talk about all that later too.

I want to talk about each of the 3 finalists and describe what makes each of them such strong epic players. The three best Survivor players in the history of the game. Sorry Morasca, after each of them have played so well in two separate games, they've trumped you.

Survivor > SYTYCD right now

2009-12-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

Shocker? Well, Survivor's consistently gotten better ever since the dip it took from around Season 10 to Season Half-All Stars. I think this season is possibly the best ever, and I really liked Amazon and a couple other seasons. Maybe I'll write about the specifics later, but I'm too tired right now. I just have to get out my frustrations over SYTYCD.

The main problems: the big-ass stage, no PVO, no Billy Bell, World Series

SYTYCD: TOP 20

2009-10-25T02:11:00.000-07:00

The new intro is awesome and the cast looks pretty awesome as well. We definitely have more characters like we did in season 4, and I'm hoping for a more entertaining back story this time around. Of course there are a bunch of questions I have after watching that final callback show. I'm not sure I'm going to like having all of the shows on the big stage, but we'll see how it goes. They need to some how loosen it up so it's not so formal and put in the bull pen somewhere so the other dancers can somewhere to go during results shows so we can observe their behavior. Yes, these are my competition-show-watching priorities. Moving on.. let's talk about Top 20.

Nathan Trasoras: Small child. I don't have that many opinions on him, except that he'll probably be paired with Mollee if we're looking at putting similar people together. Remember when a bunch of couples looked like each other last season? Yeah.

Kathryn McCormick: Omg will she shut up? I already hate her. Maybe she'll go away soon, or she'll be paired with someone awesome like Russell and we'll have to suffer through her every episode until she's finally eliminated way too late. Sound familiar?

Channing Cooke: Meh. She's very blonde. No personality resemblance to Chelsie, though. Moving on..

Ariana DeBose: I don't know much about her and I feel like they're holding back on her for whatever reason. Oh, right, they had a soap opera to film for this episode. We'll see who they pair her up with.

Ellenore Scott: She's very pretty, but I don't know that much about her. There's something Chelsea Traille about her hair.

Billy Bell: He's one of the ones who knows Jeanine, so not that surprising that he made it. Well, he's also amazing.

Russell Ferguson: I <3 Russell. They really sold him during Vegas week.. that was amazing what he did. He also seems like such a sweet guy. Like he means well, is very pleasant, and tries hard. That's really all you could ask for.

Kevin Hunte: I think he's too reserved and kind of closed off compared to Russell and Legacy. I don't see him drawing in enough fans to make it as far as perhaps he deserves, but judging by his technique during Vegas, there's a chance he could get through based on his skill. Imagine that..

Bianca Revels: Not a surprise. I have mixed feelings on Bianca. Biyanka, actually.. that's what Nigel and Cat call her. She's definitely got the personality to make a season feel like season 4. I'm sure she'll stick around for awhile.

Phillip Attmore: I don't really know.. they made him look like an ass and then took him anyway, so either he's an ass or they're trying to create dimension.

Peter Sabasino: I loved his reveal. He's the guy who goes in and you're like, what are his chances now, really? It would be the same if you sent in a string of hip hop dancers or a string of ballroom. Really, what are the chances? So when he came back for his reveal, that was probably the most exciting one of the episode.

Victor Smalley: I wonder if he has a jet-pack. I have a student with the same name and he has a jet-pack.

Jakob Karr: This is another one who's friends with Jeanine. Interesting they appear the season after her.. might be an age thing.

Mollee Gray: You mean small child? She's such a little kid. If I were to call a pair, I'd call her and Nathan. But I guess it depends on height. Whoever's the shortest guy is almost guaranteed to be with Pauline. I can see Mollee either mellowing out when the show starts or driving everyone crazy all the time.

Pauline Mata: I've been a fan of Pauline since they rejected her at this stage last year. I'm glad she made it despite being broken and not able to finish. Ohh.. will she be paired with Legacy? Somehow I'm seeing that.. he seems to be one of the shorter ones. I don't know how I feel about that if it happens.

Noelle Marsh: I was sure she'd get cut, but what did I know, they had an even bigger soap opera saved for the end. I don't really think Noelle will stick around for much. She's already cast as Mollee's sidekick.. I guess it'll depend on who she's paired with, but they could set her up to be the next Paris of -and-Tony.

Legacy (Jonathan Perez): I had heard that Legacy didn't make it, so now that I see that he did, I don't know really.. He comes off smug and not that good at any other styles. Maybe he'll go away quickly. With someone like Russell who I can't imagine everybody doesn't already love, there's not that much room for another b-boy to wow us and steal our votes.

PVO: I want to include Paula because she did technically make it to the top 20. I love PVO. I think she's an amazing dancer and she's been around for awhile, so she's a sentimental favorite. Word on the street is she's going to be in the Christina Aguilera movie, Burlesque. She better be a named character with many lines, or I'll be sad that she gave up the chance to be on tv weekly for 2 months for a chance at a movie.

There are a few different scenarios of what happened with her that I'm running through. She may have called producers over the break between Vegas and the callback show and they insisted she still come to the callbacks because they needed her as a character on their soap opera. It's also possible she wanted to find out if they would have chosen her and didn't say anything to anyone. I highly doubt this though. It's also possible she just found out on that day and mentioned it to a producer, but since she was there, they had her stay. Whichever it was, they definitely used it for added drama to the show. Whatever. I wish we got more of the story, if there was more. I'll miss having PVO on the show.

Ryan Di Lello: I have no interest in him or his wife. I'm already tired of hearing about how difficult it is to dance with someone other than each other and how sad it is when one of them leaves. Blah. Blah. Moving on..

Karen Hauer: I don't really know much about her, but she was also part of a married couple on this show. Luckily her husband isn't on the show now, so hopefully she won't be insufferable. I was glad when she made it over Ashleigh.

Ashleigh Di Lello: I really don't think she's that good. Like really? We couldn't have called Amber back and told her she was now in? Oh, because that's not as good of a soap opera when the judges have to eat shit and take back what they said. It's much better when they make the husband cry because he feels bad that his wife was cut, and then have him jumping up and down when he finds out she's actually in. Right.

Let's take some guesses on the pairings. I think Legacy's the shortest boy, so I'll put him with Pauline, unfortunately for her. Nathan and Mollee. Jakob with Ariana. Victor and Ellenore. Hmm.. it's hard to tell their size from video. I wonder who they'll put Bianca with. That one is interesting to me. Billy? I don't know, if their bios come out before the first show, I'll make more guesses then.

The PR Empire

2009-08-21T23:39:00.001-07:00

I usually have a lot of opinions when shows make big changes, but I'm not sure it really makes much of a difference to me now that PR is on Lifetime. Had it moved to Fox, I would've been concerned. Lifetime, however, has no other shows, so it can focus solely on PR. I thought I would blog since this is kind of the last time I'll probably have time to blog for awhile, considering I start teaching (3 preps) on Monday.

So I love how PR has turned into an empire. First we get this all-stars challenge, which is awesome, particularly because they brought back both interesting and talented contestants and crazy and ridiculous ones. I kind of loved it when Uli said, "Who's making pretty dresses?" and then paused and when nobody responded, she smiled like a little girl and raised her hand.

This is how Lifetime has changed PR: I'm pleased, actually, that not much has changed. It's basically the same show, so I don't have anything to complain about. However, I will say that Bravo is more "wacky characters" than Lifetime, which I've typically seen as taking itself a little too seriously sometimes. I think had this season been on Bravo, Ari Fish would've stayed for at least two more episodes to annoy us and Cristal or Qristel or whatever would've gone home. Right?

And I love how they came up with a show based off of what had just happened on the previous show. Models of the Runway? It's kind of like The Aftershow on mtv, except it was filled with even less substance. I do like that they're all picking models every episode like they did back in season 1. I don't seem any harm to it.. makes for a more interesting show, imo. Like remember when Zulema stole Tara from Nick and thus started the grand downfall of Nick as a contestant on PR2? Tara was one of the better models, if not the best that season. Once Zulema inevitably lost, since only the winning designer got a choice, Vosovic stuck with Rebecca and Tara went home way before she was ever supposed to. Yes, I do still remember these details about the models of season 2. It's the information that got stored in my brain instead of the information from CS106B and Statistics 116. Right.

Finale blog (with Best Moments from the season)

2009-08-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

Last week on So the Inevitable Finally Happened: Melissa finally went away.

This week on So the Kodak Made the Finale Too Impersonal: The most boring finale they've had in the history of this show. I'm thrilled that Jeanine won and Brandon was second and the rest were the rest. That part was great. However, whoever planned this finale must have been different than whoever planned the past few finales. Last year's was amazing. They packed so much in. This year it seemed like ballroom after ballroom and not nearly close to as much dancing. It was also too formal and impersonal for my liking and it felt a little self-serving, like "look at our fantastic production of a show." I felt that it should have been dedicated to showcasing the dancers and it seemed more like it was showcasing the judges, the production of the whole thing, and the phenomenon that they like to say they've created. I don't want SYTYCD to be like Idol. I like the cozy summer season show. I don't want it to become a spectacle where it becomes overproduced. I was upset right away when they didn't even announce the returning dancers like they normally do in the finale.

And all the ballroom dances for judges' choice? We get it, Janette should've won. That's your fault, not ours. Stop showing us ballroom. They could've shown some of the amazing pieces Janette was in. Okay, I'm not saying that was their actual intention.. to shove the fact that we voted her off too soon. I actually think there's been complaints from the ballroom choreographers that they're overshadowed by the contemporary and hip hop pieces every year.

Okay, so I'm not just here to complain. There have been a lot of great moments from this season. And by great I mostly mean hilarious and ridiculous. I would like to count down my favorite moments from this season.

Favorite routine: Battlefield - This was an amazing piece, and by far my favorite of the season. I understand that since Laurieann is new to this season, she is left out of the judges' choices. However, that's not going to stop me from appreciating it. This came close to some of my favorite routines from past seasons. This season had a lot of intense and odd pieces. I kind of like just having a really well-choreographed routine without some extensive deep storyline. I thought it was amazing.

10) Randi becomes Melissa and is voted off - Okay, so enough talk about the actual dancing. It's the other stuff on this show that's hilarious. I think it's amazing that in Top 10 week, they turned Randi into Melissa with that wig, and then she was subsequently eliminated. Seriously, I watched the show on regular broadcast, so I wasn't skipping around. I saw the package before the piece where it showed Randi and Kupono, yet I was still confused when I saw this chick with long brown hair. It was too dark, thick, and fake to be Melissa's hair, but I still said out loud, "Why is Melissa there?" Then she was eliminated that week because nobody recognized her to vote for her and that's when I decided to weave conspiracies into the rest of the show. Another way to look at this, through my dislike of Melissa, which I'll go more into detail on later, is that viewers thought she was Melissa and that's why they didn't vote, rather than them not being able to recognize her and vote for her (Randi).

9) Kupono thinks he's Vitolio - This isn't really as funny unless it reminds you of another similar moment in season 2. So in elimination, Nigel says, "Vitolio step forward," and Kupono steps forward. By the way, I'm actually trying really hard to use all of their real names and because I'm doing that, I'm making sure to spell them all correctly. I haven't called Melissa "Grandma" once yet. I want an award for that. Anyway, this moment reminded me of when Nigel said, "Jessica step forward," and Ben stepped forward in season 2.

8) Jason's "bloody nose" - So Jason had lipstick on his face after the Bollywood routine and it kind of looked like a bloody nose, so I started to spin a story in my head. I'd like to pretend that he actually got a bloody nose when Janette punched him after he made out with two girls in the two routines that he did that night. The background story to this made up situation is that Janette and Jason are rumored to be dating. And that's all I need, is for it to be rumored. It's kind of odd, and they were coincidentally eliminated together, so I find it interesting and funny. What adds to the hilarity, though, is this blog I found somewhere that talked about the rumor of the two of them dating. In the comment section of that particular post, someone claiming to be Janette's brother completely denies that his sister and Jason are together. There's a bunch of exchanges where he tries to prove he's her brother, and someone else says they saw the two kissing, and Janette's brother says they're just friends, and someone else asks if they're friends that makeout. True or not, I find all the back-and-forth on the topic hilarious.

7) Nigel being creepy towards Jeanine - This isn't necessarily as funny as it is creepy, but the fact that it's creepy makes it funny to me. It really bothered me because she's only 18. If you want to make inappropriate comments about a female dancer and get away with it because you're in charge, do it to someone that's not so barely legal. Also, her mother is in the audience, why are you being so creepy? So what he said was, "You can't tie down talent," or something close, after the superhero girls routine in Top 6, clearly referring to Jeanine's outfit. Then, in the Top 4 show, he talked about wanting to "do it to her too." Gross, Nigel. Get away from her. What makes it funny, though, is in the very last moments of the finale show, everybody's hugging and we see Jeanine hugging Nigel and she says something, not on mic, which starts with, "I promise you I..." and I would like to think she said, "I promise you I won't sue you."

6) Cat calling Asuka "Oscar" ALL THE TIME - So I did not find Melissa's husband's sign funny at all: As Cat says, "It's Melisser".. although it is very much in line with what annoys me about Melissa. More on that later. I did, however, find it funny that everytime Cat said Asuka's name, I was like, "who's Oscar?" Because seriously, I was using so many awful nicknames during the first half of the season that I was never sure if a random name thrown out there was a person on the show that I referred to as something else.

5) Melissa finally leaves - Okay, so this one's more mean than funny, but I can't help it. I did not like Melissa on the show. And I do have actual reasons that are not, "her face annoyed me" or something like that. I found her condescending, self-congratulatory, and I thought she was given a lot of excuses by the judges and handed a lot of freebies. A lot of this was not from anything blatant she said or did, but a lot from the impression she gave off. So yes, I'm judging, but I'm not often wrong. And I'm not judging on first impressions, because I didn't mind her in the audition rounds. And no, she wasn't edited to look a certain way because it's impossible to edit someone's demeanor and expressions. Also, SYTYCD is not heavily edited to create characters like Survivor. It is very carefully cast instead. The best way to describe how she comes off as condescending is by the obscure reference I'm about to make. She gives these looks that remind me of Kathy Griffin's impression of Gwyneth Paltrow's condescension. She just seems to think very highly of herself. So when she finally left, much too late, I was happy to say the least.

4) Ellen - I've already explained previously why Ellen was a great addition to the panel. Sometimes the judges take themselves too seriously, so having her there balanced out Mia in that aspect.

3) Chelsie breaking the briefcase in Bleeding Love v.3 - So I realized what I said about Chelsie was wrong, when I compared her and Janette. I still think Janette had potential to go further in the show had the breast cancer piece not come at such a crucial time. However, I underestimated the importance of appearance on the show. Chelsie by far has had the most expressive face on this show. She's also had the most expressive hair. I am being completely serious. It really adds to her performances. Had she been on a different season, she could have easily won. Unfortunately, she was on the strongest season and suffered from what I call "overconfident fans," meaning when a contestant appears to be doing well, there will often be eliminations that happen all of a sudden because fans did not feel the need to save that person. It happens on all voting-based shows. Anyway, that has nothing to do with this third best moment. I love Bleeding Love and have watched all versions of it multiple times, so I will be able to describe the progression of the routines pretty well. So in the routine, Chelsie's supposed to kick the briefcase as Mark is going to pick it up. The first time, when it really counted, she nailed it. The second time, she stepped on it and then pushed it away with her foot. The third time, on this season's Top 6 results show, she stepped on it, tried to push it away, and instead it popped open from the bottom. So the handle part was still intact and she instead broke it and it opened from the wrong side. It's not an important detail to be making such a big deal about, but I thought is was hilarious when Mark carried it off stage at the end and I like to think of what would've happened if there had been stuff inside of the briefcase.

2) Ade moves boxes - Okay, so this has to do with Melissa again. I felt that throughout the show, particularly in the first half, she was given so many routines that played to her ballet strengths. At one point, it seemed like all she did each week was look elegant and be carried around by Ade. So KB and I were watching one night and we were like, you know, all Ade ever does is carry Melissa around while she looks elegant. So we thought they should just give Ade routines where he moved boxes around, because it would basically be the same thing. It could just be him and a bunch of boxes and that would be the show. And then Top 6 rolls around and he and Jeanine do a NappyTabs routine where they're actually moving boxes. So I thought is was hilarious, could not believe what I was seeing on stage, and that's why it's the second best moment of the season for me.

1) Jeanine thanks the Academy - I hated this finale. I found it to be insufferable and too formal and impersonal. However, the last few minutes where Cat was interviewing Jeanine were awesome and probably the best moment of the entire episode. That's the one change to this season's finale that I liked. I found the entire interview hilarious, from her thanking the academy to the way she thanked her lovely mother, to her list of her favorite things, to just her reaction in general. I am a fan of hers and I find her to be very genuine. I think she and her family are probably very nice and wonderful people in real life. I know the family is well off and she probably wasn't in the competition for the money, but more to prove something to herself. I think she deserves the title and I really appreciate the thought she put into all of her solos. I get the sense that Mrs. Mason in particular has worked really hard to get where she is today and I can see that she's instilled that ethic into Jeanine and I'm sure the other children as well. I know it seems like I'm saying a lot from very little that we saw on the show. I do a little research on the contestants, especially when I'm not sure what to make of them. This is based on Jeanine's preshow interview, one article I read on her, and just my general impression of her on the show. And I'm usually right about my impressions, and since this is a positive impression, I'm sure no one will mind me reaching a little. A lot can be said about the quality of the parents by the demeanor and behavior of the children. So because I have respect for how Jeanine carried herself throughout the competition, I have respect for her parents. The only reason I'm mentioning this is because my initial impression of her has changed during the show, and I like to acknowledge when my first impressions are wrong. Anyway, congratulations Jeanine, and thank you for all of your hard work.

WTF

2009-07-23T22:56:00.001-07:00

It's like the world has been turned upside down. I blame Mia mostly, and also Nigel. Actually, it was the circumstances. I'm shocked. Really? Evan's the only one to never be in the bottom ever?

SYTYCD: Top 8

2009-07-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

Last week on So Maybe it Wasn't a Mormon Conspiracy After All:

Randi and Capuccino left and it was about time. Jason came to life after getting over that disease he had for a few weeks.. that disease named Caitlin. I finally saw what the big deal was about Janette and Brandon after seeing them separated. And I decided that this year's Top 10 is nowhere compared to last year's. Maybe when we get to Top 6, they'll seem comparable, but I'm not holding my breath. Part of me feels like they're saving a lot of strong talent and personality for next season since it'll be up against other strong regular season shows. Just a hunch.

This week on So Who's the Moron Who Gave Mary a Train Whistle:

I'm not going to go through each dancer, I don't think. I have more to say about some than I do about others. First of all, what was the point of the first hour? Those routines were so boring. What is up with routines this season. This is part of the reason why this season isn't as strong as last season. I feel like there were so many more memorable and exceptional routines last season. I'm not a big fan of the ballroom overload. That's part of it. Also, I have a bone to pick with wardrobe.. it's been weird this season. Today I was fine with all the solo outfits.. OH except for Melissa's.. what the hell. I thought Jeanine looked great tonight. Although I loved the Travis routine last week, I was not a fan of what they had her wear. Janette also looked great during her solo. I'm starting to get the hype about her. And I'll say I have no problem with her winning. I get it.

Ellen. Okay, I wrote a list of topics I don't want to forget to cover. And I'm just going to leave them there like bullet points. First, let's talk about Ellen as a guest judge. I loved it. I was kind of afraid when I heard she was coming, but it's hard to really explain why. I love Ellen. I think she's hilarious and I like her brand of humor. I find her to be too wholesome on her show. And I understand she needs to appeal to as many people as possible to be as hugely successful as she is. However, I like the real Ellen. I think she has a lot of things she thinks in her head but never says on her show because she doesn't want to offend anyone. And that's fine. I respect how smart and savvy she is to become this successful. However, I was afraid she'd come on this show and.. I don't know.. be kind of boring? Like maybe she'd just say generic comments and compliment everyone? I'm so glad she came on and was just hilarious.

My Ellen highlights were 1) when she talked about helping Travis with wardrobe, 2) when she talked about being street, 3) when she kept saying "I can do that," 4) when she talked about the glass of wine she had, 5) when she stood up for Evan when they were critiquing his appearance instead of his dancing, and 6) when she was just honest about not being an expert and just happy to be there for a taping. Also, Mary often has nothing of value to say, and she goes on and on and on. Ellen wasn't pretending to have constructive criticism, so she kept it short and funny. She really added value to today's show. In fact, she was funniest during the boring first hour of the show. Had she not been there, I might have fallen asleep.

Janette v. Chelsie. So in light of this realization I've had of Janette's talent, I think I'd like to break it down and try to explain it. So first of all, I have to say I like Janette and Brandon so much more after they were split up because it's now so clear how strong each of them is individually. Now I get it. But let's talk Janette. I started realizing maybe week 3 or 4 how strong she was because I remember noticing something about how she strong she was in some routine. Vague, I know. Anyway, it's been a long time.. maybe never.. since I thought of a female ballroom dancer winning the show. Let's break it down. Janette is probably going to win. Here is why. She's a very strong dancer, in and out of her style. She's also pretty genuine in the way she carries herself. I don't think the personalities are that strong this season, but at least they're not faking it. I think she puts a lot of personality into her dancing. It's like she gives a lot of herself and I think that's what people appreciate about her.

So Janette v. Chelsie, and it's not like a battle or anything. They're both great, they're from different seasons and it's not like I'm saying one is better than the other. Chelsie's probably the female ballroom dancer that had the most potential to win before Janette came along. But during her season, I knew she wouldn't win. It was a combination of how she was portrayed and how strong the other dancers/personalities were on her season. I did think she'd be in the Top 4, though, so that was a surprise. By the way, I watched season 4 late, so I can't guarantee I would have felt the same about her had I watched it live and on time. With Janette, I get the sense that she can win.

The key difference between Chelsie and Janette is their training, I think. Janette has said that most of what does she learned from her family. While there's no doubt she's also had some professional training in order to get this good, I very much believe what she says. With Chelsie, it's clear that she's had a lot of professional training by some of the best ballroom experts. You can see it when she dances. It's something about being very precise.. her dancing just seems very refined. However, when I watch Chelsie, I see her formal training, and when I watch Janette, I see her passion. Like I said before, I feel like Janette puts a lot of herself into her dancing, and that would develop through learning informally from her family. I think for this reason, Janette has the potential to win. I believe Chelsie is technically the stronger dancer, but Janette is more likely to win a show like this. I think they're both great, regardless, though.

Brandon. Oh I want to talk about Jeanine too. That'll be next. I was kind of wary about Brandon when the season started because there was so much history with him. He'd been really close to making it last year. He and Natalie were apparently bffs because he couldn't handle it when she got cut (for no reason). He caused a rift between the judges when some really liked him and some didn't at all. So there was all this hype, all this anticipation. I so was not interested in any of it. So I don't think I really considered his dancing when forming my opinion of him. I just saw him as controversy and kind of wanted that to go away. I don't like that type of controversy.

Now that it's faded away, I'm able to look at him more objectively. Also, I wasn't too sure who was carrying whom between him and Janette, so I didn't know what to make of them never being in the bottom. When they were split up, though, I think I really liked knowing that they were both pretty equally strong. So anyway, now I appreciate him on the show and have no complaints.

Jeanine. It was nice to see her mom emotional over the Tyce piece. That was sweet. And her little sister looks so much like her. But let's talk about her dancing. I think if this was a solo show where they only performed solos.. besides the fact that it would be boring and have no appeal.. she would win hands down. Every solo that she has done has been so clearly planned out and well-choreographed. I like that she's very intentional about her solos. I think they have been so clearly the strongest, week after week. Again, I love that she's the Terin Humphrey of dance. I think that's great. I appreciate that she realizes that people tune in each week to see good dancing. She takes the time to make sure she's putting out her best effort. What can I say, I'm a fan.

Laurieann Gibson. She's never choreographed on this show yet, right? I really enjoyed that. She was kind of Jillian Michaels-esque in that intro video of their rehearsal. I usually like routines with some storyline, but she was upfront about there purposely not being one. And I think what she created was exactly what she said was intended. It focused on the dancing and the dancing was great.

Tyce. Tyce's routine was great. It's frustrating when I keep seeing "Melissa and Ade's second routine was so good." I want to be clear. Tyce's second routine was phenomenal. Sometimes the choreography makes dancers appear better than they really are. It was one of the best pieces this season. However, it does not make either of those dancers the best dancers of this season. I'm not trying to be vicious towards either of them, but I honestly believe they should both be in the bottom according to their abilities and what they've shown the rest of the season so far. Tyce is amazing. If he can save two dancers from the bottom by giving them amazing choreography, he'll have reached a new level of amazing. We will see tomorrow, I guess.

SYTYCD marketing at its best. So anyone that knows me knows that I like to take a very analytical look at reality tv. When I say I watch a lot of reality tv, I don't mean I stare at the tv screen blankly just to pass the time. I analyze the editing, the casting, the perception of "reality".. I like to make predictions and I'm usually correct. I'm a captive and active audience. Anyway, it's usually hard to delve too deeply into analysis of live performance- and vote-based shows. I kind of enjoy how there's been a different side to sytycd lately. I think this is what's kept me interested. There is something to say about the casting and the seasons are very interconnected.

This is what I mean. Have you noticed they never show them picking their styles anymore? We're supposed to believe it's random. I have no proof and I'm not even completely convinced myself, but there's been a lot of lucky draws this season. Also, unrelated, but what's the reason behind having them write their names on the cards instead of the normal printed versions? Budget cuts? Odd.

Now, I've been very clear about my disapproval of the doubling up of seasons. This is coming from someone who loves the show and wishes it was on all the time. However, I understand why it can't be on all the time, and I'm afraid bad things will happen now with the doubling up. There's no doubt it will be tougher to be on during the regular fall season. This will mean they will need to make their show more marketable and drama = marketability. What I mean is, this could quickly change from a show that we all grew to love with its quirks and turn into a show that is fighting a ratings war. Right now, I still find it to be an honest show. Good dancing wins out in the end and it's not just about who's more attractive or adorable that America wants to see entertain them. I do still honestly believe this. There are people who get cut too early, but I've yet to see a winner that didn't deserve it. And I don't want to see someone make it through who doesn't deserve it. I'm afraid it could happen if they mess with what works. I could be completely wrong, but I know I'm not wrong about fearing it.

With this doubling up of season comes the issue of casting. With the seasons so close together, we're not likely to see as much growth between the auditions like we do with a lot of the current contestants who've auditioned before. Because of this, there is no doubt the judges were casting for two seasons during this season's casting. Now, since next season is risky, being in the regular fall season, it is important to have a very strong cast then. I suspect that many of next seasons' cast was pretty much chosen before those auditions began. They have set up a lot of interesting stories. There's Natalie, of course, and we'll get to her. I find her case fascinating. We have Evan's brother, Ryan. We have Chbeeb's girlfriend, Arielle. Bianca (? the tap girl) said she wouldn't come back, but she could be compelling. There's this Asian chick I've seen a couple times. There are a lot of strong dancers that kind of slip through. Oh, there's Caitlin sister, Megan, too. That's a lot.

The Natalie case. So it pisses me off, the whole situation. I hate that they're using her for ratings and she's too sweet of a person to get pissed off and never show up again. It really killed me when she apologized for disappointing them when they cut her for no reason. There are two possibilities of what they're doing with her and I'm not sure which one is actually the case.

1) They're planning on having her on next season because everybody knows her. If you're a true fan of the show, you know who she is. People will be interested in supporting her and watching her progress in the show. She would be a great person to cast for this new season.

2) She's so well-known on the show that the judges realize that if they cast her, she could easily coast into the finale just based on her established fanbase. If this is the case, they may never cast her, which would be unfortunate, because it is clear that she's a wonderful person.

So we'll see which one it is. My hunch is they either made a deal with her to ensure she'll come back or they know she'll come back because she loves to dance and they want to use her desire to be on the show for the show's benefit.

2009-07-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

Can I just say Twitter has added another level to my world of reality tv anticipation. I've never been afraid to make bold predictions and assumptions on this blog. I use previews to make predictions for shows that are pre-filmed and I use observations from contestant interactions to make assumptions and anticipate what will happen on future shows filmed in real-time. So let's talk some shows..

Here Come the Newlyweds just finished. I called a McMorris/Corliss finale, of course, and I was pulling for a Corliss win. The thing that bothers me about this show is they never show the votes. It is a reality show. Show the votes. That's how I get a sense of what's going on and with that, I could have made a correct final prediction much earlier. Of course I thought the Corlisses were great because they own a tattoo shop and are not the traditional-type couple. I think this show tries too hard to be wholesome. If the Corlisses was as out-of-the-box as they could find, they weren't trying hard enough. There's nothing odd about the Corlisses. They're just an honest, real couple. I appreciated that.

Big Brother continues with it's odd theme and pregnant host. I love that Julie Chen said she wouldn't go on maternity leave and would continue doing important work on BB. She's afraid if she left for a season, they'd realize she could easily be replaced with a computer-generated voice or a likeable previous contestant like Janelle. Also, I like how maternity leave was even an option. There are a lot of pregnant women, I'm sure, that do more work while on maternity leave than Julie Chen does hosting BB.

Anyway, I'm not trying to make this a post about ripping on Julie Chen. She doesn't actually bother me that much. I just find her amusing. In a Mary Murphy kind of way.

Let's talk about the actual show, though. I'll admit I watched the first episode and then missed the nomination episode and then watched most of tonight's episode. This is a show that I like to be spoilered on. I like knowing who's nominated.. who won veto, if there's a replacement nominee, etc. Based on that, I decide if I feel like tuning in. There's kind of the boring first two weeks period that we're going through right now. It doesn't get interesting until someone's switched alliances at least once. So I'll wait until then to comment on the characters. I do find Chima annoying, though, but it doesn't seem like she's going this week.

So You Think You Can Dance is on fire as usual. I will say the upcoming season in the fall is a bad idea. We might not see the effects of the decision right away, but I'm telling you it's a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, I love the show. I wish it was on all the time. BUT I'm telling you it will be bad for the show. It's possible we'll see it in the upcoming season, but most likely we'll see it next summer. For one thing, it's not a good idea to double up on a show that has consistently been been known for a particular season. I find that summer shows try to do this a lot. Summer is a legitimate television season. Big Brother doubled up, Hell's Kitchen is doubling up. I find that the two seasons of BB that were coupled together are less memorable than past seasons. I find that memories of those seasons blend together in my mind as if they were one big season. Another thing that I worry about, which is SYTYCD specific, is the resting period for auditioners. I recently watched both season 3 and 4 Vegas weeks and it's ridiculous how many contestants were shown in the Vegas week of the season before they were part of the Top 20. Not only do they look more mature in their actual season, but they very apparently grew extremely between the time they were rejected on one season and the time they were selected on the next. Doubling up does not allow for this. SYTYCD is not like Idol. While it is about marketability, I think it's much more of a specialized skill, and dancers at the level that SYTYCD requires are often committed to dancing as a profession, while I don't think it's true for singing at all. So you get many of the same dancers coming back year after year who've taken more classes, gotten stronger. There needs to be a resting period to allow for that growth. I don't ever want to see a season weaker than the one before it. I fear that that will happen at some point with the doubling up.

Anyway, I'm excited for this week's mixing of the couples. I think we will quickly see who's been carrying the weight in certain partnerships. I also think the first vote will be very revealing. I will not be surprised if Melissa goes this week. In fact, I'll be surprised if she stays. There's nothing compelling about her to me. Well, let's see.. who do we have left? Oh, there's Kayla too. I can see her leaving before Melissa, but it's kind of a toss-up. Let's do a classic list-through of the contestants now. How about it..

Melissa: So I just listed out all of the names and I'm proud of myself for knowing all of them. Let's just say I don't call many of them by their names. For example, I refer to Melissa as Grandma because she's the grandma of the show. It's not actually an attack on her age. I just love how 29 is suddenly old now. It's the same idea as when 27 was suddenly ancient on Top Model.

Anyway, so Melissa.. There's something really off-putting about her personality, or at least the way she carries herself. I'm tired of hearing about how she's a ballet dancer, but mostly because she has not been given hip-hop yet. If the girl can krump, I'll shut up. But for now, she has not proven to me to be able to step out of her style any more than Chbeeb did. But when you're a hip-hop dancer, all that is talked about is whether or not you can do other styles. I would like the same conversation to be had with other dancers. Basically, I think she's been given a very easy first five weeks. I'm not saying any of the dances she's done have been easy.. I just feel like so many of her dances have been about her looking graceful, or modified in some way to play up her ballet experience. Anyway, we'll see this week.

Ade: I think he's slipped under the radar. And I don't mean that in a sense of he's the dark horse. I mean I don't necessarily think he's proven himself yet either. I'm glad he had to do a solo finally last week. I'm looking forward to seeing how he does tomorrow. I can see him leaving soon.

Randi: So I have this Mormon conspiracy theory.. that they're the driving force behind many things that happen in this world. I think they're the reason she's gotten away with getting into the Top 10 without having to prove herself. I'm not happy with the fact that all these couples are getting into the Top 10 without having to dance for their lives. I would have something to say about her if I had had the chance to see her in the situation. Since I haven't, I can't say she's particularly compelling to me either. This is not just a dancing show. You have to open yourself up to the viewers. Be fun. Make us smile.

Evan: I think the whole thing with his brother in the Vegas show really pimped him out. I mean, that was a lot of airtime and it's helped carry him through the first half of the show. Remember someone else that this happened to last year? Katee. Other than the fact that they continue to use her friend Natalie for ratings (which pisses me off to no end.. Natalie seems like a really nice girl and I hate that they're taking advantage of that).. that whole drawn-out unnecessary event last year benefited Katee so much. She was known when Top 20 began. Joshua was also known. They both also happened to be amazing dancers, so that sailed them into the finale. I knew they were unbeatable when I saw they were paired together.

Anyway, the point is Evan was given a gift from the producers/editors/whoever made the choice to abuse the storyline of two brothers fighting for one spot. I saw last year's Vegas show. Evan was there. He was almost on the show. Of course he was chosen over his brother. He was clearly stronger at that point. I'm sure his brother will be either on the next season or pimped out like Natalie was.

Kayla: I would like to state an observation. She is not close to the other dancers. Not in the way that SYTYCD dancers usually are. This is purely observation from watching the show. I'm really interested in knowing more details. Is it just a personality clash? Do other dancers not think she deserves to be there still? Maybe I'll elaborate more later, but I know I'm right about this..

Kupono: I thought he should've left instead of Max, way back when that happened. I don't really get this whole thing about how he's made amazing progress and now all the judges love him. He never had an Ivan or Dominic moment, so I don't really see it..

Janette: Her hair bothers me, but I just watched last season's Vegas episode and it was so much worse then. Do I think she's good? Yes, she's very good. She's great at what she does and she's surprisingly good at other styles too. Do I like her on the show, though? No, because the judges are cramming her and Brandon down our throats. We all remember what happened when they did that with Allison.. she went home way before her time. And I didn't like Allison at all on the show. Watching it back again, though, I realized how amazing she was. If indeed Janette or Brandon deserves to win, I want to be able to see that. Stop telling us how amazing they are all the time.. it makes them seem a little arrogant to no fault of their own.

I also wish they would stop pretending it's a big deal when she's good at another style of ballroom. She's a ballroom dancer. I don't care what she specializes in. She's going to be better at any ballroom than a non-ballroom dancer any day of the week. Are we trying to pull for a ballroom winner this year? I told y'all last year they were gunning for a hip hop winner.

Brandon: SYTYCD loves to make guys look like assholes and then have them do really well in the show based on their talent. Danny anybody? Whatever. If they stopped telling us what to think about Brandon, maybe I'd develop an opinion. He's a great dancer, but I feel like I haven't had the chance to really see who he is on the show.

Jeanine: I kind of became a fan of Jeanine through her association with Chbeeb. But I can tell you what I like about her that has nothing to do with her partnership, though. First of all, her solos have been impressive. I feel like she puts a lot of thought into her solos and her dancing in general. She mentioned being the girl who nobody would have expected to be here. So that means she's not just dancing well out of pure talent. She's playing up on her strengths and she's using her head. And I'm a big fan of people who work hard rather than rely on natural ability. Terin Humphrey anyone?

I feel like I've gotten to know her on the show. This show gives the dancers opportunities to appeal to the viewers. It's the dancers' job to make use of those opportunities. Be endearing. Be fun. I've said that already, but it's really important. The viewers need to relate to the contestants. I find her to be much more compelling than any of the girls left on the show.

Jason: Sad Boy. I remembered him from last year. And I remembered him being sad. Then they put him with Caitlin, who was totally Sad Girl. She had one foot out the door for several weeks before she was actually cut. I don't think that partnership benefited Sad Boy at all. He's at least interesting to me. I'm interested in seeing him with a different partner.

Can I just say I'm loving following NappyTabs on twitter. They never give anything away, but it's fascinating to me hearing their perspective on certain things. Can't wait to see their routine tomorrow.

Updates

2009-07-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

Last year on Life is a Reality Show:

So I just finished up a year-long extensive, intense Education program where I was constantly reflecting and writing papers and case studies and lesson plans and whatnot. Now I'm in my first real summer vacation in at least 4 years and I feel the urge to blog.. or at least to write and reflect. My fingers literally tingle when I find myself comparing shows and analyzing the editing in my mind. Although apparently I was much more clever and funny a few years ago. I was reading back on some of my earliest posts and was surprised at how much I had to say.

What's to come:

So who knows if I'll be able to keep up with this, and at this point, it's basically something I'm doing for myself. I had a lot of hits during The Mole and if that ever comes back, I will definitely be here reviewing the clues and figuring out who the Mole is. For now, though, there are a couple topics that I really want to talk through. I think my blogging skills have weakened as my analytical muscle strengthens. I see connections and patterns everywhere in TV these days and I'd have a hard time recapping any show without feeling the need to talk about other related shows.

So although this is a reality TV blog, I have been watching a lot of crime shows and feel the need to compare them. By crime shows, I don't mean 48 hours or any of those real crime shows--although I do watch those occasionally. I'm talking about the CSI-inspired genre. Although speaking of CSI, I have a bone to pick with that show.. the Vegas edition jumped the shark a long time ago, but I'm still watching NY because the strong character development within the first few seasons has proven to be worth it as it is the only version of the show I find still worth watching.

I have spent a good deal of time watching shows that I have missed out on and have always thought would be worth catching up on. First, I had to go back to what started it all, back when I was pretty young.. my fascination with these crime shows started with The Pretender, a show I can remember watching with my father. It was such a long time ago, though, that I remembered very little of the show. So I went through that series. I have a lot to say on just the development of the show and the characters throughout the seasons and the eventual cancellation of the show.

I watched the first season of the Mentalist after seeing a really good episode towards the end of the actual run of the first season. I really like the show.. the characters and the cases they work on. Not typical. Which is a very good thing. It's hard to follow 18 million seasons of CSI without taking a very original spin on the concept. So it's only been one season of this show, but I hear it's being moved to Thursdays, which I'm taking as a good sign because Thursday is always the best TV night, year-round.

Then, I finally took a chance with Boomtown. This has been a long time coming. I remember it when it was on and I may have seen parts of episodes, but I never committed to it. Then it was cancelled very early and suddenly. I had heard that it was one of those shows that was too clever to gain a widespread viewing public, and those tend to be shows that I end up liking. So I finally did it. Got ahold of the first season and the six released episodes of the second and probably watched it all in record time. Loved it. I will say that the first episode probably caused the eventual downfall of the show. It needed to be better introduced. It's the type of show that takes effort from the viewer's part. Absolutely brilliant, though. It's a shame there was no closure to the end of the show's run.

Then I was trying to decide if I should watch Bones or Crossing Jordan. Bones was rerunning a lot around the time that I was watching Fox.. which at this point is only when So You Think You Can Dance is on because I like to watch it when it airs. So I think I watched the majority of two episodes of Bones without really paying that much attention and at some point it piqued my interest. The show is brilliant. Love it. I would go through the episodes at record speed. It really is a unique take on the typical crime show. It gives such interesting perspective on relationships, personalities, and a range of different beliefs and issues relevant to today's society without approaching it in a blatant way. I love that each episode is clearly constructed individually with certain points in mind, but the overarching development of the characters and their storylines is so consistent.

I also find that crime shows can fail in two very opposing ways: either they (1) focus too much on the crimes and do not give the characters enough substance to make it an actual show instead of a series of separate individual shows compiled together, or they (2) focus too much on the characters so their lives eventually overtake the show's original concept and become the focus of the show. I think The Pretender clearly became the latter, and I completely understand the downfall of the show. The first season was brilliant and it started to slowly fall apart towards the end. I would argue that the two of the lesser CSI shows, Vegas and Miami, suffer from the first affliction. I think it's a slightly different issue for the two shows, but their characters do not have the substance needed to carry the show. You see this when characters leave the show. If the show was built on a strong enough foundation, it will not suffer from the lost of a main character. The death of Aiden on CSI: NY was fascinating and helped make for a thrilling episode. The death of Speedle on Miami did not have the same effect. And the loss of so many Vegas characters at once was not capitalized on. Just look at how Bones developed the Gormogon story arc. That was brilliant.

Now I'm watching Crossing Jordan and I'm finding it lacks so much compared to Bones, but that's what happens when you watch a superior show first. CJ is interesting, but it lacks the depth and honesty of Bones.

Anyway, briefly, that was what I wanted to discuss about crime shows. I may go back to this if I feel unresolved about something later, but I hope to go back to focusing on reality. I still follow most of the shows. I'm angry and disappointed that the Top 12 hip-hop curse has struck again on SYTYCD. I'm annoyed that Jesse is back on Big Brother because he clearly does not have an aptitude for the strategy necessary to do well in the game. Although Jess was labeled "Popular" (which by the way I think is the worse idea for a theme ever.. I don't mind the teams, but the premise seems very juvenile and makes me feel like BB is telling me I'm getting too old for their show).. I think Jess would've been a fascinating character to see on the show again. She might be stereotyped as a certain type of person, but she was a very smart player.. with a similar skill set to Janelle. I would've like to see how she played it the second time around.

I'm also watching The Fashion Show, Top Chef Masters, Here Come the Newlyweds, and will be watching Hell's Kitchen.

Other Mole Seasons + What's to Come

2008-08-13T00:20:00.000-07:00

If anyone is interested in watching Mole Seasons from other countries, realitytvfan.org is an EXCELLENT place to check out. I apologize for spoiling some of those seasons in my previous posts. I really recommend Seasons 2 and 3 of Australian Mole.

As far as what's to come now that Mole 5 is over, I got the suggestion to do Big Brother 10 recaps, and I think that's a good idea. I actually really enjoy this season. I think this season was very well cast. So we'll see how it goes. I won't be able to keep up with the three episodes per week, but I think it would be nice to do at least one recap per week, maybe after the live eviction and HOH competition each week. Yeah, that would work great, since eviction is on Thursday and that's the end of my heavy work load each week. Sweet. See you in a few days.

The Mole 5: Bullshit Reunion Show

2008-08-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, you should all know what to expect here. I'm really pissed. What the hell? I will say I'm a little less angry knowing Mark won by 4, but I'm still mad about it. Actually, watching the reunion special and seeing them go through all the times Mark was almost eliminated and how Paul knew from the very beginning, I'm kind of mad that Paul didn't win. And the reason he didn't win was because of that dumbass easy exemption in the penultimate round. Ever since that happened, too, I've been wondering if Craig didn't kind of throw it to Mark. I can see how it was intended for Craig to win the exemption since he said he was given the answers. So I do give Mark credit for figuring it out faster than someone who already knew the answers. I think it just was a series of lucky moments for Mark.

So we found out in season 2 that Heather should have won and actually gave the win to Dorothy. I was okay with that because I liked Dorothy and not so much Heather. However, it's almost exactly the same situation if you make Victoria the Elavia of this season. Victoria missed one answer and thus Mark stayed in. Elavia took the bribe and thus Dorothy stayed. Also, a lot of people were suspecting Victoria, just like a lot of people suspected Elavia. As you see, I really like to make connections between seasons. Not because I believe in deja vu or anything, but because these shows tend to be edited in the same manner. It was very surprising when Paul left and then Nicole was left with an opponent who had been considered the "nice guy" for whatever reason. I do appreciate that Mark mentioned that he was being a big baby, and I do appreciate what he's doing for his wife, but I just don't consider him the type of player who should have made it to the end. A lot of it was luck.

I have always supported a more intuitive player because someone who takes too many notes makes it obvious really quickly that he/she is not the Mole. Ironically, that was Nicole's downfall. And I'm also not saying Nicole played a perfect game. It took her awhile to get to Craig as well, but I like her style of game play more, which is why I give her more credit. Paul, though, I give him props for calling it so quickly. It's a shame that such a good player was beat out by a stupid exemption. But, that's not to say I blame the outcome of this on chance or luck or whatever. Had Paul been thinking even an extra step ahead, he might have chosen the cell number with the exemption attached to it. Unfortunately, the Mole got that cell, as he was probably instructed to, and then allowed himself to be shot, giving Mark the exemption and costing Paul the game.

So I do want to take some time to talk about how I called Craig as the Mole from almost the very beginning. I did have a lot of suspicion towards Nicole in the first episode, and then Clay became a second to Craig once I dismissed Nicole as a possibility in the third episode. It was really the first episode clues, with the Alexander SelCRAIG thing and the hangman and the Titanic reference. I did not pick up on any of the bullshit clues that they planted. Did you see Paul make a face when they pointed out a tiny clue hidden in the intro? Yeah, I agree. That's a pretty vague and random clue. I did like the area codes thing. That was interesting. Also, I called the never choosing Craig during execution thing. They did that in season 3 of Australian Mole and once it had been four or five executions where Craig never came up, I began to wonder if they were doing the same thing.

So now that I've been typing for awhile, I'm less riled up. A lot of recent reality TV results have gone my way, so I should be able to just put this one on the shelf as a decent attempt at reviving one of my favorite shows with an ending that was not so desirable. Oh well. In the context of money making a difference, I think Mark's win will make a huge difference in his life and his wife's life. So something good will come from this. I have to say though, ABC, I'm disappointed with the editing for this reunion episode. As soon as you showed a door opening and people being really excited, I knew Mark had won and that started my angry ranting for the next hour. I knew that wasn't the Mole's reveal because of the way it was staged. So please don't spoil it so much next time. I already had this sinking feeling ever since Mark won that exemption, but the preview piece made it obvious.

I will say during such a short time in this one reunion special, I've come out of it really respecting Paul (not that I didn't before, I just didn't really like him before) and even liking him based on his genius game play. I still feel the same about most of the contestants except I found myself really not liking Ali. I feel like she perpetuates negative female stereotypes, and I don't mean by being a model.. I mean by talking bad about Nicole. And I'm not just saying this because I'm a Nicole fan. It's the way she says things. I think Paul does respect Nicole and so much of his "game" was directed at her because she was such a threat. I don't think Ali recognizes the value of having this type of character on a competitive television show and I don't think she ever came around to realizing that Nicole's inconsistent personality was due to her strategy and game play. Also, Ali is really a polar opposite of Nicole in so many ways in this game. Ali walked out of this game for money, which was a smart move for her because there was no way she'd come near any money otherwise. When faced with throwing the quiz and leaving to avoid having to deal with the men in the game, Nicole just couldn't do it. You can say her pride got in the way, but that makes it sound negative, whereas I believe the inability to sell herself short is what makes her such a strong person.

Anyway, I don't know if any of that made sense. It did in my head. I've enjoyed recapping this season and having so many readers. If any of the Mole contestants happen to be reading this, I want to say that I appreciate them putting themselves out there and letting us critique their characters on the show.

The Mole 5: Final 3

2008-08-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, so now that I don't have to go to sleep early in order to get up at 6am, I have time to write this recap right after the show has ended. First of all, I'm still thrown off by the fact that Mark is still here and Paul is not. It kind of pisses me off because now I don't know for sure that Nicole is the winner. I'm still pretty sure, but Mark puts a little doubt in my mind because everyone keeps referring to him as this supposed nice guy on the show. Do I doubt for a minute that it's Craig though? You gotta give me props for calling two of the final three. I'm willing to bet that it would've been Paul instead of Mark had there not been an exemption, too. You know it was pretty convenient that Craig called #4, which was the cell number that I immediately shouted out when Jon gave them the opportunity to choose which cell they'd be in. That's the only thing I really saw in the last episode that seemed a little convenient.

Let's talk about this episode. I have to say these were two good challenges out of a season of kind of lame ones. The first one with the bomb was similar to Australian Mole Season 2 where they had to figure out which wire to cut when. It was too easy. Or I'm not giving them credit for being the brightest set of contestants we've seen in awhile. I think this whole season should've been more intense and more difficult. Maybe it's just me, but $418,000 is a lot of money. I thought they said this season's total was out of $500,000. Maybe they didn't ever say that, but for some reason I thought I heard that, particularly because I remember making a comment about how it used to be out of a million. If it was out of half a million, then their total pot won is ridiculous.

I wish they would've done some classic Mole challenges, like Three Questions, or like Paradise Mole-tel where they have to each escape from a locked room. I thought the last challenge could've been tougher too. Wasn't it more fun when Heather was almost eaten by a wild animal than when the biggest complaint of this task was Nicole didn't feel like doing anything? I'm a little pissed that Mark took the dossier, but I'm hoping it's easier the same as the Mole's journal, which we can all see on the website, or it's all chicken scratch and a bunch of confusing information. I hope the dossier doesn't just give shit away.

So it would be nice to go through the past episodes and take notes on everything and then come out with a spreadsheet on everyone's stats. I could do that because I do happen to have all the episodes at my disposal, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that because it'll be extremely time-consuming and it might end up really irritating me and I want to end this season on a good note. I hope they decide to do another season but make it more intense and more exciting. I have to say I'm a little disappointed. And if it is Craig and Nicole does win, either I've gotten a lot better at reading people and reading editing over the past few years, or it's gotten way too easy.

I like to be proven wrong. I like to be blown away. I was blown away when Bribs was eliminated in the second season. Although, I have to say I did call Kathryn as the Mole fairly early on in the first season. Not as early as I called Craig this season, but I was pretty sure about her and wasn't surprised at the ending. Other than that, I haven't had a great track record with picking the Mole. What I do have a record with is calling winners, however. I didn't get Steven in Season 1, but I got Dorothy really early on, I got Kathy Griffin and Dennis Rodman in the Celebrity Editions. I got Jan in Australian Mole 1 and Liz in Australian Mole 5. I didn't get Australian Mole 2 and then 3 and 4 were spoiled for me. Well, I spoiled them for myself. I wasn't really paying attention in UK Mole 1 or 2, plus their editing was sporadic. And in all of these, I never had a good hunch on who the Mole was. Kathryn was my only correct guess prior to this, and Bribs was my incorrect guess throughout most of Season 2.

Anyway, most people haven't seen these other seasons and probably don't care, but my point is that I typically find this really challenging, so I'm hoping that I end up being off. If I am right about Craig, I hope when they do another season, they make it especially challenging. There's only so much you can do to bring in viewers by making it viewer-friendly and easier to play from home before you start losing their attention because it's not exciting enough. I can't say there's been an execution where I've been blown away. Maybe it has to do with all the new technological capabilities and the access to previews and commercial promos. I don't know. I just hope next week is really exciting. I hate to be typing up what is becoming a whiny recap, but I just watched American Gladiators before this and that finale was INTENSE. I was rooting for Ally and her come-from-behind win was awesome.

I'm probably going to go watch the hotel challenge from Australian Mole 2 now because that's some exciting shit. I hope people aren't pissed off by this recap. I don't feel like there's a point to go over each contestant individually since there's only three of them and I've been saying all along how it would play out. I still think Craig is the Mole, Nicole is the winner, and Mark is a loser. I will say I'm less sure than if Paul was here, but I have a hard time seeing all this male vs. female conflict ending with it affirming any sort of institutional bias. I think there wouldn't have been so much included about Nicole being the only woman, being this strong female character, for it to just end up with her losing out to a man. She did beat Paul and I'm afraid that's supposed to be something significant. I still see her winning. And I'm still positive Craig's the Mole. I can't wait to see the hidden clues and see which ones we picked up on over the course of the season.

Recap will be posted on Thursday

2008-07-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

Okay guys, no recap until Thursday. I have a huge case study to write up for this week and now I've had some other unfortunate circumstances come up, so there's no way I can put a post up until Thursday at the earliest.

I do have to say I'm pissed about the exemption. Also, this changes the outlook of the finals possibly, since Mark is supposedly this "good" guy in the show. I'll have to think about it, but the previews still make me think Nicole wins.

Episode 7 Recap NOW

2008-07-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I got yelled at in the comments section of my previous post. And I love it. First of all, the majority of the comments I've gotten on this blog have been on the clues posts, so I never really realized people enjoyed my commentary. So thanks for letting me know that you actually come to read my commentary and are actually pissed when you don't get to read it. Also, I love that I got yelled at in my own blog. I don't know how you knew I'd respond positively to this, because I really think most people would be offended and would delete the comment or whatever, but I love it. Is that you, Al?

So I know this post might still piss you off because I'm not actually writing the recap right now. It's 7am and I have to go teach. I'll be back around 1pm and I promise I will rewatch the episode this afternoon and then put up an awesome recap. I will say that assuming the finale is in two weeks, my work load gets significantly lighter after next Thursday, so I hope to be able to put out some final speculation posts before we actually find out who the Mole is.

Clay: Does this mean he actually voted for Nicole like they made it seem? So when he couldn't do math, I was like, hmmm maybe Clay is the Mole. But then he got the pattern in the answers and I decided there was no way. Being that I'm currently preparing to be a math teacher, I can see where Clay went wrong in his calculations earlier. This would actually be an interesting question to pose to my students because it makes sense that if you added eight, you'd have to subtract it later, but by adding eight to the number being subtracted, you're actually making the difference smaller, so you have to add that eight back to the difference later. This would actually be a very interesting question to pose to students. Anyway, Clay's discussion with Mark was suspect too. Are they really still voting for Nicole? Really, guys? I think we've all figured out by now that it's not her. But I wonder, because it does seem Clay knew her the best, so I'm surprised he left before Mark. But who knows. Mark is like Al. He won't go away. I have to say I have a lot of respect for Clay for thinking through patterns with the numbers, though. There are always patterns in the Mole. Always. Good job figuring it out. That was tough.

Mark: Let's not pretend that Nicole tied with Clay. It was Mark. He should be gone next. Why do people think it's Mark? He's has way too much of a hero/leader complex. I don't ever see him think to do something to sabotage. I don't think it ever comes to mind that he should do something suspicious to look like the Mole. Anything he does to cost the group money is purely by chance, I think. Mark, the fact that Nicole counted wrong with the tiles is not a "little clue." A little clue is when someone says something that maybe they shouldn't have known. Or if they break a small rule that could easily be overlooked. And yes, Clay, some people are just that paranoid. I can think of one named Al. Mark is so much like Al. You know what I can say about Mark, though? I know I've been harsh about how he is as a player in the game. However, I can definitely tell through his interactions with his wife that he's a great husband and father. He really seems to adore his family and that's just a great thing.

Paul: Do we think Paul misled the group on purpose? Probably. Does this mean he's the Mole? No. It means he does what Mark doesn't do. He knows how to be suspicious without being overt. Also, it seemed like he was trying to sabotage his own chance at seeing his family. Although, who else thinks Paul is exactly the type of guy who would not know those certain things about his wife? Maybe they haven't been together for as long as Mark and his wife, but I can't say I'm surprised that Paul didn't know his wife's dream job or aspirations. His daughter is adorable! I loved when she told the door to open and it opened. She's such a cutie.

Nicole: I love that she chose Dumb to be with Craig. That's what I would've done. I think she's onto Craig and will probably win as long as she doesn't eliminate herself. As far Jon saying they should know by now that choosing Dumb means they'll have to do more, I disagree. Mole tasks traditionally don't relate in that sense. Something I would expect would be for Dumb contestants to have to outsmart the Smart players but beating them in something or doing something quicker. I think the tasks this season could've been more creative, but hey, I'll take what I can get. So who sabotaged the Dumb team? Well, the task was a little ridiculous, so I wouldn't be surprised if they counted wrong. I am impressed with how Nicole memorized all of Clay's answers. I have a feeling she was very adamant on doing the best she could for Clay and what she displayed here is very true to her real self. You know what I wonder? Was her plan to quit a ploy? Like either she felt threatened and wanted to make sure she had an out in case she was legitimately executed, or she wanted to throw off the other players. She's a tricky person, so I don't know.

Craig: Quiet sabotage is when you change a number slightly and make it look like you were just confused by the amount of different numbers being used. I'm impressed by how well he did on the questions about his girlfriend, considering they've known each other the shortest out of all of the people. Craig is the Mole guys. There was little sabotage in this episode because they won both tasks, and the tasks were kind of lame as far as Mole challenges go. Next week looks decent. We'll see how that goes.

Craig is the Mole. Nicole is the winner. Paul is the loser. Mark goes home next. How do you like that..

The Mole 5: Episode 7

2008-07-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA this episode was amazing. Maybe it also helps if I explain what you would have witnessed if you just watched this episode with me. As soon as Nicole starts talking about throwing the quiz, even though I know by the way they were editing it that there was no way she'd be going home, here's my dialogue for the last part of the show: "No, you better not. Don't you dare. No! You are not quitting. No, you'd better not. Don't you.. don't you dare! Uh-uh. No!" This is me talking to the Nicole on TV. Yeah.. I knew she wouldn't be going home, whether it was because she failed at throwing the quiz or because she just couldn't do that to herself. I'm glad it was because she just could not bare making that decision based on emotions. She knew in her head when she thought it out that she could never do such a stupid thing.

Ledora: Let's talk about my favorite character on this show. Who the hell replaced Anderson Cooper with this current host and overlooked Ledora as a potential host. I loved seeing the relationship between mother and daughter and I loved how much of a riot she was. "Omarosa." HAHAHA.. except, no, Ledora, you understand all stories about Omarosa behind the scenes with no cameras paints her as an even more extreme version of how she's portrayed on camera. Nicole is no Omarosa, and she should be proud of that. She's a strong, intelligent, successful woman who is about to win this damn game. Anyway, back to Ledora. She was awesome from the moment she became a character on this show, muttering about the door not opening, to the time she left, calling her own daughter Omarosa.

I'm going to sleep. I do plan on finishing this recap because the episode was amazing. We'll see how that goes, with all the work I have this week, mostly due on Wednesday.

The Mole 5: Clues (Updated Episode 7)

2008-07-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 2: I'm still working on this one. It could be one of those arbitrary ones and not like a secret message or code or anything.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 2: NIC@IT = NICATIT. Unscramble it. TITANIC. In episode 1, Craig stands on the boat just like DiCaprio did in Titanic.
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 2: Yes, it does conveniently spell out ELEVEN, but the clue is Hangman. This is a game of hangman. After Craig jumps off the waterfall in the first challenge, he says he feels like a hanged man.
-ABC clue: A B C B B
A C C B C A
Week 2: The way the clue was given was with the two lines center-aligned. So I immediately thought it was related to their seating arrangement in the execution, but I don't know what to make of the letters. Apparently people think it relates to grades people received on the quiz, which would make sense given that Liz was executed. However, this means Craig got a 'B' and then I'd be suspecting Clay as the Mole, who was one of the 'A' people. However, this also means Nicole got a 'C' and I'd have a hard time believing she's doing poorly on the quizzes.
-Text clue: Heart
Week 2: I don't know what this means. I tend to not prefer the clues where it's unclear whether or not there's a hidden meaning. Like the hangman one is one that interests me because it's clear there's something to figure out. Here, I don't know if it's literally referring to a heart or if I have to decode it or whatever. Liz had heart earrings. Bobby wrote that he <3's>-Text clue: Grapes
Week 3: Someone had a grape treatment at the spa. Really that obvious though? OH, it was Bobby. People have been suspecting the text clues refer to eliminated players. Liz with the heart earrings and now Bobby with the grape treatment. However, NIC@IT still points to Craig for me, so I don't know about that idea.
-Website clue: s666 - LIAr
Week 3: Fascinating. I'll work on this one.
-Text clue: cf(11)8
Week 4: See if '11' ate? Yeah, Craig wasn't at dinner when they did that challenge, thus costing the team a possible two thousand dollars and giving him the right to piss Mark off by continuing to be able to write meaningless things in his journal (assuming he's the Mole, of course).
-Website clue: EFG PQR ZOO
Week 4: It's actually written with the sets of letters stacked on top of each other. So I get these clues off of forums, by the way, and the ones I have looked to for reference are all in my links in the right column. If you write out the alphabet so that EFG is above PQR, and you decipher what ZOO refers to, you get ODD, which is interesting. There was an even/odd question this week, but I also remember the question of how many letters are in the Mole's name, and ODD would also apply there.
-Website clue: 234 715
Week 5: Where is number 6. Who is number 6? When? Paul was 6 in the first task, from left to right, but it's not him.
-Text clue: CHNO 111738
Week 5: Somebody pulled C11H17N3O8 out as some sort of chemical, which would go with neuroscientist, which would go with the theme of clues for eliminations.
-Website clue: 334 631 244
Week 6: Each set of numbers is on top of the other.. like many clues we've gotten. And they're all crossed out. Hmmm..
-Text clue: X13421
Week 7: This is a clue from last week I think. Apparently it points to Alex going home.
-Text clue: 1245
Week 7: I don't know. I'm tired. Maybe I'll think about it tomorrow.

Possible Clues:

Week 2:
-Journal #11: At this point, I think it refers to person #11 in the intro: Craig. It's not a very meaningful clue. Take it as you'd like.
-Green thumbprint helmet: I kept this one around because I could've sworn I saw that helmet again in some preview.
-Last Supper: Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. LEONARDO. DiCaprio. It connects to the NIC@IT clue.
-Alexander Selkirk: He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. I think this is exactly the type of clue we should be expecting. It's easy to figure out if you think to google it. However, it's conveniently placed in the episode so that most people will overlook it. It's amazing to me that people completely disregard this. Everything is put in the show for a reason. They could've left the name out of the story, but they didn't. You could argue that it's a red herring, but I will not believe it was just a coincidence.
-Italia: Jon, the host, is wearing a shirt that says Italia on it. I tried to take notes this episode and that was the only halfway decent thing I wrote down. Like for example, I wrote down Liz = bunny when she tied that green bandanna around her head. Italia sticks out to me. It's odd that he was wearing it. It seemed out of place.
-Pisco Sours: Their second appearance. I don't know what I make of this clue, though. There is such a thing as a Pisco Italia, which would connect to the other arbitrary clue.
-Ransom Note: There are three missing letters on the random note: Y in 'your' U in 'throughout' and E in 'the.' Don't know what it means. (Note: I had it down as 'random' note but I mean 'ransom' and clearly the note was both.)
-All the religious references: People seem to think this refers to Victoria being from Bishop, Texas, but do you not all realize that Craig went to PLNU, a Christian school? While I tend to think blatant repeated symbolism is too excessive to be considered a reliable clue, if you do consider it a clue, then it points to Craig just as much as it points to Victoria, or a male with a Bible-name.
-JAIME on the side of a building: I don't know what it means. I'm tired. Post your thoughts if you want. I'll think about it when I'm less tired. So, like Friday, when I can finally sleep in.
-N 20 HL 70 on a label somewhere near the end of the episode?

The Mole 5: Episode 6

2008-07-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

**I have to wake up in 6 hours, so it looks like this recap won't be finished and we'll have to just go with a recap of tomorrow's episode. I agree with someone who posted a comment that Mark's time is up. I've said for awhile that I see it being Craig, Nicole, and Paul in the finale and this week's episode just cemented for me the fact that it'll be Nicole and Paul battling it out in the final quiz. However, I would like to make one small modification to my previous prediction. I see it as being Nicole, Paul, and MOLE in the finale. Clay has been moving up there in my line of suspicion. I believed it was Bribs for the entire show in Season 2 until he was executed, even though a lot of suspicion was building for Bill. This next episode would be the time where Bribs was executed, and while I don't believe in deja vu necessarily, I do believe in patterns of character editing and consistency in my own behavior, so I can't say I'll be completely surprised if Craig ends up leaving tomorrow. However, I am very stubborn and still have a hard time believing he's not the Mole and I've been wrong the entire time. I will acknowledge the possibility of Clay, though, and I do believe I briefly addressed this possibility in the Episode 1 recap.**

So about halfway through the episode, my roommate's friend came over and they proceeded to sit at the dining table and play a game and talk kind of loudly. Well, any talking during the Mole is loud talking. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but considering the circumstances.. if you go out of your way to ask me to clean up a space that isn't even that messy, please don't disturb me during my important shows. It's a give and take thing. So I missed a bunch of dialogue during the bungee challenge.. which brings me to my first question:

What the hell was going on with that exemption challenge? Did they make their predictions all before anyone jumped, or are they all morons? I'll have to rewatch it later.. oh wait, I'll probably be too busy. Too bad my only quality relaxing time was interrupted. As you can see, I'll tired and cranky. Maybe I should write the rest of the recap tomorrow.

Okay, so it's now Wednesday and I haven't gotten around to watching the episode again, but I have more issues about my roommate and I wanted a place to put my thoughts and I didn't want to put them in my teaching blog. So here's the deal. She made this chores chart and we're supposed to take turns cleaning the apartment. I don't think our place has ever gotten even close to being dirty yet. Also, I wake up at 6am and get back home at 6pm. I do not have time in there to go get a vacuum from the housing office. And let's talk about our schedules. I get up really early. I only have an hour from when I get up to when I leave to shower and get ready. Please don't decide to take an HOUR-long shower during that exact time. Especially when you're about to go to sleep. I wouldn't mind if she was waking up and taking a shower, except what the hell, hour-long shower? I feel like people who enjoy keeping their place extremely clean would also enjoy not using up all of the world's clean water supply. Also, I don't appreciate being woken up when she gets home late and is talking really loudly. I feel like if a lot is being asked of me, a lot should be expected back. It's a give and take. I don't like confronting people, but the fact that she's felt comfortable forcing a cleaning schedule on me means I should start feeling comfortable airing out my issues too. Why can't I have my amazing roommate from fall quarter last year back?

The Mole 5: Clue (Updated Episode 6)

2008-07-14T22:16:00.001-07:00

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 2: I'm still working on this one. It could be one of those arbitrary ones and not like a secret message or code or anything.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 2: NIC@IT = NICATIT. Unscramble it. TITANIC. In episode 1, Craig stands on the boat just like DiCaprio did in Titanic.
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 2: Yes, it does conveniently spell out ELEVEN, but the clue is Hangman. This is a game of hangman. After Craig jumps off the waterfall in the first challenge, he says he feels like a hanged man.
-ABC clue: A B C B B
A C C B C A
Week 2: The way the clue was given was with the two lines center-aligned. So I immediately thought it was related to their seating arrangement in the execution, but I don't know what to make of the letters. Apparently people think it relates to grades people received on the quiz, which would make sense given that Liz was executed. However, this means Craig got a 'B' and then I'd be suspecting Clay as the Mole, who was one of the 'A' people. However, this also means Nicole got a 'C' and I'd have a hard time believing she's doing poorly on the quizzes.
-Text clue: Heart
Week 2: I don't know what this means. I tend to not prefer the clues where it's unclear whether or not there's a hidden meaning. Like the hangman one is one that interests me because it's clear there's something to figure out. Here, I don't know if it's literally referring to a heart or if I have to decode it or whatever. Liz had heart earrings. Bobby wrote that he <3's>-Text clue: Grapes
Week 3: Someone had a grape treatment at the spa. Really that obvious though? OH, it was Bobby. People have been suspecting the text clues refer to eliminated players. Liz with the heart earrings and now Bobby with the grape treatment. However, NIC@IT still points to Craig for me, so I don't know about that idea.
-Website clue: s666 - LIAr
Week 3: Fascinating. I'll work on this one.
-Text clue: cf(11)8
Week 4: See if '11' ate? Yeah, Craig wasn't at dinner when they did that challenge, thus costing the team a possible two thousand dollars and giving him the right to piss Mark off by continuing to be able to write meaningless things in his journal (assuming he's the Mole, of course).
-Website clue: EFG PQR ZOO
Week 4: It's actually written with the sets of letters stacked on top of each other. So I get these clues off of forums, by the way, and the ones I have looked to for reference are all in my links in the right column. If you write out the alphabet so that EFG is above PQR, and you decipher what ZOO refers to, you get ODD, which is interesting. There was an even/odd question this week, but I also remember the question of how many letters are in the Mole's name, and ODD would also apply there.
-Website clue: 234 715
Week 5: Where is number 6. Who is number 6? When? Paul was 6 in the first task, from left to right, but it's not him.
-Text clue: CHNO 111738
Week 5: Somebody pulled C11H17N3O8 out as some sort of chemical, which would go with neuroscientist, which would go with the theme of clues for eliminations.
-Website clue: 334 631 244
Week 6: Each set of numbers is on top of the other.. like many clues we've gotten. And they're all crossed out. Hmmm..

Possible Clues:

Week 2:
-Journal #11: At this point, I think it refers to person #11 in the intro: Craig. It's not a very meaningful clue. Take it as you'd like.
-Green thumbprint helmet: I kept this one around because I could've sworn I saw that helmet again in some preview.
-Last Supper: Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. LEONARDO. DiCaprio. It connects to the NIC@IT clue.
-Alexander Selkirk: He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. I think this is exactly the type of clue we should be expecting. It's easy to figure out if you think to google it. However, it's conveniently placed in the episode so that most people will overlook it. It's amazing to me that people completely disregard this. Everything is put in the show for a reason. They could've left the name out of the story, but they didn't. You could argue that it's a red herring, but I will not believe it was just a coincidence.
-Italia: Jon, the host, is wearing a shirt that says Italia on it. I tried to take notes this episode and that was the only halfway decent thing I wrote down. Like for example, I wrote down Liz = bunny when she tied that green bandanna around her head. Italia sticks out to me. It's odd that he was wearing it. It seemed out of place.
-Pisco Sours: Their second appearance. I don't know what I make of this clue, though. There is such a thing as a Pisco Italia, which would connect to the other arbitrary clue.
-Ransom Note: There are three missing letters on the random note: Y in 'your' U in 'throughout' and E in 'the.' Don't know what it means. (Note: I had it down as 'random' note but I mean 'ransom' and clearly the note was both.)
-All the religious references: People seem to think this refers to Victoria being from Bishop, Texas, but do you not all realize that Craig went to PLNU, a Christian school? While I tend to think blatant repeated symbolism is too excessive to be considered a reliable clue, if you do consider it a clue, then it points to Craig just as much as it points to Victoria, or a male with a Bible-name.
-JAIME on the side of a building: I don't know what it means. I'm tired. Post your thoughts if you want. I'll think about it when I'm less tired. So, like Friday, when I can finally sleep in.
-N 20 HL 70 on a label somewhere near the end of the episode?

No Mole this week?

2008-07-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

What the hell.. no Mole? I personally would rather not see what happens after the rose ceremony, but maybe that's just me..

The Mole 5: Episode 5

2008-06-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, guys. Here's this week's recap. I'm exhausted from having to wake up at 6:00A for student teaching and then not getting to relax and spend some me time until after 5:00P. That's pretty intense and it'll take some getting used to. At least I was able to get in my TV time tonight. I took notes tonight so I'll try to go off of those and hopefully not miss much because I probably won't have time to review the episode and edit this post.

All for one task-
I want to briefly talk about this because it's fascinating to me. Any situation that can result in everybody doing what was expected of them is fascinating. I don't find it interesting that Mark didn't go for the exemption. He wanted to be the hero. I am, however, very surprised that so many people were willing to leave him with the choice. I do think it's pretty apparent that Mark would not be able to completely alienate himself from the group, but it's still a pretty big step to take to leave the entire game in the hands of a lunatic.

Kristen: I give her credit for having the balls to be voting completely for one person. Obviously she was going for someone who had enough answers similar to the Mole for her to still be here, especially with strategic voting being a common strategy in the early rounds. I am very curious of who she tied with. When Katie left in season 2, I knew then that she had tied with Heather and that Heather now had a huge advantage in the game.. one which she screwed up, of course. This however, seems to me like Kristen's Mole pick suddenly ran out of common answers with the actual Mole. This quiz was very specific. I wonder if Alex actually still thinks it's Nicole. If he does, I would not be surprised if he tied with Victoria last time and now with Kristen. I don't see Kristen revealing her strategy to people, so I don't see this tie as anything particularly meaningful. It's too bad.. Kristen was a decent player. She just didn't stick her neck out enough.

Nicole: I find it fascinating that she suggests that she had voted for Victoria the last round. This makes me wonder how she's been getting through because the Mole has clearly probably been a male for many episodes already. I think she's funny and I think her interactions with the other players are very fascinating. Alex was right when he talked about how she varies her behavior. It's odd, and very clever. I hope she gets her shit together or else she's going to be in danger soon. I was disappointed, but not surprised, that she didn't get into the llama.

Paul: Speaking of llamas. Paul is interesting in this game. I think he tries to rile people up hoping that maybe they'll wonder why he keeps irritating people and whether it's a Mole tactic. However, I don't see anything he does as suspicious. I'm sticking myself out there this season. I hope readers appreciate the fact that I'm willing to state who I think is the Mole and who I've completely eliminated. I hope it makes it more interesting to read, in the case that I am wrong. Paul is not the Mole, guys. He's never been the Mole. Not even in theory. I'm not surprised he wouldn't get into the llama costume. I appreciate Craig trying to make the episode more entertaining, but I would never expect Nicole or Paul to become a llama. I liked how he called Clay's whole life a hypocrite. That was a nice touch to the episode. It's like when he said he had a photogenic memory in the first episode.

Alex: Alex is also not the Mole. I think he might still suspect Nicole and that will get him executed soon. The only thing is that I don't see how he would be getting through other than by tying with slower players. However, I have a bit of a hard time seeing Kristen voting Nicole the whole game. I can see her thinking it's Clay more than Nicole. This all makes me wonder about Alex's suspicions and whether he's lying in confessionals (or the editors aren't putting in his main suspicions). I predicted his elimination much earlier, so I am surprised that he's still here. If he actually is on the right track, I can see him lasting until final 5 or 4, but I don't see him making the finale.

Mark: I just want to say that I am worried about how much I dislike Mark because I have tended to dislike previous Moles, with maybe Frederique being the exemption.. not that I particularly liked her either. However, I could not stand Al, and Mark is more of an Al to me than anything else. I wrote down that Mark v. Alex v. Nicole for the exemption would be hilarious, but it ended up being not that interesting. It must have been really cold. I would have liked to see this task in a room with decent conditions. This is kind of like the jail cell task in season 2 when Myra let everyone out, but I much preferred that one because they weren't told of the exemption until a certain point in the task. Anyway, I wrote in my notes that Mark is a loser. I hate that he's moping and generally being Al-ish. I don't really have much to say about him this week except that he annoys me.

Clay: Clay has become more suspicious lately. There was so much God talk this episode, most of it surrounding Clay. I find his move in the first challenge a little suspicious, because I see him leaving as a sign that he was anticipating Mark possibly taking the exemption, so he wasn't going to bother with making himself look suspicious when he could just leave it to Mark to make himself look like a jackass. However, kind of like last week, if this was attempted sabotage, it was very unsuccessful. The thing with Clay is his fight with Paul was a little ego-driven and not what I would have expected from the Mole. I see the Mole more as someone who encourages fighting without actually being directly involved most of the time ::coughCraigcough::

Craig: Oh Craig, you Mole. I found it interesting that he referred to the pot as "my pot" in the first game. If I was the Mole, I would totally expect someone to take the exemption and wouldn't have even tried to look suspicious. In the second challenge, Craig does come out looking slightly suspicious, but I think it actually makes him look like he's looking out for himself rather than actually behaving suspiciously. I do find it interesting that he said "exemption" first. I don't know, I'm tired. I still think it's Craig. Has his name been entered during execution yet?

Mole suspects: Craig, Clay
Not the Mole: Paul, Alex, Mark, Nicole

The Mole 5: Clues (Updated Episode 5)

2008-06-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 2: I'm still working on this one. It could be one of those arbitrary ones and not like a secret message or code or anything.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 2: NIC@IT = NICATIT. Unscramble it. TITANIC. In episode 1, Craig stands on the boat just like DiCaprio did in Titanic.
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 2: Yes, it does conveniently spell out ELEVEN, but the clue is Hangman. This is a game of hangman. After Craig jumps off the waterfall in the first challenge, he says he feels like a hanged man.
-ABC clue: A B C B B
A C C B C A
Week 2: The way the clue was given was with the two lines center-aligned. So I immediately thought it was related to their seating arrangement in the execution, but I don't know what to make of the letters. Apparently people think it relates to grades people received on the quiz, which would make sense given that Liz was executed. However, this means Craig got a 'B' and then I'd be suspecting Clay as the Mole, who was one of the 'A' people. However, this also means Nicole got a 'C' and I'd have a hard time believing she's doing poorly on the quizzes.
-Text clue: Heart
Week 2: I don't know what this means. I tend to not prefer the clues where it's unclear whether or not there's a hidden meaning. Like the hangman one is one that interests me because it's clear there's something to figure out. Here, I don't know if it's literally referring to a heart or if I have to decode it or whatever. Liz had heart earrings. Bobby wrote that he <3's>-Text clue: Grapes
Week 3: Someone had a grape treatment at the spa. Really that obvious though? OH, it was Bobby. People have been suspecting the text clues refer to eliminated players. Liz with the heart earrings and now Bobby with the grape treatment. However, NIC@IT still points to Craig for me, so I don't know about that idea.
-Website clue: s666 - LIAr
Week 3: Fascinating. I'll work on this one.
-Text clue: cf(11)8
Week 4: See if '11' ate? Yeah, Craig wasn't at dinner when they did that challenge, thus costing the team a possible two thousand dollars and giving him the right to piss Mark off by continuing to be able to write meaningless things in his journal (assuming he's the Mole, of course).
-Website clue: EFG PQR ZOO
Week 4: It's actually written with the sets of letters stacked on top of each other. So I get these clues off of forums, by the way, and the ones I have looked to for reference are all in my links in the right column. If you write out the alphabet so that EFG is above PQR, and you decipher what ZOO refers to, you get ODD, which is interesting. There was an even/odd question this week, but I also remember the question of how many letters are in the Mole's name, and ODD would also apply there.
-Website clue: 234 715
Week 5: Where is number 6. Who is number 6? When? Paul was 6 in the first task, from left to right, but it's not him.
-Text clue: CHNO 111738
Week 5: Somebody pulled C11H17N3O8 out as some sort of chemical, which would go with neuroscientist, which would go with the theme of clues for eliminations.

Possible Clues:

Week 2:
-Journal #11: At this point, I think it refers to person #11 in the intro: Craig. It's not a very meaningful clue. Take it as you'd like.
-Green thumbprint helmet: I kept this one around because I could've sworn I saw that helmet again in some preview.
-Last Supper: Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. LEONARDO. DiCaprio. It connects to the NIC@IT clue.
-Alexander Selkirk: He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. I think this is exactly the type of clue we should be expecting. It's easy to figure out if you think to google it. However, it's conveniently placed in the episode so that most people will overlook it. It's amazing to me that people completely disregard this. Everything is put in the show for a reason. They could've left the name out of the story, but they didn't. You could argue that it's a red herring, but I will not believe it was just a coincidence.
-Italia: Jon, the host, is wearing a shirt that says Italia on it. I tried to take notes this episode and that was the only halfway decent thing I wrote down. Like for example, I wrote down Liz = bunny when she tied that green bandanna around her head. Italia sticks out to me. It's odd that he was wearing it. It seemed out of place.
-Pisco Sours: Their second appearance. I don't know what I make of this clue, though. There is such a thing as a Pisco Italia, which would connect to the other arbitrary clue.
-Ransom Note: There are three missing letters on the random note: Y in 'your' U in 'throughout' and E in 'the.' Don't know what it means. (Note: I had it down as 'random' note but I mean 'ransom' and clearly the note was both.)
-All the religious references: People seem to think this refers to Victoria being from Bishop, Texas, but do you not all realize that Craig went to PLNU, a Christian school? While I tend to think blatant repeated symbolism is too excessive to be considered a reliable clue, if you do consider it a clue, then it points to Craig just as much as it points to Victoria, or a male with a Bible-name.
-JAIME on the side of a building: I don't know what it means. I'm tired. Post your thoughts if you want. I'll think about it when I'm less tired. So, like Friday, when I can finally sleep in.

The Mole 5: Episode 4

2008-06-24T01:23:00.000-07:00

I finally have a car on campus, which means if I want to make puppy chow because I saw it on Jon & Kate Plus 8, then I can drive to Safeway at 11pm and buy the ingredients to make it. Yeah, this has nothing to do with the episode. Also, today was my first day of classes as a grad student. I don't have anything interesting or relevant to say about that, just felt like sharing. I got a new purse today. A friend thinks I should do a podcast, but apparently she doesn't realize this is what I'd end up talking about.

Mark: I apologize if anyone who knows Mark is reading this, but I cannot stand his character on the show. What a baby. Let me just say that if you are a true fan of this show, if you really know how this game is played, you know that you cannot rely on your journal. You know they will do something with the journals at some point. They always do. Victoria is right. Certain people need their journals to feel secure. He is Patrick exactly. It's kind of ridiculous how this is exactly what happened in season 2. Except Mark didn't get executed yet. Is he going to be Al and stick around way too long to annoy the hell out of me? It really pisses me off that he got that visibly angry about his journal. Also that nobody told him to grow up. This is both on a personal and game level. I'm pissed personally because I hate when people throw childish hissy-fits and I'm annoyed game-wise because any good player would not let that affect them that much. By the way, the puppy chow is delicious. Kate calls it monkey munch. It's chex mix with chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar on top.

Alex: Is he gone yet? He didn't do anything obnoxious this episode, but really, if he had or if anyone else had, I wouldn't have remembered it thanks to Mr. Hissy-fit. I do approve of him and Paul discussing how stupid it is to rely on a journal. He's too team-minded. Or at least Paul-minded, pretty much going along with Paul generally.

Victoria: See guys, VJG means nothing. I'm telling you, with the increased technology capabilities, if there is a hidden clue in the intro, it won't be so blatant. It'll be something that you have to figure out after you see it. When she agreed to give Clay the exemption, I immediately said she is not the Mole. I know I questioned it last week because she did say some questionable things, but the way she was acting this episode and especially how she was edited, I knew she'd probably be leaving. Now, she is the 5th to leave and we apparently the slowest by 5 seconds, so I will hold out on the fact that Australian Mole 4 did execute and bring back that season's Mole. Although I think if they did that it would be a mockery of the show. Please don't do that, producers. It was so obvious on Australian Mole. No, I really think Victoria was just a genuine player who had random red herrings tacked onto her character that made people think she was suspicious. See, even with my earlier insistence that she wasn't the Mole, I started wondering last episode and saw small things in her behavior that were meaningless.

Paul: Paul was less annoying this episode, but once again, what do we know, they all could've been raging lunatics but we would've never known. I find it interesting that he didn't think the giving up the journal thing was exemption-related and Nicole did. I pretty much saw that it wouldn't be exemption-related since there wasn't really an official task announced. I think Paul has a really good grip on this game. I can't say much more.

Nicole: She is not the Mole. I am so sure of this, it's like with Dorothy. A lot of people were telling me that she was the Mole, but I knew there was no way. She was so obviously playing the game. I will say it right now and if I'm wrong I guess I'll have to eat my hat or whatever, but I don't ever wear hats because of my huge head. She is not the Mole. I don't know what the audience consensus is on her, but I like her. It seems they've put her up against Paul, this bully-type character. I'm thinking the viewers will tend to dislike Paul and therefore will like Nicole, or at least not dislike her that much. I don't know though. All I know is a show returning after such a long hiatus will not edit their winner as an ass. Most likely they will make the winner likable, so I am not yet going to predict Nicole to win, but she's feeling like a Dorothy to me right now. Don't quote me on it, but I am thinking a Craig-Nicole-Paul finale with Nicole winning and Craig the Mole. I'm not going to say that for certain quite yet because I can see Clay sneaking in there, but I do want to put it in writing because that's how I feel right now. I was not surprised that Nicole tried to look suspicious during the climb and then at dinner. I'm afraid she'll become too blatant, but apparently not because a lot of people still suspect her.

Clay: Clay is interesting to me because he's very apparently last night's dinner. That sounds horrible. I actually mean he's like the type of character I would see as the Mole of a previous season. This is why I'm keeping him in there. And I was right about his character developing. It is inconsistent with what I would've expected, though, which is even more the reason why I'm keeping him out there. Lately, he's cost the team money by choosing not to do the public humiliation task and he tried to cost the team money by insisting on the exemption. This is interesting because it could easily be explained both ways. He could've insisted on the exemption because he knew he could get the other three to agree with him eventually if he was insistent. On the other hand, he could've insisted on the exemption thinking that Nicole would also insist on it. Knowing Nicole, I wouldn't be surprised if she had refused to give it to him. In fact, I think if the teams were any different, she might have. So this makes me wonder about Clay.

Kristen: She is probably not the Mole because who goes along with a decision so quickly when you have a valid point that could slow down the decision and potentially cause money to be taken out of the pot? Both she and Victoria had very valid points as to why they should get the exemption but they just went along with the group. It is not uncommon for players to be incapable of making a decision on this type of task, so the fact that it went so smoothly makes me pretty aware that those girls are not the Mole. Plus, haven't we established it's probably definitely a guy? The only one who came out even slightly suspicious in the exemption part of the task was Clay. I was surprised Nicole didn't say anything, but at the same time I wasn't. She likes to vary her game randomly to throw people off and if I was playing, I'd be very curious as to why she didn't even try to get that exemption. I'd like to think she thought of the entire scenario as an opportunity to screw with people's minds that was perhaps even more valuable than an exemption. Maybe she confused Victoria and Victoria voted for her. Maybe Alex still thinks it's Nicole and he and Victoria tied for last. I like how I'm talking about everyone except for Kristen in her section.

Craig: Do I even need to? Yet again his himself-ness held him back in a challenge and gave him an excuse to be completely missing for like half the episode. I'm never going to question something like altitude sickness or hypothermia because who would be able to or ever want to fake going in and out of consciousness? I will question small injuries til the sun goes down though. So I bet he tried so hard to get up that hill slowly so their money wouldn't count and what better way to conceal his suspicious behavior than to have his team holding a shitload of gold. Then, I wonder if it was the plan for him to act like he was sick, but then he actually got sick. I'm sure they had medics all over the place so that they wouldn't risk losing their Mole to illness, but I'm sure the producers were concerned when it got pretty serious. Then he got to miss a challenge and therefore the team had to forfeit what money he could've won automatically. And the stuff he missed conveniently was journal-related, which brings us back to the original 11 clue. Oh, and did you all see how his SLIKE shirt shows up so much in the previews for next week? That shirt is really suspicious to me. I feel like it wants to be a clue but I haven't actually found anything concrete. I'm waiting for SILKE to appear somewhere or to find out that his actual last name is spelled differently. Then that would be I lie with my eyes (I's).

Mole suspects: CRAIG, Clay
Not the Mole: Everyone else.. especially Mark

The Mole 5: Clues (Updated Episode 4)

2008-06-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 2: I'm still working on this one. It could be one of those arbitrary ones and not like a secret message or code or anything.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 2: NIC@IT = NICATIT. Unscramble it. TITANIC. In episode 1, Craig stands on the boat just like DiCaprio did in Titanic.
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 2: Yes, it does conveniently spell out ELEVEN, but the clue is Hangman. This is a game of hangman. After Craig jumps off the waterfall in the first challenge, he says he feels like a hanged man.
-ABC clue: A B C B B
A C C B C A
Week 2: The way the clue was given was with the two lines center-aligned. So I immediately thought it was related to their seating arrangement in the execution, but I don't know what to make of the letters. Apparently people think it relates to grades people received on the quiz, which would make sense given that Liz was executed. However, this means Craig got a 'B' and then I'd be suspecting Clay as the Mole, who was one of the 'A' people. However, this also means Nicole got a 'C' and I'd have a hard time believing she's doing poorly on the quizzes.
-Text clue: Heart
Week 2: I don't know what this means. I tend to not prefer the clues where it's unclear whether or not there's a hidden meaning. Like the hangman one is one that interests me because it's clear there's something to figure out. Here, I don't know if it's literally referring to a heart or if I have to decode it or whatever. Liz had heart earrings. Bobby wrote that he <3's>-Text clue: Grapes
Week 3: Someone had a grape treatment at the spa. Really that obvious though? OH, it was Bobby. People have been suspecting the text clues refer to eliminated players. Liz with the heart earrings and now Bobby with the grape treatment. However, NIC@IT still points to Craig for me, so I don't know about that idea.
-Website clue: s666 - LIAr
Week 3: Fascinating. I'll work on this one.
-Text clue: cf(11)8
Week 4: See if '11' ate? Yeah, Craig wasn't at dinner when they did that challenge, thus costing the team a possible two thousand dollars and giving him the right to piss Mark off by continuing to be able to write meaningless things in his journal (assuming he's the Mole, of course).
-Website clue: EFG PQR ZOO
Week 4: It's actually written with the sets of letters stacked on top of each other. So I get these clues off of forums, by the way, and the ones I have looked to for reference are all in my links in the right column. If you write out the alphabet so that EFG is above PQR, and you decipher what ZOO refers to, you get ODD, which is interesting. There was an even/odd question this week, but I also remember the question of how many letters are in the Mole's name, and ODD would also apply there.

Possible Clues:

Week 2:
-Journal #11: At this point, I think it refers to person #11 in the intro: Craig. It's not a very meaningful clue. Take it as you'd like.
-Green thumbprint helmet: I kept this one around because I could've sworn I saw that helmet again in some preview.
-Last Supper: Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. LEONARDO. DiCaprio. It connects to the NIC@IT clue.
-Alexander Selkirk: He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. I think this is exactly the type of clue we should be expecting. It's easy to figure out if you think to google it. However, it's conveniently placed in the episode so that most people will overlook it. It's amazing to me that people completely disregard this. Everything is put in the show for a reason. They could've left the name out of the story, but they didn't. You could argue that it's a red herring, but I will not believe it was just a coincidence.
-Italia: Jon, the host, is wearing a shirt that says Italia on it. I tried to take notes this episode and that was the only halfway decent thing I wrote down. Like for example, I wrote down Liz = bunny when she tied that green bandanna around her head. Italia sticks out to me. It's odd that he was wearing it. It seemed out of place.
-Pisco Sours: Their second appearance. I don't know what I make of this clue, though. There is such a thing as a Pisco Italia, which would connect to the other arbitrary clue.
-Ransom Note: There are three missing letters on the random note: Y in 'your' U in 'throughout' and E in 'the.' Don't know what it means. (Note: I had it down as 'random' note but I mean 'ransom' and clearly the note was both.)
-All the religious references: People seem to think this refers to Victoria being from Bishop, Texas, but do you not all realize that Craig went to PLNU, a Christian school? While I tend to think blatant repeated symbolism is too excessive to be considered a reliable clue, if you do consider it a clue, then it points to Craig just as much as it points to Victoria, or a male with a Bible-name.

The Mole 5: Episode 3

2008-06-17T02:57:00.000-07:00

We'll go by people again. I like that. Except, this time I'm typing as I watch. It think it'll be interesting to see my first reactions as I'm watching it.

Nicole: Can I just say one thing. I know some people don't like her. I do. She's playing the game much like Paul is, trying to get under people's skin, trying to throw them off. I do think it's funny that Paul feels threatened by her, and I do think a lot of it is because she's very head-strong and is playing the game aggressively. I think it would be way too obvious for her to be the Mole, the way she screwed up the fruit task. "You're so cool" (to Paul). She's right. That is what he wants to be and that is what to say to piss him off. I love that they're both trying to push each other's buttons and sometimes one does it better than the other and sometimes it's the other way around. I'm fascinated that they've been showing quite a lot of people's suspicions. I had a 5 theory too, although I really don't think it means anything in the game. If her suspicions are true to how she voted, it is very interesting that we now know Bobby isn't the Mole. It points to Craig once again. I know sometimes I'll do what people tend to do and assume things point to certain people when they don't actually just because I'm suspicious of them. There's an image somewhere of Nicole standing in front of the bribe money and contemplating taking it. That's interesting. I don't know how I feel about that and whether it was staged or not. I'm feeling more like Nicole is not the Mole but instead a strong contender.

Clay: Good job on the avocado-pear thing, however the screw-up with the rules is interesting to me because the episode focused on Craig and Victoria messing up and not Clay and Bobby. This has traditionally been a way the editors try to mask the Mole's suspicious behavior. Finding out that he's been working with Bobby and Mark is fascinating to me. I don't know how I feel about him opting out of the public humiliation challenge. Bill opted out of a similar clothing-type challenge and it wasn't given much thought.

Victoria: "I was engulfed by Craig. It was like body armor." The green thumbprint helmets are back and in full force. Mark said Victoria kept the talking going, but I have to disagree on that. From what I saw, very early on, Craig was encouraging her to repeat the list. He repeated it a couple times at the beginning, which I think prompted her to repeat it. This is also what I would call editor-miscuing where the editors will show a player talking about one player's sabotage to move the focus off of another player's similar (or in this case same) sabotage. "Is it still too late to take the money." I won't go along with the VJG clue that people apparently think is a giveaway, but this line would be extremely clever for the Mole to say. Hmmm. I don't know what I make of it yet.

Craig: I give him the credit for breaking the rules and talking at the finish line. To me, it looked like he was the one getting her to repeat the fruit. "There's not a single person in Santiago that's my size." "Bobby and I looked like a walking impersonation of the number 10." HAHAHA I love Craig. Whether or not I'm right about him being the Mole, I'd love to see him stick around. What is the easiest way to sabotage the clothing challenge? Be too large for most people's clothes. This is the perfect type of challenge for the producers to set up to make it easy for Craig to "sabotage."

Paul: Once again, Paul was paying attention with the rule thing. I do hate how he gets so upset when people screw up though. He is good at playing the game, but he's not so good at playing the players. I have to stress that it is so important in this game to not focus on winning money, but to focus on winning the game.

Mark: He wasn't suspicious in the fruit task. His coalition with Clay and Bobby clearly shows he is not the Mole in the way he talks to and about them. Clay I'm still not sure about, but I think it's been clear that Mark is not the Mole. He opts out of the public humiliation challenge.. interesting. Eh. Mark gets offended when Paul says he's obsessive. I would have taken it as a compliment. I do think Paul is too harsh when he just attacks people, but he's doing it with the purpose of playing the game. I (begrudgingly) side with Paul on this.

Kristen: Wasn't suspicious in the fruit task. I like how when she was questioning Nicole about the game, she made it clear that she thought Nicole was a liar for trying to look suspicious, yet Alex, who went along with it, was stealthy, or whatever she said. I would hope from one well-educated strong woman to the next there would be more camaraderie.

Ali: Eh. I don't like that she's siding with Paul and yelling at Nicole for playing the game. Do I think it's hilarious that the girls couldn't get clothes? Yes. They were not trying hard enough or doing the right things. She wanted to give up because she was frustrated, not because she wanted to sabotage. The whole time the bribe thing was going on, I was thinking, don't do it Nicole, don't do it, because she was looking around a lot. Then I realized she was trying to get people's reactions and expressions. I'm not surprised that Ali took the bribe. She knew she wasn't going to win. She knew her place in this game, and I do give her some respect for knowing she'd be better off taking the money. If a stronger player had gone for it, I'd be upset. I was upset when Elavia took the bribe, but in the long run, it did save Dorothy.

Alex: Go away, Alex, this show is about sleuthing, not checking out the ladies. Alex's Spanish skills make him clearly not the Mole to me. What the hell was that question about the two apples on the quiz? Hello, way too specific. There's been a couple of those on these past three quizzes and it makes me wonder. Why would they do that. There's an obvious majority answer that any smart person would go for in the earlier rounds.

Bobby: They also screwed up the rules in the fruit game. He's not the Mole, though, so I won't dwell on it. Bobby, the apple probably isn't a clue for New York. I won't toss it away as a possible clue, but I think it's actually somewhat of an homage to Anderson's tendency to eat things while contestants were doing grueling tasks next to him. I love the lady who told him he didn't need clothes, he needed food. Holy shit I did not see that double execution coming. Not even with the larger cast. Wow. That was strangely cruel for this show. Well, he wasn't the Mole. He also didn't make it as far as I thought he would. Can't say I'm entirely surprised.. well, I'm pretty shocked.

This episode did raise some more suspicions in my mind. I might even take Victoria off my "not the Mole" list, but I'm not sure. I'll sleep on it. I predicted Alex gone and he's still not gone with his theory of Nicole being the Mole. I considered Bobby a pretty decent player, so I'm wondering how he screwed it up. From what he said, it seemed he focused too much on one player who perhaps wasn't in the majority on some of the questions. I'll post about new clues tomorrow. I need to watch it again.

Mole: Craig, maybe Clay
Definitely not: Paul, Alex, Mark, Kristen. I'm not so positive about Victoria anymore, but I hope it's not her. I'm close to adding Nicole to the 'not' list, too. I think she goes far as a contestant.

The Mole 5: Pre-Episode 3

2008-06-16T18:37:00.001-07:00

I probably won't watch until tomorrow, which is when I'll post. While I'm here though, I might as well make some predictions. It looks like some sort of bribe is happening tonight. I think if it is an up-for-grabs bribe, Ali or Kristen would be most likely to take it. However, if it's an Elavia-type bribe, with the least-liked player getting the offer, Nicole will get the offer and I don't think she'll take it. And if it's not a bribe, I have no idea what's going on. Maybe it's just a challenge.

I still think it'll be Alex going home. Maybe Ali.

The Mole 5: Clues (Updated Episode 2)

2008-06-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

I know for the people who have been consistently reading my entries, you're all waiting for Craig to be executed to see how I deal with all my theories being wrong. I have to admit that I kind of hope it happens too. I'd have to look at everything all over again and in a new perspective. It happened in Season 2 when I thought it was Bribs.

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 2: I'm still working on this one. It could be one of those arbitrary ones and not like a secret message or code or anything.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 2: NIC@IT = NICATIT. Unscramble it. TITANIC. In episode 1, Craig stands on the boat just like DiCaprio did in Titanic.
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 2: Yes, it does conveniently spell out ELEVEN, but the clue is Hangman. This is a game of hangman. After Craig jumps off the waterfall in the first challenge, he says he feels like a hanged man.
-ABC clue: A B C B B
A C C B C A
Week 2: The way the clue was given was with the two lines center-aligned. So I immediately thought it was related to their seating arrangement in the execution, but I don't know what to make of the letters. Apparently people think it relates to grades people received on the quiz, which would make sense given that Liz was executed. However, this means Craig got a 'B' and then I'd be suspecting Clay as the Mole, who was one of the 'A' people. However, this also means Nicole got a 'C' and I'd have a hard time believing she's doing poorly on the quizzes.
-Text clue: Heart
Week 2: I don't know what this means. I tend to not prefer the clues where it's unclear whether or not there's a hidden meaning. Like the hangman one is one that interests me because it's clear there's something to figure out. Here, I don't know if it's literally referring to a heart or if I have to decode it or whatever. Liz had heart earrings. Bobby wrote that he <3's Alex.

Possible Clues:

Week 2:
-Journal #11: At this point, I think it refers to person #11 in the intro: Craig. It's not a very meaningful clue. Take it as you'd like.
-Green thumbprint helmet: I kept this one around because I could've sworn I saw that helmet again in some preview.
-Last Supper: Painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. LEONARDO. DiCaprio. It connects to the NIC@IT clue.
-Alexander Selkirk: He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. I think this is exactly the type of clue we should be expecting. It's easy to figure out if you think to google it. However, it's conveniently placed in the episode so that most people will overlook it. It's amazing to me that people completely disregard this. Everything is put in the show for a reason. They could've left the name out of the story, but they didn't. You could argue that it's a red herring, but I will not believe it was just a coincidence.
-Italia: Jon, the host, is wearing a shirt that says Italia on it. I tried to take notes this episode and that was the only halfway decent thing I wrote down. Like for example, I wrote down Liz = bunny when she tied that green bandanna around her head. Italia sticks out to me. It's odd that he was wearing it. It seemed out of place.
-Pisco Sours: Their second appearance. I don't know what I make of this clue, though. There is such a thing as a Pisco Italia, which would connect to the other arbitrary clue.
-Ransom Note: There are three missing letters on the random note: Y in 'your' U in 'throughout' and E in 'the.' Don't know what it means. (Note: I had it down as 'random' note but I mean 'ransom' and clearly the note was both.)
-All the religious references: People seem to think this refers to Victoria being from Bishop, Texas, but do you not all realize that Craig went to PLNU, a Christian school? While I tend to think blatant repeated symbolism is too excessive to be considered a reliable clue, if you do consider it a clue, then it points to Craig just as much as it points to Victoria, or a male with a Bible-name.

I do realize a lot of my clues could apply to multiple people as well, however, it's Selcraig that really sticks out to me. Anytime Jon tells a story, the details are important to pay attention to. There was no need for him to even mention Alexander Selkirk. He could've just talked about a man stranded on an island. The fact that that piece of information was included in the story really sticks out to me. If it is a red herring put there on purpose, that's pretty clever. I have a hard time believing it's a coincidence though.

The Mole 5: Episode 2

2008-06-11T03:36:00.000-07:00

I want to start off by saying I really appreciate everyone reading what I have to say, and I encourage anyone with disagreeing opinions to post responses. I think the beauty of this show is that it gets everyone to question everything, and everyone sees things differently. So I think the most effective way to go about figuring this out is with a lot of input from a lot of people. I know a lot of people are reading these Mole entries, so if you'd like to, I'd be really interested to know who everyone thinks is the Mole each week.

So here is my week 2 analysis. I'm still going to go person by person because we still haven't been given a particularly mentally-driven task yet. I'm going to use these episode summaries as a chance to analyze how each player is as a character on the show, and I'm going to focus less on the clues since I have a whole other post dedicated to that. I'm going to look at contestant behavior and interaction and try to develop a Mole profile. A big part of this game for me is trying to understand what the producers are thinking, what the editors are thinking, and how the production process might give us insight on who is the Mole.

Can I also stress that the key to doing well in this game is to focus on winning the game, not the money. The game in it's nature is a well-paying game. The winner will win a lot of money. That's guaranteed. If you focus on winning every single game, though, you're focusing on the wrong thing. Contestants make this mistake too often. That's one of the things I love about this game. If you're winning a lot of money for the team, you're not necessarily doing the best job at playing the game. In fact, most of the time, it would mean you're too obviously not the Mole, which, if the other contestants realize, will hurt your game in the long run.

Onto contestant discussion..

Liz: It became blatantly obvious this episode not only that Liz was not the Mole, but also that she had NO idea at all how to play this game, so much so that it really began to irritate me. I even thought she was going to stick around for a little longer just to irritate me with how clueless she is, but the friend that I was watching with saw past that and correctly predicted Liz's execution. What irritated me the most was the fact that this show finally returned after a long time of true fans thinking we'd never get it back. When it was announced that it was making a comeback, fans from all over applied to be on the show. So for all of us fans watching from home, I would appreciate it if all of the contestants would have prepared for the show by watching the previous seasons and making an effort to really understand this game. It is clear that Liz did not understand how this game is played. When Jon says to pick two people who are in for an uphill battle, with no knowledge of this being purely an exemption task, any person who understood this game would know immediately that the two people picked would have to either run or bike uphill. If you are Liz, you would not volunteer for this task, based simply on the physicality that is implied. It also really frustrated me when Liz had no idea what Paul was doing when he was shaking the pig and then ultimately when he broke it. Not only did she not figure out that there was an exemption inside, she still had no idea what was going on when Paul actually went through with his hunch and broke the thing. I call that complete cluelessness, and it was not something I wanted to see any longer on the show, so I'm glad she's gone. I don't mean to be harsh, but she had the opportunity to prepare for this show in order to increase her odds of doing well and she didn't make the effort to do so.

Paul: I give Paul a lot of credit for being a good contestant. However, I do have to say one thing about his obnoxious behavior towards other contestants. Any man who repeatedly questions another person's "manhood" or repeatedly tries to put down a strong and confident woman is a man who is self-conscious himself. I think the only problem with Paul's strategy is he's making it apparent that he's not the Mole. I think his personality just can't contain itself and he has to be loud and obnoxious. If he could hold back some, he's probably be an ideal player. Doing things with the sole purpose of throwing people off is actually pretty clever. I think Paul will make it pretty far. He thinks quickly on his feet. I definitely think he's an obnoxious person who I wouldn't want to spend time around ever, but I have to give him the credit he deserves for playing well so far.

Ali: She's not the Mole. I'd put money on it. She scored the winning goal. Also, she's just not doing much as far as the game goes, from what I see at least. I do think it's interesting that she stayed with Paul when he was fanning Liz during the race task. Well, not particularly interesting, but I had to find something to say.

Alex: I do give him credit for knowing that there was an exemption in one of the pigs. It just happened to be one that Paul was hanging out with. I think it's funny he left his notebook in the other room to go and serenade Paul with that strange instrument. What was that? It was kind of interesting. Where did it come from? If he actually purposely left it there with misleading information, then that could be pretty clever. However, nobody besides the Mole knows what type of information is actually misleading. He's sort of a wannabe Paul. He's everything Paul is, as far as being a player in this game, but to a lesser extent. He's obnoxious, but not as vocal as Paul. He's a decent player, as far catching onto how this game truly works, but he's not as strong as Paul. I still think he leaves fairly soon.

Bobby: He's either trying really hard to look suspicious or he thinks he's on Survivor and is only eating coconut and ants. I don't know.. he makes the show interesting. "We already know you think it's Nicole. We already know you're a moron." I loved that. I think Bobby's technically a strong strategic player, but I still think he'll get tripped up in the end. I have a hard time not comparing current contestants with past contestants because there's clearly a trend in how the players are cast.. he's Bribs to me. I don't think he's the Mole.

Victoria: Okay, she's not the Mole. You all can try to say VJG in the credits means she's the Mole, but until someone tells me what her middle name is, I won't consider that anywhere close to a valid clue. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but I just can't see how any of her actions would make her the Mole. However, I do think she's hilarious on the show. Not particularly for anything she does, but my friend and I think she gets haircuts between the episode because she looks different in different shots. I was going to take a bunch of screen shots and put up a post about how I found a bunch of clues and had pictures to prove it and then just post a bunch of images of Victoria's hair looking different. I do like her for standing up for Bobby, though. I like her as a person.

Mark: Al, anyone? I want to say that his behavior this episode shows that he's not the Mole. He seemed too desperate. He's the player who tries to control a lot of the decisions, wants to be a leader, and gets frustrated when people don't follow his lead. Like in the pig challenge when he kept being useless and restating the obvious every five seconds. I think it's pretty apparent that if the pigs stay on the wrong side of the pen, they won't count. It's also apparent that if your group had gotten back more quickly, some of those pigs on the outside might already be inside. I don't like how he talked back to Jon. Whatever, Mark. Maybe he'll be gone soon.

Kristen: "I've got a wheelbarrow full of Bobby." HAHA I liked that. I think the exemption task showed that she's probably not the Mole because she kind of just went along with Mark. I don't know, she just seems very straightforward. Can I just say this game needs to pick the hell up? I'm tired of exemptions being given away. I liked the pig one, but I want some surprise exemptions. And I want more intellectual games, or strategic games. Not just athletic ones. As far as Kristen goes, I don't really have anything to say. She's not that interesting as a player. She was doing great at running up that hill, though, and I do believe if Mark had stopped being an ass and let her push the bike, she'd still have stuck it out like a champ. If you whine about the task, she says she's doing fine, you whine about it being harder to push the bike, she offers to push it, and you say no because you want to be in charge.. then stop whining.

Clay: Clay is one big mystery to me. He's hasn't stood for any good or bad reason ever. If this was an earlier season of the Mole, I'd be extremely suspicious of him. I don't think we've been told anything about him, though. I wonder why he's hidden. Is he leaving soon, or will his character develop all of a sudden later? I would still leave him on the suspect list because his character is such a mystery, but I haven't seen anything supporting the theory of him being the Mole.

Nicole: I think Nicole is hilarious and I think she's either really clever or she's still possibly the Mole. I love that she threatened to kill Paul and nobody did anything about it. I love that she said she wouldn't leave any forensic evidence. For her to switch her demeanor around so suddenly shows that she's either trying to confuse people, which is smart, or she's just a little crazy, which makes her funny. I think that like Paul, but to a lesser extent, she's sticking herself out there a little too much at this point. But she's still a possibility. If she's not the Mole, I can see her battling it out with Paul in the end.

Craig: Let's start with what ridiculous things he did this episode. He volunteered to be in the uphill battle group. I am willing to believe Liz had no idea what the task would actually be, but I would have expected Craig to know. This is interesting, though, because the task ended up being one that would lose money. Had Craig been riding the bike, I don't think he would've made it to the top first. I don't know if this means he's not the Mole, or if the producers didn't fully tell him what the tasks were. I will say I questioned this a little. Then he kicks the ball into their own goal, which nobody makes a big deal about. He does kind of save the day with the pig launcher, although I feel like they would've figured it out with more people there. And taking charge of the launcher takes some suspicion off of him, while it actually lets him control the success of the challenge. They did add money to the pot, but who knows if he purposely miscued some of them.

Mole: Craig, Nicole, maybe Clay
Not the Mole: Paul, Ali, Alex, Bobby, Victoria, Kristen, Mark

I do honestly feel like I can completely eliminate Paul, Ali, Alex, and Bobby. And I want to say Kristen completely, but she's been extremely neutral as far as players go, kind of like Clay, and I still question Clay, so I should probably still question Kristen.

The Mole 5: Clues

2008-06-07T01:44:00.000-07:00

**UPDATED TO ADD CLUE**Scroll down..

Let's keep a list of clues from the show. I'll include ABC-given clues and anything else suspicious that appears in the show. I do have Episode 1 on my computer and will continue having access to the episodes, so depending on how much time/interest I have, I might be able to go through and comb for clues. Although I'd like to think they will give us enough clues that we can see from just watching the episodes.

Official Clues:

-The EW clue: I LIE WITH MY EYES
Week 1: Interesting. Is this supposed to be a clue when you read it or when you hear it. There might be a code involved. It might be a fairly literal suggestion. It might mean I lie with my "I"s if you read it out loud. It might refer to Craig's glasses. I don't think any of these clues can be figured out without the addition of some other clues, so we'll keep this an ongoing list.
-ABC clue: NIC@IT
Week 1: This might be a series of first letters of words from a statement. I don't think it refers to Nicole simply by the "NIC."
-ABC clue: E_E_E_
Week 1: To me, this hints at the #11 clue. If we are meant to fill in letters to make a word, and the word is "ELEVEN," then the missing letters are L, V, N. It's possible that the clue is only hinting at the #11 clue, but I think there's a reason only the E's are shown and a reason why there are blanks in the word. Do we focus on the missing letters or the ones that are shown.

Possible Clues:

Week 1:
-Journal #11: Host holds up journal #11. Craig is the 11th in the intro sequence. Mark is the 11th to jump. I have heard that Craig got journal #11, but this is not at all confirmed.
-Green thumbprint helmet: Victoria has a green thumbprint on her helmet. I don't think this at all means she's the Mole. I hope the clues aren't dumbed down this much. It would make a mockery of the show that we as fans love so much. Because I trust the producers, I'm going to say it's either a red herring or it eliminates her as a suspect, or it is a clue pointing to something else. She jumped 8th. Victoria Falls is an actual location.
-Last Supper: Host mentions Last Supper. If I am remembering correctly from what I read about it, there were 12 people besides Jesus and it had just been announced that one was a traitor. Nicole wasn't there at the time. Also, if we're insinuating here that the new host is Jesus, I think that's pretty absurd. Maybe if Anderson Cooper had come back to host..
-Chicago: I have heard that "Chicago" flashes quickly at some point in the episode. Nicole is from Chicago. This would be an absurdly obvious clue, though, so I think it's either a red herring or it refers to something else.
-California: The city they are in is Los Angeles. The boat that was shown said "Jose" on it. Los Angeles, San Jose, both cities in California. I don't find this to be strong evidence though.
-8: Apparently the number 8 appeared a lot in the opening. Victoria jumped 8th with her green thumbprint helmet. Maybe 8 is also an important number. Liz is 8th in the opening.
-5: While we're at it, I'll throw in 5. This is season 5. Nicole is the 5th introduced. Mark was the fifth called at execution. Craig is the 5th alphabetically. Oh, and by the way, the producers made the mistake of putting Ali ahead of Alex on the quiz. I don't think it's a clue, it's just easy to make the mistake of thinking a shorter name comes before a longer one. Who was the 5th to jump? Bobby..
-Alexander Selkirk: Holy shit, guys. So I've been reading all about the Last Supper trying to find a clue and all along, it was Alexander Selkirk, the Robinson Crusoe guy. Wikipedia him, do it now. He was born Alexander SelCRAIG. Are you kidding me? This is more like it.. not an obvious clue, but one that viewers can figure out. Easier than spotting random numbers or letters shown during the show for only a few second. This is something the host actually says. So it's easy to overlook. It was all the strange stories that got me thinking to look them up. I could find nothing at all on the waterfall incident, which is kind of suspicious too. This has got to be some clue..

BTW thank you for reading and thanks to Erin for the comment on the previous post!

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 20

2008-06-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

I love this show. And I love Vegas week just like I love Hollywood week on Idol. And I hate that it was just an episode this year. Didn't they at least do the Top 20 announcement in one episode last year? Although I do feel like they showed a lot somehow. It felt more like Vegas week of two seasons ago, when they had to go through many different choreographers and were voted on each round. I have to say, Mary's less annoying this year, and seems like she's just being herself instead of a caricature or Paula Abdul wannabe. Actually, all the judges have been pleasant this year. And the show is still wonderful. My biggest complaint with Idol is that it's become such a production.. It's like blown out of proportion, whereas SYTYCD has stayed true to its initial concept and has kept it simple yet fascinating. Also, I do enjoy Cat as the host, and I see other shows are convinced a British host will make the show better ::coughLastComicStandingcough:: No, a great concept, great characters, and great editing make a show great.

Anyway, our Top 20. What do we think? My first impression throughout the episode was that they cut A LOT of ballroom and kept A LOT of hip-hop and contemporary. Do I sense some pressure for more hip-hop influence on this show?

Twitch: I love Twitch. He's such a nice guy, very humble, very genuine. I have a feeling people will love voting for him. He's really good too.

Kherington: I'm surprised she's here, actually. I thought that choreographer's daughter would make it over her. Maybe they're going for interesting names this year. Not saying she's bad, just not particularly memorable.

William: I don't really remember Will. He's a contemporary dancer. I don't know, he seems nice.

Jessica: I don't really know who she is either, but under the choreographers she'd like to work with, she included Kabba Modern and Geo Hubela, which I find interesting. Is this from watching Dance Crew or from before that?

Kourtni L: She's the one whose mom looks the same age as her. I don't like how she spells her name, but I don't know otherwise. She's pretty good. I just wonder how certain people end up getting through over others. There are so many contemporary dancers to start with, I find it to be a little arbitrary sometimes, but I'm assuming she was consistently very good throughout Vegas week.

Rayven: Says she does contemporary and ballet. Have we seen her? I think this season has been pretty decent about showing a majority of the dancers, but for some reason I feel like not many of them stick out. Maybe it's because not everybody is someone's sibling from a previous season.

Matt: His profile is kind of odd. He says his age is 22 (double-digits) and I'm guessing he means two of the same number/palindrome, but really, the only people excited to be double digits is 10-year-olds. Also, it says he wants three boys when they asked him if he has kids.

Chelsea T: Her hometown is Flower Mound. I really like all these contestants flipping out about the question about if they have any kids. It's nice compared to the family ordeal we have going on with Idol, where everyone is married and/or has children.

Chris: I like that it seems like they gave them these profile questions, let them fill them out, and then just posted whatever they typed down. As you can see, I have nothing to say about a lot of these people.. I just don't remember them. Hopefully they'll become more memorable soon.

Katee: This is the girl whose roommate pretty much gave up her spot for her, right? She is the better dancer, but I think it was kind of cruel that the judges made them come up together and then made them answer questions and then made them leave the stage for awhile. Like that was a little unnecessarily cruel to basically have them fighting over the last spot. I don't know if they were trying to get drama out of it.. see if they'd turn on each other, or see if they'd get a big emotional scene. Questionable..

Joshua: Is he the one that's friends with Comfort? He's the one that really started crying when they told him, right? He seems nice. They have a lot of nice people on this year.. no assholes really. Not many huge personalities either, which is what I'm worried about.

Thayne: Oh interesting.. he started when he was 21 and he's 27 now. The grandpa of the show. He doesn't really look any older, but I find it interesting that he started at an age that's older than a lot of the contestants are now. Sabra started later, too, though, I remember.

Gev: He's a breaker. I vaguely remember him. He's Armenian.

Comfort: I think I like Comfort. If I had to choose one that stood out so far, I'd pick her. They really want a hip-hop winner this year.

Jamie: Eh. His favorite dancer is Benji. That's kind of a lame answer, sorry. He's ballroom.. the only guy, huh.

Susie: I'm surprised she's here. Apparently she's got some technique. I know she's marketable, but I'm surprised after seeing her first audition. She's a "Latin/hip-hop" dancer.

Marquis: Oh my god he's so young.. I've started getting scared lately that so many reality contestants are now younger than me.

Courtney G: Hip-hop/contemporary. So if they claim part-hip-hop in their title I just assume it means they're trained in it but consider themselves the other style of dancer mostly. I don't know about her..

Chelsie H: Is she the one who wore a really short dress in her audition? With the really strong legs? She's a ballroom dancer, which is nice, because it's rare this season. I think because of her strong legs (if indeed that's her) and her strong looks, she'll probably make it to the Top 10 easily, particularly because ballroom is so low on numbers this year.

Mark: Contemporary. He's Hawaiian. I don't really have much to say.

This season is kind of astonishing. I'm surprised that ballroom dancer with the short hair didn't make it.. the girl with the long face? Isn't this cast kind of bizarre? I'm guessing Twitch is a fan favorite so far, but I really don't see those huge personalities that make this show so lively. I guess we'll see once they get their partners next week.

The Mole 5: Episode 1

2008-06-04T01:48:00.000-07:00

Time for Mole thoughts. We'll see what format works best for these recaps. I'm going to start with separate sections for each player so I can make sure I cover all of them.

Marcie: It was clear she was not the Mole when she said she was happy that all the other players thought she was the Mole. Did she fall into an alliance with the wrong person.. perhaps. If Paul's strategy was to use Marcie to test out the waters, he was very successful in picking his alliance-mate.

Alex: I don't have a good feel for him yet. He didn't get a bag in the first challenge. He's also in an alliance with Paul, or a pretend-alliance or whatever.

Ali: She wasn't really focused on this episode except to when she told us about how she prayed she wouldn't die in the raft challenge. Under-developed character meant to me she's either extremely boring and will be executed quickly or they're waiting to develop her character.

Bobby: His lack of athleticism in the beach challenge reminded me to Rob from Season 2 when he couldn't get up the hill. Interesting. Bobby is a huge fan of the show, which makes me think he's a contestant and not the Mole. He's a good pick to be a suspicious contestant who plays pretty well and gets more than halfway through but ends up making a costly mistake before the final weeks. I'd say like Bribs. Bobby did get the bag in the first challenge, which he could have easily missed and blamed on his lack of athleticism and it wouldn't have been more suspicious than most of the others who missed. He couldn't be sure Marcie would pick him to jump for the fake money, so if he was the Mole, I don't think he would've gotten the bag after seeing surprising failures before him.

Clay: He's laying a bit low. Unlike with Ali where I'm unsure if her character will develop, I'm pretty certain Clay will be around long enough for us to get a feel of who he is. He didn't do anything stupid or outwardly suspicious, which means I still consider him as a possibility. He got the money, which he should have if he was the Mole, even though he would've guessed Marcie would choose him to get the money. Missing would've been too suspicious so early.

Craig: At first, I thought there is no way he can be the Mole.. he stands out too much. However, there are a number of things in this episode that may or may not be clues pointing to him. The host holds up journal 11 when he talks about the journals. Craig is the eleventh person in the intro sequence. I have also heard that he got the eleventh journal, which makes it seem too obvious to me, but hey, we weren't shown he got that journal. Maybe he didn't actually get it or maybe he did and we'll see it in a later episode when the clue isn't so fresh in our minds. Also, apparently he had a different helmet from everyone else in the first challenge. It wasn't as obvious as Victoria's green thumbprint red herring helmet.. some of the detailing on the front and sides were different. This might just be because he has a bigger head than everyone else. And I'm not making fun of him.. I have a huge head. Mine is filled with useless knowledge.. mostly about reality shows. Maybe his is filled with useful information. Also, choosing him as the Mole means he always has a good excuse for screwing up an extremely athletic challenge. More importantly, it means he'll be able to claim leadership roles when the challenges are obviously athletic and the leader or decision-maker doesn't have to do the task. Also, Craig's name and information is the only one not to flicker in the opening sequence.

Kristen: I don't think it's her. As a friend pointed out, two celebrity Moles were models. Would they really do another model. Not that I think many people really think back to the celebrity editions when looking at trends over the seasons. I just don't get the feel that she is the Mole. If I were her, I would have thought Marcie would pick me as someone to jump for cash and I would've messed up, especially after seeing Alex and Ali miss. Wait. That makes me wonder.. were the jumps in alphabetical order for the most part. Craig did not jump in the correct place if it was alphabetical. No never mind, I don't think it was. Just the first two.

Liz: I didn't think it would be Liz at first, but I'm more open to the possibility now. Especially when she got the bag. Oh look, the sweet old lady is a team player and she kicked ass. Excellent way to start off the show, with no one suspecting you. She knew there was no way Marcie would pick her to jump for the cash. A move like that would mean Marcie was too obviously sabotaging, which would make it obvious to everyone she was not the Mole. I think Liz knew Marcie wouldn't take that risk.

Mark: He was called fifth in execution. This is season 5. Something about him strikes me as a possible candidate for someone the producers would choose. Also, I'm leaning towards a guy just because 3 of 4 seasons have had female Moles. That's hardly anything to go on, though. Being a history teacher, he and the producers would have thought the selector, Nicole, would pick him to be an appraiser, or whatever the role was called. I need to get my terminology down before I write next time. Or as Bribs' mom Teri would say, "Get with the lingo." Mark stands out to me but I can't exactly say why. Maybe he's supposed to be edited to look suspicious.

Nicole: After her hissy fit, I thought no way would the Mole stick out so much in the first episode. Then, I thought, hmmm but that's what we've been conditioned to expect. We expect an UTR Mole, someone who hides behind other contestants' mistakes and quietly sabotages. Angie Everhart, although I dislike her, was brilliant in breaking the mold. She did what I thought no Mole would ever dare to do. She told Corbin, "I hope you vote for me, I really do." It's actually brilliant to blatantly sabotage and be annoying because everyone will just write it off as someone trying too hard to look like the Mole. Also, her fit was so completely unnecessary and played into the next day's game sooo much. I initially thought no Mole would isolate themselves on the second day, but more and more it convinces me that my beliefs on what a Mole would or would not do mean everything she's doing--if she is the Mole--brilliantly defies my brand of logic, and I'm assuming many other fans' logic as well. It could actually be brilliant. I'm interested in seeing how she behaves in the future. Being disliked will also put you in interesting positions for the challenges because people will often single you out. It could be the most bold strategy ever.

Paul: Paul is not the Mole. Paul just wants to set himself up to win the game. Which is smart until your actions are known by too many people. Then you seem too ruthless to be trusted, and also obviously not the Mole.. like Patrick from season 2. We'll see how far he takes it. His brand of strategy could technically be brilliant.. aligning with weaker players who will help you eliminate suspects as they themselves are executed. However, it's too bold if it's apparent to others what he's doing that it might actually come back and bite him in the end. There are different strategic facets of this game. One involves how you choose to play the challenges. Another involves how you choose to play the other contestants. Too bold of a play on the other contestants can often be a contestant's downfall. Although you never want to be too aggressive in acting like the Mole in the challenges, you also never want to be too aggressive as a quiz-strategy game-player. I think Paul will either tone it down and last long or go ballistic and get eliminated third or fourth.

Victoria: Victoria is not the Mole. Huge ass green thumbprint on her helmet. Way to go on the subtlety. I'm unsure about how far she will go though. She could be an interesting one. A lot of people have mentioned the fingerprint, which is what makes me so sure she's not the Mole. Too obvious. What position did she jump in, though? 8th. Yeah, means nothing to me. Mark jumped last and was the fifth called in execution. I do think the 11 means something more obscure though. Victoria is a tricky one to figure out. I can't say she'll definitely leave early, I can't say she'll definitely stay long. Tricky.

Who is most likely the Mole to me at this point: Craig, Nicole, Mark, Clay
Who is not the Mole: Paul, Victoria, Ali, Bobby, maybe Alex
Who does that leave me with: Kristen and Liz. Interesting.
Next to leave: Alex?

Yoanna House

2008-06-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

So back when I set this blog up, I put a statcounter up to see if anyone was visiting. Since then, I've obviously lost interest for quite some time and I recently just remembered I had the counter up. So I checked it and apparently a lot of people have been led to my blog through searching for the terms "Yolanda" and "Top Model" and the reason they've been directed towards my blog by google is because I once had a post about Top Model that also included several small updates on other reality shows/events. I mentioned the Women of Reality awards or whatever that was, and Yolanda from The Amazing Race was on that.

So to all the people who will continue to stumble onto this blog in search of "Yolanda" from Top Model, I would like you to know that you are probably looking for Yoanna House, the winner from Cycle 2. Unless there's a Yolanda from another country's Top Model. Anyway, hopefully those searching for information on Yoanna will now know her full name and be able to re-google her correctly.

I am so not done with this blog, by the way. The Mole was revived, so I have likewise decided to revive this blog. Hopefully after I get through finals and graduation, I will still remember and continue to post. Mole thoughts to come soon. A friend suggested I do a Molecast, which would be fun and exciting for me, but I figure there's nothing especially interesting about my voice or manner of speaking that a podcast would be more effective than a simple blog. Plus, I'm sure I'd rather look back on my thoughts in the future by reading than by listening. Anyway, I think I should probably end this post with these thoughts.. Dreams can come true :) Welcome back, The Mole.

2008: Endings and Revivals

2008-05-26T03:53:00.000-07:00

May is such a turning point for reality television that I actually felt the need to revive my old blog. Can you believe it. I don't even remember the style in which I wrote my entries. Don't care. There are so many shows that have come to an end in the past few weeks and the summer season is just getting started. Do you remember when summer television was all reruns. Summer season is now incredible. Especially this summer. I can't remember why, but a big part of it includes SYTYCD and THE MOLE.

Who would've ever thought that years of whining and hoping and getting stocked up on Australian and British and fan versions would result in an actual REVIVAL of the best television show that has ever existed. Arrested Development may have been too clever for the general public but apparently The Mole is not. Both a good sign and perhaps bad. Hopefully it won't be dumbed down too much. Australia did a revival and that version was still good.

Survivor:
Can we talk about Survivor: Half-ASS. Of course this means half-All-Star Survivor. Nothing suggesting this was a bad season. Because it was THE BEST season. I know I love Marquesas, Amazon, and Vanuatu, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I have no idea why. I can tell you why I loved Half-ASS. Blindsides became the theme, yet I was still routinely shocked. And let me tell you, years and years of watching reality shows and getting accustomed to particular brands of editing, I am not often shocked. This season, however, when you think they can't pull it off again, they do it.

Parvati. I'm pretty sure I covered her season in this blog way back when. I know I said somewhere that she was my new Morasca. I said she would be an excellent strategic player. And she made a fool of me in her first season. When she came back this season, I was not anticipating much from the strategic department. Boy did she prove me wrong and prove my initial read of her right. Girl knows how to play. This is the best example of learning from your previous mistakes. She came in and actually used her previous reputation to her advantage. It's almost as if she played her first season knowingly setting herself up for this season. I give her a standing ovation for a job well-done.

Now that I look at it, would she have beaten Cirie. I think she might have. If she could convince a jury that Amanda, who had won some challenges and played the most bold acting game with the HII, did not deserve to win over her, she could have convinced them that she outplayed Cirie. The amazing thing is Parvati was both the person everyone thought they'd want to go up against in the finals, and the person everyone had aligned with to go to the finals. She wasn't just the person who was kept around because people thought they could beat her. She actively played every aspect of this game.

In this game, only once before has anyone given up an immunity necklace to someone else, knowingly risking their own position. Do you remember who it was. Jenna Morasca, brilliant mind of Survivor. Players have come and gone who haven't even had the balls to give away a HII when they had the immunity necklace. To give up an immunity necklace with no guarantee behind it is the boldest move possible on Survivor. The only potentially bolder move would be to give up a necklace and a HII. Who would've thought this season would bring another epic move with the immunity necklace. This time, though, there was no Morasca brilliance to it. At least on Eric's part. That plan concocted by the girls, however, was brilliant. I think they made Ami Cusack proud that day.

Can I also say that Ami Cusack has grown tremendously from her last appearance. Not saying she was completely harsh the first time, but the Ami I saw this season was such a more compassionate Ami, that perhaps was her demise.

So I didn't live Parvati through the first half of the season because she was trying to ax my season-favorite, Eliza every single day. Looking back at it though, it was a move she needed to make. Eliza would have been a threat near the end. More so than Yao-Man. They were right when they questioned Cirie's insisting on eliminating him early. However, Eliza on the jury may have made the show even better than it would've been with her still in the game. With so many twists and turns, there was no better commentator than Eliza's animated expressions. And in the end, she recognized Parvati's brilliance and commended it, so I thank her also for a great season.

This season deserves some sort of picture montage of all the brilliant moments. OH let's not forget Tracy, who was such a wonderful strategist and manipulator in the first half of the season. This is perhaps the reason why the entire season was so amazing. Parvati saw less action at the beginning, and picked up where Tracy left off, eliminating strong physical players. It's a shame Tracy's game had so many pre-existing roadblocks the minute she stepped into her tribe. She really set the scene for a season that wrote its own rules. Since it is way too late for me to be awake, perhaps I will continue tomorrow with either a deeper evaluation of Half-ASS or my thoughts on other finales and my anticipation of The Mole: The Best Show Returns.

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 20

2007-06-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

Last season on So You Think You Can Dance:
The judges took a chance with Ivan and we were given the chance to watch an amazing transformation. Ashlee was cut for no good reason, which pissed me off. Looking back at the competition now, Travis and Allison should have been the final 2. And in other news, I think everyone knows it's about time a girl won, and I think the judges will really push that this season.

This week on Apparently You Just Need to be Related to Someone from a Previous Season:
I don't really understand the cuts. From what I hear, what actually happened with the group cut at the beginning of the show was they were cut right at the end of Vegas Week. Then, the others were sent home and brought back weeks later. They wanted to make it seem like it was the same day, so they all had to wear the same clothes.

I don't understand how they made their decisions, though. First of all, why the hell do we have THREE ballroom girls? Why? Let's break this down. Because they couldn't cut Anya, because she's the best one. Then there's Stanislav's sister and Benji's sister. Apparently this is college admissions and you get legacy points. That is bull. Faina has the same cocky look as Stanislav. I don't know if that's just their facial structure or what, but I cannot see America liking her any more than they did Stanislav. Also, what is with the women connected to Stanislav passing out all the time?

Don't even get me started on Lacey.

My favorites? I love Lauren Gottlieb. I don't want to call her Misha or whatever it is she goes by. What's wrong with the name Lauren? I think by default I already prefer the b-girl, Sara. As for guys, I've always loved Hok. I really wish it was Twitch instead of D-Trix, though. Also, now Travis has a brother, too? I don't understand. If he's such as ass and if Lacey's so full of herself, why are they here?

Interesting.. there's another Ashlee. That's three seasons of girls who don't spell their named the typical "Ashley." I'm really excited to see some Tyce Diorio routines again! Also, let me say, I don't understand the difference between Lauren helping out Tyce once on the show and Hok being everyone's favorite person ever but without a Visa. I'm pretty sure they're just going to end up favoring the person who's the best dancer. Nothing wrong with that. And what about the siblings? They should certainly get the same speech about favoritism, except they didn't because the judges would be lying if they said they weren't going to favor them. I still call bullshit on that.

The girl cut at the end I much prefered to Lacey. Caitlin Cuccharia, I'm fine with, because if she stays with her plan to come back next year and doesn't get pregnant like someone else we know, she'll be in a much better position next year. Well, we also said that about Jaclyn Crum around the time of Idol 4, and look at her now, a mother of two. Strange coincidence there that they both ended up having babies.

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see the pairs next week. I wonder if it'll be like last season or like the first season, which had new pairs every week. I think I like the way they did it last year, because it made a big distinction between Top 20 and Top 10. I'll soon figure out my sure favorites next week. I know this is the first update in forever, but it's So You Think You Can Dance. I had to, busy or not. Until next time..

Survivor Fiji

2007-05-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I've updated and it's because I've been so incredibly busy. At first it was just finals and then I started working on this film/tv show project with a master's student who's doing this for her thesis. And right now I'm really tired, but I have to talk about Survivor before my thoughts disappear.

This season is fascinating for me. So far it's been a really interesting game. Fun to watch. Except for when Jeff decided to orchestrate Michelle's exit. What the hell was that? Had everything gone like a normal show does, Michelle would still be here and this season would be awesome. Since she's gone, it's only been decent. However, there are several redeeming qualities.

First of all, Dreamz. I think we need to take some time and appreciate how ridiculous he is. He's playing this game like nobody ever has. I have never seen someone play both sides like he has.. by telling the truth to both alliances. He pretty much tells each side what the other side told him. Back and forth. Back and forth. Of course, in his head, he's leading one side on while he's solidly on the other side. Well, after Edgardo left, it was more obvious that Dreamz wasn't aligned with them. But up until that point, he had been pretty ambiguous.

He's been the biggest snake in this game, as far as riding the fence goes, but I really think he does it without thinking he's doing it. It's ridiculous. He just wants to stay friends with everyone that he likes.

Then there's Stacy, who flat out said she was a "freakin follower" this past episode. Also, I love that nobody thinks she deserves to be there, yet we hear nothing from her in confessional about how everyone hates her. It's so funny to me. She's shown that she's smart, thinking of the Edgardo trick vote, but if she and Michelle are carbon copies, like Michelle said, then Michelle's obviously the better version. She's the beta version.

By the way, Michelle interview with Dalton Ross and my favorite Survivor ever, Jenna Morasca, most ridiculously funny person.. Michelle said this quote that I think is hilarious: "But in everybody else's eyes, it was 'Why do we need two of the same little girl running around.'" This is on the topic of her and Stacy. I don't know.. it's the idea that she thinks of herself as a little girl that gets me. Anyway, Michelle deserved an angered, bitter post from me when she was kicked off the show by Probst and his overly biased commentary. She didn't get one because I was busy. So now, I would like to express the fact that I'm still pissed. I hate it when someone is kicked off for no good reason when it was obvious they would've lasted so much longer. Stupid twist.

Lastly, let's touch on Boo. Every episode, I put money on Boo hurting himself. Of course I'm always betting myself and I don't have much money to begin with, but still. Boo is ridiculous as well. He always almost kills himself. Then on top of that, he talks way too much. And he also has some really weird quirks that I can't explain, but find really funny. Anyway, it's funny that he's still there and hasn't injury retired yet. Also, would've loved if Jeff would've asked him if he felt safe at the last tribal. Jeff asked everyone else if they genuinely felt safe that night and everyone said they did except for Alex. I was really hoping Probst would ask Boo, who would get confused and say no. Anyway, my legs are sore and I'm tired. I'm out.

Catch Up: American Idol, Top Model, Amazing Race, Apprentice

2007-04-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

Funniest Moments of the Past Few Weeks of Reality:
Instead of recapping all the shows I missed or apologizing really, I'm just going to give my favorite highlights of each show.

American Idol:
The judges don't even critique Sanjaya anymore. He's on his own show, wears his hair however he feels like, and week after week, better singers are eliminated. Everybody's forgotten about how Scarnato edged out Sabrina Sloan because at least Haley tries to sing.

I also liked Gwen Stefani. Loved that she performed. Thought she was good at critiquing everybody.

And of course, LOVED that Sabrina Sloan was in the audience. They panned over her and then focused on Melinda's family, who she was sitting with. I noticed the hair and yelled, "Sabrina!" Yay. Glad to see her again. Love ya, Sabrina. Still voting for you every week. Except I'm not actually crazy, so no, but I do think about how much better she would've done than some of those fools every week.

America's Next Top Model:
Loved that they had to be men. Loved how ridiculous Natasha was. Loved how much Renee sucked at the laser challenge. Loved the mail order phone sex. Now that Diana is rightfully gone, this probably means Whitney's going to the end. If I had to predict a final three without analyzing the collage right now, I would say Jaslene, Renee, and Whitney. Apparently Brittany is good, but I don't like her. She reminds me of the girl whose face fell off. I don't like her face.

The Amazing Race:
Loved the Barbies' first place. Loved that teams were still completing a leg when other teams had started the next one. Hated the stupid intersection. Loved Eric's "Ladies and Gentlemen... Miss California" when Dustin suddenly puked sausage. Loved the excessive penis references from the extremely inappropriate but hilarious minds of Charla and Mirna.

But the quote that takes the cake.. I think it was two episodes ago. Dustin and Kandice are talking about being the first all-female team to win. And one of them says they just have to beat "Too Hot to Handle." And they laugh about how anybody could possibly compete with that. Anyway, that was hilarious. I think they realized when they were saying it that a portion of the audience would hate them for saying it and say they're awful people and picking on someone with a disability. But at the same time, they knew there was another portion of the audience who would love it. So they were trying to hold back and not seem completely awful but at the same time, directing their comments at their fans who would find it amazing.

I am one of those fans. I love those two and if you haven't read my recaps from last season, I believe I spent an entire recap talking about why people were stupid for hating them and why they're amazing. Yes, when I have favorites, I cannot stop complimenting them or defending them. I am pretty loyal in that sense. But it's not like I pick bad favorites. My favorites are always worthy of the praise.

And of course, D/K prove all of the points I've ever made and run a pretty efficient and successful race. I cannot state enough how much I like their demeanor and strategy on this race. They don't make friends, they don't make perminent alliances, they don't go out of the way to focus on other teams and try to sabotage them. They just run a good race. The only team who may be playing this better right now is ChaChaCha. Danny and Oswald have found a way to be nice and liked by all teams without helping or aligning really with any of them. I am proud of how they're playing. ChaChaCha and Barbies to the end. That would be beautiful. Too bad JV and Jill can't come back and be that third final team.

The Apprentice:
A lot has changed. After hearing in an interview with Derek that Heidi was not part of an alliance and everybody truly thought she was good, I have to apologize for how much i bashed her. She came from small-town Michigan. I'm from Michigan. I know the type. A little sheltered growing up, and then breaking free to pursue bigger and better things elsewhere where nobody can really help you and you have to tough it out and do it yourself. I think Heidi's learned how to be successful and whether it involves smug faces or not, I do give her credit.

Kristine has become hilarious to me. She's said some things that have been a little subtle, but really funny. When Muna said she couldn't "use the Lord's name in vain," Kristine said, "Well, God told me I could use his name in vain." And then she talked about what we viewers say all the time. God is not in the boardroom making the decisions. I'm pretty sure if God was around, he would be focusing his time and energy on starving children and bridging the educational gap. Not deciding who gets to work with The Donald.

Also, when Kristine told the cameraman it was none of his business what went on when her husband spent the night, I thought that was hilarious. First of all, aren't all the beds in one room? What did they do, sleep in the bathtub? Hahaha.

Lastly, I love that Tim was ripped apart at a boardroom he wasn't a part of. It's like the opposite of when Rob Mariano controlled a tribal council he wasn't even at. Tim looks like such a schmuck on the show. It's too bad because I think Tim's probably a lot of fun. There was just no way to win for him. Every situation was lose-lose.

Survivor Episode 7

2007-04-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

Last time on Drop 'Em:
The tribes were all mixed up. One tribe had all men and one tribe was significantly more awesome. Lisi got sent to Exile Island for like the entire episode because she sucks. The new Ravu Men tribe was mean to Anthony. The immunity challenge was called "Who Can Fit Through Small Spaces" and Moto won because Michelle and Yau-Man both weigh a buck fifty. Ravu sent Anthony home but not before Rocky humiliated himself and the rest of the human race by being awful to Anthony.

This week on Yau-Man Takes On The World:
Lisi comes back from Exile. She tells the guys that she lost her mind at the tribe switch and said some things she didn't mean. So she takes back what she said about wanting to go home but doesn't take back how awful she was to Dreamz and Cassandra. Which, since I didn't get to recap that episode.. how awful was that? It appeared very racist, whether or not that's where it actually stemmed from, and was just downright rude. Cassandra is a nice lady and Dreamz is actually growing on me. I think he's just loud, but actually a good-hearted guy.

On the better tribe's side, Yau-Man and Earl continue their scheming to find the idol. Earl takes everybody off to find the boat, which stupid old Moto tribe left in the middle of nowhere. Michelle makes this observation and asks them why they were stupid. Anyway, meanwhile, Yau-Man is digging like a fiend. He finds the HII and gets really excited, which is awesome. He covers his tracks nicely and doesn't look suspicious when everybody else comes back. He goes on a walk with Earl and tells him the news.

And here starts the first season where the HII is used cleverly to manipulate the game. We are introduced to the idea of sharing the idol. Yau-Man will hold onto it. If Earl is in danger, he will give it to him. Otherwise, if he himself is in danger, he'll just use it. This totally changes the idea of trust and loyalty in this game. It's great. Plus I like Earl and Yau. They both seem like good guys. Earl has really impressed me as one of the first strategic leaders who's been really reasonable and diplomatic. Yul was probably the first to really do this well, but he did not use the HII wisely. There were many steps he could have taken after threatening Jonathan with it that could have made for a really exciting show. Earl, I feel like, is really taking a risk. He's letting Yau hold onto something they both worked to get. I like it.

So the reward challenge is "Who Has Great Balls of Fire" and the answer the team of all guys and Lisi. They have to throw balls of fire onto targets. In a great series of shots, Mookie is making fun of Yau and then Yau hits a target. Let's just see who gets farther in this game, how about that, Mookie. I wish Yau and Earl would've found the other HII before they switched tribes. How awesome would that have been? Hahaha.

So Ravu wins a tribe to an arcade, which, what the hell? They send Earl to Exile and instead of being stupid and saying something about not needing any more clues, Earl just trucks off begrudgingly.

Ravu is flown to their arcade where they first eat hot dogs and cheese and brownies and beer. Everybody feels sick except for Rocky. Even though Rocky is the smart one here with not pushing his food intake too far, he goes and shows how little self-awareness he really has. He taunts everybody else and picks on them for eating too much. It's really annoying. And Lisi's also in this scene, which makes it even less entertaining. They play their little games and the guys all talk about how Lisi's like a guy. Blah. Blah.

Back at camp, Yau has made his own HII and buried it where he found the real on. He uses the original cloth and rope to repackage the fake idol, which is smart. This is great because it's what the viewers have been saying for the past few seasons. It's really funny how Yau tells us about it too. Too many immunity idols running around.

Immunity challenge.. This is one of my favorite episodes so far and one of the reasons is because I love the blindfold challenges. I would hate participating because I would get so dizzy. But it's amazing to watch. Anyway, they have to run out one at a time with a caller leading them toward a hanging skull. They have to bash the skull with their skull-bashing tool and then pick up the puzzle-pieces bundle that was inside. They have to take that to a table and then run back, all while they're still blindfolded. They can switch out callers at any time, but I'm assuming only if the new caller has already gone?

Michelle and Lisi start out as the callers and Michelle is once again good at this, while Lisi isn't as much. Michelle leads her team around smoothly until Boo doesn't know which way is left. We get to see Alex swinging really hard at a skull that is swinging back and forth. We get to see Boo swing really really hard at the air. We get to see Dreamz's magic skull-bashing moves.

And of course, we get to see Michelle fall off. Which is hilarious. I love Michelle and I think she's awesome, but how hilarious was this? She's the one that's not blindfolded and yet manages to fall off the platform she's standing on. She kind of laughs embarrassingly and climbs back up and then gets mad when Yau can't hear her and keeps going. She does this little kid things where she stomps her foot and yells, "Yau, Stop!" Haha. And then Boo takes over. Oh, did I mention Boo went back to the starting line by going backwards and smacking the railing behind him? Hahaha.

Moto is the first to take off their buffs and head to the puzzle table. Ravu is shortly behind, however. Somebody on Moto says it might be "Castaway" something. Then Stacey says, "Where's Michelle?" because apparently Michelle is the Jenny of this season. Then, Michelle, who wasn't even paying attention, is like, oh, it's time to activate my super powers. She turns around and looks at the puzzle and immediately says it's Cannibal. And of course she's right and they get Cannibal Isles soon after and win immunity.

I found that pretty funny. Probably mainly because I'm a huge Michelle fan and am sometimes amazed at how good she is at stuff. She was the one that caught them up in the first immunity challenge by being fast at untying the knots. In the second immunity, she was unwinding or winding something and did it really efficiently. She made fire. That alone is amazing. Anyway, I found the entire immunity challenge to be hilarious. Blindfolded people running around whacking at air. Michelle falls off the podium. Then the team appears to set up a puzzle while Michelle isn't paying attention, and then when she looks at it, she picks out the answer right away.

Anyway, Moto wins immunity again.

Back at the Ravu camp, at some point, Lisi tells some of the guys about the HII clues. And even though she's had more clues than Earl and Yau did when they figured out where the idol was buried a few episodes back, she seems to still be unclear. How much more clear do they have to make it? "Dig under the highest point of the opening of the cave. Use a shovel. Dig four feet into the ground. It is wrapped in cloth and is shaped like a turtle. Here, let me just give it to you." Stupid. Lisi and the HII compared to Yau and Earl is like Becky and Sundra making fire compared to Michelle. Yes, I am still amazed that a girl who could not stand up without falling over made fire with glasses. When two decently well-fed girls could not make fire with flint or matches.

So they've discovered that Rocky sucks. He's sexist, maybe a little racist, and has no self-awareness at all. He's annoying. They decide to get rid of him. Rocky, of course, thinks they're voting out the girl.

Rocky is voted out at tribal and it's beautiful. He's apparently the first member of the jury.

Next time on Survivor:
I don't know. A whole bunch of people search for the Ravu HII. Michelle is surprisingly really good at another challenge. I made that up, but it'll probably be true. Lisi gets voted off. Because Ravu sucks and Lisi is annoying. Who else would they get rid of?

America's Next Top Model Episode 4

2007-03-16T01:42:00.001-07:00

Last week on Why Can't I Be the Class Whore? Waaaah:
There were so many different titles I could have used. "Sarah Flashed Her Boy Boobies." "I Sucked? That Must Mean I'm Pretty." (Natasha speaking, of course) Okay, maybe there were only three choices. Anyway, last time the girls learned to walk. They did a high school prom fashion show. Sarah flashed her boy boobies at all the high school kids. Jaslene thought she was so fierce that she didn't have to listen to directions. Renee talked smack and then proceeded to piss and moan about not getting to be the class whore or class weirdo. Shut up, Renee. Samantha got sent home for being lame and sheltered.

This week on I Dedicate This Recap to Cassandra:
Okay, I am not trying to mock Jael at all. It's just that I just watched the episode and she said she was dedicating her photo to her friend that passed away. And to me, Cassandra has passed away.. from the show. It was as hard of an elimination as any other.. and I pissed and moan about it for a long time. Cassandra was gorgeous. Stupid Tyra.

We start out with makeovers! Yay! This is such the best part. Let's see.. Cassandra got a big fro, which I was iffy on. I would've liked her long and wavy. Felicia got bangs and a darker weave. Brittany got a red weave. Whitney got longer, fuller. Jaslene got shorter but fuller. Renee went short "like Yoanna" but not really. Diana went fuller? I don't know.. Oh, she went blonde. Jael went really long and then really short. Stupid Tyra. They made her sit there for eight hours getting the length put in and then took it all out and made her extremely short.. and darker. Nastasha went dark and I like it. Dionne went short and heavy in the front. Surprisingly, she looked amazing. Sarah went dark. Is that it? If I don't remember, then they don't matter.

So this was perhaps the greatest makeover episode ever. Tyra and Miss Jay both acted like over-dramatized versions of past seasons' girls who cried over their makeovers. We got to see Jaeda's open-mouthed sob again. I just wish they would've shown Monique getting her tracks out again since the reason she was crying was she didn't want to be on TV without her tracks in. A problem that could easily have been resolved by not drawing attention to herself by crying and freaking out. I think it would have been wonderful and cruel to show it yet again.

I think the emphasis they placed on how stupid the girls are when they bawl over their makeovers kept anybody from this cycle from really crying for no reason. Jael I can understand because it's almost torture to make someone get hair taken out right after it was put in. That sucks. And Brittany's just a whiner. Although she didn't seem to make a huge fuss until later.

So the theme of this episode was Brittany is a crybaby and Jael's really emotional over her friend's death. That's tough but I think Jael dealt with it well just like Kahlen from cycle 4 did. Apparently Brittany has become really annoying. She reminds me of Michelle "my skin is falling off" from cycle 4 in that I don't see the appeal of either and they're both annoying.

The challenge is CoverGirl Cosmetics. The girls have to make their faces look amazing in ten minutes or something, which is a lot of time, I feel. They do have to run around a garden for whatever reason. Cassandra gets disqualified for being like three seconds late. And I weep. Not actually, but I started getting the feeling this episode was building up to screw her in the end.

Brittany wins the challenge, for whatever reason. I don't know. I didn't think she looked any better than anyone else. She chooses Jael and Sarah to join her in her photoshoot for Seventeen. Which I will probably be buying when the issue comes out. Even though none of the girls featured are my favorites. Renee pisses and moans, I presume. I don't actually remember. Oh, but Brittany's reason for choosing Jael and Sarah was that they told her to stick with it and do the challenge even though she was sick. Renee, of course, told her to go lie down. Which showed the bitch in her, not the mom in her.

This is when Jael finds out her friend overdosed. It's hard to tell at first what's going on because she's a little incomprehensible to begin with. Anyway, the girls all console her. Meanwhile, there's a very minor spat between Renee and Brittany. Which I don't care about at all. Renee says Brittany is being fake, but pot, meet kettle. Every time someone is doing well, they become Renee's prime target and enemy. And apparently they can all win the little battles as long as she can win the war. Which, if you look at history, Renee, means you've lost a lot of soldiers and that makes it less likely for you to ultimately win the war. Can't win a war without winning a battle.

So the photoshoot is ice cream. The girls are posing nude but with a lot of paint and ice cream accessories. Sounds gross to have to clean up after but is a neat idea. Brittany is nervous about posing nude, but actually doesn't bitch and moan nearly as much as girls from the past.

Everybody seems to do decently. Cassandra is like Lluvy, another favorite of mine, from cycle 4. Geez, lots of cycle 4 references today. Like Lluvy, Cassandra is striking and gorgeous but doesn't have the posing quite down. Diana also sucks. And everybody else seems middle-of-the-road.

At panel, Tyra actually looks nice. She's surprising me this cycle. They complain that Jaslene isn't acting stereotypical enough. Tyra goes all hypocritical by saying she always "talks black" and then later reverts back to her normal talk. Ugh. Tyra hasn't yet been nearly as annoying as last cycle, but it started to show here. There are ways of telling Jaslene to not be as withdrawn in judging that don't involve telling her to act all stereotypical Hispanic.

Diana and Cassandra are bottom two and as soon as Jaslene is given her picture as the third worst, Whitney starts bawling. And when Cassandra is cut, we find that all of the girls loved her and she has a great heart. Which, yeah, you could totally tell. I'm glad she was so appreciated. Like Brooke from last cycle, when a girl leaves and the other girls are visibly shaken, it means something. Cassandra, hopefully you'll go far. She leaves us very graciously. I think she's great. Best of luck, Cassandra. You're stunning.

American Idol: Top 12

2007-03-15T02:30:00.001-07:00

Last time on That Time When America Screwed Sabrina Sloan:
Yes, I am still pissed about this. It seems lately that every contestant I like ends up being sent home too soon. John Vito and Jill went home way too early on The Amazing Race. Liliana went home too early on Survivor. Sabrina went home way too early. And then today, Cassandra gets kicked off of Top Model. Ahhh!

This week on Sabrina Sloan Would Not Have Forgotten Her Words:
So the truth is when I believe someone was unfairly screwed over, I often try to give them the "air time" that they lost out on. Which basically means I mention them nonstop. Like when JV and Jill lost, I was sore about it for probably a week. Like every time I thought about it, I would get so worked up.. and it was primarily their fault. With Sabrina, it was completely not her fault at all. In fact, since I never recapped that week, she sang one of my favorite songs. I have been listening to it a lot lately.

So this week was Diana Ross/Motown Week. Yay!!! I always love Motown Week on Idol and Diana Ross is one of my favorite people ever. She's hilarious, she's absolutely divine, she's a legend, and she seems like such a great person. I am so excited she was on this week.

Another truth: I haven't seen the result show yet. I know what happens, though. I just felt like I needed to get back on track and if I don't recap now, I may never get myself back on track. I still want to recap The Apprentice and Top Model. We'll see.

I want to go through the performances. I might not have a Paula moment to mention. Except for when she cried and Simon kept laughing at her. Oh, I also wanted to mention that I was disappointed nobody sang Where Did Our Love Go or Back in My Arms Again. Only because I love those songs. And you know what? Sabrina would have rocked this week. Ugh. Stupid America.

Brandon Rogers- You Can't Hurry Love: So when he totally forgot his words and couldn't even fake it, I started screaming, "OMG you forgot your words! Who forgets their words? You can't do that! Everybody knows the words to this song! Sabrina wouldn't have forgotten her words!" and hitting my laptop screen with the top of a shoe box. True story. So Brandon? You know all those times when Simon hinted that you needed to focus on the competition and stop assuming you're good enough to coast through? Well, you get it now? He pretty much ruined a great song.

Melinda Doolittle- Home: I wish she would have chosen a more fun song, but as Simon said, she made a boring song interesting. When she teared up at the end though, that really got me. Both girls who cried actually seemed extremely sincere. That's not including Paula. In her case, it would just be the crazy speaking. I just totally see where Melinda's coming from. She's never been in the spotlight. She's always been timid and afraid to stand out. And there she is, singing on this huge stage in front of so many people, and they all clapped for her. That's got to be overwhelming.

Chris Sligh- Endless Love: Chris Sligh was much better in the earlier stages. I think he's built himself into a box of someone who's a funny character with surprising vocals. Unfortunately, after all these weeks, we're not surprised every time we hear his voice anymore. We know what he sounds like. He needs to really pick it up and stop worrying about the small things. I feel like he's holding back because he's thinking too much.

Gina Glocksen- Love Child: This is a great song. I don't know how I would say Gina did. She's becoming less of an obnoxious contestant to me and is seeming more like the girl who knew America voted on hotness and tried to conform a little by wearing those nice dresses and singing typical Idol songs. So since last week, I've been seeing her as someone who's learning to be comfortable in her skin, and that's okay with me. She's definitely not my favorite, not my style, but I can respect her performances.

Sanjaya Malakar- Ain't No Mountain High Enough: What a classic, classic song to unfortunately have to be so extremely undersung. I don't hate Sanjaya because I haven't felt he's really ruined the chances of anybody great. AJ probably should not have gone the second week. Oh well. I guess I'm saying none of the guys are that excellent that I would be upset over Sanjaya staying instead of someone better. I think Sanjaya needs to thank his sister. If she wouldn't have tried out, made it to Hollywood, gotten cut in the final round, gotten consoled on film by Sanjaya, he wouldn't be here today. He showed in that one moment how sweet and selfless he is. So I don't mind people like Brandon getting voted off before Sanjaya. Whatever. Sanjaya is the new Kevin "Young Man" Covais.

Haley Scarnato- Missing You: Okay, so I am pissed that Haley is here instead of Sabrina. And I don't think Haley is a tenth of what Sabrina is as a singer. However, when she broke down, I have to admit I felt for her. What we saw was just complete frustration and disappointment, combined with all the stress and lack of sleep.. she was just overwhelmed. This is why I like Simon. I think he knew she needed something positive. And while he didn't say she was a good singer, he gave her hope, and wasn't trying to talk down to her. I hate every time Paula tells the girls they look gorgeous. Like, "At least you look great tonight. You look stunning. However, the vocals weren't there." That's just rude. So I actually thought it was nice to see how real some of these contestants are.

Phil Stacey- I'm Gonna Make You Love Me: I don't really like Phil. He doesn't necessarily annoy me with his personality, but there's just something there that makes me extremely indifferent about him. I didn't think he did a good job.

Lakisha Jones- God Bless the Child: This is a great song to sing. The beginning was a little weird for me. It didn't seem to flow into the rest of the song. But that's such a minute detail. She was great. And I do love that they showed her asking Diana Ross what to wear and how to have the mic set up. It not only shows she's thinking ahead, but I really shows how much she respects the legend herself. It's like she wanted to perform this in a way that Diana Ross found to be proper and acceptable. I don't know. I just saw it as a sign of respect and thought it was great.

Blake Lewis- You Keep Me Hanging On: Also a wonderful song. I didn't like how he executed the performance, but I don't think the arrangement was necessarily horrible. I think he just didn't sing through it enough. He could have performed it better. I do like that he did reggae last week, so I will stay on the bandwagon. He's a pleasant surprise from what I initially expected.

Stephanie Edwards- Love Hangover: I did not notice she forgot her words. I should watch it again and try to find it. As far as forgetting the words go, this week was unacceptable. I don't think any other season has had that many people forget their words during the final rounds, let alone on one night. Brandon's was the worst. Haley's I noticed, but she made a good effort at covering it up. Stephanie's I truly didn't notice. And I actually didn't think she did as bad as they said. I kinda liked it. It's behind us now, though, fortunately. I think I'm being a little protective over some of the others who could be screwed the same way as Sabrina was. Stephanie deserves to stick around. Unfortunately, she might get the Jennifer Hudson treatment from America.

Chris Richardson- The Boss: I'm sorry, I still don't completely get Chris Richardson. To me, he doesn't sing through his songs. He just isn't a typical singer I guess. I think it someone else sang like him, they'd get criticized about not holding their notes or having range. It just confuses me. He's very boy band-like to me. It's just not a style of singing I like, I guess.

Jordin Sparks- If We Hold On Together: She's a great surprise. Actually, after Chris performed, I kept asking myself who was left and I couldn't remember. This is more embarrassing for me than anything, and was just a stupid slip of the mind. It's just funny because Jordin comes out and totally delivers it. It's not like I don't remember who Jordin Sparks is.. I just forgot she was still yet to sing. But anyway, I loved what she did. It was beautiful. And she's very young. It's surprising.

All in all, I was not that disappointed when it came down to it. Brandon forgot the words to You Can't Hurry Love, a classic. Haley didn't do so well, but kinda touched the sentimental, empathetic bone in me. Jordin really impressed me. And everybody else was pretty much what I expected. And Sanjaya will always win the most ridiculous look category until he leaves. Ever since he wore that hat with a ponytail and looked like a sketchy middle-aged man, he's stolen the category. I give Jordin the best performance because she stepped it up big time. I give Brandon the worst performance because who forgets an entire line and just leaves it as a huge silent pause? Best Paula-ism was when she was crying after Melinda's performance. That's not really a Paula-ism, but her comments were all decently sane.

Who should be the bottom two next week: Sanjaya, Haley, and Phil should be the bottom three. Take your pick of who goes home.

America's Next Top Model Season 8 Episodes 1-3

2007-03-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

This season on The Return of Jaslene:
So I loved Jaslene during her audition last season because she was such a drag queen and pretty much just a ball of excitement and hilarity. Now she's back! Yay!

I have three hours of Top Model madness to cover here, so we need to just get some basics down first. As in who I like, who I don't like, and who I want to punch in the face.

Cassandra:

I really like her. I think she's stunning and hilarious, so there's my pick. That clip of her imitating Kathleen and Natasha is spot-on and awesome. I noticed in the third episode (second episode technically, but we count the first one as two separate episodes because of the distinct split between the two hours and the fact that they usually give it two separate episode titles) that she sometimes has really good moments and sometimes not-so-good moments. I think she'll really benefit from the makeover, what with her sewn-on wig and all. Yeah, I think she's really down-to-earth and funny. Hope she stays on for a long time.. and of course I hope she wins.

Jaslene:
I love Jaslene because she's really funny. She does that scarf around the head thing that CariDee did a couple times last season. I don't really care if she's really confident this season and knows that she's one of the best. I think like most of the girls, she's had confidence issues in her life and she's finally having people tell her how amazing she is and how gorgeous she is.. it must feel good and I'm fine with it.

Natasha:
She's pretty annoying, but at least she's not that great of a model and will probably leave soon. I do think it's great that they found a way to get a mail-order bride onto the show, though. I think she'll end up getting canned because she just doesn't get it. Kinda like Kathleen..

Sarah:
She's thinks she knows everything in the world. She's a bit of a Melrose. I don't know.. she doesn't seem like she'll have that much range. I can't wait to see if Tyra loves her or hates her because she does the same thing as Tyra all the time. You know, Tyra likes to starts talking about herself whenever she feels like it. They'll be talking about someone's confidence issues or something and then Tyra will say, "You know what? That's like how I went to Paris when I was seventeen and was discovered and became an amazing model." Like, thanks Tyra.. back to the point.

Renee:
So annoying. Shut up, Renee. Shut up. It's like she's Surya. Just shut up. Here's what I think: Renee is very uncomfortable with where she is in life. She's twenty, married, and has children. She's probably regretting losing her youth and having to be so responsible now instead of being able to party with other people her age. She always seems really scared and insecure and I think she finds it easy to talk smack at the camera or to other girls who are also insecure. So, Renee? Stop crying all the time. Just stop.

Eh, more later. I'm listening to a podcast and it makes it impossible to think and type coherently.

American Idol Episodes 11, 12, & 13 (Semis Week 1)

2007-03-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

(I started this like three weeks ago and felt I should just post it as it is)

This week on American Idol:
This is my first official Idol recap and I'm really excited. The format will be different from the other shows I recap, but hopefully it will work out.

This was the first week on semifinals where the girls and guys perform on different days and two of each are kicked off every week. They're on a small stage in front of a small crowd. And the best part.. we're not completely done cutting down the excess baggage that was carried from Hollywood Week. Which makes for a funny show.

I don't remember what most people sang, because I'm not good with that stuff. I do remember how I felt about each performance though. For this week, I'm going to try out one format where I separate the performances by topic. I'll try recapping by performance next time. Mostly because I don't want to recap 24 performances in a row. It'll end up with me saying a lot of useless things.

Difference in Talent:
As everybody noticed, four girls were absolutely miles above the rest of the competition. The girls in general had better performances, except for three or four debacles. On the guys' side, Blake surprised me and pulled out a great performance. Here we will discuss the best and worst performances.

Blake-
I was really questioning his place in this competition after the Narrow Elevator episode. It's easy to hide behind a specialty like beatboxing. He used it to his advantage, but left many people wondering if he was hiding behind it for a reason. This week, though, he did exactly what a smart person would do. He picked something different and unexpected and he sang it well. He showed us that he could do something totally different and he didn't need to beatbox his way through. And I love how he said "this is a singing competition." Everybody says it, but it's significant for him to say it because he sees that beatboxing could be a gimmick on this show. He wants to win because of his voice. That's great.

Chris Sligh and Phil Stacey-
I don't want to give them each their own category because I didn't feel they were particularly wonderful. I would say they were in the second tier, though. I don't know if Blake's vocals were that much better than either of these guys, but his performance and the fact that he did what he did puts him in a different league. Chris Sligh and Phil were good though.

Stephanie Edwards-
She started off the girls' show with a bang. I don't understand how she didn't break a foot or a heel even. That was skill. She has a great voice, too, but I'm afraid Melinda and Lakisha have been pimped out on the show much more and have great backstories.. and importantly, are better singers. I want Stephanie to make the Top 12, but I'm afraid some of her votes will be taken by other great singers.

Sabrina Sloan-
I told you she would develop into a favorite. I like her look, her style, her voice.. she was really good. I like the tone of her voice. I'm also afraid she'll be screwed by bigger personalities taking away from her votes. Kinda like what happened with Jennifer Hudson and Fantasia. But then again, now Jennifer Hudson is up for an Oscar and Fantasia has a Lifetime movie and is going on Broadway. Shows that talent wins out in the end. Unfortunately, this season, the four strong women also could end up with similar fanbases.

Melinda Doolittle-
She is a great performer. I love her. She's a great personality on this show. I also love that Simon adores her. It just goes to show that the only reason Simon is so harsh is because there are so many people coming on this show thinking the world of themselves when they're not as great as they think. Simon has always appreciated a humble person. I love how much he's backing her.

Lakisha Jones-
Yes, she was great. She's also pretty humble herself. I like this season's cast. The great ones are also great personalities. The bad ones are the annoying ones, so it's easy to make fun of them. I wouldn't say Lakisha was in a different league than everybody else. I think the three other ladies listed were in that ballpark, too.

Paula Moment of the Week:
That would be when Ryan asks the judges what Sundance should have done differently and Paula responds by rubbing her chest as if that's a valid answer or something a sane person would do. Hahaha.

Let's Salute Sabrina Sloan

2007-03-09T01:55:00.001-08:00

I intercepted an email today.. this is what it read:

Dear Sabrina Sloan,

We regret to inform you that although you have one of the best voices on the show, we're going to have to let you go. Our reasons are unjustifiable and irrational. We enjoyed having you on the show for the past three weeks, you know, with all of your wonderful performances, unbelievable talent, and great stage presence. Unfortunately, we felt that being one of the best singers was not good enough. Good luck with your career, now that we've kept you from being exposed to more people and getting a chance to perform on a finals stage. We decided that since you're so good, you should have to work harder to get signed.

Love, The American Public

Okay, you get it. I'm pissed. This is completely unacceptable. Sabrina had one of the best voices on the show and I would have put her in the top 3 based on talent and her previous performances. You know what? Jennifer Hudson was screwed by America (not by Simon, Antonella.. idiot) and look where she is now. It'll take work, but Sabrina is great. I hope she finds her way through and we hear from her soon. Sabrina, we won't forget.. well, I definitely won't forget. Every heinous crime like this that is committed makes me want to go knock some sense into some people.

See, this is how pissed I am. This is probably one of the least coherent posts I've ever had. I will be free on Saturday to catch up on recaps, but for now, I'm just going to do my work and piss and moan to anybody that wants to hear, or can't get away from me fast enough. I don't think I can recall a more horribly wrong elimination from any reality show before. This is heinous.

Sabrina, you were wonderful. We supported you and we support you still. I do kinda sound like I'm her mother or something. Regardless, this was completely wrong and unwarranted. Good luck, Sabrina. We'll miss you on the show.

Royally Screwed

2007-03-06T02:53:00.001-08:00

Last time on When I Wasn't Screwed:
I know I am way behind on recaps. At least I acknowledge that. For whatever reason, I am still oblivious of the fact that this week sucks and I need to do my work. Finals are creeping up in that skeevy way they do every quarter and spring fever is setting in way too early. Spring Fever- def: When the spring weather makes it impossible for me to do anything productive ever, yet I hardly spend any time outside either.

So I have to go to sleep like two hours ago. I'm writing my entire paper tomorrow, and that's the definite plan. Recaps will have to come when they can. Just to keep track and make myself feel bad, this is how behind I am:

- American Idol: First two weeks of semifinal action. I started the recap for the first week, but it got boring, so I never finished.
- The Amazing Race: Episodes 2 and 3.
- The Apprentice: Episode 7. I haven't seen it yet, though.
- Survivor: Episodes 3 and 4.
- America's Next Top Model: Episode 1.

Before I go to sleep under my bed, in my cave (I've been really strange lately), I just need to get out some of my feelings about the Top Model premiere.

This season is looking like it will be an awesome one. Both Renee and Natasha are really annoying but also funny and easy to make fun of. There are two plus-size models because of Tyra's recent tirade, yet Tyra's slimmed down since last season. It looks like she's listened to viewers and has gone with straighter, longer hair and nixed the tight shirts cinched right under the boobs.

Kathleen was hilarious, but unfortunately is now gone. I also really liked Melissa, who was cut out of the final 13. I swear I have seen that girl somewhere before. It's killing me trying to figure out where.

Jaslene is back! And looking fierce as ever. I love her.

Cassandra is gorgeous and is probably one of very few ever that I've had to say that every time she comes on the screen. Okay, she looked ridiculous in the interview segment with the yellow and the blue and the red circus parade. It's hilarious that she sewed a wig in. However, she is stunning. Imagine what she's going to look like after the makeover. She's got to be my favorite. Surprising how little time it took to establish that.

American Idol: Update on The Antonella Barba Show

2007-02-25T17:32:00.001-08:00

Some of you may have heard of the toilet and topless pictures that have been floating around of Antonella Barba of The Antonella Show on American Idol. Looks like this might end badly for her, though. A whole slew of nasty pictures have surfaced recently, including some that give her the nickname Antonella "Blowjob" Barba. I'm not going to link the stories here, but it's probably really easy to google them.

With Frenchie getting axed in Season 2 for scandalous pictures, this is quite promising for those out there who want The Antonella Barba Show to end. If she does get kicked off, does it mean only one girl goes home this week? Does it mean Amy Crabs or Nicole the Spaz get to come back for another try? Does it mean they bring back someone that was cut in the Narrow Elevator episode? Someone named Tatiana McConnico? I can only hope. That seems unlikely. But for all it's worth, Tatiana would have made much better use of an opportunity like this.

If you're planning on trying out for Idol and you know there are pictures of you floating around, you might want to reconsider if you don't want them seen by the American public. Or maybe you don't want to get photographed like that in the first place.

Antonella, you took the spot that so many girls wanted. They would have sang their hearts out and come up clean on the background scan. There wouldn't be nasty pictures of them floating around. Tatiana McConnico. Tami Gosnell. Marisa Rhodes. They thank you for taking their spot on the show and then throwing it away. I hope you get kicked off. And really, I hope they give some previously cut girls a chance to get back on the show. That could be an interesting twist. It probably won't happen, which is sad.

The Apprentice Episode 6

2007-02-25T01:50:00.000-08:00

Last week on The Honey Whore and The Alliance:
We were not shown footage of Jenn getting honey squirted in her mouth. Surya and Derek went all Rob and Amber on us and asked Aimee to be their Lex and save Surya in the boardroom. Aaron got screwed over by the alliance and Surya got really really pissed off.

This week on Apprentice Goes Bachelor and Lex Gets Screwed:
So here are my overarching themes in Apprentice so far: (1) Trump is stealing ideas from other shows. He's already done Project Runway, Top Model, Top Chef, and Survivor. This week, Tim and Nicole get a little frisky. (2) Kinetic is playing a game. Much like when Rob saved Ambuh in Survivor All-Stars by using Lex and then throwing him away, Derek saved Surya by using Aimee and then turned on her later. (3) On the Kinetic side, it's Heidi's show. Heidi is running the game. It makes her both brilliant and really annoying. I don't like that she's the big alliance leader and whomever she is intimidated by gets the ax. (4) Stefani's glasses only appear every other episode.

Okay, this sucks. I like to write my recaps in the order that the shows were shown. So unfortunately, I had to get through Survivor and The Amazing Race to get to this recap. Those two shows are still in their early stages and are really hard to recap. The Apprentice, however, is my favorite to recap and I probably would have done a better job had I done it after I watched the show. Oh well.

Remember how mad Surya was at the end of last episode? Well, he's definitely fired up as he and Nicole head back into Trump Trailer Park. He says he basically needs to be PM for this task. That's apparently what he wanted to tell Trump when he made the rookie mistake of trying to say something after a firing. He goes on and on about how Aaron lied and that's just not cool. He's either about to burst into tears or about to throw a chair at a wall.

So according to interviews that Aaron has done, Surya is exactly this crazy in person. Aaron said that just because he didn't assign roles like Kinetic does, doesn't mean that he didn't expect Surya to step up in marketing. Anyway, who cares about all this. Surya's little tantrum is annoying and boring. Moving on.

This week's task is getting people to sign up for Priceline.com something or other. Another lame task. Where the hell is Ivanka?! You take Carolyn and her hilarity away and now Ivanka is missing for, what, three weeks now? The Priceline people whose names Trump doesn't know are going to be his eyes and ears. What lame eyes and ears.

The teams brainstorm and we are shown very predictable footage. On one hand, Kinetic is assigning roles. Surprise. And a lot of the team are not happy with their assigned roles. No, Kristine, because you're not assigned an afternoon role doesn't mean you should go home and take a nap. Can't they just try to work as a cohesive unit? You can't predict issues that will arise. Why should you micromanage so that it becomes hard to deal with problems later? And why have you all decided already that Aimee is leaving? Kinetic pisses me off.

On the other hand, Arrow is sitting in a conference room where Surya wants Frankie Suits to right a five-sentence paragraph in his composition notebook about how he's going to go about doing this task. Frankie Suits is the type of guy who shouts out ideas and works them out by talking through them. Surya cannot call himself a good leader if he cannot adapt to work with all sorts of work styles. Frankie passes around a picture he drew of Surya on a napkin which is a pretty good caricature of him. Everybody is laughing while Surya is still dead serious about this paragraph thing. And before all this, Tim is the one who brings up the good idea of auctioning off travel packages. Kinetic is also doing this, but every half hour instead, and rather than auctioning packages, they're giving away $1000 towards a trip, which is much less appealing for people to hear.

At some point, on Kinetic, we get to see the Octopus fight, which probably was nothing during the task and was blown way out of proportion to make Aimee look crazy. Worked. They also like to film Aimee when she's thinking and not aware she's on camera. They often get her in her thoughtful phase and she looks a little out of it. An easy way to make her look like she's not a strong leader. As you see, I am generally supportive of all the contestants except for two in particular. I am very wary of the editing, however. I don't doubt at all that Aimee was just as good of a leader as Heidi, except she probably had a much different, less annoying style of leading.

Anyway, what's going on? I think at this point is when Jenn and Derek go on their meeting with the mall manager or whatever she's called. The lady points out that about half of their customers are Hispanic. I understand that some people might not get this, depending on where they're from, but if you're familiar with the area, you know that if a high percentage of the people around look Hispanic, there's a good chance that many of the adults do not speak English fluently. It was not a racist comment that Jenn made in the boardroom. It's just that she knows this and wasn't aware that Aimee wouldn't also know. Aimee is from the Chicago area, so it's understandable that she isn't as familiar with the area.

I would also like to make fun of Jenn for going to ASU. No doubt she got a great education and is great at what she does. I don't want to make fun of ASU's academics. I want to point out that if I was told one of the contestants went to ASU, I would have put money on Jenn being the one. She's got a little bit of the ASU tint. I just don't like ASU gymnastics that much. Not a big deal. I like Jenn. I think she's really funny.

Anyway, so at Arrow mall, Frankie Suits is being a great salesperson and is actually physically bringing people to their kiosks. He's great at this. I know I was harsh on Suits in the first recap, but he's really done a 180. He was just too excited the first time around. So all of the Arrow kids are working it. And where is Surya? He's walking around with all of his notes.. I have no idea what he's doing. He's obviously not a good salesperson. What he doesn't realize and what Heidi definitely doesn't realize is they're difficult to relate to. They present themselves as important and have a hard time transitioning from talking professionally and talking to average people. And they take themselves way too seriously.

Heidi and Kristine (I think) are over at Kinetic mall walking around doing a poor job in pulling people in. Heidi definitely thinks she's above all the people in the mall. She looks down on the ones who don't understand her because she thinks any reasonable person can speak English and understand what she's saying. She thinks she now needs to simplify what she's saying and it irritates her. She doesn't like to be the one making compromises and adapting. Tell me I have this read right. I know the Heidi type. And while it's easy to edit people's actions and often their words, it's really difficult to put a facial expression onto a person's face. Or to give someone a different demeanor. Heidi annoys me.

So it comes down to Arrow doing a great job drawing people in with their big personalities. Kinetic relies on Derek and Muna, who speak Spanish, to translate for those who don't understand.

In the boardroom, it's Donny Jr. that joins Trump. Boo. I want Ivanka. First, Trump asks for standouts in the task from his eyes and ears whose names he does not know. Suits is named for Arrow and Derek (I think) for Kinetic. I hope they also mentioned how Surya wasn't around. Because for whatever reason, Trump thinks Surya is the reason this team wins. It's true they blame Surya when they lose and don't say anything about him when they win. Because they're not stupid. Why would you speak up if you won?

Anyway, Arrow wins, which is great. They get private surfing lessons from two pro surfers. At reward, everybody suits up and everybody except Stefani goes into the water. They're all having fun until Nicole gets hurt when a huge wave comes in. She thinks she's twisted or broken her foot and they wrap it up while it still has sand all over it. Then she gets into the van and Tim goes with her. Big surprise. When they get to the doctor's, he tells her she's been stung by a jellyfish. She's a little embarrassed and asks if most people would have continued surfing. The doctor says most people from the area probably would.

When they go back to the mansion, we get the big makeout scene. It was kinda awkward how the entire thing was filmed and the cameraman was just standing there. And Tim's holding Nicole's head at a weird angle and I'm sure it would have been better if it wasn't filmed and then broadcast all over the country. But hey, they signed up for this show and I'm not at all saying anybody did anything wrong here. Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

In the boardroom, the main topic is the language barrier. Everybody blames Aimee and Aimee blames Jenn. For some reason, Derek is invincible. In two cases now, he's been at the source of the disaster in a task and his name hasn't even come up. He was with Marisa during the El Pollo Loco task and she was considered a disaster (wrongfully, though). He was with Jenn at the meeting, but not telling Aimee about the language issue seemed to end up being blamed on Jenn.

Aimee brings Jenn and Derek back into the boardroom. This is where Surya does not blindly defend Aimee like she did for him the past week. Lex anyone? Neither Rob nor Amber tried to save her (Aimee). They throw her under the bus. Aimee fights hard, though, and really gets on Jenn's case about the language barrier. I see the entire issue as a misunderstanding. Aimee did not understand by looking around that there would be the problem. Jenn did not see how it wasn't obvious and probably didn't think twice about not mentioning it to Aimee. In fact, that probably didn't even come to her mind. They made it seem as if she made a conscious decision to not give Aimee that information. I don't think so.

Anyway, Aimee is fired like I predicted (kinda) last recap. As Aimee gets into the car to leave, and as the car is pulling away, she is staring daggers at Jenn and Derek. It's all kinda funny because you know they looked back at that and laughed when it aired.

Next time on The Apprentice:
Apparently, somebody says two words that cause The Donald to do the first double firing of this season. I really hope it's on the Kinetic side. Although saying something stupid sounds like an Arrow mistake, what with all their talking and stuff. I do see Jenn leaving soon because I don't think Heidi has any need for her. Maybe hopefully Heidi will get overthrown soon. I'm sick of the Heidi show.

The Amazing Race 11 Episode 1

2007-02-24T02:17:00.000-08:00

This week on The Worst Ending Ever:
We're back! Ten of the most memorable teams to ever run The Amazing Race are back. There's also this pretend team running around like they deserve to be there.

Let's start off by saying I'm really pissed. I've calmed down since the show aired a week ago, but I'm still pretty pissed. CBS made a plane come back to the gate. How could they have not stolen Eric and Danielle's car engine or something?

As far as the teams go, nobody really did anything unexpected or out of character. Unfortunately, true to character, John Vito and Jill had trouble with directions. Eric and Danielle were annoying. Ian said "Hoorah" like five times. Rob and Amber ran a great leg. Mirna talked in her own dialect, which I call The Mirna, or Mirnian. It's weird how the spell check on this campus computer knows the word "Mirna." I guess it's a real language.

So yeah, nothing was particularly out of character. Except I love how the teams all know each other and some are fans of each other. Danny and Oswald wanted to take care of Charla and Mirna, which is nice. Rob actually stopped the shuttle for Danny and Oswald who led them to the airport. That might have been a little surprising although I've always thought Rob was a decent guy. Just look at how he treats Amber. She's like his princess. I've always thought it was sweet when a tough guy like Rob treats his girl really well. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at her. He adores her. You don't see that very often anymore these days. So it's nice.

The first challenge of the race is figuring out that American will arrive first even though it departs later. I'm surprised that so many of the leading teams figured this out almost intuitively.
This leg was basically a blur with a bunch of running teams and no real tough tasks. I won't go through all the minor details because I'm lazy and it would just piss me off. Basically, at some point, John Vito and Jill get really really lost. Drew manages to trip on nothing and twist is leg or something. The two of them are really annoying for this leg and actually get a flat tire which they disregard and continue driving. Actually, Drew is so out of shape, Charla beats him in the initial foot race. Charla's really pleased about it. And she should be.

Rob and Amber run a really clean race. My friend thinks Amber's had some work done on her face, but watching the show, I don't really see it. Teri, on the other hand.. her eyebrows are in a suspicious location relative to the rest of her face. She mentions at one point that "Mirna and Shmirna" are coming and wonders if they have a show nickname. I'm pretty sure it was the Asshat and his wife back in their season. I don't know, I don't mind them that much.

We find out in the episode that John Vito and Jill are open to reconnecting. Which is great news because like any other JV and Jill fan, I want them to live happily ever after and have gorgeous babies. Speaking of babies.. apparently Uchenna and Joyce's marriage is one the rocks again. Not that they seemed to have any problems in their previous season when they said they were having problems. They still haven't had the baby and I think it's really time for adoption. Joyce is 48, I believe, and why they're not getting pregnant could be affected by her age. Starting at 25, women's egg supply begins to decrease. I read it in Time Magazine like three years ago.

We find out that Eric and Danielle have a perhaps not so 50-50 relationship. He says he's the boss and she repeats to us that he's the boss. Although I guess if I were in a relationship with someone like Danielle, I would want to be the boss, too, in fear that she may lead us to the North Pole.

Mary and David, America's favorites from last season, are back on the show to act as the crazy fans that run around asking for autographs. They mention that they're fans of a lot of the teams, which is nice, because it means they've really been watching the show. David is so excited to meet Rob and Amber that he calls them Rob and Kim, which is a huge diss. He apologizes and it's kinda funny because he's like a little kid meeting Michael Jordan or something.

Mary and David, on the other hand, are not pleased to see Dustin and Kandace, two of the greatest female racers of the show. I am very happy, though. The Barbies run a clean first leg, nothing spectacular but no real mistakes.

I want to give a shoutout to Kris and Jon and Colin and Christie. Wish you all were on the race. Rob and Amber are in a different league than most of the other teams. If CBS was looking for a good match-up, they would have given Rob and Amber some competition besides Dustin and Kandace.

Charla and Mirna, by the way, were completely predictable in this leg. They found their own local tour guide, which they were always great at doing. Mirna talked in her own language the whole leg. They both really just wanted other racers to like them, and were pleased when Danny and Oswald helped them out.

Guidos were pretty tame this week. They made a crack about how they're just two gay grandpas on this race and nobody should be that afraid of them. They also joked about Rob and Amber having their own television network. I'm most surprised that the Guido dog is still alive. It has been quite a few years since their season. Glad to see their mascot is still around.

Did I miss anyone? Well, if I did, they just weren't memorable. Next week's recap will be a better attempt at covering what actually happened. Unless my next favorite team gets the ax, I'll be in a much better mood about the episode.

Survivor 14 Episodes 2 & 3

2007-02-24T01:42:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago on An Ethnic Adventure:
Sylvia micromanaged the building of a shelter that she ended up not being able to live in. Hahaha. Moto won immunity and thus got to live in luxury forever. Ravu got a pot. Jessica was voted off.

Last week on The Story of the Saddest Tribe Ever:
This season hasn't been that exciting yet. I'm sure it will soon, but it's still early. I'm not quite sure I remember everything that happened in this episode, but we'll highlight the important parts.

Moto is living it up and Ravu is dying. Great. The twist for this season really makes things fair, doesn't it. At least on The Apprentice, living in tents doesn't mean you'll end up dying. I mean, they all clean up well because I can never tell they're living outdoors.

So at some point, Ravu is so thirsty that they're licking leaves. That's just sad. Anyway, Sylvia shows up and starts suggesting they do a lot of things. This is how I see it. I don't particularly like Sylvia, but I don't really dislike her either. She just seems like a typical Asian mama. I don't know, I guess it's something I'm used to. When I'm at home, I hear "You should do this" a lot. It's not trying to be rude or obnoxious, it's just the cultural divide and the difference in how things are phrased in the two cultures. It's much harder to unlearn than you would think.

Anyway, let's see.. on the Moto side, Lissi does this weird animated voice. She's the eccentric one, I'm sure. I don't know how I feel about most of Moto at this point. Except I like Lilianna. For whatever reason. It's not like she's said five words on the show yet.

We see Boo whacking at some wood with an ax or something and even if the previews didn't hint at it, it's pretty obvious he's going to hack off a finger or two. Yup. He cuts his hand and goes and gets it bandaged and lies down. Somebody makes a crack about how useless he is with his one hand, one leg, and one eye. Oh, right. He got something in his eye that makes him look kinda comical. Then he goes and lies in the hammock and the hammock breaks and he falls onto the wood floor.

At some point, Ravu searches for fruit only to realize they had a bunch of pineapples growing in basically their backyard.

So challenge. Their challenge was to paddle through a course attaching bags to this spool of rope attached to the boat. It's Michelle and Stacy spooling. And I'll say it now. I like Michelle. She might be tiny, but she's done a pretty respectable job so far. Last week, she untied those puzzle pieces really fast. This time, she did a good job with the spool thing. Better than Stacy at least, who got it caught a few times.

Once again, Ravu is ahead going into the final part of the challenge. They have to assemble this pole and then raise it to win immunity. At some point, Ravu is being stupid and Moto catches up. Erica is screaming and screaming about which pole should go next and it disturbs the flow of the tribe a little. Basically, Moto overtakes the lead and wins immunity. They get fishing gear. Ravu gets a big dose of sad. Earl gets sent to Exile and will return next episode.

Back at camp, a lot of people are ticked off that Erica flipped out. Particularly Mookie and Rocky, Erica's ally from last episode. Sylvia is pissed that Erica had to scream instead of just working through it methodically with the other team. Some people think she had no place to say that and was just being annoying, but I can kinda understand. If Muna (Apprentice) was there, I'm sure she would have been ticked off too. Sylvia strikes me as similar to Muna in that they both see the bigger picture on all things, are sensible and practical, and don't understand when other people aren't. But I like Muna so much more than Sylvia.

So it's pretty much a consensus that Erica gets the boot and Sylvia gets spared. Great. That's what happens. To me, it seemed like they took Erica's behavior a little out of perspective. Erica would have probably been a better physical competitor for the following week. Saving Sylvia for a week just to kick off someone who was a little over-the-top doesn't seem like good strategy. I don't know, it doesn't really matter.

Erica is voted off.

This week on Let's All Laugh About Papa Smurf Until He Tells Us He's Dying:
The Subtitle of this episode should have been "What the hell, Rita?" Regarding her vote.

So I just watched this episode and I felt like if I didn't recap it right away, I might forget again. We see Earl returning from Exile. The tribe tries to ask him about the Idol clue. He doesn't tell them that Amy Krebs was voted off. Instead, he just kinda mumbles something. Yeah, I know, weak reference.

Michelle goes on to prove that while she might not be able to stand up anymore, she is still superwoman. Not only has she been a great competitor for Ravu thus far, but she decides she will go and make fire with glasses. First she asks the sun to come out and play and anybody watching was probably thinking there's no way she's going to make fire. Well, it happens. She's persistent and eventually a little fire is started and she hands it off to Anthony who, with the help of others, is able to nurse the fire to full flame. This is kinda amazing. Michelle's own special way of sticking it to Sundra and Becky who needed an hour with matches to get something going.

At the first reward challenge of the season, Ravu announces that Michelle made fire and Michelle looks really proud. Jeff tells her that it's a rare occurrence on Survivor to make fire out of scratch. In his head, he was laughing at Sundra and Becky.. you know it. He gives them flint since they were able to get fire on their own.

This challenge involves sliding down a muddle, slippery lane to retrieve a ball with a particular number and then make a basket. First person per round to do so gets a point and six points wins them a choice of three rewards. The first is their luxuries from home. Which nobody wants. You can just tell. The second is an identical set of fishing gear that Moto won last time. The third is a fruit basket. Which is really random. Both teams seem to have a good amount of fruit around camp.

Anyway, we start off by watching Gary take two huge falls, which look painful. And his tribe laughs. At some point, Sylvia makes the saddest attempt at moving down the slippery lane. She does an exact imitation of "swim frightfully" that Michelle did on Top Model. I'll get the clip up here soon if I can. I'm telling you.. imagine Tyra standing there watching this saying to Sylvia, "Okay, girl, you get 'swim frighteneneningly'."

Yao-man is last up against Dreamz and when Jeff announces this, stupid Lissi who isn't even competing laughs at the pair-up. Both of them suck at throwing the ball, so shut up, Lissi. Anyway, eventually, Moto wins reward. And they choose the fishing gear, which is probably smart. I was sure they'd be stupid and pick the fruit.

Moto gets to send someone to Exile and it's Sylvia again. Surprise. Except she gets to come back before immunity so she can get voted off later.

When Moto gets back to camp, they're sitting around laughing about Gary's big fall at the challenge. Until they realize that Papa Smurf is in a great deal of pain and might have broken a rib or two. The medics come and basically say it's nothing and say to let them know if it gets worse. So, my own personal experience lately with doctors has me doubtful about the medic's nonchalance about it all. I find that when it's not openly obvious that you have a particular ailment, the doctors I've come across at least, tell you it's probably nothing and then give you some basic drug that doesn't work. At least that's my case right now.

Cassandra seems the most affected and is really sad in a confessional. I hope Gary is okay. Him saying he didn't know where he was or what his name was really alarmed me and I'm surprised nobody thought it was important.

Next is immunity. Their challenge is an eating contest. It's back. They do this weird rotation where the teams pair a girl against the other team's guy and vice versa all throughout the competition. Not that significant, except you have to think it's tougher for Michelle to get the food down compared to a big guy.

Ravu is ahead at one point, but true to form, they eventually fall behind and the nail in the coffin comes when Anthony chews his pig snout like he's got all day. Moto wins immunity.

Back at camp, Mookie and Rocky are pissed. They don't like that Anthony was whining so much. So they've devised a plan to vote out Sylvia but throw votes at Anthony in case Sylvia whips out the idol. They tell Sylvia they're voting out Anthony, which basically defeats the purpose of throwing votes for Anthony if Sylvia's going to be voting for him now anyway. If she had the idol, Anthony would be going home and they wouldn't even need the rest of the tribe's throwaway votes. So basically, I'm sensing that part of the tribe actually just wants Anthony gone. Stupid rationalization. Who decided to listen to Rocky and Mookie anyway?

So at tribal council, Mookie comes out and says he was really pissed at Anthony's performance. Stupid. He thinks he runs this tribe right now and really needs to get his ass handed to him sometime. It comes down to what could have been a 4-4 tie if Rita had not randomly voted for Earl. She mentions that she doesn't want to go with the tribe on either vote choice this week and why she chose Earl is beyond me. I wonder what it would've been like had it come down to a tiebreaker. Maybe Rita doesn't like Earl because he writes too small. Every week, he's written his vote under a microscope and then tried to pass it off as legit.

Sylvia is voted off. 4-3-1.

Next week on Get Him Some Real Medical Help, Please:
Gary still isn't feeling well and I want him to bow out and go to a real hospital somewhere. On the Ravu side, Rocky is yelling at Anthony. Sounds fun.

American Idol: Hollywood Week

2007-02-18T03:21:00.001-08:00

This week on Apparently a Lot of People Know How to Love a Woman:
I think the viewing public has reached a consensus on the fact that Hollywood Week was way too short. I want to get to know some contestants. I want to know who the people are in the quick flashbacks. I want to hear more than three people sing. I want to have an opinion on people besides the ones that producers want in the finals. And most importantly, I don't want what happened to Allison on SYTYCD to happen ever again.

Let's talk about that. I was not an Allison fan during the past season of So You Think You Can Dance. Not because she wasn't the best dancer on the show. Actually, it was precisely because she was the best. The producers showered her with compliments all the time. They predicted her as the winner really early on. As the weeks went by, to me, she seemed increasingly cocky and above everyone else. It's a good thing I watched the routines after the show was over. It's a good thing I was so obsessed. Had I not been, I may have never realized what had happened while the show was airing.

People cheer for the underdog. For the Ivans out there. I love Ivan. But just as Ryan boosted Heidi to the finale with his insulting comments on the first pairing day, Ivan probably held Allison back with his amazing story. Not that it's any of his fault. It's just how things play out. And with the judges constantly telling Allison she was the best dancer ever, it became annoying for me after awhile. As we know with past Idol experiences, constant ratting on contestants often wins them extra votes. Similarly, sometimes when judges compliment a contestant, it's detrimental to their progression in the competition. Allison did nothing to suggest that she wasn't exactly what the judges were complimenting her on. It was the character that they inadvertently prescribed to her. It's unfortunate, but only now do I realize that she was the best dancer, was wrongfully denied a spot in the finale, and should have won the show.

Anyway, I'm afraid that by pushing certain people in our faces, the Idol producers are actually going to cause America to vote the mediocre through to the finals. Then there's always the problem with not showing certain people and not allowing the viewers to built a connection with those contestants. Basically, I just wish there could be equal time spent on each contestant. Or is it even too difficult to ask for some time spent on each contestant?

Here's my rendition of Episode 9, the basic Hollywood round that is usually cut down to two days. And by cut down, I mean even when it was a two-day show, it was short. Now they've given it just one day.

We see some people we met in auditions either get shot down or get through. For some reason, Jorey, the girl who hung out with the Queen of England, gets cut right off the bat, but Perla, the Shakira impersonator, gets another chance. We see the army girl with her husband at war get cut. We see a lot of whining and crying and some excitement. This, by the way, is the girls section. There was an actual attempt at covering it. There are a lot of short snippets featuring Amanda and Antonella.. apparently this week is the Amanda and Antonella week. I need to discuss Antonella later.

I don't even remember what we see. A lot of clips of people getting cut. Some girl's sob story about wanting to please her mom and singing a virtually unknown song. Anyway, it's not until the end of the girls' segment that I find out that two of my audition favorites, Melinda Doolittle and Tatiana McConnico, have made it through. Which I figured since I usually have decent picks. We see Melinda celebrating, but if not for my sharp eye, I could have missed the two seconds they showed of Tatiana on stage being the only one moved through in her group of six. Thank you for deciding for us who our favorites should be, producers. I refuse to listen.. Tatiana is good. We'll talk about that later. I see this being a long recap. Maybe it'll make up for the short week we were given.

Anyway, next we see about three minutes of guys singing. What did they even show? Another military person getting cut. Ugh. This was the saddest recap I've ever seen. They did not even really scan through who made it through.

We get a bit of group drama. Amanda and Antonella have decided to be in the same group. And they've strung on Bailey.. or Baylie, or however it's spelled. She's along for the ride. Some girl can't find a group and is sad until a really sweet guy asks her to join. The boy whose mother doesn't love him enough or whatever is having a hard time finding a group.

Anyway, it is the Amanda and Antonella show, let it be known. We get some Glockson drama tossed in there, too. So Amanda and Antonella are bickering about song choice. It seems like probably just the type of routine they go through where in the end they're fine, but they really just need to yabber at each other. Of course Baylie (I think that's how it's spelled) has not idea how the Amanda and Antonella show works, so she's stressed that their group will fall apart.

They choose a song that neither Amanda nor Antonella knows very well and start practicing. At some point, Amanda gets frustrated and leaves to go flirt with the only group of guys she can find that don't tell her to go away. They were probably too nice. So the other two head off to bed. Then, sometime between that scene and the scene of them practicing the next morning, Amanda and Antonella both do learn their words. So I think they did work harder than the footage suggested. Because in the morning, it's Baylie who is struggling with the words.

Their performance is decent except for the part where Baylie just stands there until Amanda helps her out. Which is actually really nice of her. I think Amanda is aggressive and likes to be the HBIC, but when it boils down to it, is actually a nice girl. This will be mentioned later as well. Anyway, when Baylie is cut, she totally disses the other two and Amanda is rightfully pissed that she got dissed after helping the girl out.

So cut to the Gina Glocksen and Co. drama. It's Perla. They decided to be the Salvation Army and took Perla into their group. Along with Gina and Perla, there are two other girls, one of which is the Marisa girl who cannot stop crying in the next episode. Basically, they've realized quickly what we all knew for awhile now.. Perla cannot really sing. She's been getting through on the fact that she's a spicy Colombian who is dragalicious (def: acts like a drag queen, not meaning she looks like one.. just to be clear).

So in short, Perla is cut and the other three make it through. Surprise.

Chris Sligh and Rudy Cardenas and Blake the beatboxer and some Thomas dude have a great performance that gets a Paula ovation (def: similar to a standing ovation, but without the sanity of a normal person doing the clapping). It is good, but a little boy band-ish, which appears to be the theme of the show. Also, you know what, producers and judges? I call BS on the guys being strong this year. Some are strong. But as a whole, if going back to season 1's "guys whose names end in 'jay'" thing is considered strong, then this show has gone downhill real fast.

So the judges have narrowed it down to 40 contestants, split into two rooms, with the rest of the remaining contestants waiting to be cut in a separate third room. We learn that the Amanda and Antonella show has been split up. And the adorable sibling duo of Sanjaya and Shyamali have also been split up. We first find the Gina Glocksen group is going through and I spot my girl Melinda Doolittle there. I think Chris Sligh was also in this room. It's trivial who was in what winning room, though. Next, the room of Antonella and Sanjaya gets through. This makes for an anticlimatic ending for the saddest room of all. The third room gets the shortest clip of all and we aren't really shown any devastated people.

As the two rooms unite as one happy winning room, Antonella and Sanjaya are both bummed. Sanjaya especially, who goes down to comfort his sister. This is adorable and just wonderful to watch. Children (he's only 17) who actually have some compassion and a total lack of selfishness. Sanjaya was so upset for his sister.. that's really sweet. And I don't see that as being some sort of producer's edit. I could tell from the moment they auditioned.. Sanjaya is the sweetest boy to enter this competition. I don't know how much that'll help him.. we'll just have to wait and see.

And to cap it off, Amanda seems completely happy for Antonella, which to me confirms why Antonella is friends with Amanda. We saw a lot of Amanda's aggressiveness and cockiness earlier in the Amanda and Antonella show. But it appears that the two of them have a great dynamic and perhaps a lot of Amanda's personality was edited in. I have no doubt that she's very aggressive. That's not necessarily a bad thing.. just really easy to edit into the bitch character. Anyway, I'm glad Amanda leaves us on a good note.

Now, I have Episode 10 comments.

This part of the recap is The Narrow Elevator and Long Silent Room:
In a way I love this episode and in a way I hate it. They often show too much of some people and too little of singing in general. This time around it was okay. We'll go over the important stuff.

Sanjaya is the first to make it through. From what I hear, which are only rumors, Sanjaya actually replaced someone in the group of 24 who leaked information about the show and got kicked off. In this case, him going "first" for this portion and last in the dancing segment totally explains it. Otherwise, I'm just seeing things that aren't there.

Next, we get Anna Kearns, the tallest woman to ever make it this far. She is cut and tries to reason with the judges. She says they've never had someone like her and Simon calls her out for trying to use her height as a selling point. She tries to slide out of that and Paula tries to help her, but she was totally trying to say they've never had someone that was so tall on the show.

Then, we get a lot of fast axing. Bernard Williams. Aaron something. And Tami Gosnell. No reason for her cut. Basically, the judges probably told her they were there to sell the Antonella and Sundance show. (No actual connection between the two of them, but they're the ones the judges are really pushing for.)

My favorite, Melinda Doolittle is next, and really? Is this even a question? She's through but not before Simon mixes it up a bit and says she's always been a background singer because someone's always been better than her. She's really excited when they tell her she's through and Simon gives her a hug. Simon has always loved the talented but humble ones and it's really sweet that he's kinda attached to her.

Then we get another background singer, Brandon Rogers. He's good, but not as good as he thinks he is. He's the opposite of Melinda.. he seems slightly outraged that it's taken so long for him to be discovered. He gets through.

Gina Glocksen is next. I think she's next in line in the Antonella and Sundance show. She comes off a little cocky, though, and not just complacent like Antonella is. Oh, by the way, the title of this recap comes from the fact that like ten of the contestants are recapped singing the same song. I know they probably had like five to choose from, but after awhile, I was like, "So how do you love a woman?" So Gina is through, but not without a mention of last year's disappointment.

Jimmy McNeal and Eric.. Johnson? get about two seconds of airtime for their rejections.

Then we get pleasantly surprised by Haley Scarnato. She sings "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" in a clip from earlier in the week. I love that song, even if it is a Celine Dion song. I don't know.. I'm weirdly attached to some random songs. She sang it nicely a Capella, and gets through to the next round. She's wearing really short shorts, but they're the cute trendy kind, not the ass-grabbing hoochie kind. At least she's wearing shorts (See: Alaina Alexander).

Phil Stacey makes it through and I'm not sure what I think of him yet.

Chris Sligh makes it through, of course, but not before inserting his own special funny into this episode. He says the judges are probably wondering why he called this meeting. I like him. I think he's probably a really cool guy. I hate that the show is pimping him out like they did with Taylor Hicks. Chris Sligh is probably going to win. Unless the Antonella Barba story hits theatres first. The jury is still out of whether this show turns Chris Sligh into a really annoying caricature.

Out of the rest of Chris Sligh's boy band group, only the Thomas dude is cut. Blake the beatboxer and Rudy Cardenas both make it. That's impressive. Those guys really chose their group well. I don't want to go into the Blake deal until I hear him sing an entire song with no beatboxing. Right now, I think he's more entertaining than he is a good singer. Rudy Cardenas is unclear with me now as well.

Paul Kim has decided that he will not wear shoes on this show ever. That sounds like a lame gimmick to me. Okay, maybe some of my favorites in the past have also "happened" to wear certain namesake items over and over (Camile's wristband and Jasmine's flower.. and Ruben's entire 205 getup). I just don't like that he's chosen to not wear shoes for no apparent reason. And he's wearing the same boxers that he wore at all the other cuts. Which means he smells gross.

Jordin Sparks is another surprise. She has a great booming voice. She's one of the youngest ones, at 17. She gets through and proceeds to hyperventilate all the way down the Narrowest Elevator Ever.

We get about two seconds of Oliva Quiba-Hurt, Tatiana McConnico, and Monique Vieras getting cut. No explanation again. I like Tatiana a lot. I think she was my Vonzell in the making. If you know me, you know that Vonzell is perhaps my favorite Idol ever, closely tied with Tamyra, the original favorite. Anyway, Tatiana had the powerful voice that Vonzell had. She had great style like Vonzell. And what Vonzell didn't have, Tatiana was one of the smallest girls I have ever seen. Small-boned. But huge voice. Why did she not get through? You're telling me she didn't have one of the top voices in this competition? I'm not happy about this one. I hope a certain someone gets kicked off for not wearing pants and Tatiana can come back.

AJ Tabaldo is moved on. This is his fifth time trying to make it on Idol. And perhaps proof that this season does not have the strength in contestants as past seasons.

Stephanie Edwards is moved on. I don't know anything about her.

Leslie Hunt is a pleasant surprise. She's not the typical female singer. She has a unique style and a unique voice. I'm glad she's in this competition, even if I'm not sure if I'm necessarily going to like her performances.

Nick Pedro is moved on. This is the guy who quit last season and will never hear the end of it from this show, huh?

Alaina Alexander time. Hey Alaina? You forgot your pants. She's wearing what looks like a button-up sweater. It's long enough for her to consider it a dress. But not long enough to not look ridiculous. She talks about how she always cries. She also doesn't want to sit down at first but the judges tell her to stop being annoying and sit down. Then, after they let her through, she asks them what she can improve on. Just go away. You got through. Go. Go put on some pants.

Chris Richardson is a mystery. The clip of him singing is horrible. He got through, though. Don't ask me.

Sabrina Sloan is a real surprise. I've been saying everybody's a surprise, but this one's up there as being possibly a new favorite for me. The girl has a distinct and powerful voice. I'm really impressed. Bring it on, girl. If you're good, no matter what the producers want by not showing you, we'll put you through. This one I'm excited to hear next week.

Jerome Chism is cut. Joelle something is cut. Princess is cut. Yes, Princess. Too bad she wasn't shown at all. Reality TV finally finds its next Princess and we're only shown like ten seconds? Disappointing.

Matthew Buckstein is also cut.

Next is Lakisha, the single mom. We replay her sweet story and apparently she's supposed to be in the final five or something. Right there with Chris Sligh, Antonella Barba, Sundance, and Gina. She gets through, but only after the judges get her to start crying. She's a sweet lady and it's just a shame how they're exploiting her story. Eventually we'll get tired of hearing she's a single mom. Ever heard of Fantasia? Yeah, unfortunately me too.

Nicole Tranquillo, my "Melissa McGhee" of the year gets through. I don't want to explain. Just think about it.

Amy Krebs gets through.

Jared Cotter gets through.

And we're at the final four people, two spots left. We watch Antonella of the Antonella Story and Marisa the nonstop crier go up first. Of course, Antonella is through, whether or not Marisa can sing. I'm sure after Alaina got through, they decided they could only have one lame crier on this show.

And it's Sundance and Tommy Daniels. Who will get through? The one who has gotten through on crap performances round after round? Or the one who slept with Antonella Barba? It's looking like Sundance gets another free ride. Sweet. I don't understand.

The Antonella Story: I don't like how it's developing. I have no idea if I like her or not. The producers have really just spun this out of control. She's the new Kelly Pickler. Except she doesn't even have a sob story. I think the deal is this: a lot of people identify with Antonella. A lot of people have been the second-in-command to an aggressive friend. A lot of people have been in that position and wished to finally be able to outshine the pompous friend. In Antonella's case, it's a success story in the eyes of those who've been there. I'm not that excited to see how they continue to spin this.

And on that note, this entry is way too long and it's way too late. I need to get up tomorrow.

The Amazing Race All-Stars Preview!

2007-02-17T02:55:00.000-08:00

Ten Seasons Ago on The Amazing Race:
A little reality show was born at the beginning of a new era of television. Its concept was simple: Send teams on a world-wide treasure hunt. Have them complete tasks and race to each pitstop mat. Along the way, all but three teams would be eliminated and only one team would earn the right to cross the finish line in first place. The prize was huge. A million dollars and a priceless trip around the world.

For the past six years, 112 teams have raced around the world. All but ten of them have come up short, many of them in more ways than one. Families have raced together. Couples have raced together. Best friends have raced together. Now, ten teams and one fake team have returned. They have come back, some after ten seasons, to a completely different race. They all have only one goal in mind.. don't get stuck carrying around a slab of meat, two backpacks, and your whiny teammate. Or at least that will be Charla's goal.

In the first season, it was Rob and Brennan. In the second season, it was Chris and Alex. In the third season, it was Zach and a dead weight. In the fourth season, it was Lance Bass' broke down lover and Chip. In the fifth season, it was Chip and Kim. In season six, it was unfortunately Freddy and Princess Kendra. In season seven, it was Uchenna and Joyce. In the season they all refuse to talk about, it was Nick, Alex, Megan, and Tommy Linz. In the ninth season, it was BJ and Tyler. In the most recent season, the tenth season, it was Tyler and James. Who will it be this season?

This season on The Amazing Race 11 All-Stars:
We have eleven returning teams. I have been waiting for this for a long time. So we will go through each team carefully and decide how well each will do in this go around. I will score each team based on (1) Past Performance, (2) Athletic Ability, (3) Mental Ability, (4) Driving/Directions, (5) Aggressiveness, and (6) Roadblock Rule--the ability to cope with the roadblock rule that was put into place after the Bowling Moms were royally screwed. By the way, lack of Bowling Moms really upsets me. But we'll get to that later. My last section will be dedicated to who deserves to be in this All-Stars edition.

For each category, there is a max of three points and a minimum of negative three points.

Kevin and Drew:
Fraternity Brothers/BFF
Finished 4th in Season 1.
40 and 41 years old.

They competed so long ago, I barely remember their racing style. Of course, I have seen the first season since then, but it's still hard to predict how they will do in a race so different from its original form. They really built a bond with Nancy and Emily and were crushed when the Guidos squeaked by.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: Not bad, but they've gotten six years older. (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Not the brightest bulbs in the shack, but as far as the race goes, they're no Heather and Eve. (1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: If I remember correctly, they weren't perfect navigators by any means. (0 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They weren't cutthroat but they weren't Michael and Kathy. (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They will deal fine. No problem. (3 points)
Total: 5 points

Oswald and Danny:
BFF
Finished 4th in Season 2.
36 and 41 years old.

Everybody was really into Team ChaChaCha or whatever they called themselves. I recall them being entertaining and being the first team to find a local guide to take them to their destinations. I don't really remember them being the greatest at navigating.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: I think they're decent (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Finding a local guide was a smart thing. I think they'll probably be good at using resources (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I remembered them not being so good. (-1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: Not overly so, but I don't think they'd get stepped on. (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They'll be fine. (3 points)
Total: 5 points

John Vito and Jill:
Formerly Dating :(
Finished 5th in Season 3.
32 and 29 years old.

Anybody that knows me race-wise knows that I love John Vito and Jill and back when their season was on, saw them as the most awesome couple ever and wanted them to get married. Now that I know they're separated, I think it's great that they're doing the race together again and hopefully they'll get along. I wonder if we'll find out in the first five minutes who was the one to call it quits.

(1) Past Performance: 5th place (-2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: Jill was the first real female powerhouse. Still looks good. And John Vito is built. (3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: I would say they need to learn to ask for help more quickly. They did do very well for themselves, though. (1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: Unfortunately, I have to deduct on this. They had a lot of bad luck with directions. (-2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: When it comes to the physical tasks, they're really aggressive. When it comes to interactions with other teams, they try to stay out of the drama. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They're going to be fine. Mixed gender groups should get extra points. But that's not really fair. Not that this system I have going means anything. (3 points)
Total: 6 points

Uchenna and Joyce:
Married
Finished 1st in Season 7.
42 and 46 years old.

Loved them on the show. I did agree that their win was probably one of the more suspicious ones. That plane that came back? Tricky, CBS.

(1) Past Performance: 1st place (3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: I'd say they're not how they were twenty years ago, probably, but they've certainly maintained themselves. (1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Well, they did win the show. I can't say they're as strategic as Colin or Boston Rob were. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they had a couple glitches, but all in all they were okay. There was that taxi debacle at the finish line that was hilarious, though. (1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: They were pretty aggressive in taking on the race. (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: It was already around when they competed. (3 points)
Total: 12 points

David and Mary:
Married- Coalminer and Wife
Finished 6th in Season 10.
33 and 32 years old.

They're back because they were funny and charming and America loved them. While I do think they're great characters, this is All-Stars. No Kris and Jon, no Colin and Christie.. for this? I don't think so.

(1) Past Performance: 6th place (-3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: No. (-3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: They were smart to make an alliance, so I won't take off the full points (-1 point)
(4) Driving/Directions: It's kind of hard to gauge because they were always following somebody. They would all get lost often, though. (-2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: Willing to give the race up to their friends. Not so aggressive (-3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They did it before, but they didn't get to the end where it gets tighter. (0 points)
Total: -12 points

Charla and Mirna:
Cousins
Finished 6th in Season 5.
30 and 30 years old.

For a team that finished in the same place as David and Mary, I sure do remember them as a much stronger team. They're kind of my favorite team to watch because Charla is always out there carrying a slab of beef, two backpacks, and Mirna on her shoulders. I do not like playing the disability card, though. I didn't like it when Sarah did it last season. I don't like it when people play the old card, either. I don't like cards.

(1) Past Performance: 6th place (-3 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: Neither is out of shape, but neither is very fast. (-2 points)
(3) Mental Ability: They're actually both pretty sharp. I say actually because Mirna uttered some ridiculous things in their season, but they were very strategic players. (3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they were decent. (1 point)
(5) Aggressiveness: Not physically aggressive necessarily, but they were fierce when it came to playing the game (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I think they were in the first season to feature this, right? I only would worry that the producers decide it would be funny to make Charla do things that are very physically difficult for her. Remember Sarah from last season? I guess that was primarily Peter's fault. (1 point)
Total: 2 points

Rob and Ambuh:
Married Famewhores
Finished 2nd in Season 7.
30 and 28 years old.

They're famewhores. They know it. We all know it. They were great players, though. I think they've earned the right as the best reality duo out there. Being successful in two shows and getting their wedding paid by CBS qualifies they as the best famewhores out there. Although Omarosa sadly is tough competition. She does manage to get her scary face on television when she wants to.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd place (2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: They're in great shape, but I wouldn't say Ambuh is in the same league as Jill at all. (2 points)
(3) Mental Ability: Rob does the thinking for them and he's one of the greatest reality strategists. (3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They excelled at getting help with directions. (3 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: It's Boston Rob. He's pretty aggressive. And since his mentality runs the race for the two of them, although Ambuh is not aggressive at all, when she's with Rob, their team is considered pretty aggressive. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I believe they were a part of this rule. I still think Ambuh slowed them down a little, though. (2 points)
Total: 15 points

Teri and Ian:
Married Parents
Finished 2nd in Season 3.
53 and 54 years old.

Teri has a new face. Or at least new eyes. These two were fun to hate for the most part of the race, but then ended up being a good story to root for in the finale. Their season was awhile back. I'm interested to see how they hold up this time around.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd place (2 points)
(2) Athletic Ability: No, but they try. (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: They took risks. They made calculated decisions. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: I think they were pretty good. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They were aggressive, but I don't know how much translated into the actual game (1 point)
(6) Roadblock Rule: This is interesting. I'll say Teri has a hard time with some of the more physical tasks. (-2 points)
Total: 4 points

Eric and Danielle:
Fake Team- Dating
Finished 2nd and 7th in Season 9.
28 and 23 years old.

I don't really want to talk about this. This upsets me and makes me rather angry to think that it's possible that Kris and Jon were turned down for this. Of course, it's possible that Kris and Jon were the ones who turned down CBS.

(1) Past Performance: 2nd and 7th place (-5 points just because they make me angry)
(2) Athletic Ability: Danielle will hold them back (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: Nope. She's a definite no and he's a no because he's with her. (-3 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: Who cares (-3 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: How do you judge a team that's never worked together? (-3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: Honestly, didn't Danielle suck on her season? (-3 points)
Total: -18 points

Guidos:
Life Partners
Finished 3rd in Season 1.
56 and 53 years old.

Guidos were the ones everybody loved to hate. They were the fly that you keep trying to kill but keep missing and it just comes back and buzzes around your head all the time.

(1) Past Performance: 3rd place (0 points- it was not a deserved 3rd. They didn't finish.)
(2) Athletic Ability: They've gotten older (-1 point)
(3) Mental Ability: I have to admit they were pretty strong. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They were pretty good here too. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: If you look up the word, there's probably a picture of them. They were even overly aggressive. Since that was annoying, it drops them down a point. (2 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: I'll say they're okay but they're old. (2 points)
Total: 7 points

Dustin and Kandice:
Beauty Queens
Finished 4th in Season 10.
25 and 25 years old.

Anybody that knew me in November, or whenever it was that people were being obnoxious about this team, knows that I loved Dustin and Kandice. I'm glad they get a second chance to prove themselves. These girls are great for this game. Actually, the episode where they got eliminated is the only episode of the race that I haven't seen. I'm not quite sure when I'll get around to seeing it. I kind of don't want to.

(1) Past Performance: 4th place (-1 point)
(2) Athletic Ability: I'm really biased, but there's no denying this team is in great shape. (3 points)
(3) Mental Ability: I thought they were great. Not exactly Rob Mariano.. (2 points)
(4) Driving/Directions: They were good until they got lost in that horrible episode that I did watch before they got eliminated. (2 points)
(5) Aggressiveness: They weren't annoying about it. They were confident, knew they could win, but didn't push it in people's faces. (3 points)
(6) Roadblock Rule: They were fine. (3 points)
Total: 12 points

That gives us Rob and Ambuh with the highest total and Dustin and Kandice and Uchenna and Joyce right up there. I'm disappointed that they didn't go all out and pick the best strategic and physical teams and just make this a race about actually racing other teams.

Survivor 14 Episode 1

2007-02-14T02:48:00.001-08:00

This week on An Ethnic Adventure:
We meet the most ethnic group ever on this show. We got all ethnicities, all different backgrounds, all different lifestyles. It's great. And Jeff mentions that one chick had a nervous breakdown the day before they were sent out and so we have 19 Survivors this season.

We start off with all 19 rowing to shore together. Once they get there, there's no tribe flag, nothing to signal what's happening game-wise. They soon find their water source and a lot of fresh fruit. Introductions all around and then Jeff flies by in a plane and drops a box with a parachute. They all decide it would be a good idea for like ten of them to row out and get it. Then a bunch of the macho guys try their hardest to break open the box by smashing it and tossing it around. Up comes Yao-man, who tells us, obviously the weakest points are the corners of the box. He drops it on a corner twice and the box busts open. Everybody thinks Yao-man is awesome.

Let's see.. there's too much chaos for the first half when they're all together. I do recall Cassandra is very smiley and seems really good-natured. She was hanging with Yao-man. For the first few minutes, Jessica and Rita confused me, but I quickly realized Jessica was the younger one, and besides, it won't matter anymore.

Anyway, so in the box is a map to where a bunch of supplies are stored for them to build the most elaborate ridiculous shelter ever. So Mark Burnett decided to save time and gave Apprentice and Survivor exactly the same premise. Sylvia is an architect. So is Laura Bennett from Runway. I didn't like Laura. We'll see about Sylvia. Not that I judge people on their occupation..

Sylvia tells everybody what to do and they put this ridiculous jungle castle together. They take a break for water at one point and Sylvia gets all worried that they won't finish. She starts using big five-letter words like "askew" and James, who we can call Rocky, says its too hard for him and he wants to go back to third grade. Then, Sylvia explains what askew means by saying "not orthagonal." Hahaha. Classy.

So Sylvia was right and because they don't finish the shelter, they all are miserable in the rain with a tarp draped over everybody. So the next day they finish building. We start to see the beginning of the sad alliance. Sad because it lasts like eleven minutes. Erica wants to team up with Jessica. Sad, sad alliance.

I guess this second day goes by fast because the next thing I remember is Rocky flipping out about Dreamz. So apparently this season you couldn't get on without a nickname or four. James is going by Rocky and people call his other things like Boston. Dre tells us that he came up with a nickname for himself, which is lame. Lame because you're supposed to get nicknames from inside jokes and stuff.. and your friends or family are supposed to give them to you. Also lame because Dreamz? Really? That was the best you could come up with? And the seventh grade spelling of it really takes the cake. At some point, they mention Papa Smurf is Gary's nickname and someone calls Michelle "Monkey." Either because they're racist or because she's like a ball of bubbly fire. Which makes no sense.

Okay, so the Rocky v. Dreamz catfight is ridiculous. Dreamz is like making proclamations and speeches every five seconds when everyone is trying to sleep. Rocky has enough of it when Dreamz kinda taunts him. So they fight about basically nothing.

So we go out to meet Jeff and you can see a challenge lined up. This means teams are happening. Like Trump did with the tent task, Jeff asks who stood out during the shelter task. Everybody agrees that Sylvia did. So Sylvia gets to choose the teams. She splits them up rather systematically, splitting the girls first, then the guys. She splits up Rocky and Dreamz, which is probably wise. Then she finds out she's going to Exile. She will join the losing team after the tribal council.

This week's immunity challenge is to race chariots. Two people will be riding each team's chariot and the rest will be pulling it. Along the way, they'll have to untie three bags of puzzle pieces. They'll have to grab a flag and circle around, completing a full cycle of the course. Then four people will have to complete three puzzles that spell out three numbers. They'll have to spin this wheel according the the combination and if they're right, they'll find a knife to cut down a rope and release a flag.

It's Stacy and Lissi on the Moto chariot and Jessica and Michelle on the Ravu chariot. Jessica gets the first bag slower than Stacy does. Stacy does all of the bags for Moto and Michelle gets the last two bags for Ravu. Ravu gets the lead when they reach the puzzles, but Moto gets through the puzzle more quickly. They get the knife and chop their rope and win immunity! This means they get to live in the nice camp, which will receive a couch and a shower. Ravu, on the other hand, will go to another camp with only a machete and a pot. Hahaha. It's kinda stupid as a twist, but it's still funny.

We see Moto go back to Survivor Hilton and we see Ravu go to Probst Trailer Park. Or basically just a normal camp. Everybody tries to stay positive but Erica's pretty upset.

We get to see Sylvia on Exile Island with a bunch of sea snakes. Yuck. She finds the first immunity clue that says the idol is on the beach at home. This kinda makes Exile just a sad sad place. The best Exile moment is still when Danielle and Austin had to survive the biggest storm ever. Oh wait.. no, the best Exile moment is when Candice was there for like the eighth time and crying about it, yet I felt no sympathy. Only joy.

Anyway, the team's pretty sold on getting rid of Jessica while Erica, Rocky, and Jessica were agreed on Rita. I do think Jessica screwed up a couple times in the challenge. I'm not sure who would have sucked more in the long run. Basically, though, there was nobody I really hated and wanted to leave. Which is nice on an episode of Survivor. Rocky and Erica refuse to vote for Jessica, so end up throwing their votes random places.

Jeff asks some introductory questions.. no harsh ones. They vote and Jessica is voted out like 4-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 or something ridiculous. It's a little sad.

Next week on Survivor:
Some idiot cuts his finger and then goes to lie in a hammock, which then breaks. Hahaha. I don't remember who it was. We'll see next week.

The Apprentice Episode 5

2007-02-13T04:07:00.001-08:00

Last time on The Episode That Was Completely Misleading:
From listening to and reading interviews with Marisa, I have grown increasingly ticked off at Trump and his shotty editing crew. Not only did Arrow use the El Pollo Loco chicken suit to attract customers, but everybody knew it and still Marisa got fired. I could tell that Heidi was threatened by someone so vocal, and knowing how manipulative Heidi is now, I'm pissed that she didn't suck this episode. Marisa seems like a good person with good intentions and this was perhaps the only time when a firing was basically unfair. It is true that she wouldn't have been able to work with that team after that task anyway, but it's really not her fault for not wanting to be another one of Heidi's lap dogs. Visit Marisa at www.marisa-demato.com and support her causes.

This week on The Glasses Are Back!:
I don't think anybody understands how much I love talking about Stefani's glasses. I just think it's really funny how low she wears them because it kinda makes her looks like a middle school librarian glaring at the stupid kids being loud in the corner. It's like Arrow has an extra member on their team.. Aaron, Tim, Suits, Nicole, James, Surya, Stefani, and Stefani's glasses. Now I sound crazy.

So this week brings out an aspect of this Apprentice that I hate. Alliances are for Survivor because Survivor is not a merit-based game. The Apprentice, however, is, and I feel that alliances are exactly what this show is not about. Especially because contestants are often asked their honest opinion on other contestants. I know there has been a lot of talk of alliances in the past, but I have always seen them as merit-based, and therefore not considered actual alliances. People have protected others who may have had small mistakes that Trump could end up blowing up, but it's always been so the team can get rid of dead weight, or someone who is less qualified. Anyway, we'll talk more about this later.

The task this week is Sue Bee honey. Ummm. They're in LA. They're a fascinating group of people. Why do you keep giving them lame tasks, Trump? And all of these tasks have basically been selling stuff. Bring back some of the interesting tasks from before. Work with fundraising, work with car companies, do something interesting. Honey is so not interesting. Although I have to say Sue Bee honey and I go way back. But we're not going to go into that because this isn't my show. Apparently it's Heidi's.

The first segment of the show is the teams harvesting honey. Which is almost as exciting as punching Rachael Ray in the face. Actually, no, that would be really exciting. I don't know why I bring up Rachael Ray except maybe because I think Heidi's annoying like her. But Heidi's much more conniving. I might have liked her on Survivor or Big Brother. Not here.

Anyway, so the best part of the honey harvesting is Stefani being petrified of bees and the editors being really adamant in playing that up. She even gets them to tape up any openings where the bees could get through. It's pretty funny but impossible to explain why. Kinetic's harvesting isn't that interesting except Derek gets stung a lot, which is kinda awesome. I bet Marisa hired them to get back at him for throwing her under the bus.

So while most of Kinetic was harvesting honey, PM Aimee and the hilarious but unseen Jenn are trying to come up with a name for the honey. Which according to the highly edited and highly untrustworthy footage, takes them four hours. Ultimately, Kristine suggests something and they go with it. Meanwhile, there is confessional after confessional of people talking smack about Aimee. Maybe this is leading up to Trump firing her next week. Who knows. Apparently, Heidi's the only one who knows how to be his sidekick in the boardroom.

I won't comment on what they show of Aimee and Jenn because I think it's probably a complete exaggeration. I think both of them are probably great and that's why people are now trying to take them down. Who knows. I don't trust the confessionals even.

In the Arrow planning committee, Surya is using a lot of business jargon and it's annoying. I don't think either Surya or James is completely correct in their approaches on business.. they just have different styles. Surya is like the systematic people on Kinetic. Arrow is much more big picture. They just don't mesh. Why did they pick Surya? If I recall, both Aimee and Marisa volunteered to go to Arrow. I think they both would have been better than Surya.

They show Arrow packaging the honey later that night, just so they can show how Tim sucked at keeping his spot in the assembly line. Frankie Suits and Tim get into a good-natured fight about how Tim is getting all the bottles sticky because he sucks at the simple task. They throw in friendly banter and laughter and a few comments from Nicole on how cute Tim is and Arrow becomes even more likeable.

So they show Aimee walking around buying stuff and Muna and Derek moving the boxes of honey out to put on the shelves. Muna is hilarious and asks how they're going to sell the honey if it isn't out on the shelves. I think Muna is extremely sensible and it kills her when people don't get things done in a reasonable manner. I think she's awesome.

Here's how the teams sold their exciting Sue Bee honey:

Arrow: Stefani and her glasses were shown doing most of the selling. Apparently everybody had a booth. Aaron sends Tim and Nicole to get some bulk sales and they spend the entire time making out in the van. No, actually they just have no luck because honey isn't something that people will get excited about buying in bulk. Because honey is a stupid stupid task, Trump.

Kinetic: They start off seeming scattered. Then Derek decides to put on a beekeeper's suit. Yes, a suit. A costume. Not unlike a chicken suit. Actually, more ridiculous than a chicken suit, given the situation. And someone comes up with the brilliant idea to finally use Angela's gold medal status. Hell if I was there, I would have bought a hundred bottles of honey if a gold medalist told me to. Yes, I'm easily influenced. And I really like the Olympics.

Then, we get the most staged circus parade ever. Trump is at some convention in Minnesota. He gets someone to tell Sean exactly when to call him and then has this big Tyra "I'm so important right now" moment. Ridiculous. Sean tells him that Kinetic won by like $77 or something. Arrow just looks defeated and I'm sad because I really like them.

So we get to see Arrow move back to Trump Trailer Park. We get to see Kinetic visit the Lakers and get some basketball lessons. I'm not at all interested in recapping that. We get to see Tim and Nicole getting really close and that's much more interesting to me. It's kinda like Big Brother when Drew and Diane hooked up. Except hopefully less of a showmance. I liked both Drew and Diane and I like both Tim and Nicole. So it's not like when Sean and Tammy had their awkward moments last season.

The part of this episode that pissed me off the most was the complete backstabbing by Surya. Trump has fired people for being disloyal to their teams. How the hell is going to the other team for help not qualify as a warranted firing? Surya goes to Derek, whom we all know as the designated instigator of the tricks in this game. Derek goes to Aimee and basically says she needs to save Surya. Here's the thing. If you think Surya's great, as a part of an opposing team, you want him to leave. He is not Amber, Derek is not Rob, and Aimee is not Lex. But let me tell you, I can see Aimee getting a Lex-style ax and I hope she watches out.

So the entire boardroom is basically a joke. Surya keeps blatantly asking for Aimee to back him up. Aimee comes out really aggressive and then tones it down when Trump says he doesn't necessarily like her style that much more than Aaron's style from last week. By the way, how did the first few clips of the show not make it obvious that Aaron would be in trouble?

About half the team blames Surya, and Nicole and Tim kinda begrudgingly say it's Aaron's fault. This is why Arrow is filled with better people than Kinetic. How ironic is it that Kinetic went after Marisa like a pack of jackals and then Arrow gets berated when some of them go after Surya? At least Arrow had some reason to blame Surya. And if Trump fired Marisa because she didn't fit with her team, then it would have been in line for him to fire Surya. I wish he would at least make an attempt at being consistent.

And the rest of the boardroom consists of Trump being totally inappropriate and prying into the Tim and Nicole thing while Tim and Nicole handle it extremely well and pretty much say let's keep it professional in the boardroom. But Trump will have none of that and keeps prying. They get into this would you marry her stuff, which is really weird and must have been so awkward for Nicole, who laughs it off. Really like these two.

Basically, Trump doesn't want to hear what Aaron has to say, which is funny because that's what he berates him about.. not saying anything in the boardroom last time. Wow, Trump, you need to stop getting ideas from other reality shows.. you're turning into Tyra.

Aaron is fired. And Surya is so pissed he's shitting a brick. He talks us to the end of the show and Nicole just politely and quietly nods and tries to get him to calm down. This just shows that while Arrow is loud as a team, when it comes down to it, they're calm under pressure, which obviously Surya doesn't know how to be. I liked Aaron. It's too bad an alliance beat out people who wanted to play fairly.

Next week on The Apprentice:
More of the Tim and Nicole saga. And I don't mind it for once. It means neither of them is getting fired and means there's a greater chance of someone obnoxious getting fired.

Top Design Episodes 1 & 2

2007-02-11T19:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, here's the deal.. I'm extremely busy right now. I have a lot of midterms and papers to deal with and it sucks. The deal about Top Design is I don't want to recap it. It's really boring as far as drama with the contestants. Nobody is that intriguing and I'm sitting here waiting for the Project Runway and Top Chef type of touch to be put on Top Design. Until they make it less boring, I'm not going to waste my time.

I will be recapping Survivor, The Apprentice, American Idol, The Amazing Race, and America's Next Top Model. That's a lot of shows to do. So Top Design, you can suck it. I am due on a recap of the new Survivor, which was awesome. I will do a recap of a surprising favorite of mine right now, The Apprentice, soon. We'll go from there.

Top Chef Episode 13 (Finale)

2007-02-06T22:42:00.001-08:00

Last time on Some Sort of Deal Went Down Somewhere:
Instead of Sam and Ilan, the final two were announced to be Ilan and Marcel. Probably some sort of deal went down that the villain had to stick around so he could be taken down in the finale. The deal probably involved someone stealing the villain's fish so he would blame it on his team and look like an even bigger villain. I think it would have only been fair to Sam if he was in the finale. I know, I know, Sam's got the personality of Tammy (from the previous Apprentice), which is the personality of a rock. Still, something went down. Sam was almost a Harold. Maybe another reason he couldn't be in the finale. What if Ilan made Saffron pancakes with Saffron ice cream on top? Sam would make a boring winner. Nevertheless, he was screwed by the politics of this show. Somehow, somewhere, something went down.

This week on The Least Exciting Finale Since That Amazing Race Finale:
I haven't recapped this episode yet because I totally forgot that I hadn't covered it. I thought I already recapped it.. that's how memorable it was.

The six previously cut chefs, minus Cliff the assaulter, return in hopes of helping one of the finalists win.. what do they win? Kenmore products? $100,000 I think. They go down the line and say who they want to work with. The surprise is four of them want Marcel and only Elia and Betty want Ilan. So Ilan chooses them and Marcel chooses Sam and Mikey. Yay Mikey!! This means Frank and Mia get rejected from this show yet again. Hahahaha.. I don't like Frank.

So the chefs and their teams have to design a menu and serve dinner to some of the most influential food people in the world. They pick knives to determine where they will be serving and Marcel gets the Japanese restaurant. Which doesn't mean he'll have to do anything Asian, which makes the picking-the-restaurant process pretty pointless.

Let me take a minute and express how much I dislike Gail. I watch this show with a friend and she and I both don't like Gail at all. She seems like the girl in class who always wanted to say something but everything she said was completely meaningless. Gail is like Paula, but not funny. I don't mind Paula actually. She's gotten over the time when she was just horrible and distruptive and now she's just really funny. Gail is not funny. Gail never seems like she's on drugs. She also never claps like a seal. And she also never slept with Corey Clark.

So here's my theory: I think all the other judges hate Gail. Or at least I think Tom and Padma are annoyed by her. Because everything she says is so useless. She states facts like they're her opinion and she says them over and over. She's probably frustrated that nobody cares about what she says so she has to comment about everything so something she says makes it on the show. She'll be like, "Ilan, you stuck with your Spanish roots here and used saffron." Yes, Gail, we can see that. At least Tom's weird analogies are trying to get at something a little deeper than pure observation. Basically, I cannot stand Gail on the show. Lately, I've had this fascination with wanting to punch people when they're obnoxious. It would have been hilarious if that Wiley Dufresne guy punched Gail.

Anyway, what should we talk about? Marcel has learned this trick with encapsuling a vinaigrette in this teardrop made of sugar, I guess? It looks pretty awesome, but like Cassandra Jusino's vaults, the rate of success is about 1-in-10.

Ilan has decided to go Spanish, which is a huge shock. And surprisingly, while Marcel has brought his molecular gastronomy kit, Ilan has brought his saffron. These two always have something up their sleeves.

I don't really remember what's going on throughout the bulk of this episode. Maybe they show them shopping for food? They spend time prepping and then take turns cooking and serving the next day. Which technically means they could have used the same kitchen for service. I think Ilan's cook time and service goes pretty well. Betty messes something up a little but they get over it. They serve and the judges eat and comment. Or in Gail's case.. eat, observe, and repeatedly state things that are common sense.

Marcel is the one with the cook time drama. For some reason, he's lost all of his fish. Oh, right, because of that deal that went down that screwed Sam from being in the finale. Maybe Sam stole the fish. So Marcel manages to misplace an entire tray of raw fish. He also finds out that his vinaigrette teardrops don't work. He blames it on Betty and the humidity. Actually, he just blames it on the humidity.

The guests there are all highly qualified food judges. Some of them have been guest judges in the past, like Michelle Berstein. Some of them are named Wylie Dufresne.. the one person Marcel wants to impress. Marcel wanted to show off his vinaigrette concoction to Wylie and is disappointed when he can't.

At judging, the four assistant chefs are brought out first and asked about the two finalists. Elia and Betty say that Ilan should definitely win because he works with others well in the kitchen and has good food. The judges get on their case about not even working with Marcel that day and having no idea what it was like in his kitchen. It's a little irritating that Marcel has become the teacher's pet because he's always picked on. Anyway, the best part is when they judges go to Mikey and Sam and they confirm what the girls said. Marcel wasn't a good leader. And he lost the fish.

So they bring out Ilan and Marcel and talk to them for a bit and then finally announce that Ilan is the winner! Which is neither surprising nor that exciting since it wasn't surprising. And the judges go congratulate Ilan. As my friend said, if someone were to ask Ilan what he did right after he won Top Chef, the answer would be he hugged Gail. Hahaha. Gail is the first one to hug Ilan because she wants us to remember she was on this show and a crucial part of deciding the ultimate winner. And we'll end on that note.

It appears that Bravo is doing Runway, Top Chef, and Top Design as their yearly schedule. If this is the case, we'll be seeing Top Chef again next winter.

The Apprentice Episode 4

2007-01-30T03:17:00.000-08:00

Last week on The Mics Don't Even Like You:
Team Trainwreck had to compete against each other. Michelle led one team while Aaron led the other. Stefani wore her glasses really really low, but did a great job as a tour guide. Nobody wanted to listen to Michelle. Aaron's faux-team won and their reward was the satisfaction of winning. Hahahaha. Michelle wanted to quit, which pissed Trump off because dammit, he wears the pants.

This week on Two What? Oh, Chicken Suits. Right:
I actually just watched the episode like half an hour ago and I'm already recapping. Because this was an excellent episode, even though they didn't really show much of the task. I have many theories that will be forgotten after a night's sleep.

I took very brief notes at the beginning so I wouldn't forget to mention things such as last week when Aaron's team didn't get any sort of reward except for the satisfaction of winning. Best. Reward. Ever.

So I noticed that Apprentice has started going the Survivor route of showing a few minutes of the current episode before going to the intro. In this time, we already get to see about five ridiculous things happening. First, Heidi is lecturing her team like she is their mother. Everybody on Kinetic looks about as excited as a dead rat. So, anybody else think Heidi looks exactly like Rebecca the gimp? Also, Kristine has the same facial features as my mom's friend and Tim looks like someone I can't place.

Anyway, next we get a replay of the call about nobody else getting fired. Frankie Suits the Chimpanzee's ridiculous reaction included. Then we get an odd three-way call from Trump to the two teams. It seems like he's actually calling both teams at once, but he could have easily called them separately. He tells Kinetic to give someone up to go work on Arrow. There is really only one answer here and it's Derek. Possibly Angela. Nobody else on Kinetic would mesh with Arrow. However, Heidi, being the head honcho that she thinks she is, volunteers to go if nobody else will. All along probably assuming this won't happen since she's supposed to be PM again. Aimee, Marisa, and Surya all volunteer and Trump asks Arrow who they want. They choose Surya.

So Surya packs up his bags and moves outside with Arrow for the night. This is where we find out the real reason why they picked him. They're all drunk and like to say his name. Oh, by the way, before this happened, Arrow was sitting around their campfire discussing Cheese Doodles. No joke. Stefani has never heard of the term Cheese Doodles and Frankie Suits cannot believe it. You know, as dysfunctional as they are, they're fun to watch. I also think at this point, everybody left gets along with everybody else. Oh, and a couple Kinetic members are standing on that rock looking over the top of the bushes to watch Surya settle in. It's kinda cute.

Now this is still pre-intro. Surya totally pulls a Furonda and pulls out his fourth grade composition notebook where he's written a bunch of guidelines, or let's say rules, for Arrow to follow. He starts reading them off and the editors did a montage of it and made it seem like he talked forever. Nobody really calls him out for trying to steal Furonda's thunder, so I don't know how long it actually took. Or maybe the rest were too drunk to care and clapped for an encore when he finished. All I know is if you have guidelines ready for Arrow, not knowing at all that you'd actually be joining their team, that's pretty ridiculous.

Credits. By the way, I think the new intro is hilarious.

Our special guest of the week is Sean, whom nobody seems to recognize. So either nobody remembers the past season or it's actually only been like two days since Sean won. If I remember correctly, they filmed this right after the previous season like they usually do but then NBC told Trump to suck it and put him on haitus for a season, which was unexpected.

Anyway, Trump says Sean never had to stay in a tent. Well, he might have not stayed in one, but he sure did pitch a tent everytime Tammy's unexcitable, boring personality was around. I feel like although last season was funny, the entire season was a circus. Nobody was Apprentice material, really.

So Sean is the Ivanka for this episode. And the name of the task is Top Chef. I've figured now after the bathing suit episode, Trump has just decided to sit down, look at the current reality shows that are on right now and just shamelessly steal their ideas. First he did Survivor with the tent business. Then he did Project Runway/Top Model (Nicole and Surya modeled) with the bathing suit fiasco. Now he's doing Top Chef.

The teams have to create a new Pollo bowl for El Pollo Loco (that's Spanish for "Frankie Suits"). So, as I mentioned, we don't see that much of the actual task. We see Arrow throwing together their bowl and tasting it. We see Kinetic adding fruit to their chicken bowl. It's Kristine's idea to do this Paradise bowl, fruit and all. Remember that.

Arrow has made huge signs to put everywhere because they actually learned something from the first task. Kinetic has sent Marisa and Derek off somewhere to do marketing. This is where the ridiculous chicken dance fiasco begins. Marisa wants the name to be Bravado bowl or something. She also wants two chicken suits to draw in customers. Heidi says no, Frankie Suits isn't on our team and no, it's Paradise bowl and that's that. They have like five exchanges where all Marisa wants is two chicken suits and Bravado and all Heidi wants is to reject Marisa coldly.

Here's my theory: I think Marisa's demise was Heidi. For some reason, they never clicked. They bickered over the swimsuit design in the second episode where they ended up going with Marisa's design and winning. I think maybe they're too much alike and Heidi can't stand someone else like her around. It's probably because Marisa's the only one who will challenge Heidi or stand up for things that Heidi shoots down. This is all under the file folder labeled "Being winning PM got to Heidi's head." Heidi sees herself as the boss and she doesn't want any dissention. The rest of the team just doesn't want to get on Heidi's bad side in case they keep winning and she's PM forever.

I think next week once someone else is top dog, Heidi will suffer within the group. I see her as a Melrose. When Monique was there, Melrose seemed normal. Once Monique left though, Melrose's true colors showed. When Heidi is no longer Hitler, she'll stick out like a sore thumb as a difficult soldier who always tries to take command. Okay, bad analogy. Still.

When the task actually starts, we have James from Arrow being his typical raspy self. James always sounds like he's been at a concert yelling too loudly for the past five hours. He has permanent laryngitis. Anyway, he's pulling people in. Meanwhile, Aaron has sent Suits and Tim off to try to get some bulk sales going on. Surya thinks they need to come back because the lines for their store are all over the place. Aaron doesn't listen to Surya and we get the only trouble at Arrow this week.

Tim and Suits end up going to some office/showroom/sketchy building and getting 22 orders of their new Pollo bowl. They're excited and Aaron's excited and it's Aaron-1, Surya-0.

Meanwhile, as Sean visits Heidi's crabby shack, there's no business and Marisa and Derek are doing the only marketing they could think of. They're offering samples to people in the drive-thru. Which isn't a bad idea.. if your food tasted good.

So they go to the boardroom and it turns out Kinetic sold like $300 while Arrow sold $430 (?). That means the bulk sale made a difference for them and it was actually closer than the editing showed. It wasn't like that one sports task a couple seasons ago when Trump fired four people for actually decreasing profits. It also wasn't as close as the previous tasks have been, and that credit goes to Aaron for sending Suits and Tim to get bulk sales.

Arrow is bouncing off the walls with this and cannot wait to move into the house. You know, I'm really starting to like them. I think, with possibly the exception of Surya, this group is tight and really mesh well with each other. They're all not your typical businessperson and I like it. The two girls aren't the plastic, frigid businesswoman type. The guys are all caricatures of normal people. It's better than those cookie cutter Kinetic types. Except for Muna. I really like Muna.

Arrow's reward is a trip to Malibu to have a private performance from Andrea Bocelli. This is a great reward, and I'm sure they didn't think it could get much better after last week's reward of nothing. They also cannot move out of the tents fast enough. They throw everything into random boxes and haul ass inside.

Kinetic moves outside and they are all disgusted by the living conditions, particularly the filth that Arrow has left. I feel like after three weeks in that misery, Kinetic would have been just as lazy. But maybe not because this team is the obsessive-compulsive team. Muna is upset and says even in Jamaica where people are poor, they're at least clean.

So Arrow gets their wonderful reward. And more importantly, we see glimpses of the alleged Apprentice romance that trumps Sean and Tammy's pretend fling. Tim goes and plays the piano after Bocelli has left. He's decently good and this gets Nicole all turned on for whatever reason. They mention that Tim won't be single after this and the comment seems to be directed at Nicole. So I don't know what's been going on, but you've got me. I'm interested. I kind of like Nicole and her crooked teeth. She's got some spunk. More than Tammy could ever dream of having. So if this ends up being the romance they promised, it'll at least be entertaining. And also mean that these two are sticking around for a bit.

Now boardroom time. Here's how it goes down: Marisa interrupts everybody. Heidi stays pretty quiet. Marisa wrongly chooses Aimee to be fired. Heidi brings back the two loudest of the boardroom and watches Marisa get canned.

Although I may not like Heidi much, I have to say the girl is smart. She owned that boardroom and it may have been the experience on the other side as winning PM for two tasks that helped her. Surely she saw that the ones who talked too much got screwed. Also, as it seemed her goal was to get rid of Marisa, she executed a brilliant plan. She could have brought back Kristine for coming up with the bad idea. Instead, she chose the person Marisa wanted to send home.. Aimee. I don't know if there's a Heidi-Kristine alliance, but it was easy for Heidi to sit there and say that everybody wants Marisa gone and Marisa wants Aimee gone. No way Heidi's going. If Kristine were there, and she was smart, she could have said true, she came up with the fruit idea. However, as PM, Heidi okayed it. This turns attention onto Heidi. Smart, Heidi. Smart.

Here's where Marisa went wrong. I didn't think she should have been fired based on merit. First of all, shut up about the chicken suits idea and the Bravado idea. Second of all, just shut up. She talked way too much. Of course, it's the only reaction she knew to being ambushed like that. I do think they ganged up on her as a basic survival skill. Nobody wanted to stand out, so they made someone else stand out. Lastly, wrong tactics. Don't accuse Aimee when she can't be singled out for something disatrous. Accuse Kristine. Why didn't you sell more? Say it wasn't marketing or sales. It was the original concept. If you say that, other people will have to agree that perhaps the fruit idea wasn't great. Accuse Aimee randomly and you now seem like you're the one going by a personal dislike agenda.

Anyway, Kristine, you're lucky. Heidi, you're smart. And Marisa, learn to keep that mouth shut.

Next week on The Apprentice:
I say either Heidi or Surya is in danger, depending on which team loses.

American Idol Season 6 Episodes 1-4

2007-01-28T01:16:00.001-08:00

American Idol is like the older sister of So You Think You Can Dance for me. I get really obsessed sometimes, but there are parts that I really don't like. Auditions are kinda annoying to me. I really like when they show great people and really annoyed when they focus too long on bad auditions.

Here's how the recapping will go.. it's really hard for me to actually recap about talent and stay on task when it comes to these types of shows. I definitely won't be covering these first few weeks audition by audition. I will however, try to always have several topics and give out random awards.

I'm thinking I will always have (1) Best and (2) Worst performances when it comes down to the semifinals. There will (3) Best Sob Story/Interview, (4) Stupidest Remark, (5) Best Hair--by best, I usually mean worst, (6) Funniest Dance Moves, (7) Best Simon Comparison--ie. "That sounded like a drunk guy at a wedding reception", (8) Dumbest Paula Comment--ie. "The air about you is so fresh", (9) Number of times Randy says "Dawg" versus number of times Simon says "I'm not being rude, but..", (10) Best Phone Pantomiming--my favorite category because they always look like idiots mouthing their number and doing an Irish jig while Ryan announces their phone number, (11) Best Outfit--ie. worst.

Also, anything else I come up with. Basically, it will be one big free-for-all. I may spend an entire recap discussing the pros and cons of punching Paula in the face versus the pros and cons of punching Seacrest. I may spend an entire recap being pissed about someone who was voted off. I get seriously offended sometimes when America votes off someone that was really good. Like I was really really smug and proud when Jennifer Hudson got her superstar debut in Dream Girls after losing out way too early in season 3 to Fantasia, who only has a Lifetime Special to her name.

So as far as the auditions go, I don't remember anyone particularly from the first two days. I remember that Seattle sucked and was filled with weirdos. They only too like one and a half people from there over the course of two days.

I do, however, remember the other two days. One was in New York and the other.. somewhere south. I liked a couple people. I really liked Melinda Doolittle, the background singer who was really shy. I liked the sob story of the week, the girl whose dad didn't support her. I liked the hott guy who was the first audition of the second day of the fourth episode. Jenry? I liked Jorey, the girl who hung with the Queen of England. A couple more, but I think I'm sold on Melinda for now. She just seems really down to earth and sweet. I hate the cocky ones. I like when they're genuinely flattered by the judges' comments.

Oh, I did like the half Indian brother and sister from the first week. I wouldn't say I peg either of them to make it to the finals, but they're both really cute and look like they're twelve. And I liked the friends where one friend was the alpha-female and the other was better, but totally the follower. You could just tell she really liked her friend and always was modest about herself and complimented her friend all the time. The alpha-female seemed like she knew she was the alpha one and wanted it that way.

Anyway, Paula's stupidest comment was when she called Simon a bad boy. It was really funny because she wanted to attack him and yell at him but then couldn't come up with anything good. I think Paula's really funny because (1) She's always on something. (2) She's always fed up with Simon yet most people agree with Simon more than they do with her. (3) Simon's the bigger personality. (4) She's not allowed to sleep with contestants anymore.

Can't wait until Hollywood Week, which is actually one of my favorite weeks besides finale week.

Top Chef Episodes 11 & 12

2007-01-28T00:47:00.000-08:00

So around this time of the year, my priorities really take a 180 degree turn. No, I don't get really focused on school work and work-work that I don't have time for reality TV. I get really really into college gymnastics. I switch from watching reality shows multiple times to watching gymnastics meets multiple times. The only difference is I will be lazy with these recaps. I will keep pumping them out, though. Promise.

Two weeks ago on I'll Pit Your Olive:
The six chefs had to split into two teams and open restaurants in like five minutes flat. Lalalina had an olive pit. Run EMC had Cliff and his horrible service. Michael got sent home kinda out of the blue.

Last week on The Bizarro Top Chef:
I've watched this episode twice, but somehow I can't remember what the Quickfire was. Oh, right.. chocolate. But first, we had a weird scene between Elia and Ilan. Since Elia is the lone girl and is all alone in the girls' loft, Ilan has opted to be her cuddle buddy.

So in the Quickfire, Ilan makes a ganache with liver inside it. I know! Ewww. Basically, Sam wins. Oh, and Eric Ripert is the guest judge.

For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs have to work together to provide a five-course romantic dinner. As winner of the Quickfire, Sam gets to choose his course first and also the protein he wants to use. Nobody else can use that protein. Which is a weird prize for winning. Anyway, I kinda wanted Sam to make a jambalaya or something crazy.

They're going to be heading to Santa Barbara to serve this dinner because, according to Padma, it's one of the most romantic places ever. You know, right up there with Paris, Milan, and Newark, New Jersey.

Sam wants first course and wants to do something intensely spicy but yet subtle or something similar to everything else he's put out. Elia wants to take a risk with dessert and redo the "Kiss" she made for the Quickfire. I really hate that in this show, someone always ends up having to do a dessert even though they aren't a dessert person. Especially in this case, there needed to be a dessert, and whoever ends up with it is difficult to compare with the others, yet has taken a risk. It just makes judging difficult. I like challenges like the beach challenge where everybody gets the same task and they have the option to do similar types of courses. Anyway, just what I think.

During service, it seems like Cliff is the worst. Elia is upset when her chocolate hearts don't come out right and the judges harp on it a little.

Back at the loft, or wherever they're staying.. a hotel.. everybody is drunk and stupid. Elia starts talking about shaving her head and Ilan says if she does it, he has to. Which makes no sense, except it helps perpetuate my "Elia and Ilan mystery affair" idea. The two have an interesting dynamic. It's always fun to pretend there's secret love affairs going on during these shows anyway.

So Elia and Ilan shave their heads. Actually, they all got this wrong. The two who need to shave their heads are Sam and Marcel. Elia and Ilan had good hair. Apparently, Cliff decides that Marcel needs to get his head shaved. So he decides to pin him down and basically sexually assault him. Marcel is understandably pissed off and ends up sleeping in the bathroom. That is just sad. A fifth grader doesn't deserve this from his classmates and a grown man certainly doesn't deserve this from his adult roommates. This situation really just sucks. I understand that Marcel is annoying and awkward, but he isn't intentionally being an ass like Stephen was last season.

The next day, Tom Colicchio arrives at the room to talk to Cliff. He basically tells him to leave because he assaulted Marcel. Cliff seems a little surprised, but understands that what he did was stupid. Ilan voices that he's really ashamed and disappointed that they all let last night become so ridiculous.

Then, they proceed to continue with judging, which is odd. Padma and Gail had no idea of the previous night's activities until Tom told them in the judging room. This just goes to show who's in charge of this show. It's funny because they have honest but odd reactions. They mention that Cliff would've gone home anyway, most likely.

The chefs come in and the girls seem surprised at Elia and Ilan's baldness. If Cliff were still there, it would've been an even split between bald and non-bald people in that room. Haha. That's kinda awesome.

The judges then berate the chefs for a bit and then Padma tries to pull a Tyra Banks but fails. She puts two chefs through and then says "Sorry," to the other chefs, "you'll both be going to Hawaii." I may have choice words to say about Tyra, but she pulled off that cycle 5 fake-out wonderfully. "Katie and Jayla. You both need to go back to the house and pack your bags.. because we're all going to London!" Aww damn, her name is Nicole. Nicole Linkletter. For some reason, she looks like a Katie to me and I always have to correct myself.

Anyway, Padma's fake-out sucked.

This week on Why Does It Have To Be Sam OR Ilan and Elia OR Marcel?:
The chefs all head to Hawaii. We're given a montage of moments from when they were at home. There's a lot of interviewing about how they plan to win.

When they arrive, they get to see their rooms and then are whisked off the next day to have a Hawaiian feast. They learn a lot about Hawaiian foods and the proper ways to prepare them.

The next day is an Elimination Challenge. They have to provide their interpretation of Hawaiian dishes. Basically, they want them to use Hawaiian ingredients make Hawaiian dishes that have their own personal style attached.

During the service, it seems the judges really like everything. They mention that Elia didn't really do Hawaiian food and it was too much of her style. They seem to really like Sam's dessert.

Oh, and throughout the entire episode, Elia seems to be really upset with Marcel and it was surprising since she kept pledging her loyalty to him throughout the season.

At judging, Elia and Ilan decide to tell the judges that Marcel is rude and doesn't respect the kitchen dynamics. I agree that it's a poor desperate effort in damaging Marcel. I don't agree, however, that it shouldn't matter. Obviously, this should hurt Marcel's chance in the finale when he has to work with a team.

Anyway, at some point, the judges have decided that of Sam and Ilan, they can only have one and out of Elia and Marcel, they can only have one. This is really odd to me. Since when were they in pairs? They seemed to like Sam and Ilan. Why couldn't they both be in the finale? Odd. Anyway, it's pretty obvious that there won't be a female Top Chef this go around. Elia is an obvious cut since her dishes stood out as not incorporating Hawaiian traditions enough. Then, they cut Sam, which is surprising but not that upsetting. Marcel is through with what seems like a huge pity vote from Padma, who's had this odd fascination and support for Marcel the entire show.

Next week on Top Chef:
SHOWDOWN! Are we ever going to get a reunion show? I liked last year's. Wasn't everybody drunk and hilarious? All I know is after the Top Chef finale, which will end at like 1am or something, there will be the Top Design premiere. I am really excited because it sounds like more of a stretch and more of a trainwreck than Top Chef and therefore, I will be watching and being as judgmental as possible.

The Apprentice Episode 3

2007-01-23T04:41:00.000-08:00

Last week on The Bikini Fiasco:
Everybody let Carey make a pink speedo.. except for Michelle, who nobody likes. Heidi's team got to meet Hef and skip the next task. Carey got fired.

This week on Could Those Glasses Be Any Lower:
Team Losers greet the returning people and discuss what to do if Michelle, or "Johnny" as they call her, returns. Well, it's Nicole and Michelle and Nicole gets a round of hugs while Michelle gets dealt a good hand of awkward. Heidi returns and tells her team who was fired. They all seem surprisingly sad. Heidi adds that Michelle is the most disruptive. When prompted, she explains that they think she asks too many questions. Somebody comments that they wouldn't like being on Team Heidi then. This team is so smooth sailing right now. It'll just be sad when they have to turn on each other.

So Arrow and Kinetic both show up to meet Trump. Trump lets Team Heidi get a day of pampering and relaxation. Team Losers have to split up into two groups and compete against each other. Aaron volunteers to be a team lead and then there's awkward silence as nobody else wants to lead. Trump then pretty much forces Michelle to be the second lead and she pauses for a really long time before saying yes. Michelle has Tim, Nicole, and Frankie Suits. Aaron has James and Stefani, whose name I hate. I don't want to spell it like that.

So the challenge is to come up with a tour and get the best approval ratings. Team Aaron wants Lakers girls. Well, James wants Lakers girls. And he says so loudly. They decide to do the theme of "Famous Places, Beautiful Faces," something like that. Team Michelle is less than enthused. Michelle starts playing the team spirit, total agreement game, which doesn't work well because it means she makes no decisions. They end up deciding on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

So Team Aaron has James take a tour and figure out what to do better for their tour. Aaron and Stefani, who could not wear her glasses any lower, figure out what places to go to. And on Team Michelle, we have Michelle and Tim driving around for hours and hours trying to figure out what exactly to do and where to go. Suits and Nicole in the meantime have nothing to do, so they go make banners and buy butch outfits.

I like how Suits has become the Apprentice version of Eugena. Sucked balls at first, but manages to just stick around to the point where he's able to make fun of other people for sucking.

Team Aaron has a pow-wow and figures out the entire tour and then goes to sleep. Team Michelle, however, cannot sleep because Michelle needs everybody to sit around watching her tank and be indecisive. Nicole goes to lie down because nothing is happening and gets a weird scolding/pep-talk from Michelle.

So the next day, Team Aaron has Lakers girls. James talks really loudly about nothing.. a lot. Stefani takes over and rocks it.. all the while still wearing her glasses at the tip of her nose. They get a lot of interaction with their tourists. Stefani remembers so much information about the places they're showing and really grabs people's attention.

Team Michelle is tanking. They're so pathetic that their microphones don't even like them. Tim tells their customers about drugs and Michelle talks nonsense. It pretty much sucks.

So in the boardroom, Team Aaron has 82% ratings and Team Michelle has something like 58%. Before much can happen, Michelle decides to quit. Then, the most bizarre five minutes of television occurs. Donald berates her and the entire time, Michelle's face is all "just let me leave already." It's pretty ridiculous. I really didn't care that much when she quit. Surprisingly. I usually hate it when people quit. Whatever.

Team Heidi is astonished when they find out Michelle quit and the rest of Team Michelle is pissed that one of them might also get fired. However, they receive a call that nobody else will be fired and they all start hooting and hollering. Michelle, who is walking away, probably thinks they're cheering about her leaving and says, "Bye, guys."

Next week on The Apprentice:
I haven't seen the preview. I say they rearrange the teams. Maybe. And Suits says something stupid. I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe James talks loudly.

The Apprentice Episode 2

2007-01-20T15:42:00.000-08:00

Last week on The Frankie Suits Circus Parade:
Trump moved to LA and invited a lot of hopefuls to live in a mansion next door to him. The first task was to pitch a tent. Heidi was pointed out as a leader and Frankie was pointed out as a really loud person. Two teams were formed and they competed in a car wash task. Heidi's team won and Frankie's team had to sleep outside in tents right next to the mansion. Heidi's team met Wolfgang Puck for two seconds before Trump told him to go back to work like a good little boy. Martin had a lot of old Nigerian sayings, but drip, drip, drip, the BS sure seems to crack the stone, too.

This week on The Tale of the Speedo:
So this week, teams have to design a line of swimsuits for Trina Turk. They will then have a fashion show to present their creations. Buyers will be at the show ordering their swimwear and whichever team gets the most sales wins. So basically, Trump saw two of the more successful reality shows- Top Model and Project Runway- and was like, hey, maybe we should do that on our show.

Heidi remains the project manager for her team and Nicole becomes the PM for her team. The team names are Kinetic and Arrow, by the way. And yeah, what the hell? First of all, we don't see any footage of them choosing names. Probably because it was so boring, judging by the lame names they came up with. Oh, and Nicole's idea of a good team leader is someone who makes everybody else so happy and motivated that they end up performing really well or something. It's stupid. A good team leader is someone who manages skills and tasks well and inspires while staying in control of everything. That's what I think anyway. Oh, and a good leader needs to be practical and be able to forecast future problems and fix them or at least have a solution before they happen. A lot of people aren't good at stepping outside and seeing possible faults in their own work.

Anyway, they get started and the issue on Heidi's team is Heidi thinks an orange and brown woman's suit is a little boring and bland while Marisa thinks it's the hottest thing ever. It's really not a big issue in the end and they end up sticking to it. I personally agree that it's not very exciting and I don't really think orange and brown are good colors for bathing suits. Especially together. You put the ASU gymnastics team in those and it's like camoflauge. The orange blends in with their skin and the brown straps just look like extensions of their skunk-like hair. After seeing them last night, I think they might beat out Georgia when it comes down to who looks more like George Hamilton.

Back to The Apprentice. On Nicole's not-so-happy team, Carey is really excited about the task and is already sketching ideas in his notepad. Somebody wasn't skilled enough to make it on Runway, huh. He's really set on this idea of a man's speedo as one of their items. Nobody on the team really knows what to say, so they don't really say anything. Eventually, they've let it go so long that Carey's already make the suit and there's no turning him back now. He walks out and models it proudly. Most of the team compliments him, but come on, it's obvious that no buyer would risk buying this suit.

The only person to object is Michelle. She says she doesn't agree that this color or style is a good idea to use. Everybody starts talking about how Michelle isn't a team player and is hard to get along with. Keep in mind that Michelle is right. She's one-hundred percent correct here. Carey's not hearing any of it and keeps walking around in it.

When we get to the show, we have Carey and Nicole modeling for Team Trainwreck and Surya modeling for Heidi's team. Everything was boring, blah, uninspired. Except for Carey's, which was not bland, just not marketable.

In the end, Heidi's team wins by a buck fifty again and they get to go to the Playboy Mansion to met Hef.. which is hilarious because that team is all women, one gay man, and Surya, who doesn't exactly strike me as the player type. Exactly why this is awesome. Hahahaha.

So Heidi's team meets Holly, Bridget, and Kendra, The Girls Next Door. I love this reward because how in the world would The Donald think these career-driven women would like this at all? They are the exact opposite of the type of people who would want to meet Hef. They have gone through their lives, most of them, working in fields that are typically male-dominated, wanting to rise to the top based on merit rather than looks. Hahahaha. It's all rather awkward and nobody really seems like a wild party-type. Trump arrives and at some point someone does a requisite confessional about how impressive it is that Hef built such an empire from basically nothing.

Back in the Trump Trailer Park, Tim has pointed out to Michelle that she and he do not have the same interests and would not likely have friends in common in the real world. Michelle seems a little surprised that nobody likes her and says she wishes people would have told her at the time. Which ends up being twisted into her saying, after the fact, that she wished she could have been a better teammate during the task. Instead, what I got was, if you all had a problem, why didn't you bring it up when it was crucial for the team to be meshing well?

Anyway, Heidi joins Ivanka and The Donald again. It comes down to Carey had a crappy design, Michelle isn't a team player, and Nicole didn't call out Carey's design. James makes a great point in saying ultimately, the design has to pass through the PM before it goes into production. Nicole took great offense to that when James was really just pulling a Yul and wanting to be diplomatic about it. He's right, too. I still wouldn't have fired Nicole, probably, but she had much greater fault in this than she was willing to admit to.

They bash Michelle around a bit, and I really have to go back to the moment when she disagreed with the team. She was right. She was causing tension in the team because she recognized the flaws in the design while nobody else wanted to go down that road. Then, what she said ended up being true. Also, I have no problem with her refusing to pick a price point arbitrarily when others had researched it extensively and had more knowledge on the point than she had. That team really just doesn't have things in perspective.

So Trump doesn't want to touch the Speedo that Carey just recently wore. He rightly notes that nobody would purchase this as a buyer. It's target market was just too small and it was an unwise decision. Carey is fired and he leaves proudly, Speedo intact.

Next week on The Thanksgiving Episode of Top Chef:
As you might recall, on Top Chef's Thanksgiving episode, only half of the chefs cooked and the episode sucked. On the next episode of The Apprentice, only this week's losing team will compete and they will do so in two teams within their own group. It looks like James and Nicole against the rest (?) and Donald Jr. is the guest judge because Trump is sick of Heidi.

The Apprentice Season 6 Episode 1

2007-01-14T20:52:00.000-08:00

Bum-Bum BUM! The moment has arrived and I am about as giddy as a five-year-old is on Christmas. I love season premieres. And I love The Apprentice. Quickly, here's my stance: I think Trump is an egotistical moron who should be giving his money to poor school districts and to good charities instead of tearing things down to build the biggest skyscraper in the world. However, he doesn't try to tell us that he's Miss Congeniality. His show is about making good decisions, marketing yourself, and succeeding in the business world. All of which he should get all the credit for doing. It's only when people like Paula Abdul claim to be a great judge of singing talent when the BS-radar starts going off. If Trump's show was about him picking the next best Miss America contestant or something, that would be crap. However, he is judging people on something he excels at, so he doesn't really get on my nerves as a host/judge or whatever he is considered on the show.

This week on The Battle of the Morons:
Okay, here's the thing. I love this season and all of its changes. I love that it's in LA. I love that the losers have to sleep in tents. I love that the winning PM stays as PM until (s)he loses. I LOVE Ivanka. I never really knew anything about The Donald's children until they guest-judged on the third or fourth Apprentice. Ivanka also did an episode of Project Runway, which is when I really came to like her. She isn't obnoxious, cocky, over-aggressive, pompous, or spoiled at all. I guess when you see someone like The Donald and expect that he would produce snotty children and then see how down-to-earth they actually are, it's a huge surprise. Anyway, I love Ivanka.

From the beginning of this episode right up until the end, almost everything that happened was hilarious. First, we see Trump talking to Melania on the phone. She's already in LA with their baby, Baron. You know what? Now that they have this baby, it means that Melania's had sex with The Donald. Which is disgusting. Anyway, Melania looks stoned as always and comes out of the house with the baby when Trump arrives. The whole scene with them interacting and with Trump driving his car is hilarious because it's so strange.

The contestants arrive and they meet up with Trump in front of the mansion, which is connected to his mansion, which is where the boardroom is. Everybody introduces themselves and they put the introductions together as a montage where they all overlap. At first, I was like why is that chick just talking over everyone? The Donald is excited that Angela is an Olympian and actually gives her a hug, which is so not Trump-like. Which means it's funny. Maybe it's the lack of shows to watch right now that's got me watching Kathy Griffin specials and thinking everything is funny.

So the first task of the season is for everybody to go to the backyard and pitch a big tent. Hahaha. Trump makes it out to be some huge character-building task that should be taken as seriously as possible. They're all like a bunch of donkeys with their heads cut off until Heidi starts to take control. She says she's pitched a lot of tents in the past as considers herself an expert. Then Frank decides that it's his moment to be an ass and starts yelling instructions really loudly. What he actually does is yell for everybody to grab pieces and put them together, which is useless.

Trump is watching from a second story window and tells Frank to keep his voice down. Then there's Martin in his three-piece suit trying to give instructions, but just looking like an idiot. When they finish pitching the tent, they all put their hands together and yell "Go Trump" or something obnoxious. Everybody wonders what's going on and some idiot says that maybe that was their first task and someone's going to get fired. Stupid.

They go to the boardrooms and meet Ivanka and an empty chair that will be filled with "someone special" at the boardroom. Everybody agrees that Heidi was the best leader during the tent challenge and Frank was loud. So those two get to choose teams. Heidi chooses Derek, Aimee, Marisa, Angela, Surya, Kristine, Muna, Jenn. Frank chooses Carey, Tim, Aaron, Nicole, James, Stefani, Michelle, Martin. Well, Frank doesn't really choose Martin. Martin's last, which is funny because Martin thinks he should be everybody's first choice always.

Their first task is to run a car wash. Trump tells them that the winning PM will always be the PM until that team wins.

Frank's team starts with Frank acting like a banshee, talking really fast, and then running off to do flyers or something. What a stupid. Then the team tries to get together and come up with a plan when Frank calls and flips out about them starting to sell right that moment.

Heidi's team starts by making signs on carboard and offering free lunches at a hot dog stand. Ivanka visits them and asks why there's no cars in the detailing area. Aimee says they would prefer to move as many people in as possible. They've hired a couple guys to take their shirts off and hold the signs because they're in a predominantly homosexual area. Where they got these random shirtless guys, I have no idea. Ivanka goes and talks to them and they ask her if she wants to take her shirt off and help them. She says no, maybe next time, and laughs instead of being offended, which most other businesswomen probably been.

Then there's Team Trainwreck. They're yelling about car washes.. without signs. Cars are speeding past wondering who the lunatics are. Frank brings back little flyers and the team holds up the pieces of paper pretending anybody can read them. Ivanka visits and wonders why Frank isn't around. James is excited and Martin is.. tired. Earlier, he asked Trump if he could go take a piss and now he tells Ivanka he's tired.

Heidi's team is so busy and they're backed up. A lady starts cleaning her own car and it brings Heidi to decide to have her team help clean. It's a great idea and seems to work. Heidi even keeps her heels on as she cleans.

Over at Frank's circus, James is working it and getting a lot of people to get full detail packages. Martin, however, is not persuasive at all. At the end of the task, James notices Martin is adding up how much he sold and thinks it shows that he isn't confident in how he did.

Heidi's team wins and Trump treats them to dinner at Spago where Wolfgang Puck will "join them." They get to live in the mansion and Heidi stays the PM and gets to join Trump in the boardroom. Frank and his team get to sleep outside in the tent until they win.

Heidi's team goes into the mansion and it's really nice except.. they have to all sleep in one room, which is really strange. Heidi thanks her team for never complaining.

Frank's team has to shower with flashlights. Their sinks don't drain. It pretty much sucks. Tim starts to pick a fight with Frank about how the PM is more to blame than a bad salesman. This is stupid, Tim, because it most likely means you will be brought into the boardroom.

Heidi's team sleeps comfortably, while Franks team is woken by sprinklers. At first, I thought the sprinklers were going off on them. Hahaha that would have been awesome. The best part of this whole Win-Lose deal is the teams are only separated by bushes. The losing team stands on a rock and drools at what the winning team has.

The winning team eats with Trump and the losing team eats on the grass. Frank's team starts bashing Frank and the price point. Martin gives us another Nigerian saying and tries to manuever his way out of being fired.

Heidi tells her team that she will try to keep the weakest person on the other team when she goes into the boardroom.

In the boardroom, there was a lot of bull flying around and Martin calls out Frank as soon as possible. Franks calls Ivanka I-vanka like a hundred times. Martin says he was exhausted again. What a circus. And Nicole has no voice. Here's what happens: Frank brings Martin and Tim back to the boardroom. Frank talks really loudly and Martin uses a lot of his sayings. Tim doesn't say anything and is excused. Then Frank says that Martin is brilliant and everybody berates him for making stupid comments.

Martin goes home.